Jakeface — not his real name — is a “Game” blogger, pushing 40, and living in Vietnam. Or visiting there? I haven’t read enough of his blog to be able to figure that out. Given that the name of his blog is “cedonulli,” which seems to be a pretentious reference to the Latin phrase “cedo nulli” ( “I yield to none”), I probably won’t be reading all that much more.
But I do know he likes Vietnam, because he’s the sort of guy who enjoys joking about having sex with “girls … so barely legal … it’s not even funny,” and in Vietnam, he says, he’s not the only one who thinks that 24-year old women are “old as fuck.”
Did I mention he’s pushing 40 himself?
Anyway, not long ago, Jakeface offered readers of his blog his deep thoughts on the subject of age, and why women over the age of 19 are already starting to look elderly to him. [Link is mildly NSFW]
He starts off by noting sadly that even in Vietnam, he still runs into Western women in their 30s who for some strange reason think they aren’t old hags.
even nice western girls are under the influence of western default cultural context. so many ridiculously illogical retarded things leave their mouths, that you can’t help but praise the heavens that you found a cultural base that still has a concept of sustainable biological imperatives.
“i’m 35 now, i’ve got my education and my career, i’m ready to settle down and have babies. why can’t i find a good man?”
it’s so hard to be jake, sometimes.
Jake apparently hasn’t found the shift key on his keyboard yet.
But he can’t blame these Western gals, he says, for being “indoctrinated by western culture,” and “so it would be unfair, short sighted, dumb to make fun of miss-35 for waiting till after the closing bell to place her bid.”
Well, just so long as Miss 35 doesn’t try to get her wrinkled claws into him:
when the same miss-35 makes some eyeballs your way though, and says “i think you’re attractive”, then things get a bit creepier.
Dude, if you’re going to write fiction, at least try to make the dialogue sound vaguely realistic.
Anyway, Jake informs us that this eyeball-making elderly lady of 35 with the world’s least creative pickup line is
like the homeless man wandering into the bentley dealer, making moves to go sit in the new continental gt. a clear case of a completely non-reality based self image. a delusion, painful to those who may have to be part of a conflicting reality. i totally get how 19 year old girls must feel, when the 65 year old liver-spotted shaking hands of the australian tourist reach for her thigh.
Yes, that’s right: when a 35-year-old woman hits on a man her age or even slightly older, she is like a 65-year-old man pawing the thighs of a 19-year-old girl.
That’s PUA math for you.
Actually, that’s the math that PUAs try to sell to their readers, and to themselves.
In reality the math that really counts for Western expats like Jakeface has to do with exploiting their relative wealth in countries where a sufficient number of women are poor enough that putting up with a PUA and his bullshit isn’t the worst option they have. In Vietnam, per capita income is a little over $1,100 (American). Per capita income in the US? About $43,000. That’s the real expat PUA math.
Anyway, Jakeface continues with his rant:
24 is super crazy, crazy old. for a girl.
17. 19. past that, if we’re going to get all about babies, is pretty sketchy.
Yeah, he really said that. Does he even believe it? Who knows? The average age for first births in the United States is 26; in the UK, it’s 30. The risks of pregnancy and giving birth over the age of 35 have been greatly exaggerated, and the vast majority of babies born to women later in life are perfectly healthy. Even if he doesn’t know any women his age who’ve had children,you might think he would have noticed the small army of female celebrities in their forties who’ve been popping out babies without either them or the babies exploding.
But Jakeface isn’t basing his conclusions here on a close reading of the medical literature, or even People magazine. Nope, as he makes clear, his opinions are coming straight from his dick and his “barely legal” obsessed brain.
who cares about what which culture says about it. that’s what my brain, freed from all the media propaganda, is finding attractive. at 24, you can already start to imagine what she’ll look like in 10 years. the outlines are set. the fantasy of youth eternal is already shattered.
24 is old-holy-fuck-you’re-countess-dracula, tell me about how life was in the 16th century.
Again, Jakeface by his own admission is almost 40.
in vietnam, that sort of age awareness seems to be the consensus, still. which makes vietnam ok in my book. it makes me think about applying for vietnamese citizenship. i want to be part of a culture that shares my innate values. a 35 year old vietnamese woman wouldn’t go “heeeey, soooo, how about some babies?” it’d be considered unfathomably rude, suggesting that my value wouldn’t allow me the choice of a 19 year old instead, that my fridge is only good for milk a solid week and a half past its expiration date.
Dude, you only have this “value” in countries where a good portion of the women don’t have good options. And you know it. That’s why you’re in a country with a per capita income that is literally 1/38th that of the United States.
and this isn’t personal, as in if you read this and you’re a 35 year old woman, i’m not making fun. i’m only talking about biological reality, and my own mating preferences. which also, mating preferences of any man with the option, and in his right mind.
Really? George Clooney, formerly the world’s most eligible bachelor, just got engaged to a 36-year-old.
it could still happen. jake might have some asian babies with a few 24 year old girls. there are two current contenders, which i’m hoping to replace with some 17 year olds, before some heat-of-the-moment questionable decisions.
it’s hard to take a step back, when you’re in the pet shop, surrounded by puppies.
For the sake of all that is good in this world, dude, do not breed. Do not saddle some poor Vietnamese teenager with your spawn.
@cassandrakitty – “I’d say Rammstein were right inbetween metal and industrial, leaning more metal, somehow managing to combine the most boring and dumb aspects of both genres. You can tell that I’m a big fan, huh? But yeah, they are a plague upon both music scenes, if you imagine that some evil scientist created a plague that left people bored and vaguely irritated rather than dead. Like Nickelback are for mainstream rock radio.”
Thanks for that! It makes me feel better for turning off the video so soon. I was afraid I had somehow missed something good, because you posted it here, but I just couldn’t to listen to it for more than a minute.
From what little I could gather from the lyrics, it seemed to be a take on an old German Christmas carol, but I admit, my German is REALLY rusty, and it was never that shiny to begin with.
@cassandrakitty
oh god, THAT. even without the stereotyping, the song is so goddamn annoying. it’s like every annoying aspect of music genres was combined to create this mess.
@cassandra
Haven’t heard the whole song, but I have seen people talking about it, and video screencaps. :/
Other than that one video, which is either a piece of performance art about the concept of misogyny or a sign that the creators have about as much self awareness as a potted plant, my problem with Rammstein is 100% about the music. I don’t care about them enough to bother trying to figure out their lyrics.
I have to admit I have a soft spot for industrial music and metal of all varieties, but I love most music genres. Polka, screamo, and dubstep are really the only genres I absolutely can’t stand.
I realize I was really unclear, by this
I meant every genre I’ve heard has had some misogynistic stuff, not that every single rock song had it.
/clarifying.
Yep. Like I said earlier, we could make a whole thread just about the various rock/metal/insert stuff with lots of guitars here songs that are all about stalking, rape, how horrible women are when they don’t have sex with you, how horrible women who used to have sex with you and then left you are, and so on. There is a band called Pretty Girls Make Graves, who took their name from a song from a band that are almost universally loved by fans of their genre. Every single corner of the white-boys-with-guitars music scene is saturated with misogyny.
So is a lot of rap, too, but the point is that it’s in no way unique or special in that regard.
@seraph4377 – Thanks. I didn’t know about Phoenician’s history.
Not even kidding here, the first time I heard dubstep I thought it was a joke. Clearly I was being far too optimistic.
I felt like my ears were being assaulted with broken glass and teenage angst. On the fun side, have you seen the “funstep” post on tumblr? I thought it was pretty funny.
[CN: rape]
Also, I find it amusing how so many white folks see rap as the ultimate example of racist* and sexist when so much music from white people is full of bigotry. Just look at Robin Thicke, who wrote that song everyone hates, and Lady Gaga, who defended herself of accusations of being a trans woman by saying “I’m not like those gross tr*nnies! I’m a normal woman.”
*Although clearly the only kind of racism those white folks care about is “reverse racism.” They love to appropriate the n-word in order to sound like “cool black thugs” but as soon as they hear a black person rapping about white supremacy they complain loudly and claim to be victims of vicious racism.
I feel like Dubstep Cat is where dubstep finds its rightful place in society.
@ally
Oh wow….she said that? That’s terrible.
(Don’t know why I put that content note there. :S)
@LBT
liked that song. *adds too music bookmarks*
Oh, okay. Thank you for explaining. Is it normal for people’s musical tastes to vary widely? Because I actually really enjoy listening to Rammstein. XD
I’d say that there’s really no more sexism in rap than there is in rock; it’s just that rap’s sexism has been coded as unacceptable because it’s perpetrated largely by Black individuals. Whereas white dudes get a pass. If someone wants to make a generalization that the music scene in general is misogynistic, I’ll take that as valid, given the state of things, but when it gets down to demonizing specifically rap or other styles of music that originated with and continue to be tied to minority cultures, it reeks of poorly-disguised racism.
And really, if you can’t recognize how abysmally rock or country or ANY other white-coded genre treats women, either you’ve never listened to any or you have no idea what you’re talking about :/ FFS, even classical music has a long history of discrimination against women.
I can’t remember who described The Beatles as “chirpy misogyny”, but they were right on. Really, it’s everywhere in music, because it’s everywhere in society and all music that has lyrics is inevitably going to reflect the culture that created it.
@scott
Yeah, it’s normal. And sorry if you were just asking a hypothetical, I have a hard time telling tone over the internet.
@ Marie – It was a major feminist blog for some years, then it got absorbed into Raw Story. It’s now essentially just the title for Amanda Marcotte’s daily opinion column.
@ Michelle – You’re welcome
@Marie
Yeah. A while ago a lot of cis dudebros were obsessing over this one photo of Lady Gaga in which her crotch looked like it had a slight bulge, which meant to them that she had “male” genitals.
This was her full response.
Here’s more on her transmisogyny.
Oh, no, I had wanted an answer. Thank you.
@ally
OH, sorry, I wasn’t trying to ask like I didn’t believe you, it was a ‘how could she think that’s okay’ thing. um if I make any sense?
@greendaywantsavatars – “well, the lyrics of a song don’t really determine the genre. my favorite songs from when i was like, thirteen were mostly rock and hard rock, and i had to stop listening to a bunch of them b/c the unbearable misogyny.”
Well, of course the lyrics don’t determine the genre. That would be silly. The musical stylings determine the genre.
Now, being a complete stranger to Phoenician, and being an optimist, I read “half is bad” as meaning that ONLY half was bad, meaning the other half was good.
Like when Miss Whatever-state answered the infamous “why can’t 20% of Americans find the U.S.A. on a map?” question with a bunch of ridiculous stuff about “the Iraq,” and such, my sisters and I agreed that if 20% can’t find America on a map, that means that 80% CAN! That’s a B grade! Not so bad, when you look at it like that. Also, she should have stopped with “not everyone has a map.” Because that’s true.
I also read (because this is me, here) that Phoenician’s familiarity with rap was not so much from listening to the genre but from listening to what media tends to say about the genre, and most of the time, if media is writing about the lyrics of a rap song, it’s to say how bad the lyrics are. This is probably due to the fact that “news” media tend to report the bad stuff, and ignore the good.
After all, we are inundated with stories about “bad rapper” this and “bad lyrics” that, because those are the stories that generate interest. I’ve heard all sorts of stuff about how Eminem talks trash about women in his songs. Frankly, I’ve only ever heard one of his songs all the way through. Didn’t like it. Can’t remember what it said, either.
Also, I read it as (again, like me), Phoenician has not had a wide-ranging experience in music. This is me projecting, and trying to be optimistic, because he’s a stranger to me, and I didn’t want to pre-judge him.
I don’t listen to metal, rock, heavy-metal, hard rock, or a lot of other such harsh (to my ears) music. I prefer pop, classical, and golden-oldies.
As I said, I have heard some good rap (meaning uplifting), and I have had some bad rap (meaning disgusting trash) forced on me. The lyrics are completely different, but the sound is still similar. I find it difficult to listen to, either way. Just not my thing, and I don’t care what color the artists are. It’s just hard for me to hear the stylings of modern rap.
So, I was trying to give the benefit of the doubt to Phoenician, because he was a stranger. Now that I know he’s not a stranger, here, and has proven himself in the past, then that history colors the interpretation of his current posts. I can see, now, how someone would read his post as an attack on all rap, based on things he has said in the past.
Incidentally, my first exposure to rap was by white artists. I didn’t like it then, either. I never thought of it as “black” music. Just annoying music. It just bothers my ears, for some reason. Heavy metal gives me an instant headache, so the most uplifting lyrics in a heavy metal song would go right past me, because I’m too busy moaning and holding my ears to hear any words.
I do, however, find great delight in “bubblegum music,” which, for some reason, is deemed “not deep” or “not important,” no matter what the lyrics say. Which also bugs me. It does, however, soothe me, even as it gives me an energy boost. I can listen to that sound for hours. When I discover a song in that genre with bad lyrics, I just cut that song out of my playlist, and listen to the oodles of good ones out there. I assume that’s the same thing you do with a bad rap song. Just edit it out, and go for the good ones. Because there are a lot of good ones to hear.
I’m not a huge fan of Ramnstein, but I’ve been told that they’re all about the irony. At least their song Amerika is a pretty funny way to troll Americans. 😉