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A Voice for Men's Threatener-in-Chief Paul Elam demands that feminists pay security costs for his group's conference

Paul Elam, Man of Peace
Paul Elam, Man of Peace

Well, you have to admit, he’s got chutzpah.

You may have heard that A Voice for Men is sponsoring what it calls the First International Conference on Men’s Issues later this month in Detroit, featuring such notable celebrity speakers as “internationally recognized writer, lecturer and videographer” Karen “Girl Writes What” Straughan, “former mental health professional” Paul “Boy Yells A Lot” Elam, Warren “Boys Aren’t Hurt By Incest a Lot” Farrell, and, well, a collection of other equally exciting names.

But there have been some doubts about it happening from the start. It took some time for the AVFMers to sell enough tickets to enable them to cover the costs of the event.

And now it the costs of the event are going up further: according to a letter that Elam has posted to his site, the hotel that will be hosting the conference has gotten “numerous calls and threats” of a violent nature because of the conference, and is demanding that AVFM cover the costs of additional security at the event.

So Elam has decided that feminists should pay some of these costs, in order to prove they’re “not like that.”

The death threats from feminists, in the attempt to silence these esteemed speakers, has resulted in the conference incurring tens of thousands of dollars in additional security costs.

We plan on launching a fundraiser tomorrow to address those needs, but I want to give the feminists who stand by free speech and assert decisively that these thugs do not represent what feminism is about, to have an early shot at helping us address the gender issues that impact men and boys in an open forum.

He’s even set up a special Paypal button “for feminists only.”

Excuse me?

Let’s be clear here: Death threats are bad. Other sorts of threats are bad. Harassment is bad. Shutting down talks given by people you don’t like is bad. Whoever made the threats against AVFM’s conference, feminist or not, deserves to be prosecuted.

But as someone who has never promoted violence or threats of violence or any form of harassment aimed at MRAs, and who has in fact spoken out against this on numerous occasions, I’m not actually responsible, even indirectly, for the threats against AVFM’s conference. (I haven’t even written about the conference before.) And neither is any other feminist who’s “not like that.”

Indeed, the idea that we should bankroll AVFM’s conference is a bit like asking anti-racist activists to fund a KKK rally because someone or other sent threats to the Klan.

AVFM, as I have documented rather throroughly, is a hateful organization motivated by a deeply misogynistic ideology. Its rhetoric is consistently threatening, designed to intimidate opponents into shutting up and going away. Elam himself — the master of the not-quite-legally actionable threat — once famously told one opponent that

I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection. …

Your only real hope is to keep your mouth shut and pretend AVfM and register-her.com does not exist for as long as you can. …

We are coming for you … .

It’s a group whose main form of “activism” has always been harassing individual women; indeed, the Register-Her.com sitte referenced in the above quote (currently offline and being rebuilt) was a phony “offenders registry” that posted the names and some of the personal information of AVFM’s female enemies alongside profiles of serial killers and sexual abusers. AVFM seemed to make a special point of picking vulnerable targets, often college students, evidently feeling that these women would be easier to intimidate.

AVFM has tried to destroy the lives and livelihoods of numerous other enemies, in at least one case through allegedly illegal means.

The site has also participated enthusiastically in misogynistic internet hate-orgies directed at outspoken women like Rebecca Watson and Anita Sarkeesian, women who received and who are still receiving numerous violent threats of rape and murder.

On one occasion, joining up with a hate campaign already heavily populated with white supremacists, Elam targeted a recent college grad for allegedly boasting on her blog that she’s been actively discriminating against white men in her job at the Georgetown Admissions Office. The blog was an obvious hoax and the woman in question had nothing to do with it. Even former KKK leader David Duke realized this before Elam did.

And we can’t forget that AVFM hosted a terrorist manifesto in its activism section for several years, written by Thomas Ball, a Men’s Rights Activist who hoped that his dramatic suicide – he burned himself to death on the steps of a courthouse – would inspire other MRAs to start firebombing courthouses and police stations.

So boys, we need to start burning down police stations and courthouses. … the dirty deeds are being carried out by our local police, prosecutors and judges. These are the people we pay good money to protect us and our families. And what do we get for our tax money? Collaborators who are no different than the Vichy of France or the Quislings of Norway during the Second World War. All because they go along to get along. They are an embarrassment, the whole lot of them. And they need to be held accountable. So burn them out. …

You need to flatten them, like Wile E. Coyote. They need to be taught never to replace the rule of law. BURN-THEM-OUT!

(Emphasis mine.)

AVFM finally removed the manifesto from its “activism” section shortly after the Boston Marathon bombing brought the issue of domestic terrorism back into the limelight. But the site still hosts numerous articles glorifying the author of this manifesto.

Oh, and those associated with AVFM are not above harassing their male critics as well. I get a lot of weird, creepy and threatening emails and comments. It’s rare that the senders are dumb enough to do it under their own name. But that was the case with a creepy and threatening voicemail message I received at 1:38 AM one winter night from a longtime AVFM fan and tireless poster-paster that Elam once described as a “One Man Army” and “an MRA’s MRA.”

And this is the organization that expects feminists like me to pay for its security costs?

I don’t think so.

 

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cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Two hilarious things.

1. Elam actually thought that most people would buy this poorly written, unprofessional letter that doesn’t follow standard procedures as being totally legit.
2. He was partially correct, but only when it comes to his own followers.

So basically he’s managed to attract the only people dumb enough to look at this whole thing and go “yeah, that seems legit”, and now he’s going to keep milking them for money for as long as he can get away with it.

Cliff Pervocracy
Cliff Pervocracy
10 years ago

I’m starting to wonder if the conference was never really ready to go at all–like, half the promised speakers weren’t really confirmed, or they rented a 400-seat ballroom and sold 40 tickets, or something like that–and this is Elam’s way of leading up to a no-refunds cancellation while trying to collect even more money along the way.

I’m not saying that’s what’s happening for sure, I’m just saying that it’s, you know, a theory. Based on nothing except every other time he’s done this.

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

@LBT, thanks for the reminder. Definitely will do a prompt. Trying to donate through paypal and it’s not working properly – might want to give it a doublecheck?

pillowinhell
10 years ago

Well, since we are collecting for such a worthwhile cause, I have quite a bit of ratshit elam can have.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: titianblue

Trying to donate through paypal and it’s not working properly – might want to give it a doublecheck?

SON OF A BITCH AGAIN??? I swear to god I just fixed that fucking thing YESTERDAY!

*sighs* *goes to change* If that one is failing, you can also use this one. Damn LJ…

tinyorc
10 years ago

From the letter:

The callers have indicated that they will be stationed within the hotel as guests, which raises our level of concern.

This also seems strange. So weirdly blasé, like “Oh some potentially dangerous people are going to be staying in the hotel over the Conference, but there’s nothing we can do to identify or deter them, OH WELL show must go on and all that…”

If you did want to cause shit at a Conference, wouldn’t stationing yourself in a room be the stupidest thing you could do since the hotel will have access to your credit card details and identity documents, etc?

Unless these potential violent feminists are so intent on disrupting this Conference that they’ve invested in fake identities?

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

Okay, I fixed the damn code. I think I figured out WHY it’s been breaking all the time too, so that’s good.

Cliff Pervocracy
Cliff Pervocracy
10 years ago

While we’re nitpicking the letter, I might be wrong about this, but I thought “Paul Elam” was a pseudonym? Being “male” backwards and all. So why would the hotel be addressing him by his blogging pseudonym instead of the name on his credit card?

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

@LBT, it’s working now. 🙂

tinyorc
10 years ago

@CliffPervocracy:
A very good point! I do love a good nitpick. And the more I go over this letter, the more I agree with bbeaty and everyone else who has called shenanigans.

Disclaimer: I am not randomly capitalizing Conference because I am secretly Paul Elam, it’s because I am currently working at my organization’s massive annual conference, and we capitalize Conference in all official communications, according to our house style. Which is something all companies and organizations have. Except DoubleTree, apparently.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Elam does this a lot, posts stuff that he claims was written by other people, but he just isn’t any good at hiding his own writing style.

Ally S
10 years ago

@LBT

I hope my comment didn’t sound like an attack on you and your experiences, and I’m sorry if it did. My view of men who call themselves feminists has nothing to do with me believing that men don’t deserve to use feminist analyzes to understand themselves, the world they live in, etc. and everything to do with the problem of men appropriating feminism for themselves and getting away with abuse and misogyny by calling themselves feminists.

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
10 years ago

Honestly, sometimes I think that men should call themselves allies rather than feminists. (…) at least the term “ally” can’t be appropriated by men like the word “feminist”.

Sorry for shortening your (once again, spot-on) post for my unasked-for personal story time, but those were almost the exact words said to me by a feminist friend once. Being fairly new to feminism, I felt a little sad for a while, kinda like a child who had just been told they cannot join a club or some shit.

Soon thereafter, however, I realized that my petty feelings of exclusion were nowhere near as important as women’s right to their own movement without men coming over and cluttering up the place with their privilege and entitlement issues. God, are those a pain to remove from sensitive fabrics.

Like, nothing had changed: I still supported feminism and all it stood for, and a label was so not worth it if even a single member of the movement found it problematic. So I quit calling myself a feminist.

Incidentally, that was before learning about Schwyzer and pals. Good god.

Note: Not dissing any man who calls himself a feminist. There are perfectly good reasons to do so. Just attempting to explain my own reasoning, I guess.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: titianblue

@LBT, it’s working now.

Thank god. It’s tempramental. Is there a certain story you’d like it to go to? Right now, all the stories I’ve got open are here. If you’d like it to be free money, I’ll put it up to a reader poll.

katz
10 years ago

Meh, from my perspective, calling men “allies” instead of “feminists” just feels like a semantic quibble, and I think the general cultural tendency to not want to identify as feminist is a bigger issue than the people who identify as feminist and then are terrible (and those people aren’t always men, anyway).

But I respect the other position, too.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: Ally

I hope my comment didn’t sound like an attack on you and your experiences, and I’m sorry if it did.

No, no, it’s totally okay! You weren’t attacking me at all. It’s my job to be an adult and realize that while being a feminist is very important to me, I’m not the point of feminism. There are more important things than my feelings, and let’s face it, I’m not exactly the person who feminism was INTENDED for. It just happened to come through for me at just the right time.

And more importantly, even if IN some hypothetical world the Feminist Police show up and force me to give up my Feminist Badge… I CAN STILL DO FEMINIST THINGS. Not using the word doesn’t mean I can’t still care deeply about those issues and be useful!

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

That letter: If the Detroit PD was taking this threat seriously enough to post 24 hour police guards, why would anyone have to pay for that up front?

I mean, in my understanding the police are a public service paid for by the taxpayers (so, essentially, the people of Detroit would be footing the bill), but I don’t understand how anyone would have to pay the police department a large sum of money.

Unless I’m misreading something somewhere.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

I have no problem with men calling themselves feminists, as long as they demonstrate the fact that they’re correct in claiming that label by actually, you know, acting like feminists. Not talking over women, not assuming they have a more “objective” perspective on everything, not using their involvement in feminism to prey on vulnerable young women. I also have no problem with voting them off the island if they fail to live up to this really not all that difficult set of standards.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: cassandrakitty

I also have no problem with voting them off the island if they fail to live up to this really not all that difficult set of standards.

YES. This is a good idea.

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

While a low bar, as Hugo. Fucking. Schwyzer. proved, my standard has been to give less side eye to male feminists calling themselves feminists when female feminists call them that too. But I get weird around such things, the binary part sets my brain tingly.

Puddleglum
10 years ago

That letter: If the Detroit PD was taking this threat seriously enough to post 24 hour police guards, why would anyone have to pay for that up front?

It’s not the police who are asking to be there because of the threats; it’s the hotel requiring that the security be provided by off duty PD, as a deterrent. Off duty officers are sort of an intermediate stage between privately provided security and official police presence (as in, response to a proven threat that is part of an active investigation).

Puddleglum
10 years ago

Note, not that I am saying I believe the letter, just that this is what is meant by hiring police.

sarah
sarah
10 years ago
Reply to  Puddleglum

I just realized this now – it seems that the letter alleges that physical attacks on employees and destruction of property has already occurred, no?

Kevin Kehres
Kevin Kehres
10 years ago

The check’s in the mail…or not.

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

Puddlegum: Ah. That makes a heluva lot more sense than “we have to pay the police money to do the job they’re already paid to do.”

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