Jakeface — not his real name — is a “Game” blogger, pushing 40, and living in Vietnam. Or visiting there? I haven’t read enough of his blog to be able to figure that out. Given that the name of his blog is “cedonulli,” which seems to be a pretentious reference to the Latin phrase “cedo nulli” ( “I yield to none”), I probably won’t be reading all that much more.
But I do know he likes Vietnam, because he’s the sort of guy who enjoys joking about having sex with “girls … so barely legal … it’s not even funny,” and in Vietnam, he says, he’s not the only one who thinks that 24-year old women are “old as fuck.”
Did I mention he’s pushing 40 himself?
Anyway, not long ago, Jakeface offered readers of his blog his deep thoughts on the subject of age, and why women over the age of 19 are already starting to look elderly to him. [Link is mildly NSFW]
He starts off by noting sadly that even in Vietnam, he still runs into Western women in their 30s who for some strange reason think they aren’t old hags.
even nice western girls are under the influence of western default cultural context. so many ridiculously illogical retarded things leave their mouths, that you can’t help but praise the heavens that you found a cultural base that still has a concept of sustainable biological imperatives.
“i’m 35 now, i’ve got my education and my career, i’m ready to settle down and have babies. why can’t i find a good man?”
it’s so hard to be jake, sometimes.
Jake apparently hasn’t found the shift key on his keyboard yet.
But he can’t blame these Western gals, he says, for being “indoctrinated by western culture,” and “so it would be unfair, short sighted, dumb to make fun of miss-35 for waiting till after the closing bell to place her bid.”
Well, just so long as Miss 35 doesn’t try to get her wrinkled claws into him:
when the same miss-35 makes some eyeballs your way though, and says “i think you’re attractive”, then things get a bit creepier.
Dude, if you’re going to write fiction, at least try to make the dialogue sound vaguely realistic.
Anyway, Jake informs us that this eyeball-making elderly lady of 35 with the world’s least creative pickup line is
like the homeless man wandering into the bentley dealer, making moves to go sit in the new continental gt. a clear case of a completely non-reality based self image. a delusion, painful to those who may have to be part of a conflicting reality. i totally get how 19 year old girls must feel, when the 65 year old liver-spotted shaking hands of the australian tourist reach for her thigh.
Yes, that’s right: when a 35-year-old woman hits on a man her age or even slightly older, she is like a 65-year-old man pawing the thighs of a 19-year-old girl.
That’s PUA math for you.
Actually, that’s the math that PUAs try to sell to their readers, and to themselves.
In reality the math that really counts for Western expats like Jakeface has to do with exploiting their relative wealth in countries where a sufficient number of women are poor enough that putting up with a PUA and his bullshit isn’t the worst option they have. In Vietnam, per capita income is a little over $1,100 (American). Per capita income in the US? About $43,000. That’s the real expat PUA math.
Anyway, Jakeface continues with his rant:
24 is super crazy, crazy old. for a girl.
17. 19. past that, if we’re going to get all about babies, is pretty sketchy.
Yeah, he really said that. Does he even believe it? Who knows? The average age for first births in the United States is 26; in the UK, it’s 30. The risks of pregnancy and giving birth over the age of 35 have been greatly exaggerated, and the vast majority of babies born to women later in life are perfectly healthy. Even if he doesn’t know any women his age who’ve had children,you might think he would have noticed the small army of female celebrities in their forties who’ve been popping out babies without either them or the babies exploding.
But Jakeface isn’t basing his conclusions here on a close reading of the medical literature, or even People magazine. Nope, as he makes clear, his opinions are coming straight from his dick and his “barely legal” obsessed brain.
who cares about what which culture says about it. that’s what my brain, freed from all the media propaganda, is finding attractive. at 24, you can already start to imagine what she’ll look like in 10 years. the outlines are set. the fantasy of youth eternal is already shattered.
24 is old-holy-fuck-you’re-countess-dracula, tell me about how life was in the 16th century.
Again, Jakeface by his own admission is almost 40.
in vietnam, that sort of age awareness seems to be the consensus, still. which makes vietnam ok in my book. it makes me think about applying for vietnamese citizenship. i want to be part of a culture that shares my innate values. a 35 year old vietnamese woman wouldn’t go “heeeey, soooo, how about some babies?” it’d be considered unfathomably rude, suggesting that my value wouldn’t allow me the choice of a 19 year old instead, that my fridge is only good for milk a solid week and a half past its expiration date.
Dude, you only have this “value” in countries where a good portion of the women don’t have good options. And you know it. That’s why you’re in a country with a per capita income that is literally 1/38th that of the United States.
and this isn’t personal, as in if you read this and you’re a 35 year old woman, i’m not making fun. i’m only talking about biological reality, and my own mating preferences. which also, mating preferences of any man with the option, and in his right mind.
Really? George Clooney, formerly the world’s most eligible bachelor, just got engaged to a 36-year-old.
it could still happen. jake might have some asian babies with a few 24 year old girls. there are two current contenders, which i’m hoping to replace with some 17 year olds, before some heat-of-the-moment questionable decisions.
it’s hard to take a step back, when you’re in the pet shop, surrounded by puppies.
For the sake of all that is good in this world, dude, do not breed. Do not saddle some poor Vietnamese teenager with your spawn.
Just out of curiosity – for the rap aficionados here:
Since you have obviously listened to way more rap than I have, and have found lots of good ones, do you think that the media coverage of rap, in general, is biased against it? If so, why do you think that is?
@Marie
Oh, no worries – I just wanted to elaborate on what I said and give everyone some sources for my claim. I didn’t suspect that you thought I was making things up. =P
Please be educational teachypants at me. I like to learn.
Also, I like the “teachypants” phrase. Good one.
RE: Lids
I only recently learned about Angel Haze! When I first heard her, I guess I wasn’t in the right mood for it, but today, she’s really doing it for me. She’s awesome.
I actually really, really like rap, so sometimes I do get irritated by the blatant sexism.
I hear that; I kinda feel the same way about a lot of the 60s music I listened to. And urgh, Eminem. I hear he’s gotten better, but definitely not my thing. Basically, as far as I can tell, the sexism is everywhere; just people don’t notice it as much in white folks’ music.
Polka, screamo, and dubstep are really the only genres I absolutely can’t stand.
Aw, but I love polka! It and mariachi are the only two musical genres that are guaranteed non-frightening after watching/playing something scary.
RE: cassandrakitty
You go wash your mouse hand with soap and think about what you’ve done.
@michelle
Look, I”m not going to try to psychoanalyze your reasons for disliking rap, especially since I know the feeling of some noises bothering/hurting your ears. Some noises just completely shut me down, but (luckily, imo) they aren’t used in music much.
BUT
if you’re going to talk about rap, and how rap is portrayed by the media, you can’t ignore the racism in the way the media is reporting it.
Um, haven’t heard as much rap as some other genres, but yeaaaahhhhh I think the media is biased.
It’s possible that Rammstein’s lyrics might be interesting if I could get past the “holy crap this is so annoying, argh, make it stop, wait has the same song been playing for the past hour or do they all just sound the same?” issue, but nope, there’s no getting past a style that you can’t stand.
I love both metal and industrial, btw. Just not those guys. In fact I seem to be allergic to German rock in general.
@ally
::whew:: just constantly worrying I”m coming off the wrong way :3
@Michelle C. Young
White supremacy influences all aspects of society, and the media is no exception. The media portrays rap as “licentious black people music”. It is portrayed as a monolithic genre comprised of lyrics only about drugs, sex and money. Its portrayal is so negative that rap is frequently cited as the ultimate example of morally corrupt music, despite all of the bigoted music from white people.
I’m going to say it is definitely biased against rap, there is no question there. I’ve listened to much more rock than I have rap (rap became an interest in the last year or 2) and rock is riddled with misogyny. Most genres are. Rap gets a lot of shitty coverage because rap is a primarily Black music genre. Hell, when I hear other white people talk about rap almost all the time they “hate all rap, except Eminem( (or insert other white rap artist, but it’s usually Eminem).” What I’m hearing is “I can only relate to and stand to listen to music if it’s by someone who is white too.”
@cassandrakitty – Re: Avril Levigne and Hello Kitty.
Yuck. Did NOT like that song.
And why did the back-up PEOPLE have to look like dolls? Yuck.
@ Lids
http://www.theonion.com/articles/eminem-terrified-as-daughter-begins-dating-man-rai,32989/
Back before I realized I was aromantic as well as asexual, that being last year, I dated a cis white man (he was bisexual, but he didn’t tell me until we’d be dating for months [i suspected though] and he didn’t tell many people, so he passed as straight because of this). Anyways, I was listening to rap when I was at his house one day (Nicki Minaj, I love her even though she’s said some problematic things) and he told me he didn’t like rap “except Eminem.” Yet another stupid comment he made. He also liked to tell me whitewashing in films wasn’t a problem and that I shouldn’t care about social issues that didn’t involve me and that educating others on social issues was a waste of time because people only pretend to listen. Ugh.
Sadly he was hardly the first (and far from the last) white person I’ve heard make that kind of comment about rap.
Another example of the media’s racist portrayals of rap: Many white people fail to appreciate the deeper meanings behind many rap songs and instead fetishize black subculture. One rap song may be about racism and sexism, but a white person will listen to it and think that they should be heard listening to it because they will come off as a “wise black person”. Meaningful lyrics about the importance of respecting women get turned into material that white people can use to try to sound edgy and wise.
And I contend that this fetishism is fueled by media portrayals of rap, which are produced by white supremacy. Music by white people, by contrast, manages to completely avoid similar media portrayals.
“Actually, I think what gives the genre a bad reputation is many rap artists being black and many people being racist.”
Yet, I was thinking of Eminem, who is white. I think the way major news media report on rap has a lot to do with it, though.
As for hard rock – never was allowed in my house when I was growing up. My only exposure to that genre was having it forced on my by some annoying kids on the bus, singing “Son of a Bitch, Kiss my ASSHOLE! Son of a BITCH!” in my face, and telling me the band who sang that song was just soooooo good. For some reason, those two things combined put me off of even trying hard rock for years. Then, when I did listen to it, for real, I felt the instant headache of that particular style of loud drums and non-melodic chords, and their physical effect on me led me to eschew the entire genre.
There are several genres that I deem “harsh,” for physical reasons, that have nothing whatsoever to do with lyrics, race, or anything other than the fact that my head and ears just can’t stand them.
@cassandrakitty
oh yeah, i remember that onion article. i do hope that eminem has thought about how his lyrics contribute to our culture and what it can mean for his daughters. then again, i’ve met a lot of fathers (even ones of who loved their children) who never considered how misogynistic media would affect their children and the people their children surrounded themselves with.
one exception is my uncle jeremy – he had a daughter 6 years ago and he’s become a lot more aware. he used to make super sexist comments and listen to sexist music and just be a general jerk. now he’s a lot nicer and he’s one of the best dads i’ve ever met. i’m not into hunting and fishing, but he brings his daughter to do those things as well being okay with her more “feminine” interests like dance and dolls. i’ve been pleasantly surprised by how great of a dad he has become.
@Ally, your “full response” link quotes Gaga as saying, “I’m really a lady!” That’s quite different from your quoting her as saying, “I’m not like those gross tr*nnies! I’m a normal woman.”
I can’t find a quote from her coming anywhere close to what you accused her of saying.
If we’re talking about dubstep can I suggest Someone Like Me by Ylvis? It’s a dubstep romance with some consensual violence.
@ivyshoots
even that’s all she said (i don’t know much about her), it’s still really gross. “I’m really a lady” is not really a way to answer rumors that you are a trans woman b/c it implies that trans women aren’t women
@ivyshoots
I misremembered the quote. Honestly, though, the real quote isn’t much better at all as it still blatantly throws us under the bus.
RE: Fade
liked that song. *adds too music bookmarks*
It’s a great song to do artwork to. Especially when you’re me and make jack all so sometimes worry I’m doing art wrong.
RE: dustedeste
FFS, even classical music has a long history of discrimination against women.
YUP.
RE: Michelle C Young
do you think that the media coverage of rap, in general, is biased against it? If so, why do you think that is?
I’m actually going to respond to this by talking about a completely different music genre: swing jazz.
Basically, every complaint that I have seen about rap was made about swing, back in the day. It was chaotic, unwieldly, overly sexual, “not music,” et cetera.
But you don’t hear complaints about swing anymore. And I think part of that is because swing has been hugely overtaken by white folks. All the folks I knew who did lindyhop were white. One of them complained that all the other people in her lindyhop group were also white. A bunch of the swing albums I have (not realizing who the creators were) are actually done by white artists. It’s considered kitschy, and fun, and harmless, while rap is still considered a bugaboo.
Rock and roll was originally a black genre that got taken over by white folks too. Now it too is considered classic and fun, while rap is still a bugaboo. Remember when rock and roll was all daring and chaotic and overly sexual? They don’t say that anymore.
I have heard rap of astonishing lyrical dexterity. It is one of the few musical genres I can think of where your vocabulary and quick-thinking is so immediately obvious. But the only rap I see people considering “respectable” is done by white people — Macklemore, for instance. And I don’t think that’s a coincidence.
Speaking of rap, I love this song:
I mean, I can tell you some about life in the 16th century, though, if you want. Mostly about the fashions of the day in France and Italy. Maybe that would drive them off? Combination of feeeeemale fripperies and also apparently being a deathless vampire person or whatever?
dustydeste – can I play too? The 17th century’s more my thing than the 16th, but y’know, first thing I thought (apart from wanting to hurl) with this PoS is that he knows jack shit about history, as well as everything else. That “everyone died young” trope is another that needs to die in a fire.
I also immediately thought of Anne of Austria – after four miscarriages over twenty years, she gave birth to her first child just before her 37th birthday, and her second two years later. Yeah, so old to be having children back in Ye Olde Days.
Also my grandmother bore my mother, last of ten, at 45. No special healthcare or good conditions for a plumber’s wife in country Australia during the Depression, either.
I wonder why this jackass thinks it’s just old Australian sex predators who are repellent?
Poop, that first para should have been blockquoted.
@Ally S: “Also, I find it amusing how so many white folks see rap as the ultimate example of racist* and sexist when so much music from white people is full of bigotry. Just look at Robin Thicke, who wrote that song everyone hates, and Lady Gaga, who defended herself of accusations of being a trans woman by saying “I’m not like those gross tr*nnies! I’m a normal woman.”
”
OK, that made me laugh. Lady Gaga has been held up as some sort of LGBT hero, and she said THAT? Ooooookaaaaaay.
The only song by Robin Thicke I ever heard was “blurred lines.” It sounds happy and bouncy, and fun, for about 30 seconds, and after that, it is just musically BORING, and got on my nerves. Add bad lyrics, and you have a song that people are rightly upset about. But what else has he done? Isn’t he just famous for being a famous person’s son, or something?
Yeah, I’ve led a musically sheltered life, I suppose. Pop music, on the radio, doesn’t get much OVERT sexism, because otherwise, everything would be bleeped out. And if it’s not on the radio, I probably haven’t heard it. That’s for Pop. Then there’s classical, and the golden-oldies, which I grew up hearing, as my parents had quite a collection. There again, in the case of songs with lyrics (as opposed to instrumental), if it would need bleeping on the radio, I generally did not hear it.
I did, however, hear news reports and/or editorials about rap lyrics. For some reason, the news seemed to focus on rap, rather than heavy metal or hard rock. That may very well be because of racism amongst the people reporting it. I hadn’t really ever considered that, to be honest.
What is dubstep? I take it that it does not have anything to do with American swing or the two-step?
I do like polka music, in limited quantities. It’s fun to dance the polka.
@Ally
I’m pretty sure your memory is serving your right, cuz she did use the slur t**ny, just not in the article you linked to.
the link is here, tw for anti trans slurs, obviously.