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Expat PUA blogger: "24 is super crazy, crazy old. for a girl. 17. 19. past that, if we’re going to get all about babies, is pretty sketchy."

I couldn't come up with a good graphic for this post, so here's a giant chicken kidnapping a young boy.
I couldn’t come up with a good graphic for this post, so here’s a giant chicken kidnapping a young boy.

Jakeface — not his real name — is a “Game” blogger, pushing 40, and living in Vietnam. Or visiting there? I haven’t read enough of his blog to be able to figure that out. Given that the name of his blog is “cedonulli,” which seems to be a pretentious reference to the Latin phrase “cedo nulli” ( “I yield to none”), I probably won’t be reading all that much more.

But I do know he likes Vietnam, because he’s the sort of guy who enjoys joking about having sex with “girls … so barely legal … it’s not even funny,” and in Vietnam, he says, he’s not the only one who thinks that 24-year old women are “old as fuck.”

Did I mention he’s pushing 40 himself?

Anyway, not long ago, Jakeface offered readers of his blog his deep thoughts on the subject of age, and why women over the age of 19 are already starting to look elderly to him. [Link is mildly NSFW]

He starts off by noting sadly that even in Vietnam, he still runs into Western women in their 30s who for some strange reason think they aren’t old hags.

even nice western girls are under the influence of western default cultural context.  so many ridiculously illogical retarded things leave their mouths, that you can’t help but praise the heavens that you found a cultural base that still has a concept of sustainable biological imperatives.

“i’m 35 now, i’ve got my education and my career, i’m ready to settle down and have babies.  why can’t i find a good man?”

it’s so hard to be jake, sometimes.

Jake apparently hasn’t found the shift key on his keyboard yet.

But he can’t blame these Western gals, he says, for being “indoctrinated by western culture,” and “so it would be unfair, short sighted, dumb to make fun of miss-35 for waiting till after the closing bell to place her bid.”

Well, just so long as Miss 35 doesn’t try to get her wrinkled claws into him:

when the same miss-35 makes some eyeballs your way though, and says “i think you’re attractive”, then things get a bit creepier.

Dude, if you’re going to write fiction, at least try to make the dialogue sound vaguely realistic.

Anyway, Jake informs us that this eyeball-making elderly lady of 35 with the world’s least creative pickup line is

like the homeless man wandering into the bentley dealer, making moves to go sit in the new continental gt. a clear case of a completely non-reality based self image.  a delusion, painful to those who may have to be part of a conflicting reality.  i totally get how 19 year old girls must feel, when the 65 year old liver-spotted shaking hands of the australian tourist reach for her thigh.

Yes, that’s right: when a 35-year-old woman hits on a man her age or even slightly older, she is like a 65-year-old man pawing the thighs of a 19-year-old girl.

That’s PUA math for you.

Actually, that’s the math that PUAs try to sell to their readers, and to themselves.

In reality the math that really counts for Western expats like Jakeface has to do with exploiting their relative wealth in countries where a sufficient number of women are poor enough that putting up with a PUA and his bullshit isn’t the worst option they have. In Vietnam, per capita income is a little over $1,100 (American). Per capita income in the US? About $43,000. That’s the real expat PUA math.

Anyway, Jakeface continues with his rant:

24 is super crazy, crazy old.  for a girl.

17. 19. past that, if we’re going to get all about babies, is pretty sketchy.

Yeah, he really said that. Does he even believe it? Who knows? The average age for first births in the United States is 26; in the UK, it’s 30. The risks of pregnancy and giving birth over the age of 35 have been greatly exaggerated, and the vast majority of babies born to women later in life are perfectly healthy. Even if he doesn’t know any women his age who’ve had children,you might think he would have noticed the small army of female celebrities in their forties who’ve been popping out babies without either them or the babies exploding.

But Jakeface isn’t basing his conclusions here on a close reading of the medical literature, or even People magazine. Nope, as he makes clear, his opinions are coming straight from his dick and his “barely legal” obsessed brain.

who cares about what which culture says about it.  that’s what my brain, freed from all the media propaganda, is finding attractive.  at 24, you can already start to imagine what she’ll look like in 10 years.  the outlines are set.  the fantasy of youth eternal is already shattered.

24 is old-holy-fuck-you’re-countess-dracula, tell me about how life was in the 16th century.

Again, Jakeface by his own admission is almost 40.

in vietnam, that sort of age awareness seems to be the consensus, still.  which makes vietnam ok in my book.  it makes me think about applying for vietnamese citizenship.  i want to be part of a culture that shares my innate values.  a 35 year old vietnamese woman wouldn’t go “heeeey, soooo, how about some babies?”  it’d be considered unfathomably rude, suggesting that my value wouldn’t allow me the choice of a 19 year old instead, that my fridge is only good for milk a solid week and a half past its expiration date.

Dude, you only have this “value” in countries where a good portion of the women don’t have good options. And you know it. That’s why you’re in a country with a per capita income that is literally 1/38th that of the United States.

and this isn’t personal, as in if you read this and you’re a 35 year old woman, i’m not making fun.  i’m only talking about biological reality, and my own mating preferences.  which also, mating preferences of any man with the option, and in his right mind.

Really? George Clooney, formerly the world’s most eligible bachelor, just got engaged to a 36-year-old.

it could still happen.  jake might have some asian babies with a few 24 year old girls.  there are two current contenders, which i’m hoping to replace with some 17 year olds, before some heat-of-the-moment questionable decisions.

it’s hard to take a step back, when you’re in the pet shop, surrounded by puppies.

For the sake of all that is good in this world, dude, do not breed. Do not saddle some poor Vietnamese teenager with your spawn.

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Robert
Robert
10 years ago

Aaah! HENRY the Second! I am abashed.

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

Gah! No, all this “fertility” talk by NuclearZ and Jakeface in the OP is just a cover; a rationalization for predatory behavior. Because, really, that’s what men like Jakeface are: they’re predators targeting the most vulnerable people they can, poor teenaged girls in an impoverished country. These men aren’t marrying these girls and having a bunch of children with them, they’re using them. These men don’t really care about how “fertile” these teenage girls are.

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

It’s so creepy that these guy talk about sexing underage girls and try to explain it away by talking about women like livestock or even a car. (They want one without too many miles on it.) They see deaths of women and children as just minor inconveniences. (Hey, her pain doesn’t hurt him at all, so why should he care?) They act as if our ancient ancestors never bonded out of love or mourned lost children or partners. They seem to think that all men see women and girls as toys. Sometimes your toy gets broken (or you break it) and you have to get a new one, but hey NEW TOY! So, what’s the problem? They want to believe that all men are like them and that they aren’t twisted, evil fucks. They want us to believe it too.

Never gonna happen.

Men seeking underage sex tourism are child molesters and no country in the world should give them a pass.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Young men have more fertile years ahead of them and are less likely to suffer erectile dysfunction.

Yeah, aren’t we forgetting the dudely side of the fertility and attraction situation? I’m married, and my husband is nearly 45. No ED or other penis-related issues thus far, but hey, clearly he’s passed his period of peak fertility. Sorry, honey, but nature wants me to be a cougar, so I’m off to find myself an impoverished 17 year old boy to “mate” with.

Doesn’t sound so nice when you flip the gender script, huh?

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

They act as if our ancient ancestors never bonded out of love or mourned lost children or partners.

Chimps display mourning FFS. It’s ridiculous to imagine our ancient ancestors didn’t care about people beyond their reproductive value.

Marie,
Wow! Blockquote Mammoth sure was hungry today!

Marie
Marie
10 years ago

@weirdwoodtreehugger

Marie,
Wow! Blockquote Mammoth sure was hungry today!

::blushies:: Well, someone had to feed it…

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
10 years ago

Uh-huh. You don’t see the problem with labelling one area “a special exception” and assuming that it won’t be extended to other areas? That once you carve off a ‘special provision” for something totally reprehensible, such as sex with children, it won’t be used in calling for similar provisions for things other people find reprehensible, such as maybe drug taking?

Having sex with children (or trafficked/enslaved adults) is a human rights violation. And if a Saudi national molested a child in the US, you better fucking believe I’d support his country prosecuting him.

Every “slippery slope” example you’ve presented falls so far short of the human rights issues in the international sex trade, it’s a wonder to me how you can even think of comparing them. We’re talking about slavery and rape, for god’s sake, not drugs or premarital sex.

On sexism in music: The rolling Stones, “Under My Thumb”. It’s pretty much a MRA utopian fantasy.

Aw, but I love polka! It and mariachi are the only two musical genres that are guaranteed non-frightening after watching/playing something scary.

Have you tried Zydeco? I find it impossible to feel unhappy while listening to Zydeco.

The media portrays rap as “licentious black people music”. It is portrayed as a monolithic genre comprised of lyrics only about drugs, sex and money. Its portrayal is so negative that rap is frequently cited as the ultimate example of morally corrupt music

And all by people who don’t even listen to it, or have only heard a couple of songs.

Hell, when I hear other white people talk about rap almost all the time they “hate all rap, except Eminem( (or insert other white rap artist, but it’s usually Eminem).What I’m hearing is “I can only relate to and stand to listen to music if it’s by someone who is white too.”

Which is funny coming from supposed Eminem fans, because he points this out in his music. It’s like they didn’t even listen to “White America”.

On Dan Savage: early in my sexual life, I really loved his column, because I got to see what a wide range of things fell under the heading of “normal” and discovered some interests I might not otherwise have had. And I’ve seen him be really right about things, like telling someone the “bad sex” she described was rape, or smacking down a Nice Guy who wrote in for advice on getting his hot friend to sleep with him. But as I’ve learned even more about feminism and consent and healthy relationships, I tend to agree with the criticisms – and there’ve been some really appalling things, like saying trans people should disclose on the first date, or starting the “blame blacks and Hispanics for Prop 8” meme. On balance, I’m not a fan.

I did enjoy his books, though, especially the autobiographical ones.

@Zimmerframe,

Let’s just think this through logically and dispassionately.

I see your misogynistic dogwhistle.

Zolnier
Zolnier
10 years ago

All the “biological” arguments for ephebophila fall apart when it’s awful proponents mention virgins. Why would Og the stereotypical cave man want a virgin for, a woman with a few kids has already proven she’s capable of carrying a child to term, more than once in fact.

The only reason you should be terribly concerned about the mother of your child being a virgin is if you’re some kind of warlock and need a very specific kind of kid for a ritual.

Also what is the man with the nice hat holding in that picture? H.G Welles didn’t invent the lightsaber did he?

katz
10 years ago

By the simple and very reasonable assumption that most reproduction in prehistoric times happened within marriages, we can mathematically infer that a male preference for young virgin girls will be common.

Evidence continues to suggest that he wants to marry a newborn baby.

seraph4377
10 years ago

@ zolnier – I’m going to guess that’s a cane.

Ally S
10 years ago

Girls who start reproducing about 17 leave behind the most surviving offspring and have therefore come to dominate in these societies.

There must be something very wrong with your math when it leads you to believe that 17-year-old cis girls “dominate” society.

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

Ally,
Remember that when these guys say a woman is “dominating”, they mean “She won’t touch my tingly bits and that’s mean!”.

Amused
10 years ago

Girls who start reproducing about 17 leave behind the most surviving offspring and have therefore come to dominate in these societies.

Really? How do you figure? Seems to me, you have grown up in a household where a man never did a second of child care, ever, and considered his parental function fully discharged upon blowing his load. Hence you know about as much about child-bearing as a hedgehog would know about making cassoulet. Here is the biological reality you continue to ignore (while lecturing everyone else on supposedly not understanding biology, no less): human reproduction is highly inefficient. Humans reproduce little and mature very slowly. That means, it’s a long process with many twists and turns, as well as multiple points of failure. Your reproduction isn’t actually a “success” until your offspring itself reaches maturity and reproduces.

And this is where environment plays a major role. Teenage girls are more likely than grown women to abort, miscarry or give birth prematurily. They are poorer; they are less likely to have a supportive partner; they receive lower quality prenatal care. Children born to teenage girls are more likely to be abandoned, abused, neglected, raised in dysfunctional households, sustain in-utero injury from high-risk behavior during the mother’s pregnancy, receive substandard healthcare and inadequate education, suffer from hunger and other effects of poverty — in other words, they have a greater risk of dying prematurely, acquiring debilitating chronic illnesses or growing up developmentally disabled.

So no, it doesn’t seem obvious enough to me to assume that girls who start to reproduce at 17 (1) leave behind the most (or the best) surviving offspring; or (2) that said offspring comes to dominate societies.

Let’s just think this through logically and dispassionately.

Oh, I am all for it. Alas, you lack the capacity for logic. This is due to one of two reasons:

A: You are stupid; or
B: You are blinded by your emotions.

Or, perhaps, a little bit from column A, a little bit from column B.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
10 years ago

By the simple and very reasonable assumption that most reproduction in prehistoric times happened within marriages

What? Not only is a citation needed, but my own assfax find this counterintuitive. Every other animal manages to reproduce without marriage and there’s no reason to assume that prehistoric humans were any different.

katz
10 years ago

He might be less boring if he would actually engage. But nothing he says ever shows the slightest indication that he has read what anyone else wrote. He hasn’t even explained why virgins are supposed to be better, for instance.

moldybrehd
10 years ago

What? Not only is a citation needed, but my own assfax find this counterintuitive.

Sorry, but MRA assfax are *always* right – otherwise it’s misandry! /s

beegee
beegee
10 years ago

Troofax-evidence points to early humans being somewhat polygamous-both the “males” and the “females.” Marriage is a pretty recent development. Little bro’s been sold out by his own evopsych bros.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Evidence continues to suggest that he wants to marry a newborn baby.

He’s a much less attractive version of the kid who was always taking his shirt off in the Twilight movies!

Amused
10 years ago

By the simple and very reasonable assumption that most reproduction in prehistoric times happened within marriages

What? Not only is a citation needed, but my own assfax find this counterintuitive. Every other animal manages to reproduce without marriage and there’s no reason to assume that prehistoric humans were any different.

I chuckled at that too, since “prehistoric”, by definition, is a culture that has not yet embraced writing; and without written records, it is difficult, if not impossible, to ascertain a society’s marital customs and practices.

That said, ideas about what marriage is have varied widely across times and through different eras. Marriage-solemnizing rituals in Western culture — at least for people below the level of royalty or the priestly class — are a fairly recent tradition. For much of ancient history, you were married if you lived together under one roof, and the extended family decided you were married. The lines between marriage, concubinage and prostitution were very, very blurry. In fact, you can still see vestiges of this in working-class and poor people from many parts of Latin America: a couple that merely lives together in a marital-type relationship consider themselves married and refer to each other as husband and wife, without bothering with formalities.

Also: most prehistoric groups, at least in Europe and the Middle East, practiced incestuous endogamy. Playing the devil’s advocate, I can articulate some pretty compelling reasons why you should keep it in the family, so to speak — and in the ancient world, incest was THE NORM. Gee, are we not being true to our “real” natures, now that we don’t have uncles marrying their nieces and siblings reproducing with each other?

kittehserf
10 years ago

And these people couldn’t count on meat all the time since most animals were super sized back then and humans only had sticks and rocks to hunt with.

Eh, could we not reduce the tool-and-weapon-making skills of early people to this, please?

vaiyt
10 years ago

They seem to think that all men see women and girls as toys. Sometimes your toy gets broken (or you break it) and you have to get a new one, but hey NEW TOY!

Moreover, that’s a child’s way to view a toy. An adult knows toys have a cost.

AL3H
AL3H
10 years ago

@Ally

That is excellent news. 🙂

Re: “fertile years” debate.

I saw a documentary a couple of years ago. The presenter travelled to Africa to interview members of a particular hunter-gatherer tribe. In this tribe (due to the environment) women could gather enough food for themselves, but not enough for themselves and their children. One way they dealt with this was to enlist help e.g. from their mothers. Another way was for a woman to select a partner who was a good hunter and could supplement their (and their children’s diet). In this case, the limiting factor in how many children a woman could have had nothing to do with age and everything to do with access to food and a strong support network.

As an aside, my sister-in-law was very stressed after she had her baby. My brother was really stressed too. I think it was because of the support from her mum, and our family that they coped. So I think the support network being a limiting factor (as opposed to a woman’s age) argument is valid in Australia too.

I don’t have a YouTube link, but I think the series was Origins of Us, the tribe was the Hadza tribe and the presenter was Dr Alice Roberts.

All that being said, I am not an anthropologist, so I don’t know to what extent the cultural structure of this tribe was oversimplified for the documentary and to what extent similar structures are present in other cultures.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
10 years ago

Troofax-evidence points to early humans being somewhat polygamous-both the “males” and the “females.

Well that would be consistent with our closest primate relatives.

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

I’ve heard of a theory that a lot of paleolithic cultures pretty much just had sex with everyone else in the group. That it way it was easier to live communally. Nobody knew the paternity of any of the kids so they all just took care of them as a group.

I have no idea how true or well regarded that theory is and I don’t even remember where I heard it so I’m not trying to present this as troofax. Just putting it out there.

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

Since we’ve been discussing history, may I take a second to brag?

My mom has been doing genealogy research and she found out we’re descended from this guy http://www.wikitree.com/wiki/De_Rodes-13 who probably knew Eleanor of Aquitaine. She’s a big fan of hers and I like her too so this is pretty cool!

I’m also related to George W Bush on both sides of his family. That’s less cool.