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a voice for men antifeminism doxing harassment men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA not-quite-explicit threats not-quite-plausible deniability paul elam playing the victim terrorism threats warren farrell

A Voice for Men's Threatener-in-Chief Paul Elam demands that feminists pay security costs for his group's conference

Paul Elam, Man of Peace
Paul Elam, Man of Peace

Well, you have to admit, he’s got chutzpah.

You may have heard that A Voice for Men is sponsoring what it calls the First International Conference on Men’s Issues later this month in Detroit, featuring such notable celebrity speakers as “internationally recognized writer, lecturer and videographer” Karen “Girl Writes What” Straughan, “former mental health professional” Paul “Boy Yells A Lot” Elam, Warren “Boys Aren’t Hurt By Incest a Lot” Farrell, and, well, a collection of other equally exciting names.

But there have been some doubts about it happening from the start. It took some time for the AVFMers to sell enough tickets to enable them to cover the costs of the event.

And now it the costs of the event are going up further: according to a letter that Elam has posted to his site, the hotel that will be hosting the conference has gotten “numerous calls and threats” of a violent nature because of the conference, and is demanding that AVFM cover the costs of additional security at the event.

So Elam has decided that feminists should pay some of these costs, in order to prove they’re “not like that.”

The death threats from feminists, in the attempt to silence these esteemed speakers, has resulted in the conference incurring tens of thousands of dollars in additional security costs.

We plan on launching a fundraiser tomorrow to address those needs, but I want to give the feminists who stand by free speech and assert decisively that these thugs do not represent what feminism is about, to have an early shot at helping us address the gender issues that impact men and boys in an open forum.

He’s even set up a special Paypal button “for feminists only.”

Excuse me?

Let’s be clear here: Death threats are bad. Other sorts of threats are bad. Harassment is bad. Shutting down talks given by people you don’t like is bad. Whoever made the threats against AVFM’s conference, feminist or not, deserves to be prosecuted.

But as someone who has never promoted violence or threats of violence or any form of harassment aimed at MRAs, and who has in fact spoken out against this on numerous occasions, I’m not actually responsible, even indirectly, for the threats against AVFM’s conference. (I haven’t even written about the conference before.) And neither is any other feminist who’s “not like that.”

Indeed, the idea that we should bankroll AVFM’s conference is a bit like asking anti-racist activists to fund a KKK rally because someone or other sent threats to the Klan.

AVFM, as I have documented rather throroughly, is a hateful organization motivated by a deeply misogynistic ideology. Its rhetoric is consistently threatening, designed to intimidate opponents into shutting up and going away. Elam himself — the master of the not-quite-legally actionable threat — once famously told one opponent that

I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection. …

Your only real hope is to keep your mouth shut and pretend AVfM and register-her.com does not exist for as long as you can. …

We are coming for you … .

It’s a group whose main form of “activism” has always been harassing individual women; indeed, the Register-Her.com sitte referenced in the above quote (currently offline and being rebuilt) was a phony “offenders registry” that posted the names and some of the personal information of AVFM’s female enemies alongside profiles of serial killers and sexual abusers. AVFM seemed to make a special point of picking vulnerable targets, often college students, evidently feeling that these women would be easier to intimidate.

AVFM has tried to destroy the lives and livelihoods of numerous other enemies, in at least one case through allegedly illegal means.

The site has also participated enthusiastically in misogynistic internet hate-orgies directed at outspoken women like Rebecca Watson and Anita Sarkeesian, women who received and who are still receiving numerous violent threats of rape and murder.

On one occasion, joining up with a hate campaign already heavily populated with white supremacists, Elam targeted a recent college grad for allegedly boasting on her blog that she’s been actively discriminating against white men in her job at the Georgetown Admissions Office. The blog was an obvious hoax and the woman in question had nothing to do with it. Even former KKK leader David Duke realized this before Elam did.

And we can’t forget that AVFM hosted a terrorist manifesto in its activism section for several years, written by Thomas Ball, a Men’s Rights Activist who hoped that his dramatic suicide – he burned himself to death on the steps of a courthouse – would inspire other MRAs to start firebombing courthouses and police stations.

So boys, we need to start burning down police stations and courthouses. … the dirty deeds are being carried out by our local police, prosecutors and judges. These are the people we pay good money to protect us and our families. And what do we get for our tax money? Collaborators who are no different than the Vichy of France or the Quislings of Norway during the Second World War. All because they go along to get along. They are an embarrassment, the whole lot of them. And they need to be held accountable. So burn them out. …

You need to flatten them, like Wile E. Coyote. They need to be taught never to replace the rule of law. BURN-THEM-OUT!

(Emphasis mine.)

AVFM finally removed the manifesto from its “activism” section shortly after the Boston Marathon bombing brought the issue of domestic terrorism back into the limelight. But the site still hosts numerous articles glorifying the author of this manifesto.

Oh, and those associated with AVFM are not above harassing their male critics as well. I get a lot of weird, creepy and threatening emails and comments. It’s rare that the senders are dumb enough to do it under their own name. But that was the case with a creepy and threatening voicemail message I received at 1:38 AM one winter night from a longtime AVFM fan and tireless poster-paster that Elam once described as a “One Man Army” and “an MRA’s MRA.”

And this is the organization that expects feminists like me to pay for its security costs?

I don’t think so.

 

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magnesium
magnesium
6 years ago

Why did they decide to host a conference in Detroit? Hasn’t Detroit suffered enough?

DeutschundMusik
DeutschundMusik
6 years ago

Fantastic, David, Your mature, experienced outlook here is invaluable. Please don’t go away in spite of the attacks. Without you there would be no one to call out the insane narrative of sites like a voice for men and the mensrights subreddit. I contributed to help you. Please everyone, David is about all we have to get down in the trenches. Please help.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
6 years ago

I’m sure this is in no way a scam to put those tens of thousands of dollars right into Paul’s pocket.

Elizabeth Mancz
Elizabeth Mancz
6 years ago

I have to wonder what kind of a turn out they will have…

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

What? How do they even know that the threats came from feminists? What if they came from PUAs? I thought they hated each other.

Is AVFM going to pay for body guards for Rebecca Watson and Anita Sarkeesian and other feminists who get lots of death threats? If not they to STFU.

Nitram
Nitram
6 years ago

This fucking ridiculous guy. This perfectly illustrates the whole propensity MRAs have for taking absolutely no responsibility for their own welfare and constantly bitching at women to do it for them. Waaaa why haven’t you opened men’s shelters? Why don’t you include hardships for men in your blog! Anything women go through we go through worse, DO something for us!!!
And now, they can’t even organize an invent without trying to get feminists to take responsibility for THEIR problems.

Suzy
Suzy
6 years ago

Does that guy ever stick his head out of his ass even for a second to see the sunlight?

Nahhh…

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
6 years ago

Yup, totally going to go to AVfM and click the “Feminists Only” Paypal button. Not a bit concerned about those guys having my info. Nope. Nosiree.

Shaun Day
Shaun Day
6 years ago

Since I have an extremely generous nature, I have scoured the recesses of my purse and have found an Australian nickel, an unsealed tampon, and some lint. Where do I make my contribution? They can have everything except the nickel.

*reads magnesium’s comment*
*dies*

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

Sure, dude. I’m sure feminists will pay your damn security costs right about the time I make a six-figure book deal.

This post seems especially apropos considering hubby’s recently Pride Parade trainwreck. (Long story short, basically he had to march the whole fucking parade route behind a homophobic church who lied to get into the parade, and who the parade organizers refused to remove because Reasons.)

kittehserf
6 years ago

“Scam” was my first thought on this, yeah. At the very least, Pauly pretending the probable lack of attendance (or cancellation of an event that was never going to happen) will be due to the death threats.

katz
6 years ago

Maybe he’s figuring out that it’s going to be a trainwreck and he’s trying to come up with a plausible reason to cancel it.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Probably realized that registration is so low that it’s going to be a giant embarrassment, again.

Shaun Day
Shaun Day
6 years ago

OT, but I performed my act of misandry today. Random dude sent me an unsolicited dick pic with the message “want this”, with no punctuation. I regretfully informed him that I couldn’t help because I don’t have one of those. He resent with the message “do u want this?!?” So I told him *why* his dick pic was less erotic than a plate of liver, suggested better framing, a less cluttered background, and something that indicates possible fun sexy naked times and, for fuck sake, to only send them when they are requested. And then sent him a link to “Critique your dick pic”. I am way too kind.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Shaun – “Random dude sent me an unsolicited dick pic with the message “want this”, with no punctuation. I regretfully informed him that I couldn’t help because I don’t have one of those.”

::dies::

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
6 years ago

They love to harp on the “If not all feminists are like that, then prove it!” line because it lets them pretend to their base that feminists are on their heels and don’t see through the tactic. It’s entirely about reassuring MRAs that Feminists Really Are Bad: if feminists didn’t see through Paul “freaking begging” Elam’s cheap rhetoric to his raw misogyny, he wouldn’t bother doing it, because he would have his “proof” all the time.

gillyrosebee
6 years ago

And let’s not forget that AVfM is also the site that featured a video of child being sexually assaulted. Did they contact the police to see to it that the boy in question got help and the perpetrator was brought to justice? Did they try to find out the bus company and call them out as not having protected minors in their care? Nope. They had a wank about how terrible women are and how it’s feminism’s fault, and (true to their usual form) they did it explicitly at the expense of a real, actual boy who needed someone to stand up for him.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: Shaun Day

*SNORT*

I’m a freakin’ gay man, and I’ve always been incredibly unimpressed with dick pics. It’s like, congratulations, you have a penis. This is not uncommon. I have one of my own. I can get silicone ones too, in many different colors and sizes. Your penis is not that remarkable.

gillyrosebee
6 years ago

Seconding the suggestion they are looking for ‘plausible deniablity’ for cancelling. CAFE just had to shut down their “Equality Day” concert when folk brought up the true nature of their organization to the many performers who were scheduled to play.

It won’t last, but the scrotosphere dudes are getting their fondest wish crammed down their throats. People are paying attention to them. Not to the causes they claim to represent, mind you, but to them and the logical extension of their ideology. And people are backing away slowly (and, in some cases, not so slowly) from that mess.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
6 years ago

I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Paul were making up death threats, or if the threats were coming from his own disgruntled associates. I mean, I take him at his word, but I still wouldn’t be surprised. You KNOW that guy makes enemies a lot.

Lids
6 years ago

All I can say on the topic of dick pics is that you shouldn’t send me a pic of your dick because I will laugh at it and then tell you to fuck off.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
6 years ago

@Shaun Day – You are awesome. That is all.

Judas Peckerwood
Judas Peckerwood
6 years ago

Will do, Paul — check’s in the mail.

gillyrosebee
6 years ago

When folks send me dick pix, I prefer to send back pictures of Dick van Dyke. I tended to prefer him as Bert from Mary Poppins, but I now have a copy of the Vine video of him dancing to replace it for the next time!

Shaun Day
Shaun Day
6 years ago

LBT, lol. This is true. I mean I like them and all, and I do enjoy seeing them, but it has to be by mutual agreement and it should be erotic. It was just a log sticking out of the tall grass. That’s not pretty (and they can be, they really can). Honestly, if you’re going to go through the effort of taking a dick pic, make it a good one. You’re supposed to be proud of it. Show me the proud, but only with my consent.

Shaun Day
Shaun Day
6 years ago

Everyone else, thanks for enabling the misandry. It means a lot to me.

Kim
Kim
6 years ago

If a guy on a dating site sent me a photo of Dick van Dyke and called it a Dick Pic I’d think it was really funny and would increase my likelyhood of talking to him.

@Nitram
bitching? uh… no.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: Shaun Day

It was just a log sticking out of the tall grass.

THERE BE POKEMON IN THAT THAR TALL GRASS.

But yeah, I know what you mean. I have actually seen some people take photos in such a way that they could make a freakin’ eggplant look erotic. But most of those dick pics are about as erotic as a Pokemon cartoon. At least TRY a little, dude. Your dick alone is not so fucking magical I will want to suck it on sight.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Elam has no shame when it comes to begging for money.

Nthing the thought that he’s looking for a reason to bail, because he can’t honestly think that feminists would give him a thin dime.

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
6 years ago

A fine fellow with the user name “outdoors” posted this today in a Canadian newspaper’s comment section:

So…to all of the feminist’s,white knight’s and anyone else that thinks men and their issue’s should just shut-up and take your petty insult’s and shaming language.
Which one’s of you have uttered the death threats(terrorism) against the men’s conference in Detroit and why does it bother you so much that someone is finally taking men’s issues into concern and is willing to take action?

Of course this elicted a slew of public confessions.

This reminds me of AVFM’s endless demands that feminists donate money to an award leading to the arrest of Danielle D’entremont’s attacker.

gillyrosebee:

Seconding the suggestion they are looking for ‘plausible deniablity’ for cancelling. CAFE just had to shut down their “Equality Day” concert when folk brought up the true nature of their organization to the many performers who were scheduled to play.

Oh really! This made my day. 😀

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
6 years ago

Please excuse the numerous typos. Sheesh.

Shaun Day
Shaun Day
6 years ago

LBT, don’t you know that STANDARDS ARE MISANDRY!

*evil laugh*

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: Shaun Day

*snort* Man, my hubby’s cock was so great, I actually grew to ADORE it. (Pretty good, with my history.) It’d have to be something really fucking special, a nigh MICHELANGELO of cocks, for me to be impressed.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

When folks send me dick pix, I prefer to send back pictures of Dick van Dyke. I tended to prefer him as Bert from Mary Poppins, but I now have a copy of the Vine video of him dancing to replace it for the next time!

This is everything! 😀

Lady Mondegreen
6 years ago

Has anyone actually called the hotel in question to ask whether or not they’ve actually gotten any threats? ‘Cause it’s not all that difficult to get hold of hotel stationary.

Lady Mondegreen
6 years ago

I love Dick van Dyke. SEND ME DICK PICS.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

If you REALLY wanted to be evil, you could send photos of Richard Nixon. Tricky Dick and all…

Shaun Day
Shaun Day
6 years ago

LBT, for me it’s not just about the cock, it’s about the presentation. I mean I have seen some impressive cocks, but if I had seen them presented this way they would not have turned me on. Present your cock as desirable. If you don’t think your cock is erotic, it won’t be.

Shaun Day
Shaun Day
6 years ago

Also loving the discussion of Richard Pics. <3

contrapangloss
6 years ago

I know a couple older Richards, who still go by Dick.

My state also has a little inn, that’s about halfway between Fairbanks and Nenana named ‘Skinny Dicks Half-way Inn’

They make really good burgers.

gillyrosebee
6 years ago

How about dick vids?

hippodameia8527
hippodameia8527
6 years ago

Also nthing the idea that this is Elam’s way of backing out of the “conference.”

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: Shaun Day

LBT, for me it’s not just about the cock, it’s about the presentation.

This is making me think of a cock ornamentally arranged with flowers and fruit in a bowl, ala classic still life paintings. Or carefully garnished with pickled ginger, like sushi.

RE: contrapangloss

They make really good burgers.

Of course Skinny Dicks Half-way Inn would do their buns right. Of COURSE.

RE: Dick Van Dyke

I have to know, is he as nice as he’s always appeared? Because I have to say, every time I’ve seen Dick Van Dyke, at whatever age, he’s always seemed to give off this aura of wholesome decency. And cool dancing.

Shaun Day
Shaun Day
6 years ago

For $15.00 I would sell out my grandfather as the person making threats. He might sift a little in his urn, but fifteen bucks is fifteen bucks.

cloudiah
6 years ago

David, I so want you to offer a $14.72 reward to catch the culprits! I would actually chip in another $0.28 to make it an even $15. XD

I’m also finding it very amusing that Paul Elam thinks he can tell feminists what to do.

Hey, we just had a 3.8 earthquake. The cats looked at me like I caused it. And then they went back to sleep.

gillyrosebee
6 years ago

@LBT, and the scrunchies. Don’t forget about scrunchies.

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