Well, you have to admit, he’s got chutzpah.
You may have heard that A Voice for Men is sponsoring what it calls the First International Conference on Men’s Issues later this month in Detroit, featuring such notable celebrity speakers as “internationally recognized writer, lecturer and videographer” Karen “Girl Writes What” Straughan, “former mental health professional” Paul “Boy Yells A Lot” Elam, Warren “Boys Aren’t Hurt By Incest a Lot” Farrell, and, well, a collection of other equally exciting names.
But there have been some doubts about it happening from the start. It took some time for the AVFMers to sell enough tickets to enable them to cover the costs of the event.
And now it the costs of the event are going up further: according to a letter that Elam has posted to his site, the hotel that will be hosting the conference has gotten “numerous calls and threats” of a violent nature because of the conference, and is demanding that AVFM cover the costs of additional security at the event.
So Elam has decided that feminists should pay some of these costs, in order to prove they’re “not like that.”
The death threats from feminists, in the attempt to silence these esteemed speakers, has resulted in the conference incurring tens of thousands of dollars in additional security costs.
We plan on launching a fundraiser tomorrow to address those needs, but I want to give the feminists who stand by free speech and assert decisively that these thugs do not represent what feminism is about, to have an early shot at helping us address the gender issues that impact men and boys in an open forum.
He’s even set up a special Paypal button “for feminists only.”
Excuse me?
Let’s be clear here: Death threats are bad. Other sorts of threats are bad. Harassment is bad. Shutting down talks given by people you don’t like is bad. Whoever made the threats against AVFM’s conference, feminist or not, deserves to be prosecuted.
But as someone who has never promoted violence or threats of violence or any form of harassment aimed at MRAs, and who has in fact spoken out against this on numerous occasions, I’m not actually responsible, even indirectly, for the threats against AVFM’s conference. (I haven’t even written about the conference before.) And neither is any other feminist who’s “not like that.”
Indeed, the idea that we should bankroll AVFM’s conference is a bit like asking anti-racist activists to fund a KKK rally because someone or other sent threats to the Klan.
AVFM, as I have documented rather throroughly, is a hateful organization motivated by a deeply misogynistic ideology. Its rhetoric is consistently threatening, designed to intimidate opponents into shutting up and going away. Elam himself — the master of the not-quite-legally actionable threat — once famously told one opponent that
I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection. …
Your only real hope is to keep your mouth shut and pretend AVfM and register-her.com does not exist for as long as you can. …
We are coming for you … .
It’s a group whose main form of “activism” has always been harassing individual women; indeed, the Register-Her.com sitte referenced in the above quote (currently offline and being rebuilt) was a phony “offenders registry” that posted the names and some of the personal information of AVFM’s female enemies alongside profiles of serial killers and sexual abusers. AVFM seemed to make a special point of picking vulnerable targets, often college students, evidently feeling that these women would be easier to intimidate.
AVFM has tried to destroy the lives and livelihoods of numerous other enemies, in at least one case through allegedly illegal means.
The site has also participated enthusiastically in misogynistic internet hate-orgies directed at outspoken women like Rebecca Watson and Anita Sarkeesian, women who received and who are still receiving numerous violent threats of rape and murder.
On one occasion, joining up with a hate campaign already heavily populated with white supremacists, Elam targeted a recent college grad for allegedly boasting on her blog that she’s been actively discriminating against white men in her job at the Georgetown Admissions Office. The blog was an obvious hoax and the woman in question had nothing to do with it. Even former KKK leader David Duke realized this before Elam did.
And we can’t forget that AVFM hosted a terrorist manifesto in its activism section for several years, written by Thomas Ball, a Men’s Rights Activist who hoped that his dramatic suicide – he burned himself to death on the steps of a courthouse – would inspire other MRAs to start firebombing courthouses and police stations.
So boys, we need to start burning down police stations and courthouses. … the dirty deeds are being carried out by our local police, prosecutors and judges. These are the people we pay good money to protect us and our families. And what do we get for our tax money? Collaborators who are no different than the Vichy of France or the Quislings of Norway during the Second World War. All because they go along to get along. They are an embarrassment, the whole lot of them. And they need to be held accountable. So burn them out. …
You need to flatten them, like Wile E. Coyote. They need to be taught never to replace the rule of law. BURN-THEM-OUT!
(Emphasis mine.)
AVFM finally removed the manifesto from its “activism” section shortly after the Boston Marathon bombing brought the issue of domestic terrorism back into the limelight. But the site still hosts numerous articles glorifying the author of this manifesto.
Oh, and those associated with AVFM are not above harassing their male critics as well. I get a lot of weird, creepy and threatening emails and comments. It’s rare that the senders are dumb enough to do it under their own name. But that was the case with a creepy and threatening voicemail message I received at 1:38 AM one winter night from a longtime AVFM fan and tireless poster-paster that Elam once described as a “One Man Army” and “an MRA’s MRA.”
And this is the organization that expects feminists like me to pay for its security costs?
I don’t think so.
@marie
I literally have no idea. I read through and laughed the the “proof” – one of which was the feminist protest in Canada against the MRMs. So I’m guessing, yes it’s a MRM thing – I know David got a abusive call from some Australian MRMs. Sigh. I did get a laugh when they referred to “feminist cells” however.
@kittehs
I don’t give a rats ass if they were trying to be helpful or not.
Whatever. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m reading it wrong.
Josh. Im so pissed and emotional I can’t think right.
Its just how can phrasing ‘choose to be healthy’ be a not shitty thing in a talk about mental problems. because that’s all it brings up for me. The six years I didn’t know I had depression and didn’t know what was wrong with me and figured I was just lazy as fuck.
And ‘choose to be healthy’ with ‘eating right’ and ‘excersing’ just felt like so much shit I”ve had neurotypical people tell me, or heard able bodied people tell my sister.
that if you’re examples of what to do fits up with what so many people say when they’re being shitty. And that bbeaty didn’t even clarify what they meant.
I’m just so out of benefit of doubt.
Blah, pecunium, blah! You’re awesome.
LBT — ah yes, the DSC and R fiasco, now I know exactly what you meant!
Every petition on Change.org is utterly useless because the website churns them out without any actual effort on the petitioners part. It’s been years since a non-gag online petition got any press simply because there are petitions trumpeting and denouncing everything. Do a search for anything from “Feminism” to “Star Wars” on Chang.org and you’ll find dozens poorly written petitions whining about it.
“feminist cells”?
It’s in the mitochondria?
Well, mitochondria is inherited matrilineally.
misandry! mitochondria resources must be shared!
sorry, I haven’t eaten yet and I am getting silly
Marie, yeah, I agree, the “choosing to be healthy” was shitty phrasing,whether meant literally or as I read it – and I read it from the privilege of never having mental problems that were incapacitating or chemically caused or unrecognised or any of that horrible shit, and never being on the end of the garbage non-neurotypical people get thrown at them. Privilege, in other words. Did I come across as splainy? If so, I apologise for that.
DSC and R, whoa, yes, that makes sense. Nah, LBT, I don’t think you could get near those two in the Being an Arsehole race. They had so much practice.
I thought feminist cells were the ones lighted by Scented Fucking Candles and with fluffy rugs on the floor?
@kittehs
I don’t think you came as splainy.
I just wish I knew what bbeaty meant by it :/
because you’re right that it couldnot have had that intent.
but just the way my life has been it is the first intent I read it as, and intent doesn’t change that it hurt but I’d feel a lot better if I knew bbeaty didn’t mean it in a literal choose to be healthy way.
I mean, especially since I can’t tell if I’m jumping on new* people here recently :/
am I?
*idk if bbeaty is new, but I know I haven’t seen them much, so I”m more of worried that I’m jumping on just people I Don’t know in general.
idk sorry for the dump
@Marie
bbeaty has been around here for a while. Anyway, I think your reactions are totally justified, even if you misinterpreted her.
@ally
gotcha. So she’s been around for a while and I just didn’t know her.
Sorry, I know this topic is slightly dead, but I can’t resist one more whack at the pinata of stupid…
@emilygoddess
That struck me as odd, too. Protecting people’s identities is out of character for him. Also, it doesn’t look like there was any contact info included – no “you may reach me at or email at “. If this letter was the initial notification that additional security was needed, it should have included a way of being reached in case of questions.
Furthermore! Here are links to two copies of the standard Doubletree contract. Presumably, AVfM received something similar.
https://tscna.org/sites/default/files/archive/convention-committee/convention-8-2010/hotel-contract.pdf
http://www.7248.net/group222014.pdf
The interesting thing is that neither of these contracts are formally divided into numbered sections, as referenced in the letter. Each section has its own underlined header, and that’s it. The insurance part is very vague, and there’s nothing about security or the “obligation” of the Group to “control its conduct”.
Things that make you go “hmmm”.
I wonder if made-up feminist death threats fall under the force majeure clause?
HUh. I didn’t know we also had an HTML monster that feeds on angle brackets.
That third sentence should read “….you may reach me at (huge black bar) or email me at (fakeassily-redacted-email.com).”
I love that anti-feminist petition.
As if there were a bunch of underground feminist cells one would “activate” in response to AVfM’s conference. What a waste of a cell that would be!
I note Erin Pizzey signed the petition.
@kittehserf No, those are feminist incells.
OK, this petition is in fact hilarious.
*dies*
Zombie Argenti wants to know if the many injured and maimed were attacked with box cutters.
Yeah, that petition sounds like they think there is a big feminist underground of linked cells and when something important happens (like a AVfM conference, hehe) one of them activates and goes into action.
And who are all these maimed and injured?
I guess a few MRAs have had their feelings hurt by the mockery, har.
LOL!
I guess you’d be incel if you were incell. ::ducks::
Marie, no, I don’t think you’re dumping, and like you said, intent isn’t magic.
I really wanna know who all these people are who’ve been injured and maimed and
savaged with box cutters. Or do the MRAs think bashing their rageboners on the keyboard counts as being injured by feminists?Um…no. I do not understand how you can declare an ideology a terrorist group. That doesn’t make any sense at all. It’s like declaring all environmentalism as terrorism because some radical environmentalist groups engage in “eco terrorism.”
http://www.detroitnews.com/article/20140602/METRO/306020106/0/METRO/Men-s-rights-conference-Detroit-raises-security-concerns
The way this article is written, it sounds like Elam contacted The Detroit News himself to give his bullshit story credibility.
Maimed? New information about the infamous boxcutters incident just keeps coming out! Apparently he also broke a nail.
I’m not surprised it requires tens of thousands of dollars worth of security when you’re amassing a group of people whose collective brain power is so poor that they run the risk of spending the entire weekend walking into walls. The security will be deployed like blockades in Lemmings, strategically placed to enable them to walk towards their goal – utter irrelevancy.
That petition confuses me. I thought the government was a gynofascist tool to oppress teh menz. Isn’t signing it just telling the gynocracy where to find their enemies?
I’m guessing it was just an attempt to quickly scoop $25,000 for Paul’s expenses.