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Expat PUA blogger: "24 is super crazy, crazy old. for a girl. 17. 19. past that, if we’re going to get all about babies, is pretty sketchy."

I couldn't come up with a good graphic for this post, so here's a giant chicken kidnapping a young boy.
I couldn’t come up with a good graphic for this post, so here’s a giant chicken kidnapping a young boy.

Jakeface — not his real name — is a “Game” blogger, pushing 40, and living in Vietnam. Or visiting there? I haven’t read enough of his blog to be able to figure that out. Given that the name of his blog is “cedonulli,” which seems to be a pretentious reference to the Latin phrase “cedo nulli” ( “I yield to none”), I probably won’t be reading all that much more.

But I do know he likes Vietnam, because he’s the sort of guy who enjoys joking about having sex with “girls … so barely legal … it’s not even funny,” and in Vietnam, he says, he’s not the only one who thinks that 24-year old women are “old as fuck.”

Did I mention he’s pushing 40 himself?

Anyway, not long ago, Jakeface offered readers of his blog his deep thoughts on the subject of age, and why women over the age of 19 are already starting to look elderly to him. [Link is mildly NSFW]

He starts off by noting sadly that even in Vietnam, he still runs into Western women in their 30s who for some strange reason think they aren’t old hags.

even nice western girls are under the influence of western default cultural context.  so many ridiculously illogical retarded things leave their mouths, that you can’t help but praise the heavens that you found a cultural base that still has a concept of sustainable biological imperatives.

“i’m 35 now, i’ve got my education and my career, i’m ready to settle down and have babies.  why can’t i find a good man?”

it’s so hard to be jake, sometimes.

Jake apparently hasn’t found the shift key on his keyboard yet.

But he can’t blame these Western gals, he says, for being “indoctrinated by western culture,” and “so it would be unfair, short sighted, dumb to make fun of miss-35 for waiting till after the closing bell to place her bid.”

Well, just so long as Miss 35 doesn’t try to get her wrinkled claws into him:

when the same miss-35 makes some eyeballs your way though, and says “i think you’re attractive”, then things get a bit creepier.

Dude, if you’re going to write fiction, at least try to make the dialogue sound vaguely realistic.

Anyway, Jake informs us that this eyeball-making elderly lady of 35 with the world’s least creative pickup line is

like the homeless man wandering into the bentley dealer, making moves to go sit in the new continental gt. a clear case of a completely non-reality based self image.  a delusion, painful to those who may have to be part of a conflicting reality.  i totally get how 19 year old girls must feel, when the 65 year old liver-spotted shaking hands of the australian tourist reach for her thigh.

Yes, that’s right: when a 35-year-old woman hits on a man her age or even slightly older, she is like a 65-year-old man pawing the thighs of a 19-year-old girl.

That’s PUA math for you.

Actually, that’s the math that PUAs try to sell to their readers, and to themselves.

In reality the math that really counts for Western expats like Jakeface has to do with exploiting their relative wealth in countries where a sufficient number of women are poor enough that putting up with a PUA and his bullshit isn’t the worst option they have. In Vietnam, per capita income is a little over $1,100 (American). Per capita income in the US? About $43,000. That’s the real expat PUA math.

Anyway, Jakeface continues with his rant:

24 is super crazy, crazy old.  for a girl.

17. 19. past that, if we’re going to get all about babies, is pretty sketchy.

Yeah, he really said that. Does he even believe it? Who knows? The average age for first births in the United States is 26; in the UK, it’s 30. The risks of pregnancy and giving birth over the age of 35 have been greatly exaggerated, and the vast majority of babies born to women later in life are perfectly healthy. Even if he doesn’t know any women his age who’ve had children,you might think he would have noticed the small army of female celebrities in their forties who’ve been popping out babies without either them or the babies exploding.

But Jakeface isn’t basing his conclusions here on a close reading of the medical literature, or even People magazine. Nope, as he makes clear, his opinions are coming straight from his dick and his “barely legal” obsessed brain.

who cares about what which culture says about it.  that’s what my brain, freed from all the media propaganda, is finding attractive.  at 24, you can already start to imagine what she’ll look like in 10 years.  the outlines are set.  the fantasy of youth eternal is already shattered.

24 is old-holy-fuck-you’re-countess-dracula, tell me about how life was in the 16th century.

Again, Jakeface by his own admission is almost 40.

in vietnam, that sort of age awareness seems to be the consensus, still.  which makes vietnam ok in my book.  it makes me think about applying for vietnamese citizenship.  i want to be part of a culture that shares my innate values.  a 35 year old vietnamese woman wouldn’t go “heeeey, soooo, how about some babies?”  it’d be considered unfathomably rude, suggesting that my value wouldn’t allow me the choice of a 19 year old instead, that my fridge is only good for milk a solid week and a half past its expiration date.

Dude, you only have this “value” in countries where a good portion of the women don’t have good options. And you know it. That’s why you’re in a country with a per capita income that is literally 1/38th that of the United States.

and this isn’t personal, as in if you read this and you’re a 35 year old woman, i’m not making fun.  i’m only talking about biological reality, and my own mating preferences.  which also, mating preferences of any man with the option, and in his right mind.

Really? George Clooney, formerly the world’s most eligible bachelor, just got engaged to a 36-year-old.

it could still happen.  jake might have some asian babies with a few 24 year old girls.  there are two current contenders, which i’m hoping to replace with some 17 year olds, before some heat-of-the-moment questionable decisions.

it’s hard to take a step back, when you’re in the pet shop, surrounded by puppies.

For the sake of all that is good in this world, dude, do not breed. Do not saddle some poor Vietnamese teenager with your spawn.

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gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
10 years ago

in vietnam, that sort of age awareness seems to be the consensus, still. which makes vietnam ok in my book. it makes me think about applying for vietnamese citizenship. i want to be part of a culture that shares my innate values.

So that, when he’s 65, he’ll be able to pay enough to keep those 19-year-olds from showing him how they feel when he “paws” at them.

I’m all for him going away and living in Vietnam (and never coming back home), but isn’t there an island somewhere they could shipwreck him on? I don’t want to foist him off into some neo-colonial, exchange-rate enabled “Indochine” fantasy land.

Hyena Girl
Hyena Girl
10 years ago

Tonight on “The Spawning Behavior of the Lesser American Douchebag”…

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

i totally get how 19 year old girls must feel, when the 65 year old liver-spotted shaking hands of the australian tourist reach for her thigh.

But your almost-40-hands are totally sexy to 19 year olds, of course. That certainly matches my memories of being 19. /sarcasm

Skye
Skye
10 years ago

When I first read this, I thought his handle was Jerkface. I think he should change it. Also, I feel bad for the people of Vietnam, especially if he becomes a citizen. (I like Gillyrosebee’s idea of an uninhabited island for him).

Skye
Skye
10 years ago

Also, my body didn’t get the memo that 24 was old and way past my ability to have kids. My son was born when I was 33 and at 35 I’m pregnant. Oh the misandry my poor husband endures.

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

Yeah, he sounds like a real prize, definitely worth forgoing education and career for.o.0

He’s old enough to be the dad of a 17 year old girl. bleh.

j_bird
j_bird
10 years ago

Jakeface: the fantasy of youth eternal is already shattered.

Gillyrosebee: isn’t there an island somewhere they could shipwreck him on?

Neverland comes to mind. As an added bonus, the Lost Boys would probably feed Jakeface to the sharks within a week for excessive whining.

KathleenB
KathleenB
10 years ago

Ew ew ew ew ew ew

Wow. That is some seriously nasty shit. Glad I’m well into withered hag-dom by this asshats standards…

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

i totally get how 19 year old girls must feel, when the 65 year old liver-spotted shaking hands of the australian tourist reach for her thigh.

Does this mean he’ll stop hitting on teenagers when he’s 65?

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
10 years ago

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inaccessible_island

There’s unique birds there, though. I think it might be better to try and convince him that women who have been born or even conceived are too old. A real Alpha Dog only fucks abstract potential babes.

Mike StClair
10 years ago

It’s weird that it’s never really occurred to me until now how fucking creepy the attraction to “barely legal” is. It’s basically stating right up front that you want to have sex with a girl that you could imagine being 16 or 14. EW EW EW.

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

PUAs are always so ignorant about biology. This myth that the teen years are the prime time to start having babies needs to die in a fire.

It’s more dangerous for the mother.

Although adolescents aged 10-19 years account for 11% of all births worldwide, they account for 23% of the overall burden of disease (disability- adjusted life years) due to pregnancy and childbirth.

Fourteen percent of all unsafe abortions in low- and middle-income countries are among women aged 15–19 years. About 2.5 million adolescents have unsafe abortions every year, and adolescents are more seriously affected by complications than are older women.

In Latin America, the risk of maternal death is four times higher among adolescents younger than 16 years than among women in their twenties.

Many health problems are particularly associated with negative outcomes of pregnancy during adolescence. These include anaemia, malaria, HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, postpartum haemorrhage and mental disorders, such as depression.

Up to 65% of women with obstetric fistula develop this as adolescents, with dire consequences for their lives, physically and socially.

If you want to do the evo psych thing, men should be hard wired to find twenty somethings more attractive than teens because a teen mother is at greater risk of dying or developing health problems that will impede further reproduction.

It’s not just the teen mother at higher risk. So are their babies.

Stillbirths and death in the first week of life are 50% higher among babies born to mothers younger than 20 years than among babies born to mothers 20–29 years old.

Deaths during the first month of life are 50–100% more frequent if the mother is an adolescent versus older, and the younger the mother, the higher the risk.

The rates of preterm birth, low birth weight and asphyxia are higher among the children of adolescents, all of which increase the chance of death and of future health problems for the baby.

PUAs need to stop trying to use biology as an excuse for being a gross pervert.

Also, if Jerkface wants to knock up multiple teen without marrying them, he might be in the wrong part of the world.

Having a child outside marriage is not uncommon in many countries. Latin America, the Caribbean, parts of sub- Saharan Africa and high-income countries have higher rates of adolescent pregnancy outside marriage than does Asia.

Sad trumpet.

Source: The WHO http://www.who.int/maternal_child_adolescent/topics/maternal/adolescent_pregnancy/en/

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

Well, this is nauseating.

This:

For the sake of all that is good in this world, dude, do not breed. Do not saddle some poor Vietnamese teenager with your spawn.

All I can think of is some poor, de

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

And maybe I can finish my thought before hitting post:

All I can think of is some poor, desperately impoverished Vietnamese teenager, trying to take care of herself and this asshole’s child, because I doubt he’d be one to take care of the children he’d father.

Bina
Bina
10 years ago

24 is super crazy, crazy old. for a girl.

For a GIRL, yes. For a WOMAN, it’s just barely getting started.

And trust me, Jerkface…if you saw me at 17-19, I would not even be looking at you. I’d be speeding up, trying to get away…and no liver spots necessary. Just your sheer creepitude would do it. A guy crowding 40 is not even interesting to a girl that age. She’s looking at cute young guys. Guys HER age. NOT yours.

bluecat
bluecat
10 years ago

Ah, the eternal youthfullness, in their own eyes, of the aging pick-up artist.

It never fades as long as they have a wallet to stand on.

I lived in Northern Thailand for 3 years and saw a lot of these dudes with their creepy fetishisation of Asian women.

Am I the only person who read this hideous “so barely legal it’s not funny” bragging and thought ‘Hmm, quite likely not always legal at all, actually.”

Luzbelitx
10 years ago

it’s hard to take a step back, when you’re in the pet shop, surrounded by puppies.

FUCK OFF, CREEP

Pocket Nerd
10 years ago

Sex tourism, and child sex tourism, is becoming a more and more “out” topic among MRAs. I wonder if they have any awareness of how loathsome that looks to the rest of us?

bluecat
bluecat
10 years ago

Interesting that he lists some of the puppies – I mean the female human beings – he’s buying as 17.

The US State Department lists the legal age of consent in Vietnam as 18.

It’s complicated, apparently.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Asia

ash serban
10 years ago

FUCK NOOOOO!!! I’m 19 and my DAD is 45– this PUA age logic makes my skin crawl. I guess my parents were “old” when they had me. But having had careers established before I was born certainly helps us pay for my college education….
Too bad Jerkface doesn’t see 19 year old girls as wanting education or even as people for that matter.

Dvärghundspossen
10 years ago

This age talk makes me remember a time when I was thirty, and some random teenage dude messed me on the social forum I was a member of back then. He asked me several times whether I was really as old as thirty, since I “looked hot” on my pics, and his brain apparently found it hard to process that someone could “look hot” while being several decades old. After marveling for some time over my incredibly advanced age he still decided to ask me out. Now, I’ll turn down anyone since I’m monogamously married, but even if I had been single going out with Mr “you’re so incredibly old, but still in some completely inexplicable way hot!” would not have been at the top of my list.
Still, WAY way way more forgivable to think that thirty-year-old women are super-old when you’re a teenager yourself…

dustedeste
dustedeste
10 years ago

Ooooh, so I just turned 24! Does this mean I’m now off the radar? Will these jerks finally leave me alone?!???!

*Shakes Magic 8 Ball*

“My sources say no.”

dustedeste
dustedeste
10 years ago

I mean, I can tell you some about life in the 16th century, though, if you want. Mostly about the fashions of the day in France and Italy. Maybe that would drive them off? Combination of feeeeemale fripperies and also apparently being a deathless vampire person or whatever?

Shiraz
Shiraz
10 years ago

Man child fears aging, latches onto sexist biotruths and regards teen girls as a vampire might a blood bank in order to escape his terror of mortality — he’s a cliche.

Andrew Johnston
10 years ago

Well, glad I hadn’t eaten before reading this. You know, I was trying to figure out where exactly this guy is finding these underage girls to target – 17 year-olds don’t exactly have the run of the house in many of these cultures. Of course, it’s possible that he’s trolling poor communities for families impoverished enough – you know what? Not completing that thought.

In any case, this is probably a bad time to brag about predatory behavior, given some recent controversies in the area. The Republic of Korea tightened up their visa standards after they accidentally let some known child predators into the country. In the PRC, they tagged an alarmingly large numbers of public officials for soliciting or assaulting minors. Yeah, I know jackass here is pseudonymous and thinks he’s being coy, but it doesn’t take much to touch off a public outcry these days.

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