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A Voice for Men's Threatener-in-Chief Paul Elam demands that feminists pay security costs for his group's conference

Paul Elam, Man of Peace
Paul Elam, Man of Peace

Well, you have to admit, he’s got chutzpah.

You may have heard that A Voice for Men is sponsoring what it calls the First International Conference on Men’s Issues later this month in Detroit, featuring such notable celebrity speakers as “internationally recognized writer, lecturer and videographer” Karen “Girl Writes What” Straughan, “former mental health professional” Paul “Boy Yells A Lot” Elam, Warren “Boys Aren’t Hurt By Incest a Lot” Farrell, and, well, a collection of other equally exciting names.

But there have been some doubts about it happening from the start. It took some time for the AVFMers to sell enough tickets to enable them to cover the costs of the event.

And now it the costs of the event are going up further: according to a letter that Elam has posted to his site, the hotel that will be hosting the conference has gotten “numerous calls and threats” of a violent nature because of the conference, and is demanding that AVFM cover the costs of additional security at the event.

So Elam has decided that feminists should pay some of these costs, in order to prove they’re “not like that.”

The death threats from feminists, in the attempt to silence these esteemed speakers, has resulted in the conference incurring tens of thousands of dollars in additional security costs.

We plan on launching a fundraiser tomorrow to address those needs, but I want to give the feminists who stand by free speech and assert decisively that these thugs do not represent what feminism is about, to have an early shot at helping us address the gender issues that impact men and boys in an open forum.

He’s even set up a special Paypal button “for feminists only.”

Excuse me?

Let’s be clear here: Death threats are bad. Other sorts of threats are bad. Harassment is bad. Shutting down talks given by people you don’t like is bad. Whoever made the threats against AVFM’s conference, feminist or not, deserves to be prosecuted.

But as someone who has never promoted violence or threats of violence or any form of harassment aimed at MRAs, and who has in fact spoken out against this on numerous occasions, I’m not actually responsible, even indirectly, for the threats against AVFM’s conference. (I haven’t even written about the conference before.) And neither is any other feminist who’s “not like that.”

Indeed, the idea that we should bankroll AVFM’s conference is a bit like asking anti-racist activists to fund a KKK rally because someone or other sent threats to the Klan.

AVFM, as I have documented rather throroughly, is a hateful organization motivated by a deeply misogynistic ideology. Its rhetoric is consistently threatening, designed to intimidate opponents into shutting up and going away. Elam himself — the master of the not-quite-legally actionable threat — once famously told one opponent that

I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection. …

Your only real hope is to keep your mouth shut and pretend AVfM and register-her.com does not exist for as long as you can. …

We are coming for you … .

It’s a group whose main form of “activism” has always been harassing individual women; indeed, the Register-Her.com sitte referenced in the above quote (currently offline and being rebuilt) was a phony “offenders registry” that posted the names and some of the personal information of AVFM’s female enemies alongside profiles of serial killers and sexual abusers. AVFM seemed to make a special point of picking vulnerable targets, often college students, evidently feeling that these women would be easier to intimidate.

AVFM has tried to destroy the lives and livelihoods of numerous other enemies, in at least one case through allegedly illegal means.

The site has also participated enthusiastically in misogynistic internet hate-orgies directed at outspoken women like Rebecca Watson and Anita Sarkeesian, women who received and who are still receiving numerous violent threats of rape and murder.

On one occasion, joining up with a hate campaign already heavily populated with white supremacists, Elam targeted a recent college grad for allegedly boasting on her blog that she’s been actively discriminating against white men in her job at the Georgetown Admissions Office. The blog was an obvious hoax and the woman in question had nothing to do with it. Even former KKK leader David Duke realized this before Elam did.

And we can’t forget that AVFM hosted a terrorist manifesto in its activism section for several years, written by Thomas Ball, a Men’s Rights Activist who hoped that his dramatic suicide – he burned himself to death on the steps of a courthouse – would inspire other MRAs to start firebombing courthouses and police stations.

So boys, we need to start burning down police stations and courthouses. … the dirty deeds are being carried out by our local police, prosecutors and judges. These are the people we pay good money to protect us and our families. And what do we get for our tax money? Collaborators who are no different than the Vichy of France or the Quislings of Norway during the Second World War. All because they go along to get along. They are an embarrassment, the whole lot of them. And they need to be held accountable. So burn them out. …

You need to flatten them, like Wile E. Coyote. They need to be taught never to replace the rule of law. BURN-THEM-OUT!

(Emphasis mine.)

AVFM finally removed the manifesto from its “activism” section shortly after the Boston Marathon bombing brought the issue of domestic terrorism back into the limelight. But the site still hosts numerous articles glorifying the author of this manifesto.

Oh, and those associated with AVFM are not above harassing their male critics as well. I get a lot of weird, creepy and threatening emails and comments. It’s rare that the senders are dumb enough to do it under their own name. But that was the case with a creepy and threatening voicemail message I received at 1:38 AM one winter night from a longtime AVFM fan and tireless poster-paster that Elam once described as a “One Man Army” and “an MRA’s MRA.”

And this is the organization that expects feminists like me to pay for its security costs?

I don’t think so.

 

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tealily
tealily
10 years ago

Is this disingenuous person for real? Not only do I not believe that she cares about that person, this whole thing sounds like a setup.

“If” death threats have been made, I for one don’t give a flying fig who it is. Law enforcement can have them and throw away the key. Unlike people in some groups that will condone anything by someone in their group, some people have standards.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: tealily

Judgybitch is sadly very real. She’s also not nearly as subtle a manipulator as she thinks it is. Really, this whole post was the equivalent of her driving around in a creepy van with FREE CANDY spray-painted on the side.

Cliff Pervocracy
Cliff Pervocracy
10 years ago

augzillary – I think we were all supposed to leap into action screaming “We will defend a woman who makes death threats, because she is a WOMAN who threatens MEN! Our favorite!”

Then JB could screencap it and take it out of context to mean that we all fart in elevators, because I don’t see anyone here posting “I don’t fart in elevators,” and you know what such a suspicious lack of comment on the matter must mean.

Fibinachi
10 years ago

@Marie

Well you are, aren’t you? I was just fairly sure having more than one in the party would end up leaving you open to some of the more nefarious uses of fallacies, foibles or some of the dread projection from the dastardly Incelivores I found in the Codex of the Biotruthine Reaches.

You make a great Citation Ranger!

Which actually all reminds me to ask if you all remembered to carry over the Boon you get from the Furrinati because you scrubbed the liquid gold out out of the Halls of Yarn? You can pick your own at will matriarchical covenant! Everything from Kitty Claw Caltrops to the Boots of The Mammoth Stampede!

katz
10 years ago

White Knight Mangina is a prestige class.

Marie
10 years ago

@fibinachi

not sure what to say, but I love your rpg/mammoth crossover thing 😀

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

Is every person in the world going to be assumed responsible if they don’t specifically say they weren’t involved? Just curious.

My cats have not confirmed they did not make the threats. I just realized they have not proven they weren’t Jack the Ripper.

I AM CONCERNED PLEASE SEND HELP

dustedeste
dustedeste
10 years ago

Clearly we’re the lizard, here.

tealily
tealily
10 years ago

Ninja’ed by auggziliary.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

If I’m going to be a Mangina Knight, I INSIST on having a bag of holding up my junk.

Judgy might have been a little more effective if we’d actually known who the hell this woman was, or if we’d signed into some secret cabal to overthrow them.

Psh. Like we need to. They overthrow themselves easily.

Marie
10 years ago

@lbt

If I’m going to be a Mangina Knight, I INSIST on having a bag of holding up my junk

O_o weird mental image.

would the bag actually hold up your junk, or is it just named that?

Fade
Fade
10 years ago

are candle-scenters the mage class? I have to play as a mage…. XD

Ally S
10 years ago

Are you going to seal the bag with a cock scrunchy?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

She’s an even less effective troll than the dumbass in the other threat. At least he was getting on people’s nerves for a while.

tealily
tealily
10 years ago

@LBT

Agreed.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

Oh my god, dustedeste, I REMEMBER that movie. That and the kangaroo bits are all I remember.

Fibinachi
10 years ago

White Knight Mangina is a prestige class.

I don’t know why but that just made me laugh and laugh and laugh.

@LBT

I always found the Knight Mangina to be a little overpowered and odd to fit in with the normal alimony acquisition / allegation gameplay. It’s strange to have a class that gets Sell Your Soul ability at first level?

But I found a really cool class by slipping on my bathroom tiles and listening to the whispers of the fungus that growth in my drain, so do you want to play a Feminist Faker? It’s this really lovely class that attracts Troll attention and has a whole host of abilities related to being told how it’s impossible to be a feminist and a man, and blowing minds.

And it goes really well with the Citation Ranger and the Candle-Scenter.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: Marie

would the bag actually hold up your junk, or is it just named that?

No, no, it’d just mean that I’d stuff things up my nether regions. I could carry the entire party rations in my Infernal Realms, if you know what I mean!

RE: Ally

Are you going to seal the bag with a cock scrunchy?

Of COURSE!

RE: Fibinachi

so do you want to play a Feminist Faker? It’s this really lovely class that attracts Troll attention and has a whole host of abilities related to being told how it’s impossible to be a feminist and a man, and blowing minds.

Hmmm, I dunno… do I get to keep my bag of holding?

Fibinachi
10 years ago

But of course!

And you’ll need all that storage space, because going over the notes, I can tell the Fortress of Roaring Voices is just loaded with an endless trove of wrongness, ingots of Bittern the metal that grumbles at chtonic depths, treasures of reaching beyond number, halls full of shining polished assfax, an entire wing devoted to nothing but the word spinster repeated in endless murals painted by the gentle hands of angry workers. There’s a basement full of ratdroppings, prized beyond measure. I’ve never seen so much gullibilitytanioum and ignoranium in the same place at once!

@Marie

It is indeed. It scents candles! candles of misandry!. The effluent power of mighty misandric magic oozes forth from the wax stained robes or kilts of the candle-scenter orders. And the wax golems are actually great companions. And I really quite fancy their ability to scare away swarms of Manliepedes.

Marie
10 years ago

@fibinachi

you got me and fade mixxed up in that last comment 😉

emilygoddess
10 years ago

Honestly, sometimes I think that men should call themselves allies rather than feminists. I’m grateful for men who are genuinely supportive of women, but feminism always has and always will be a women’s movement.

I tend to agree. I just don’t care enough to actively tell men not to claim the label.

Two hilarious things.

1. Elam actually thought that most people would buy this poorly written, unprofessional letter that doesn’t follow standard procedures as being totally legit.
2. He was partially correct, but only when it comes to his own followers.

And you can’t tell them otherwise, because like all conspiracy tinhats, they’re the kind of people who mentally divide the world into “a few safe sources who would never lie to me” and “part of the conspiracy”. Simply by questioning the safe source (AVfM, InfoWars, Fox News), you mark yourself as someone who can’t be trusted, and the presence of criticism just proves that only Paul/Alex/Rupert is telling you the truth.

(Anyone know where I can read more on the psychology of conspiracy belief? It’s just fascinating to me.)

I’m starting to wonder if the conference was never really ready to go at all–like, half the promised speakers weren’t really confirmed, or they rented a 400-seat ballroom and sold 40 tickets, or something like that–and this is Elam’s way of leading up to a no-refunds cancellation while trying to collect even more money along the way.

No, Paul would never do that!

Unless these potential violent feminists are so intent on disrupting this Conference that they’ve invested in fake identities?

Wouldn’t surprise me! If they’re willing and able to mess with Google search results, who knows what else they’re capable of?!

@LBT, can you please not use the “B” word?

Marie
10 years ago

^she asked about candle scenters

Fibinachi
10 years ago

CURSES.

I apologize! q: I was a little pre-occupied actually thinking about wax golems.

I meant Fade! And my answer still stands.

( Seriously, they exist! There’s a version in Pathfinder, which isn’t what I prefer but whatever. Look!). It’s melted by fire and gains sentence and I didn’t know this but my god is the group I’m playing with in so much trouble.

Also apparently they end up thinking they’re the person they’re made to represent?

Mammothers! Help

what if my character is just a wax golem replica that thinks it’s my character?
What if I am!?)

Fibinachi
10 years ago

@emilygoddess:

I found A Culture of Conspiracy, Michael Barkun, to be quite interesting. I read it… 6 years ago, so maybe it’s a little out of date.

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