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Note to clueless misogynistic dating coaches: Vogue magazine does not run handjob how-to's as cover stories

Note: The real world is not a romance comic.
Note: The real world is not a romance comic.

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After all of the depressing stuff from recent days, here’s something a little lighter: A heartwarming story of misogynist gullibility, and yet another reminder that the evil feminazi double standards that the manospherians think they’re fighting exist only in their own fevered imaginations.

So last night, as a result of a rather nasty contretemps in the comments here, I was going through some old comments, and I discovered that one recently banned troll has a little blog of his own. Curious, I went and checked it out, and discovered that the obnoxious fellow, one “Ronnie Libra,” fancies himself a “dating coach.” And he’d just posted a rant defending pickup artists from accusations of being the creepy, manipulative predators that we know a lot of them are.

Here was his defense:

Pickup Artists are widely considered people who use tactics and techniques to try and “manipulate” members of the opposite sex into bed.  Predatory, manipulative, rape culture, creepy…

Where else have we seen that before?

Popular Women’s Magazines perhaps?

As proof of this matriarchal manipulation, he posted the covers of three women’s magazines, adorned with pictures of sexy celebs and covered with headlines promising women guidance on how best to enslave men with their sexy sexiness.

But let’s look at some of these Mainstream Articles in these Popular women’s magazines.

Article Titles like:

Get Men to do your bidding without being a Nag

Get in his head and in his bed!

Christina Hendricks:  How she chased her man and got him!

How to disappear without a trace.

The Sex position that will Put a Ring on your Finger.

Football and poker will improve your relationship.  Find out how!

And a whole host of ways to manipulate men through sex.

It took me literally 3 minutes to pull of 3 random women’s magazine covers without even skimming for what the content of the covers would be. …

Am I complaining?  Am I saying there’s something wrong with all of this?  NOPE!  As a matter of fact, I am very far from the hypocritical crowd out there spouting out how men learning tactics and techniques or even just improving their lives inside and out is somehow creepy, misogynistic, women hating, rape culture.  If that were the case than women have been rapey, men hating, creepsters since before I was born.

No.  Men and women trying to become more attractive to the opposite sex is AWESOME! … Women and Men are playing the same game, and the fact is, the WOMEN have been making the rules for a long time. …

[T]his double standard that what is great for women to do is evil for men to do just needs to be put to rest.

There’s just one teensy problem with Ronnie’s argument: two of the three magazine covers that Ronnie used to prove his point were obvious, ridiculous fakes. Here they are:

if_men_wrote_womens_magazines_00womens-magazines-instyle

 

Yep. Apparently Ronnie thinks that Vogue runs cover stories on “The Lost Art of the Handjob,” and that InStyle is obsessed with telling women not to cut their hair because guys like women’s hair long.

You may notice that in addition to being festooned with headlines that sound like they were written not by sneaky sexually manipulative women but rather by a committee of horny dudes, these covers also feature a url on them: coolmaterial.com.

Using the sophisticated internet research technique of typing this url into my browser and, upon reaching the site in question, typing the words “women’s magazines” into the search box, I discovered that these covers were taken from a couple of “humor” features imagining what women’s magazines would look like … if they were written by men.

The basic joke behind them all: how can we convince these silly women to bend over backwards and forwards to please men sexually, while making them think they’re empowering themselves? Hell, there’s even a freaking sandwich joke on that fake InStyle cover.

And seriously, Ronnie, the NAME OF THE IMAGE FILE for the ScarJo cover, the image you posted on your blog and that I’ve reposted here, is if_men_wrote_womens_magazines_00.jpg. How did that not tip you off?

It’s true that women’s magazines do offer sex tips– shocking, I know — and, heck, I even found a handjob how-to in Vogue’s downmarket rival Glamour. But how is that in any way comparable to the manipulative and pedatory techniques favored by so many PUAs? Offering advice on how to please your partner in bed is about as innocuous as providing recipes for delicious food that people will enjoy eating. It’s nothing like the creepy gaslighting and routine boundary-violation regularly recommended by PUAs. Dread Game, anyone?

It’s also true that a couple of the headlines that Ronnie quotes are taken from the one real cover he posted, that of the May 2012 issue of the UK edition of Cosmopolitan. But tellingly, one of these quotes is actually a misquote. Cosmo wasn’t offering sneaky women advice on “how to disappear without a trace” – presumably with a briefcase full of pilfered cash and a vial of some poor man’s sperm. The actual headline?

Cosmo investigates: How can a woman disappear without a trace?

Yes, that’s right: it was an investigative report about a woman’s disappearance. I couldn’t find the piece itself on the Cosmopolitan UK website, which only puts limited stuff from its print editions online, though I found a more recent news story there about a missing woman who has been in the news a good deal in the UK. The American edition of Cosmo has also run investigative reports on missing women.

I’m not quite sure how Ronnie managed to get the headline so wrong. It’s written in big letters on the cover. Maybe he was distracted by cover girl Christina Hendricks’ cleavage? But it’s a revealing little slip nonetheless, transforming a story about a woman missing and possibly murdered into how-to guide to female deception.

More proof that these guys see just what they want to see – even if what they’re seeing is a joke, or entirely a product of their own imagination

Note to Ronnie: If you’d like to defend yourself here. I’ll unban your and let your comments through, just so long as they stay withing my comment guidelines.

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Unimaginative
Unimaginative
6 years ago

I think cock scrunchies are going to have to go into the welcome basket.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

I think we should make up our own magazine here on Manboobz. we’ll call it the Miss Andry Issue where you could learn how to be a misandrist, have kitty pictures, comics and how to make your very own Scented effin Candles!!! Oh and also recipes on how to make Bon bons too.

neuroticbeagle
6 years ago

@fruitloopsie

This picture would be perfect for the magazine:

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/14/d2/58/14d2589517f0266f9b64c2668e673c5e.jpg

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
6 years ago

I like this magazine idea. We could have articles like “What even are bonbons? Commenters from around the world weigh in” and “top ten most misandric outfits”, and the centerfold would be a different commenter’s pet each month.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Neuroticbeagle

Puuurfect! Everything is coming together. ::Evil Grin::

http://www.alice-in-wonderland.net/alicepic/disney-movie/cheshire-cat-9.jpg

Even though I’m allergic to cats, they are no match for the power of the kitties for I will always love them and desire to be around them.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

emilygoddess
Great! Everyone! More ideas!

kittehserf
6 years ago

Home Decor: are matching towels as misandric as you think?

Shiraz
Shiraz
6 years ago

“And only 2 of you made it over to the comments section of my blog to discuss, so.. The 2 of you who made it,”

The rest of us decided you didn’t deserve the hits, or traffic.

“I took the time to discuss the topic fairly and equitably. But as long as you have your troll festival over here,”

We’re regulars, Ronnie. You’re the troll “here.” Get how that works?

“…using each other to give you the confidence none of you would have on your own to call me names, that I think are more entertaining than anything else, what do I care? Troll away.”

Your real name is Ronnie fucking Libra? For serious?

“Give each other that ego boost. Write a comments section novel about me, some more, why don’t you. Create me into this farcical Anti-Hero of the Mangina blog world. You’re doing good so far. 290′s not bad… Have at it.”

You’re not that interesting, with or without the shitty grammar.

Bye-bye.

Anyone up to drinks later?

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Ronnie, did those two comments bring your total to five for that sharticle? You’re not exactly swimming in traffic, you know.

Ronnie’s too dumb to be embarrassed.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Shoraz: As a Libra, I really wish Ronnie would change his name. #NotallLibras

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

^Shiraz. Sorry for the typo. I will be gud typist one day.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
6 years ago

Scented candles: which scents are best for repelling men?

10 hot new styles for your armpit hair!

“I literally don’t need men for anything”: lesbians tell all!

neuroticbeagle
6 years ago

For the magazine:

the most misandric uses for scrunchies

tips on how to be the best furrinati servant

How to be a whore: tips from penguins

Hard chairs and how to make men sit in them

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Bon-bons For Any Occassion

Misandry–It’s Not Just For Breakfast!

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

(and Jolly Rancher vodka makes an interesting Cosmopolitan).

Jolly Rancher Sour Apple-tinis are a thing that I could make?
*heavy breathing*

kittehserf
6 years ago

As a Libra, I really wish Ronnie would change his name. #NotallLibras

As a Libra’s spouse, ditto!

….

Leg Hair Conditioner: we test the five most popular brands

Furrinati Overlords share their misandry secrets

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Kitteh, that’s right, Mr. K. and I share a birthday.

kittehserf
6 years ago

I just remembered that, hellkell! 🙂

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

OMGG (oh my goodness girls) these are great! Can someone please help me to create artwork for the magazine!? Finally my dream to be a writer and illustrator are finally coming true ::cries:: thanks guys.

http://youtu.be/barWV7RWkq0

More ideas:

Cartoon/anime girls are misandry because they’re not real

Romance novels are porn

Creep-shaming 101 how to spot a creep!

The Adventures of Grumpy cat and the Friendzoner (if you don’t know who they are then use google)

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
6 years ago

*shakes fist* no magazine! Last time we had this convo it went from Manboobz: The Magazining to Feminist Borg. Which you can find by clicking my nym, and you are all welcome to write for! Use the contact form and I’ll get you added!

Fade
6 years ago

wow……….. ronnies still at it?

The only interesting comments buried in here are the couple where someone says that I make some pretty good points.

“The only interesting comments here are the ones that stroke my ego”

cloudiah
6 years ago

Argenti’s correct! All this magazine energy, can we channel it into Feminist Borg?

Puddleglum
6 years ago

Regarding beet mead, I’ve done some Googling

I’ve asked my friend if zie will share zir recipe.

kittehserf
6 years ago

I’m afraid my magazine energy only runs to the occasional silly headline.

GG
GG
6 years ago

Modern PickUp isn’t that manipulative anymore. Get over it, mangina.

marinerachel
marinerachel
6 years ago

Brilliant contribution.

And no, techniques like negging aren’t manipulative at all!

contrapangloss
6 years ago

Because insulting a man be implying he’s like a woman’s reproductive canal is totally not misogynistic!

You can totally trust me about PUA.

Yeah, riiiiiiight. Sure.

titianblue
titianblue
6 years ago

Oh, the wit, the artistic use of language, the elegance of GG’s reort. Surely, we have another Oscar Wilde on our hands. /sarcasm

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

What PUAs think they’re like:

What they’re really like:

fromafar2013
6 years ago

“Modern PickUp isn’t that manipulative anymore.”

Let’s read that again.

“Modern PickUp isn’t THAT manipulative ANYMORE.”

So it is manipulative, just not quite as manipulative as Ye Olde PUA of Yore.

Hey, GG. You said it, not us.

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

This was featured on the Daily Cringe.
This is a PUA being a creep and then getting banned from a mall.
He’s skin crawlingly, patheticly, creepy.

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

That’s “the game” these cretins are selling to young men and teenage boys. This is how PUAs tell men to act toward women.

Seeing how uncomfortable he’s making these women does nothing to dissuade this jerk, because he does not care. That’s what he’s been taught by his “mentors”.

It’s harassment and it’s disgusting.

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

“Modern PickUp isn’t THAT manipulative ANYMORE.”

So it is manipulative, just not quite as manipulative as Ye Olde PUA of Yore.

Yeah, but it isn’t THAT manipulative. SOME manipulation is totally okay, because women aren’t people.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

That video is so hilarious, but also gross because I can’t even count the number of times guys just like that bothered me and/or a friend I was with.

The most pathetic thing is that he struck out every single time and he still thinks he’s smooth. It never occurs to him once that he is using the wrong approach and being creepy.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
6 years ago

Seeing how uncomfortable he’s making these women does nothing to dissuade this jerk, because he does not care. That’s what he’s been taught by his “mentors”.

It’s basically the “shit tests” they claim women put men through. A woman who objects their first wave of bullshit won’t be susceptible to further manipulation.

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