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A Voice for Men's Threatener-in-Chief Paul Elam demands that feminists pay security costs for his group's conference

Paul Elam, Man of Peace
Paul Elam, Man of Peace

Well, you have to admit, he’s got chutzpah.

You may have heard that A Voice for Men is sponsoring what it calls the First International Conference on Men’s Issues later this month in Detroit, featuring such notable celebrity speakers as “internationally recognized writer, lecturer and videographer” Karen “Girl Writes What” Straughan, “former mental health professional” Paul “Boy Yells A Lot” Elam, Warren “Boys Aren’t Hurt By Incest a Lot” Farrell, and, well, a collection of other equally exciting names.

But there have been some doubts about it happening from the start. It took some time for the AVFMers to sell enough tickets to enable them to cover the costs of the event.

And now it the costs of the event are going up further: according to a letter that Elam has posted to his site, the hotel that will be hosting the conference has gotten “numerous calls and threats” of a violent nature because of the conference, and is demanding that AVFM cover the costs of additional security at the event.

So Elam has decided that feminists should pay some of these costs, in order to prove they’re “not like that.”

The death threats from feminists, in the attempt to silence these esteemed speakers, has resulted in the conference incurring tens of thousands of dollars in additional security costs.

We plan on launching a fundraiser tomorrow to address those needs, but I want to give the feminists who stand by free speech and assert decisively that these thugs do not represent what feminism is about, to have an early shot at helping us address the gender issues that impact men and boys in an open forum.

He’s even set up a special Paypal button “for feminists only.”

Excuse me?

Let’s be clear here: Death threats are bad. Other sorts of threats are bad. Harassment is bad. Shutting down talks given by people you don’t like is bad. Whoever made the threats against AVFM’s conference, feminist or not, deserves to be prosecuted.

But as someone who has never promoted violence or threats of violence or any form of harassment aimed at MRAs, and who has in fact spoken out against this on numerous occasions, I’m not actually responsible, even indirectly, for the threats against AVFM’s conference. (I haven’t even written about the conference before.) And neither is any other feminist who’s “not like that.”

Indeed, the idea that we should bankroll AVFM’s conference is a bit like asking anti-racist activists to fund a KKK rally because someone or other sent threats to the Klan.

AVFM, as I have documented rather throroughly, is a hateful organization motivated by a deeply misogynistic ideology. Its rhetoric is consistently threatening, designed to intimidate opponents into shutting up and going away. Elam himself — the master of the not-quite-legally actionable threat — once famously told one opponent that

I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection. …

Your only real hope is to keep your mouth shut and pretend AVfM and register-her.com does not exist for as long as you can. …

We are coming for you … .

It’s a group whose main form of “activism” has always been harassing individual women; indeed, the Register-Her.com sitte referenced in the above quote (currently offline and being rebuilt) was a phony “offenders registry” that posted the names and some of the personal information of AVFM’s female enemies alongside profiles of serial killers and sexual abusers. AVFM seemed to make a special point of picking vulnerable targets, often college students, evidently feeling that these women would be easier to intimidate.

AVFM has tried to destroy the lives and livelihoods of numerous other enemies, in at least one case through allegedly illegal means.

The site has also participated enthusiastically in misogynistic internet hate-orgies directed at outspoken women like Rebecca Watson and Anita Sarkeesian, women who received and who are still receiving numerous violent threats of rape and murder.

On one occasion, joining up with a hate campaign already heavily populated with white supremacists, Elam targeted a recent college grad for allegedly boasting on her blog that she’s been actively discriminating against white men in her job at the Georgetown Admissions Office. The blog was an obvious hoax and the woman in question had nothing to do with it. Even former KKK leader David Duke realized this before Elam did.

And we can’t forget that AVFM hosted a terrorist manifesto in its activism section for several years, written by Thomas Ball, a Men’s Rights Activist who hoped that his dramatic suicide – he burned himself to death on the steps of a courthouse – would inspire other MRAs to start firebombing courthouses and police stations.

So boys, we need to start burning down police stations and courthouses. … the dirty deeds are being carried out by our local police, prosecutors and judges. These are the people we pay good money to protect us and our families. And what do we get for our tax money? Collaborators who are no different than the Vichy of France or the Quislings of Norway during the Second World War. All because they go along to get along. They are an embarrassment, the whole lot of them. And they need to be held accountable. So burn them out. …

You need to flatten them, like Wile E. Coyote. They need to be taught never to replace the rule of law. BURN-THEM-OUT!

(Emphasis mine.)

AVFM finally removed the manifesto from its “activism” section shortly after the Boston Marathon bombing brought the issue of domestic terrorism back into the limelight. But the site still hosts numerous articles glorifying the author of this manifesto.

Oh, and those associated with AVFM are not above harassing their male critics as well. I get a lot of weird, creepy and threatening emails and comments. It’s rare that the senders are dumb enough to do it under their own name. But that was the case with a creepy and threatening voicemail message I received at 1:38 AM one winter night from a longtime AVFM fan and tireless poster-paster that Elam once described as a “One Man Army” and “an MRA’s MRA.”

And this is the organization that expects feminists like me to pay for its security costs?

I don’t think so.

 

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LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: Peter LaCroix

Using words like mansplaining is insulting and sexist and I think that you should apologise.

Using words like “mentally defective” is insulting an ableist, but I think the likelihood of you apologizing is about as likely as me shitting a unicorn.

We’re also not mind readers and know what a person intends to do.

Uh, dude. He fucking posted VIDEOS SAYING HE WOULD MURDER PEOPLE. Multiple times. The cops CAME TO HIS PLACE. We’re not mind-readers, but come on, if dude says he’s going to murder people, multiple times… and gets a gun… I think you’d have to be pretty fucking dense to be surprised if he murders people. Oy gevalt.

RE: woodyred

This whole site is very strange. You people are nuts.

Well, aren’t you just the most fun to be around?

RE: cloudiah

The French are a race?

*waits patiently for Brz to show up*

talacaris
talacaris
10 years ago

Yeah Kyle Payne was his name. He had a blog named “The road less taken” with the appearance of radfem perspective. Also he sexually assaulted a student while being a residency advisor. Of course, he blamed his porn addiction for everything.

Another male “feminist” named Hugo Schyzer wrote a scathing condemnation of him, and urged him to stay away from feminism, while claiming to never have done anything nearly as bad as him. Too bad he didn’t take his own advice.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

And this is why feminists can sometimes be a bit wary about which men we let into the treehouse. It’s sad that there are people who see the existence of feminists communities as a way to get access to young women in order to prey on them, but it’s also true, so a little caution is indicated.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

Yeah, no kidding, eesh. Fucking Schwyzer alone honks me off.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
10 years ago

Oh, I can, of course, donate quantities of fish shit for composting…Which my idiot father didn’t want me dumping on the lawn because it’d kill it…huh?

Huh? is right! That sounds like lawn manna.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
10 years ago

You know, the contributions for our eco-friendly feminist security donation are sounding really, really good. All this stuff would make excellent compost. Like I said upthread, it would probably kill me to actually give it to a bunch of MRAs.

Which leaves me with a question: if giving them a box of rich, nutrient-dense compost in the making could be construed as misandry, is deciding that our decomposing waste is *too good* for them even more misandrous?

talacaris
talacaris
10 years ago

” It’s sad that there are people who see the existence of feminists communities as a way to get access to young women in order to prey on them, but it’s also true, so a little caution is indicated.”

Or as a cover to escape suspicions. We had a police commissioner here in Sweden, that was nick-named”Captain Dress” for his involvement in equal oppurtunities work. Then it was revealed that he was a sexual abuser and rapist all along.

bunnybunny
bunnybunny
10 years ago

I’m confused as to why the hotel would communicate by letter as well. Additionally, it would have had to be faxed or emailed for it to reach someone within a day of being sent (May 29 2014 being the date on the letter), which just makes it even weirder.

Nequam
Nequam
10 years ago

I also have four boxes of past due date natto.

How can you tell?!

bunnybunny
bunnybunny
10 years ago

Okay, this letter looks scanned to me, which would mean it was not faxed or emailed. Anyone else feel like weighing in how likely it would be for a person to receive a letter in the mail within one day of it being sent.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

@ talacaris

Yeah, that too. That seemed to be a big part of the motivation for both Payne and Schwyzer. They’re not the first and they won’t be the last, so again, there’s a reason that a bit of screening goes on when a random guy who nobody knows shows up and is all “I am best feminist, you can totes trust me”.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

There are way to get a letter to arrive by the next day, but they’re expensive, so I dunno why anyone would choose that option for a document that doesn’t need to be signed and returned in a timely manner.

Howard Bannister
10 years ago

I forgot where I saw it, but it perfectly encapsulated everything about male feminists: “I personally think a man can be a feminist, but try telling them they can’t. See how they handle it.”

The other day I was talking to somebody who thought that the very idea of male entitlement was — in his words — absolute insanity. And then explained how he was actually the Best Feminist, because he could see what was really oppression and what was just faking it.

Can’t make these guys up…

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: cassandrakitty

No kidding. I’ve seen enough creepers trying to use social justice work as a way to gain access to targets that I totally understand giving the side-eye. If a guy is determined to be a feminist, then he’ll damn well step up and prove it with his actions.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Not responding to attempts to suss out your motivations with “OMG how dare you!” and demands that all spaces be immediately opened to you, plus that you be nominated for all available leadership positions, is a good first step towards establishing trust.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

These guys don’t even seem to understand trust, just domination and being “alpha.” Spare me.

leftwingfox
10 years ago

“I personally think a man can be a feminist, but try telling them they can’t. See how they handle it.”

Flamewar flashbacks on that one.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

“I personally think a man can be a feminist, but try telling them they can’t. See how they handle it.”

Aw. I just realized I’m part of the problem. *hangs head*

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

But not all men, LBT. 😉

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

*snort* At least I have a personal investment in feminism, since, you know, it saved me from the Raping Year and all. At least I have a REASON to be deeply attached to that identity.

Oh hey, titianblue, I remember you being interested in the writeathon! It is go! You can click my little username to go straight there, if you’re still curious!

Cliff Pervocracy
Cliff Pervocracy
10 years ago

I know a lot of good male feminists!

I think the thing they have in common (besides just, you know, not being jerks) is that none of them would describe themselves as “male feminists.” They’d just say “feminists” instead of putting on that “Why yes, a MAN in feminism! An actual MALE feminist! Are you not AMAZED?” act.

Ally S
10 years ago

Honestly, sometimes I think that men should call themselves allies rather than feminists. I’m grateful for men who are genuinely supportive of women, but feminism always has and always will be a women’s movement. It’s not like I think every man who calls himself a feminist is trying to be an entitled asshole, but I have seen far too many men call themselves feminists while perpetuating misogyny and abuse. Of course, men who call themselves allies can do such things as well, but at least the term “ally” can’t be appropriated by men like the word “feminist”. Just think about how much more power the term “male feminist” has as opposed to “male feminist ally”. I mean, I could be deeply wrong about this, but that’s my take on men who want to be supportive of feminism.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: Cliff

They’d just say “feminists” instead of putting on that “Why yes, a MAN in feminism! An actual MALE feminist! Are you not AMAZED?” act.

To which I respond, “Yes, yes, good good, join the club, shut up and sit down, we’re trying to mock trolls.”

Howard Bannister
10 years ago

I know when I was first told that a man couldn’t be a feminist I was immediately filled with a “first of all, HOW DARE U” to rival all entitled rants everywhere.

Because after being told so many times by society that I owned everything and that was good and right it cut me right up short.

Examining that has made me a lot more cognizant of just how many lies society is busy telling me.

So I tend to be of the opinion that all men ought to be denied something. Sooner rather than later. So they can learn that they don’t own it all. ASAP.

tinyorc
10 years ago

@bbeaty:
Yeah, the lack of the sender’s address in the top right corner also sent my editor senses a tingling. Shit is like… Formal Letter Writing 101. Plus the capitalization is all over the gaff, there’s weird spacing and a stray hyphen.

Also the (multiple?) attacks have included violence against staff and random hotel guests and vandalism, but there’s no mention of the police being involved or attempts being made to catch the perpetrators? Because you don’t need to pay the police for that, it’s kind of their job.

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