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Pickup artists argue that "Game" is the solution to Elliot Rodger-style rampages. Here’s why they’re wrong.

From Elliot Rodger's Google+ Profile
From Elliot Rodger’s Google+ Profile

Pickup artists, classy fellows that they are, are using Elliot Rodger’s killing rampage as a marketing ploy. In the comments to one of Rodger’s videos on YouTube, a company called Strategic Dating Coach offered their solution to prevent similar shootings in the future: send disturbed young men who can’t get dates to one of their coaching sessions!

THIS is why we do what we do. TO PREVENT THIS SHIT!!! Could couldn't experience it because he didn't learn to attract women. He should have gone to our website and got our personal dating coaching or purchased one of our products. IF ANYONE NEEDS HELP, CONTACT US! Don’t do anything stupid.

While this response to Rodger’s mass killing is uniquely crass, the argument that “Game saves lives” is hardly new. To PUAs like Heartiste and Roosh Valizadeh it’s practically an article of faith.

In the wake of George Sodini’s murderous shooting spree in a Pennsylvania gym in 2009, Heartiste (then known as Roissy) wrote

If Sodini had learned game he would have been able to find another woman and gotten laid after his ex dumped him. He wouldn’t have spent the next 20 years steeped in bile and weighed down by his Sisyphian blue balls, dreaming of vengeance. Game could have saved the lives of the women Sodini killed.

The fact that Sodini had in fact imbibed in the alleged wisdom of pickup artistry, going so far as attending a pricey seminar from old-school pickup guru R. Don Steele, a self-proclaimed expert on dating young women, didn’t lead any in the pickup community to reconsider this position.

Nor has it this time. It is clear that Elliot Rodger was steeped in “red pill” thinking about women. And while he wasn’t himself a PUA, he was certainly aware of the basics of “Game.” Indeed, he subscribed to a number of PUA channels on YouTube and was a regular commenter on PUAhate, a sleazy forum devoted to criticizing “game,” not because it is manipulative and misogynistic but because it doesn’t work.

On the Roosh V forum earlier today, Roosh acknowledged that Rodger knew at least a little about “red pill” ideology – noting that Rodger referred to himself as an”alpha” – but still went ahead and argued that Game was the solution to massacres like this:

He is self-delusional and massively entitled, but exposing him to game may have saved lives.

In a followup comment, Roosh expressed his concerns for the real victims of this tragedy – Pickup artists:

I’m trying to think of ways our enemies will come after us because of this, but if anything, we’re the solution to this sort of murder rampage. This is the society that progressives wanted, where women are fully able to choose the top 10% of alpha males while shaming masculinity, leaving beta males with modest resources in the dust. Of course they will simply push a ban on guns, but this wholly neglects the cause. Seven people died because this guy couldn’t get laid … .

Other commenters were quick to agree. According to someone known as Moma,

Roosh has a very valid point. This will continue to replay over and over again. As human beings, our wiring is very basic yet primal. …

When have you last heard of a porn star shooting up a place? How many have emptied their balls in a hot lizard and then felt the urge to go and smoke 50 strangers?

According to Samseau, the problem wasn’t that Rodger hadn’t heard the Game Gospel; the problem was that he had rejected his salvation:

He knew about Game. If he had an account on PUAHATE then he knew about game. He was just a denialist. There was no helping this dude.

Roosh seconded this bit of wisdom, seeing it as clear evidence that “game denialism kills.”

Michelin, for his part, hoped that PUAs would be able to use the massacre as a publicity bonanza and a great “told you so” to all the haters.

One should write a mainstream article about this case. The argument that game could have saved lives can be an eye-opener and a smash in the face to haters of game.

Tuthmosis, the man best known for a Return of Kings post on the “5 Reasons to Date a Girl With An Eating Disorder,” reported his joy that PUAhate was getting bad press:

Seeing your enemies fall is a delicious treat you only get to taste a few times in your life. I’m savoring this delicacy with a cup of freshly brewed coffee. It’s a shame real people had to lose their lives, but I can’t help but think this will discredit a horrible website, PUAHate–and a way of thinking–that could have harmed even more men and innocent people. Beta losers will never go away, but this will wake up a few men and, more importantly, scare others.

Zelcorpion blamed “girls” and MGTOWers for giving Rodgers bad dating advice:

I bet a few girls told him that he only needs to be himself, be nice, be a gentleman, have a nice car, looks etc. – only to realize that it mattered shit. Instead of learning from the PUA-community he chose to listen to PUAhaters and some of the anti-female comments of the MGTOWs who themselves are often refusing to accept Game or even basic concepts like Alpha/Beta. I think that problem will become way worse, since hypergamy and promiscuity will only increase and most men will be left in the sexual wasteland.

But it took a relative newcomer to the forum by the handle of thedavidgt to raise the obvious logical objection to the Game-for-everybody solution to incel rage:

If every sexless beta in the world took it upon himself to learn game, approach girls, lift, dress well etc, would it not simply feed women’s egos and entitlement? So instead of occasionally getting awkwardly hit on by skinny fat, poor-dressed chumps, the average 7 would then be approached several times a day by extremely high value men. We’ll have a society of men working to improve themselves for women who will get lazier and lazier while at the same time demanding more and more.

In fact, the “Game saves lives” mantra is dead wrong, but not for this reason. First of all, there is no clear evidence that “game,” per se, works, except insofar as it encourages men to pursue large numbers of women and numb them to the pain of rejection. It’s possible that a few of the conversational ploys invented by various PUAs may work better than having no conversational ploys at all. But there are no magic cheat codes to “getting with women.”

There is one more disturbing way in which “game” may increase “success” with women for unscrupulous men: many of the standard techniques of “game”– invading a woman’s personal space, touching her repeatedly, trying to “isolate” her from her friends – may serve as “tests” to find women who are less likely to resist violations of their boundaries. In this way, “game” may serve as a quite effective enabler of date rape. Indeed Roosh himself has admitted to raping a date too drunk to consent.

So how much of a solution is training a guy who is already filled with a toxic mixture of entitlement and self-loathing (yes, these strange bedfellows do often go together) in some techniques that might help him to tamp down his insecurities enough to manipulate some willing or not-so-willing women into bed?

You might have simply turned a mass killer into a serial rapist, or possibly a serial killer. Ted Bundy was quite the charmer. Somehow this didn’t make him a decent human being.

Even if “game” were the beneficient form of “self-improvement” that some of its proponents like to claim it is, teaching Rodger how to be a better dater would not make him a better person. Would having a girlfriend solve all his problems? Hardly. Relationships require patience and compromise and mutual respect, and Rodger seems to have had none of these qualities. Instead of directing his narcissistic rage at “girls” at large, he would likely have ended up abusing a string of girlfriends.

The problem wasn’t Rodger’s lack of “Game.” It was his lack of humanity.

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titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

But at their best, as social/dating/life coaches, the ‘Pickup artists’ do have something to contribute to humanity.

And the fascists made the trains run on time. Didn’t make them decent human beings.

Oh, and I think you mean “to het cis men” not “to humanity”. PUAs have fuck all to offer women other than examples of abusers to avoid.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

The “something to contribute to society” seems mostly to be teaching very selfish men how to identify, isolate, and bully into compliance potential rape victims as efficiently as possible. If you see that as a positive contribution to society, well, that does say rather a lot about you.

Michelle C Young
10 years ago

@Saurabh – How to Apologize:

1) Admit that you did something wrong, and specify what it was to show your understanding.
2) Express regret that you hurt someone by doing the specific thing that hurt them.
– a) If you honestly don’t know what you did wrong, ask for an explanation, while expressing real regret and understanding that you did actually hurt them. Make sure you find out specifically what you did that was wrong.
3) Promise to analyze your behavior and make whatever changes are needed to ensure you won’t do it again.

Yeah, you didn’t really do that.

Michelle C Young
10 years ago

@Misery – granted, I’m not at my mental peak right now, but I just don’t understand what you’re saying. I’m confused.

I’m going to do “benefit of the doubt,” and just not read your comments on this topic, so I don’t get more upset than I already am.

It’s one thing to be angry about something I understand, but if I know I don’t understand it, there’s the possibility that it wasn’t meant to be offensive, so I’m going to be optimistic and think that. I like being optimistic.

But if you explain yourself later, I’ll have skipped it, so don’t be surprised that I don’t respond. Maybe we’ll have better luck on another thread?

mildlymagnificent
10 years ago

Someone gets it. Jessica Valenti has a reasonable piece in The Guardian.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/may/24/elliot-rodgers-california-shooting-mental-health-misogyny

Don’t. Don’t be tempted. Don’t read the comments.

Stevie
Stevie
10 years ago

Buddhaflow

I appreciate that this point may not have occurred to you, but lecturing people on what pain feels like suggests that you haven’t noticed that everyone suffers pain. Furthermore, you appear to have overlooked the fact that those of us with diseases which result in severe physical pain everyday are not thereby miraculously exempted from emotional pain; the PUA you studied does not seem to have turned you into someone capable of empathising with others, or even someone with some idea of what it is actually like to be in severe pain.

In short, you may have got better at fitting in but you are still woefully incapable of seeing other people as human beings who may, shock, horror, know a great deal more than you do about pain…

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

I would like to hereby nominate Buddhaflow for most unintentionally ironic nym. You ain’t no buddha, kid.

Stevie
Stevie
10 years ago

Re the Guardian article: I’m seconding mildlymagnificent; reading the comments thread is really not a good idea.

mildlymagnificent
10 years ago

Let me tell you, to empathize a bit with this psycho, feeling totally rejected by the opposite sex HURTS.

And we’re so glad you told us about this. Seeing as we’re not real people here and none of us have ever been rejected by anyone. Ever. Nosirree bob. Hasn’t happened. Can’t happen.

We’ve never cried into our pillows nor felt lonely and rejected nor suffered a broken heart or a wounded ego nor got angry or frustrated because someone ignored us or turned us down or walked out on us. Not us. Women can’t suffer the way men do. We’re a different species who never feel any such thing.

Ally S
10 years ago

Let me tell you, to empathize a bit with this psycho, feeling totally rejected by the opposite sex HURTS. Like, a deep down physical pain that stabs you day in and day out.

He was never hurt by rejection – he just is an entitled asshole who thinks that it is an “injustice” for women to not be attracted to him.

Also, even if he was hurt by being rejected by some girl, MURDERING 9 FUCKING PEOPLE IS A FUCKING CHOICE, NOT AN UNAVOIDABLE ACT OF DESPAIR. HE WANTED TO KILL PEOPLE AND HE CHOSE TO DO SO.

Go away.

Michelle C Young
10 years ago

@brooked

Fox News ‘expert’ suggests ‘homosexual impulses’ triggered Calif. mass shooting

What the actual cosmopolitan copulating CRAP!?

He said what it was about. He made a video. He wrote 140 miserable pages of wordy-sludge telling EXACTLY what it was about. WHY can’t the newspeople just BELIEVE HIM?!?!?!

***

ARGLEBARGLE!

***Note to any “But I don’t really hate women” misognists out there – THIS IS SARCASM.

I honestly don’t know WHY! What is WRONG with newscasters?

kittehserf
10 years ago

(Yes, I know Eyeballs Do Not Work That Way. Nevertheless.)

They do if you’re Mrs Potato Head!

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

I’m not sure wtf you were expecting us to say, Buddhaflow. Are we supposed to thank you for letting us in in the mass murderer’s POV?

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

Oh yes, indeed, lets all do our best and empathize with the murderous asshole who killed a bunch of people instead of with that murderous assholes victims, just like buddhaflow says. I mean, most of the victims were just women, right, and they don’t count as human beings to be empathized with! /massive sarcasm

And, oh look, surprise, surprise! racnad can’t take “no, go away,” for an answer!

Fuck off, racnad. You’re not here in good faith and you never were.

Stevie
Stevie
10 years ago

Viscaria

I think he was trying to tell us that PUA did wonders for him because he might otherwise have gone the kill lots of people route, and thus refute David’s post.

He failed, obviously…

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

Why is this thread attracting so many trolls?

Seriously, why are we having rejection mansplained to us? Misogynist idiots really cannot imagine that we’re human beings and have experienced pain too. Or maybe only manpain is really real.

has it occurs to them that misogyny hurts women? Of course not.

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

Wow, Stevie, you really think so? That’s pretty much the worst thing he could come here to do, if you’re right. Shudder.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

I mean, sure, women were murdered, but a man was sad because women didn’t want to touch his penis, and that’s far more traumatic and worthy of sympathy.

Stevie
Stevie
10 years ago

Weirwoodtreehugger

Well, the obvious explanation for the troll infestation is that PUAs like to pretend that they’re decent people really, and when one of them murders seven people and injures many more the whole ‘we’re decent people’ thing looks a tad implausible.

What baffles me is the stuff about ‘homosexual impulses’…

Michelle C Young
10 years ago

@marie

@Ken L

I am arguing nothing. I am simple saying that Occam’s Razor’s does not work in this case and that it is not just misogyny that cause these guys to kill.

really? Then what else besides misogyny?

I’m gonna go with selfishness. People say the love of money is the root of all evil, but I’m still gonna go with selfishness.

People who love money aren’t going to go to evil lengths to get it, or keep it, unless they are selfish enough to think they have the right to do so.

Eliot Rodgers was practically a poster-child for selfishness. From that sprang all his other issues. He hated women because of how they affected HIM. He hated the men who were with women, because he viewed them as taking away women that rightfully belonged to HIM. The women were the objects. It could have just as easily been toys or clothes or money. Except toys and clothes and money were given to him his whole life. Women never were. They never approached him and jumped right into his lap, so he hated them.

Everything this guy wrote, everything he said in his videos – it was all about HIM. He was “magnificent,” “supreme,” “like a god.”

Selfishness. There’s your Occam’s Razor.

hannasoumaki
hannasoumaki
10 years ago

in order to be rejected by someone and truly feel anguish over it, one needs to actually ask someone out first and want to truly get to know them first. if anyone read the entire 140-pg manifesto he wrote (I don’t blame anyone who didn’t) he hardly did that for any girl. he just kept whining and internally cursing every girl who didn’t automatically worship him and kiss his feet when he walked in. at age 18 (or maybe later, he seems to think every single year of his life was eventful enough to be a epic poem) he apparently threw a latte at some girls who didn’t smile back at him. really.

bluecat
bluecat
10 years ago

No need Buddhaflow – we have the goddamm murderer’s godawful own words if we want to look at his point of view. You may not have bothered reading it, but several posts here actually address his POV in some detail.

On the Fox News thing about “homosexual impulses” – in a guy who blamed his murderous rage on young hot blonde women not giving him the sex, love and adoration he felt he deserved – I know Fox is largely sourced from right-wing rectal orifices and well beyond the logic event horizon, but I seem to remember a trope from the 40s and 50s which equated gay men with “women haters” (possibly on the grounds that no man could ever be attracted to another man unless he were recoiling in horror from women, or something of the sort).

Could the Fox “expert” be crawling the wrong way up the 1950s?

Zolnier
Zolnier
10 years ago

The idea of having to “take one for the team” brings to mind certain traditions involving throwing women into rivers as to be brides for their deities. At least the river god is a better date than these people.

racnad
racnad
10 years ago

Regarding Buddaflow:

I don’t want to defend PUA sites as a whole because from what little I’ve seen there is a lot of misogynist garbage on some of them, but not all are that way. But like it or not they are the ONLY people offering help to young men who feel ignored by women.

If Buddhaflow feels his life has been improved by what he read on PUA sites, assuming he’s not bragging about raping women who are you to question that??? And regarding his pain, since when is there a contest see who has experienced the most pain where the loser’s pain is dismissed as not valid?

kittehserf
10 years ago

hannasoumaki – exactly! All the “he was rejected, oh noes, it’s so sad” is so much bullshit.

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