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A Voice for Men's Threatener-in-Chief Paul Elam demands that feminists pay security costs for his group's conference

Paul Elam, Man of Peace
Paul Elam, Man of Peace

Well, you have to admit, he’s got chutzpah.

You may have heard that A Voice for Men is sponsoring what it calls the First International Conference on Men’s Issues later this month in Detroit, featuring such notable celebrity speakers as “internationally recognized writer, lecturer and videographer” Karen “Girl Writes What” Straughan, “former mental health professional” Paul “Boy Yells A Lot” Elam, Warren “Boys Aren’t Hurt By Incest a Lot” Farrell, and, well, a collection of other equally exciting names.

But there have been some doubts about it happening from the start. It took some time for the AVFMers to sell enough tickets to enable them to cover the costs of the event.

And now it the costs of the event are going up further: according to a letter that Elam has posted to his site, the hotel that will be hosting the conference has gotten “numerous calls and threats” of a violent nature because of the conference, and is demanding that AVFM cover the costs of additional security at the event.

So Elam has decided that feminists should pay some of these costs, in order to prove they’re “not like that.”

The death threats from feminists, in the attempt to silence these esteemed speakers, has resulted in the conference incurring tens of thousands of dollars in additional security costs.

We plan on launching a fundraiser tomorrow to address those needs, but I want to give the feminists who stand by free speech and assert decisively that these thugs do not represent what feminism is about, to have an early shot at helping us address the gender issues that impact men and boys in an open forum.

He’s even set up a special Paypal button “for feminists only.”

Excuse me?

Let’s be clear here: Death threats are bad. Other sorts of threats are bad. Harassment is bad. Shutting down talks given by people you don’t like is bad. Whoever made the threats against AVFM’s conference, feminist or not, deserves to be prosecuted.

But as someone who has never promoted violence or threats of violence or any form of harassment aimed at MRAs, and who has in fact spoken out against this on numerous occasions, I’m not actually responsible, even indirectly, for the threats against AVFM’s conference. (I haven’t even written about the conference before.) And neither is any other feminist who’s “not like that.”

Indeed, the idea that we should bankroll AVFM’s conference is a bit like asking anti-racist activists to fund a KKK rally because someone or other sent threats to the Klan.

AVFM, as I have documented rather throroughly, is a hateful organization motivated by a deeply misogynistic ideology. Its rhetoric is consistently threatening, designed to intimidate opponents into shutting up and going away. Elam himself — the master of the not-quite-legally actionable threat — once famously told one opponent that

I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection. …

Your only real hope is to keep your mouth shut and pretend AVfM and register-her.com does not exist for as long as you can. …

We are coming for you … .

It’s a group whose main form of “activism” has always been harassing individual women; indeed, the Register-Her.com sitte referenced in the above quote (currently offline and being rebuilt) was a phony “offenders registry” that posted the names and some of the personal information of AVFM’s female enemies alongside profiles of serial killers and sexual abusers. AVFM seemed to make a special point of picking vulnerable targets, often college students, evidently feeling that these women would be easier to intimidate.

AVFM has tried to destroy the lives and livelihoods of numerous other enemies, in at least one case through allegedly illegal means.

The site has also participated enthusiastically in misogynistic internet hate-orgies directed at outspoken women like Rebecca Watson and Anita Sarkeesian, women who received and who are still receiving numerous violent threats of rape and murder.

On one occasion, joining up with a hate campaign already heavily populated with white supremacists, Elam targeted a recent college grad for allegedly boasting on her blog that she’s been actively discriminating against white men in her job at the Georgetown Admissions Office. The blog was an obvious hoax and the woman in question had nothing to do with it. Even former KKK leader David Duke realized this before Elam did.

And we can’t forget that AVFM hosted a terrorist manifesto in its activism section for several years, written by Thomas Ball, a Men’s Rights Activist who hoped that his dramatic suicide – he burned himself to death on the steps of a courthouse – would inspire other MRAs to start firebombing courthouses and police stations.

So boys, we need to start burning down police stations and courthouses. … the dirty deeds are being carried out by our local police, prosecutors and judges. These are the people we pay good money to protect us and our families. And what do we get for our tax money? Collaborators who are no different than the Vichy of France or the Quislings of Norway during the Second World War. All because they go along to get along. They are an embarrassment, the whole lot of them. And they need to be held accountable. So burn them out. …

You need to flatten them, like Wile E. Coyote. They need to be taught never to replace the rule of law. BURN-THEM-OUT!

(Emphasis mine.)

AVFM finally removed the manifesto from its “activism” section shortly after the Boston Marathon bombing brought the issue of domestic terrorism back into the limelight. But the site still hosts numerous articles glorifying the author of this manifesto.

Oh, and those associated with AVFM are not above harassing their male critics as well. I get a lot of weird, creepy and threatening emails and comments. It’s rare that the senders are dumb enough to do it under their own name. But that was the case with a creepy and threatening voicemail message I received at 1:38 AM one winter night from a longtime AVFM fan and tireless poster-paster that Elam once described as a “One Man Army” and “an MRA’s MRA.”

And this is the organization that expects feminists like me to pay for its security costs?

I don’t think so.

 

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piratejennie
10 years ago

On a more serious note; please stay safe Sarah & thanks for all the work you’re doing.

I only recently started de-lurking and I’m so glad I did, so welcome!

I hope Emma Howland-Bolton has a good support system and comes out of this mess unscathed.

cloudiah
cloudiah
10 years ago

@Sarah, I would like to send you all cookies. Stay safe! Use pseudonyms! Wear silly disguises!

And judgybitch, if you’re lurking, by “cookies” I mean cookies, not laser cannons or flamethrowers. Actual cookies.

Kootiepatra
10 years ago

From that Raw Story article: “But all they’ll [protesters] tell me [Esmay] is they won’t talk to terrorists or make fun of me or just ignore me.”

Being called a terrorist, made fun of, or ignored, sounds like pretty small potatoes next to getting doxxed and deluged with rape and death threats.

weirwoodtreehugger
weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

PirateJennie,

You joined the misandric kitty hive mind!

sarah
sarah
10 years ago

Astoria Pastry Shop on Monroe has fantastic cookies, Just saying 🙂

I can’t speak for the group, but I am very glad David is publicizing this idiocy.

piratejennie
10 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger

Ooohhh, like the Borg. When do I get my misandric pleather temptation outfit & implants?

The kitteh will need them too, just sayin’…

piratejennie
10 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger

I hear and shall obey.

bbeaty
bbeaty
10 years ago

@Maire

“You can choose to be healthy? Wtf?

Fuck you. Do I even need to explain this.”

Not what I meant at all and I am sorry if it came across that way. I meant people aren’t naturally “healthy” or “not healthy.” I meant — in my experience — I need to chose day in and day out to make choices that are healthy.

I was trying to do just the opposite of tell people how to choose to live. I was trying to share my own experience. I am sorry I did that awkwardly.

I think people who society labels “sick” for one reason or another make amazing healthy choices. There are other people who society labels “healthy” who make amazingly unhealthy choices.

Marie
Marie
10 years ago

@bbeaty

Not what I meant at all and I am sorry if it came across that way. I meant people aren’t naturally “healthy” or “not healthy.” I meant — in my experience — I need to chose day in and day out to make choices that are healthy.

uhhh and I can’t put my finger on why but this is still rubbing me the wrong way.

Okay, I’ll try to explain why. Because people may not be naturally ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy’ ,but some people are a fuck a lot more naturally healthy than others.

I think people who society labels “sick” for one reason or another make amazing healthy choices. There are other people who society labels “healthy” who make amazingly unhealthy choices.

good fucking god, why does it matter what choices people make for health? Health is not a factor in human worth. Being sick doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s just being sick.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Yep, ice cream sandwiches are deliciously misandrist!

Marie — because it implies that for every potentially “unhealthy” action you have a “healthy” option?

[TW: self injury] If my options are curl up in bed indefinitely, or self injure and be competent again in half an hour, which is the “healthy” option?

Or maybe because it implies that not putting constant effort into choosing “healthy” options means choosing “unhealthy” ones, when the risks and rewards balance, or the apparently less healthy option is actually the healthier option for you at the time? Or just because not putting that effort in is lazy, which is inherently “unhealthy”?

kittehserf
10 years ago

So it was Pell? My sockdar was pinging but the KKK reference threw me off to thinking it was one of the more recent ones. That’s the longest Pell has managed without a total meltdown for some time.

Marie:

good fucking god, why does it matter what choices people make for health? Health is not a factor in human worth. Being sick doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s just being sick.

Isn’t that what bbeaty was saying? That the choices aren’t really relevant, and society dumps labels on people because *reasons* and it’s all wrong?

Marie
Marie
10 years ago

@argenti

Not much to say, but good points on that :/

Plus, you know, if it’s a mentally healthy vs physically healthy, what do you do? Eating chocolate will temporarily make me feel better, but isn’t really so good on the body health department.

and I’m just rambling right now.

Marie
Marie
10 years ago

@kittehs

Isn’t that what bbeaty was saying? That the choices aren’t really relevant, and society dumps labels on people because *reasons* and it’s all wrong?

uh, how did you get that out of what she said? cuz I’m not seeing it -_-

kittehserf
10 years ago

I could have misread it, I dunno.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

You guys all know the AVfMers and their ways better than I do, but is it possible that JB is sincere and on the level and has some genuine fellow feeling for another woman who she thinks may be in trouble?

Based on previous evidence? JB has about as much empathy as a deck chair. Also this isn’t the way she usually talks, so yeah, not really buying this new super concerned for the welfare of other women thing. I do think the fact that she’s a woman is why she rather than, say, JtO was deputized to try this little stunt. For some reason MRAs remain convinced that we automatically support women, and believe them even if it’s really obvious that they’re full of shit, despite all evidence to the contrary. Its pretty weird, actually.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

And furthermore, NO, JB wasn’t sincere. Look at the creepy way she was going on.

“We have no evidence… but you should do something! We have no evidence, and I’m sure she never did anything wrong… but you should do something!”

Seriously, how does that sound at all sincere? Or like genuine concern? That was the trolliest concern I’ve EVER seen, and I’ve been here a while!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

BTW, based on that thing with the squirrels I’m guessing this is Erin again. Go home, Erin, you’re drunk.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Oh, just saw David’s comment. Pell again? Damn, kid, you need help. And also to be grounded and have your internet access taken away.

katz
10 years ago

Obviously she wasn’t sincere, even aside from context, because if she was sincere, she wouldn’t have said all that “there’s no reason to think she did…but if she did…” nonsense, she would have said something more like “hey, so some guys are convinced that this random woman has been making death threats and I wanted to get in touch with her and let her know, and also if she actually is making death threats, can someone tell her that that’s really not OK.”

Then when reassured that the whole thing was trumped-up nonsense, she would be relieved, instead of doubling down.

Alex
10 years ago

It seems I missed yet another Pellt-down. I suppose we can add “The French are a race and calling me Peter LaCrap is racist” to his repertoire?

Chris Wilson
10 years ago

@LBT and @Katz

Re: sincerity

Yeah, that was a ill-considered idea, I absolutely agree.

kittehserf
10 years ago

JB has about as much empathy as a deck hard chair.

FTFY

I thought it was Erin, too, with the KKK references. That’s the longest Pell has managed without a trollsplosion for a while.

Kid really does need a proper hobby.

wewereemergencies
wewereemergencies
10 years ago

Oh my god that was Pell? Nthing the claim that now I feel like a real Mammotheer.

dattehakamura
10 years ago

What threats has Paul Elam uttered against feminists? What feminist events has AVfM actively sought to shut down?

marinerachel
marinerachel
10 years ago

…..for real?