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If anyone was hoping – against their better judgement – that Men’s Rights activists would be inspired by the tragedy in Isla Vista to reconsider any of their beliefs, or even to reflect for a moment on the many striking similarities between passages in Elliot Rodger’s book-length manifesto and comments posted every day by MRAs and others in the manosphere, well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you should not keep that hope alive.
It’s not that they’re not talking about the tragedy. A look through the top 100 posts in the Men’s Rights subreddit, the largest Men’s Rights forum online, reveals that roughly a third of them, including the top stickied post, relate in some way to Elliot Rodger’s rampage and the discussions that have come up online and in the media in its aftermath.
But the message of virtually all of these posts is: “Nothing to see here! Move along!” There are numerous posts expressing outrage that anyone would see any connection between Rodger’s toxic misogyny to the Men’s Rights movement; there are others mocking and attacking the #YesAllWomen hashtag; there’s even one suggesting that Rodger, who wrote about how he longed to watch all the women of the world starve to death in concentration camps, wasn’t actually a misogynist at all.
Take a look. One post, with more than 500 upvotes, complains:
Another post makes a strikingly similar complaint:
One angry MRA asks:
Another wonders:
Sorry to break it to you, fella, but that’s not how defamation suits work. If it were, all of us who call ourselves feminists would be collecting millions of dollars from the Men’s Rights subreddit for all the patently untrue things you guys say about us every day of every week.
Still others make sure that everyone knows that Rodger hated men too – not that this has actually gone unnoticed in the media or in discussions of the tragedy.
And then there’s this fellow, who seems to think that Rodger only hated men, and that his big problem with women was that he loved them too much:
There are, it’s true, two posts that raise the issue of what might be done to prevent tragedies like this from happening in the future. One of them takes on the issue of “virgin shaming.” (Sure, I’m against that, and against slut shaming too. Odd that roughly 100% of the virgin shaming I’ve ever heard in my life has come from MRAs and other non-fans of this blog, even though — sorry to break it to you fellows — I’ve not been a virgin since the early Reagan administration.)
Meanwhile, the other “positive” suggestion — the stickied top post, submitted by one of the forum’s moderators — is pretty transparently intended as a PR move – and an excuse to bash feminists.
Yep, “creep shaming.” That’s the problem! Way to cut through all the bullshit and get to the heart of the matter! The problem isn’t that some men — well, a lot of men — think and act in predatory and entitled ways towards women. The problem is that sometimes when they do, women call them “creeps.”
The problem isn’t that the world’s creepiest and most entitled man just killed 6 innocent people, the problem is “creep shaming.”
After killing his roommates and a friend of theirs, Rodger attempted to get inside a sorority so he could massacre the women inside it. But he couldn’t get anyone to let him in. Probably because, well, whoever was nearest the door thought he looked a bit, well, creepy.
“Creep-shaming” isn’t some insidious form of discrimination against awkward men. It’s a defense mechanism that women develop to protect them against predatory men. And in the case of the Isla Vista murders, I’m guessing that the willingness of women to go with their gut sense that Rodger was a creep literally saved lives.
But the mods of the Men’s Rights subreddit would rather moan about “creep shaming.” They would prefer that women lower their defenses against men like Elliot Rodger — because it hurts their feelings to sometimes get called a “creep.”
Guys, this is why people think Elliot Rodger was an MRA.
EDIT: I added more to the conclusion because I had more to say about creep shaming.
Creep shaming! Dem evil wimminz
With the exception of “creep shaming,” that list of “male problems” sounds an awful lot like a list of “human problems” that are sadly common to all genders.
I know that many men have gender-specific complications in dealing with those problems. And I’m deeply sympathetic (I’ve seen a man’s unimaginable suffering magnified by his feeling “unmanly” because sometimes he cried in pain.) Hey, ya know–just spitballin’ here, but–maybe if we dismantle toxic macho notions of men as tough lone-wolf manly men, it would be easier for many guys to admit problems and seek help and support?
I just added a bit more to the end about creep shaming; I realized I hadn’t fully worked out just why that infuriated me so much. And now I have!
Mentions of bullying/virgin-shaming (from others at least) were few and far between in Rodger’s “manifesto.” Those seemed to come mainly from the forums he posted on.
“Defamation suit”
LOL @ those entitled douchebags.
I was too slow to read the original ending, but I like the new ending a lot.
Lady Mondegreen, ( sorry I don’t know how to use a quote yet)
you are forgetting that part of the MRA train of thought is that women are not human beings, they are beasts who oppress men with their butts.
So, by wanting my boundaries respected I’m committing a human rights violation against men? MRA logic is simply unassailable!
Creep-shaming is worse than killing and slut-shaming you guys. (sarcasm)
2pm and I’ve already oppressed eight men with my beast-butt. Praise be!
That one guy who was all, “Yes, his problem was putting women on a pedestal…”
Well obviously, that’s why Rodger wrote how he’d like to see women put in concentration camps and starved — when they’re not being bred like cows a la Handmaid’s Tale. Pfft.
These guys are really scary.
Creep shaming, truly the human rights issue of our time.
I am having a tough time wrapping my head around “creep shaming”.
Are they saying that women who call men “creeps” should be shamed? Or that women shouldn’t shame creepy guys like Rodger because they’re creepy? Surely they’re not saying that creepy guys need love too … are they? Nah, couldn’t be. Could it? Are they saying that women should just buck it up and go out with the creepy guy?
Of course, in the MRA world, how could you distinguish creep from non-creep? Because — well — there it is. They’re all creepy. Which is why Rodger “belongs” to them as much as he belongs to the mentally disturbed or the shy loner virgin or any other category you want to place him in.
Hey guys. Don’t go spree shooting people because you’re creepy, OK? People tend to not like it, and last I checked, just about 100% of creepy misogynist spree shooters do not get to go out with the hot chicks. Mainly ‘cuz they’re dead.
Pretty much.
“Why am I being compared to a mentally ill, narcissistic, racist, misogynist, sociopathic serial killer?”
Could it have something to do with being part of a narcissistic, racist, misogynist movement? Have you read any of the other comments? Did that give you any ideas?
(Posts regularly on Stormfront) “Why am I being compared to violent racists?”
*headdesk*
Gotta love the assumption that maleness is somehow inherent to all men, as well as the idea that acting creepy then being called a creep is bad. It’s like this idiots wear kaleidoscope blinders
Kevin, good egg!
However, unless we hear of a diagnoses of a pathological disorder, can you keep away from mentally disturbed.
People with what was formerly known as Aspergers aren’t mentally disturbed. They could be, if they had a separate, more severe condition. Aspergers by itself does not mentally disturbed make.
Shiraz,
Right?
Just because you’d like to own a woman or two of your very own, does not mean you put women on pedestals. Thinking that warped should be painful.
As for “creep shaming”, it’s another ass-backward projection. “People calling out racism are the real racists!!1!eleven!!”
“People calling out homophobia are oppressing and unfairly “labeling” straight bigots who hate teh gay!!11!”
“Women who point out men’s creepy behavior around them and how uncomfortable it makes them feel are the real sexists!!!1 Argle Bargle!!!eleventy”
SSDD
Just remembering why I love Yo, Is This Racist?
<3
<3
Cloudiah,
Thanks for the link. That is awesome!
bunnybunny, well, he did mention some actual bullying in the manifesto, though oddly he decided to hate the girlfriends of the bullies more than the bullies themselves.
As for virgin-shaming, well, he’s the only one obsessed with his virginity. He talks about it constantly in his manifesto/memoir, and shames himself for it.
In the entire document, the only examples of “virgin shaming” from others I found all took place when he was in college.
1) He noticed guys on WoW making fun of virgins.
2) One set of roommates made fun of him for beng a virgin after he brought it up and had a fit when they said they weren’t
3) Another set of roommates also made fun of him. They actually brought it up.
I was a virgin when I started college. I don’t remember any “virgin shaming.”
bunnybunny, just to be clear, I was just disagreeing with you slightly on the bullying thing, and agreeing with you on the virgin shaming thing.
It’s Bro culture that shames male virgins and promotes toxic masculinity. That’s also the culture that mocks “crazy cat ladies” aka happily single women. That’s also where the slut shaming and “mangina” and “f*g” name calling is coming from. The idea that it is hip and cool to be a violence loving, homophobic, transphobic, misogynist douche bucket is not coming from feminists. It does not originate from women or our supposed, evopsych BS, attractions. It is men who are policing the masculinity of other men.
Right. I think I was struck by the dissonance between how others appeared to treat him and his feelings about himself. I am not trying to minimize the presence or effects of bullying although I may have mistakenly come off that way. What I meant to convey is that many of his interactions with people seemed dominated by his own projections, even from a very young age. And that I was surprised by some of the feelings of anger and alienation that he internalized from these encounters.
a thousand thanks for your intelligence, wit, and lazer beam eyes aimed at the facts. it makes a fem heart feel good reading your blog!