W. F. Price of The Spearhead isn’t very happy about my recent suggestion that the Men’s Rights movement encourages abusive ways of thinking towards women. It’s a strange claim for him to make, coming as it is from a guy who presides over one of the most notorious outposts of vicious, virulent misogyny in the Men’s Rights universe. Even stranger is his claim that by opposing violence against women and children I am therefore … supporting policies that lead to more violence against women and children.
It’s going to take a little while to work our way through his convoluted argument. So let’s start at the beginning. Here’s the quote of mine he objects to, from my post the other day about Lundy Bancroft:
[T]he more experience I’ve had with MRAs, the more I’ve begun to see the Men’s Rights Movement not only as an “abusers’ lobby” but as an abusers’ support group, and an abusive force in its own right, promoting forms of “activism” that are little more than semi-organized stalking and harassment of individual women.
It’s not that every MRA is literally a domestic abuser, though I wouldn’t be shocked to find domestic abusers seriously overrepresented in the Men’s Rights ranks; it’s that the Men’s Rights movement promotes abusive ways of thinking and behaving.
This, to Price, is “a calculated slur designed to play to base emotions, and even worse, it’s a damned lie.”
Accusing me of “demonizing fathers,” he argues that the “anti-family policy” he claims I promote “leads to highly elevated rates of domestic violence, rape and child abuse.” He’s especially incensed that I said positive things about Bancroft, who’s an advocate for abused women and (gasp!) actually has a page on his website linking to resources for divorced and divorcing women.
Apparently encouraging women who are being abused to get themselves and their children away from their abusive partner is a terrible, terrible thing in Price’s world.
Futrelle suggests that men who promote patriarchal values, i.e. pro-family values, are more likely to be abusers. But this is not borne out by statistics. In fact, it is quite the opposite. Single mothers are most likely to be battered by sex partners who are not their children’s father, and fatherless children most likely to be murdered, raped and abused.
Yet somehow, fathers’ rights advocates are suspicious, scary people.
David, do you really hate children that much? Do you want to see more women beaten? More children raped and murdered? If so, by all means, support people like Lundy Bancroft, who profit from advocating dissolution resources. Lundy Bancroft is a member in good standing of the divorce industrial complex. He literally lives off misery and destruction of families. I don’t see how anyone could claim to advocate the safety of women and children while promoting a self-interested, home-wrecking charlatan like Bancroft.
It is immoral, it is evil, and it hurts innocent people. How, David, can you defend that?
Woah, calm down there, fella!
Very little of Price’s rant has anything to do with anything I actually wrote. I said nothing in my post about the Men’s Rights movement promoting patriarchal or “pro-family” values. Fact is, while some more traditional MRAs do advocate patriarchy, you’re far more likely to run across MRAs denouncing marriage as a deadly trap and demanding the supposed right of “legal paternal surrender” – that is, the right for fathers to abandon all financial responsibilities towards children they don’t want.
I also said nothing about divorce, though, yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s a good idea when you’re married to an abuser. And it’s a good idea a lot of other times. While divorce is almost always painful to everyone involved, I don’t know a lot of divorced people who actually regret their decision to divorce.
That said, if Price thinks that patriarchal “pro-family” values are somehow a magical deterrent to divorce, he’s simply wrong. In fact, divorce rates are considerably higher in the Red State south than in the Blue State Northeast, in part because an excess of “family values” in the South means that couples are pressured to marry young, and people who marry young are the most likely to divorce.
You’d think Price would know that patriarchal values aren’t an antidote to divorce; after all, he’s as patriarchal as they come, and he’s on his second marriage.
In any case, what I did say, and have said, about the Men’s Rights movement is that it promotes misogynistic, hateful, and abusive thinking about women. For countless examples of this one need look no further than Price’s own blog.
Indeed, in the comments to this very post of his, several Spearheaders lash out against women with crude, misogynistic insults.
Verve announces that he’s Going His Own Way – and apparently that also includes his spelling of the word “voila.”
Take women out of your life- Wa-La! Magically 98% of the stress and problems they cause that lead to anger and the insane laws that have men go to jail for nothing- all gone!
Troll King, meanwhile, is in so much of a rush to get his opinion down that he doesn’t even bother to finish typing the final word – I can only presume it is “civilization.”
I know there are horrible men, but we all also know that women destroy civi.
But it is Höllenhund who wins the Misogyny Sweepstakes with his attack on single mothers:
Women are largely unfit to be effective parents, so the children they end up raising alone are pretty much a lost cause. Either they’ll end up dead, as you mention, or end up as whipped, psychologically damaged beta white knights, ghetto-dwelling alpha thugs or carouseling sluts if they’re born female. They are already contaminated by the sinfulness and pathology of their POS mothers.
These are all from one post — a post designed to refute my claim, backed up with hundreds of blog posts’ worth of evidence — that the Men’s Rights movement is rife with misogyny and abusive thinking about women.
Going back through my older posts about The Spearhead, I found too many examples of really foul misogyny to post. Here are just a few:
A little Fathers’ Day death threat from Jeremiah MRA, which got more upvotes than downvotes from the Spearheaders:
If a woman was being problematic and tried to keep my children from me, I’d do one of two things: refuse to see the kids and refuse all support, or end the problem once and for all.
Greyghost, fantasizing about how the collapse of civilization would force women to turn once again to strong men for protection:
Next to a dog female fear is a mans best friend. Fearful insecure women tend to be more polite and pleasant to those around her.
Ck, declaring that women are “feral creatures” who love to be abused by “thugs.”
[W]omen are at best amoral beings and at worst imoral. I no longer look at a women and hope they may be the one who vaules a decent, kind, moral man. Instead I see a feral creature who wants to be thugf#$cked and used. They are addicted to a drug called emotion. They want the highs of being thugf#cked and the coming lows of being used and dumped. Then rinse and repeat.
Darryl X suggesting that all women are whores:
Women are not women today. They are whores. Big difference.
Whores, that is, who should be forced to live in caves:
Since the solution for the past forty-four years was to kill and impoverish and exile and imprison men and steal their kids, I’d say sending women to live in a cave is a generous trade.
And let’s just finish off this little parade of abusive misogyny for now with Towgunner, complaining how unfair it is for a man like him to be considered “equal” to the spiteful creature that is woman:
The women’s world is here, they do things not out of practical necessity but out of spite, Mother’s Day comes and they bemoan house wives, Father’s day comes and they point out that some men are staying home. There is nothing practical here, there is spite, there is insult, and there is hubris. I don’t admire women, I don’t ever want to be one either, there is nothing noble about them. In fact I find it an insult to be called “equal” to them at all.
Now, I have no evidence that any of these men are themselves abusers of women.
But is there evidence that beliefs like this can lead to abuse? As a matter of fact, there is. A 2002 meta-review of 39 studies found that various aspects of “masculine ideology” were clearly tied to sexual aggression in men. The authors wrote:
In feminist sociocultural models of rape, extreme adherence to the masculine gender role is implicated in the perpetuation of sexual assault against women in that it encourages men to be dominant and aggressive, and it teaches that women are inferior to men and are sometimes worthy of victimization. Many researchers have linked components of masculine ideology to self-reports of past sexual aggression or future likelihood to rape. Thirty-nine effect sizes were examined in this meta-analysis across 11 different measures of masculine ideology to determine how strongly each index of masculine ideology was associated with sexual aggression. Although 10 of the 11 effect sizes were statistically significant, the 2 largest effects were for Malamuth’s construct of “hostile masculinity”… and Mosher’s construct of “hypermasculinity” … both of which measure multiple components of masculine ideology including acceptance of aggression against women and negative, hostile beliefs about women. The next strongest relationships concerned measures of agreement that men are dominant over women and measures of hostility toward women.
Emphasis mine.
Let’s look at the two forms of “masculine ideology” that have the highest correlations with sexual aggression. “Hypermasculinity” is essentially traditional machismo, laced with sexism. While one finds a good deal of macho posturing in the Men’s Rights movement, there are plenty of MRAs who don’t fit this stereotype.
What about “hostile masculinity?” The researchers describe it as a combination of
1) a desire to be in control, to be dominating, particularly in relation to women, and 2) an insecure, defensive, and distrustful orientation to women.
Does that sound just a little bit familiar?
It’s more or less a description of half of the MRAs out there, and probably the overwhelming majority of the commenters on The Spearhead.
Of course, the Spearheaders don’t express hostility only towards women. They also express hostility towards men who don’t hate women sufficiently. In the comments to Price’s post declaring me a father-demonizing mother and child-hater, the regulars attack me, variously, as “slimy,” “a bottom feeder,” “evil,” and “a sleazy predator in disguise” who is “too repulsive to even get into proximity of any young women.”
But it’s the rape jokes/threats that are the most charming, from Troll King’s PS at the end of one comment:
PS. FUck mantits. I still wanna titty fuck that little cunt. I bet they are nice and soft…nohomo…
To Judo-chop’s fond recollection of a rape threat from the past:
The best was that troll a couple years back who wished Manboobz would get anally raped. LOL. Futrelle totally lost it when he heard that.
Actually, the most recent anal rape “wish” was just a couple of months ago.
Pro-tip: If you want to prove to the world how totally non-abusive you guys are, you’re doing it wrong.
I had a cousin who destroyed a Honda Civic once…
This is actually Bill Price’s third marriage.
Welp, that pretty much covers all the available categories of people in MRACartoonLand. What was the point, again?
It’s true. The U.S. is now capable of unleashing a hundred-megaton intercontinental no-fault agreement. It works by triggering a nuclear-family-splitting chain reaction of selfish evil harpies.
@House Mouse Queen, mythago
Everything’s fine now. He apologized and didn’t try to make any excuses for himself. Things will get better soon too since I’m (voluntarily) moving out within two weeks. If I didn’t have this anxiety and trauma-like emotional reaction to anger, I probably wouldn’t even be bothered.
The best way for MRAs to convince the world that they care about male rape victims is to make rape threats against a man amiright?
That’s the frustrating thing – unlike the standard MRA crap about men being oppressed by women working/not working/having sex/not having sex/being attractive/not being attractive, the social tendency to trivialized sexual assault of men is a real problem! They’ve identified a genuine issue that actually needs advocacy!
And what do they do about it? They 1) claim it’s somehow all the fault of feminism, and 2) make the problem worse by actively threatening guys they don’t like with rape, and making it clear they think it’s funny to do so. At this point I have no hope of seeing any actual meaningful advocacy from them, but at the very least, they could not actively contribute to the problem. (I used to it was pathetic that MRAs had set the bar for advocacy so low that you could outdo them by simply saying “Hey, it’d be good to support Just Detention” in public. Now I think they’ve set the bar so low that going “Rape threats against guys are not okay” in any social context ever outdoes pretty much their entire movement.)
RE: ako
Is there any sexual assault that ISN’T trivialized socially? I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s horrible, but as a survivor of sexual assault who has disclosed to people who perceived my gender in a variety of different ways… the WAY it was trivialized changed, but not the trivialization itself.
When people thought I was a girl, they’d respond to my rape with, “Why did you let him do that to you?” or, “How could you? You were dating!” The trivialization was focused on indignation, as though I was somehow personally wronging my rapist by saying he raped me. I was a bad person.
When people thought I was a guy, they’d respond with, “Welp, guess I’ll just have to do you prison style then,” or “hurr hurr, guess you have trouble getting it up now, hurr hurr.” The response was comedy, that I was somehow a failure at my gender for getting raped at all. I wasn’t a bad person, I was a bad MAN.
They were both incredibly shitty, but I can’t really say one was more shitty than the other.
Ally, your stepdad really is impossible to please, isn’t he? You take care and let us know if you need anything.
His argument seems to be that if women would learn their place and let men be the heads of their households as is right and good there would be no abuse, because it wouldn’t be needed.
But even if women did do their best to be “perfect wives” there would still be abuse because it’s not humanly possible to live up to the perfect selfless ideal that they expect.
So, he’s either a cog or a beneficiary of the Divorce-Industrial Complex™, then.
The assholish hypocrisy really is astounding.
You gotta love how one of them made a comment about how their patriarchal values equal pro-family values, and then another mentioned how he’d stop seeing his kids and stop all support if his wife got out of line.
The fact that all those losers have been rejected does my heart good.
@LBT I may be off mark on Ako’s intent here, but I don’t think they are saying that Men have it worse, merely that men have the same problem, And that instead of working from that angle to better ‘mens rights’ like they claim, the MRA continue to trivialize it anyway.
If this bloke reckons kids raised by single mothers have a bad time, and kids with stepfathers get abused and murdered, what about kids raised by single fathers? Or two fathers? The ABS says there are about 160,000 single dads raising kids in Australia.
http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/[email protected]/mediareleasesbyReleaseDate/65739D1F35984057CA257B66001BE136
We know the engineers haven’t been destroyed yet, because this!
http://youtu.be/mHXBL6bzAR4
I know a civil engineer who is a woman. A couple of ’em, actually.
I may be off mark on Ako’s intent here, but I don’t think they are saying that Men have it worse, merely that men have the same problem,
Yes, that was what I was aiming for. I wasn’t trying to claim that sexual assault of men was the only kind of sexual assault that got trivialized, just that it did get trivialized, and often in a specifically gendered way. Unlike the usual MRA complaints about women wronging men by holding jobs and wearing clothing some people find sexy and not being immune to aging, this is something that actually does need to get addressed. And instead of trying to address it, they’re making it worse.
There was a famous entry in the British Yellow Pages phonebook: “Boring – see Civil Engineers”.
But once it went the 1980s equivalent of viral, they dropped it.
I suspect women destroy CIVIes, breaking into the houses of soldiers, police officers and firefighters to cut up their regular clothes. Misandry!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*ahem*
@hippodemia8527 Amazing poem to quote and so apt. Nothing changes, does it?
Because by:
Price doesn’t actually mean pro-family. He means enforcing families that look exactly like his ideal of a “family” – so one heterosexual couple and their offspring.
And what do these “pro-family values” look like exactly? They aren’t values about the individuals that make up the family, are they? They don’t seem to include helping families support and feed themselves, or obtain good educations and good healthcare. Nope, it’s just ensuring that every family is forced to look like an identical unit with a man as its dictator as if that will magically cure all ills.
And even if his ass-data is correct and, currently, single mothers are more at risk of abuse from men who are not the fathers of their children than any other women are of abuse from either their husbands or the fathers of their children, he still hasn’t proved either:
1. If forced to be/remain married to the fathers of their children, these women and their children would have been at any less risk of abuse or:
2. Any society that espouses his so-called “pro-family” values has any lower level of abuse than one that doesn’t.
So “It’s not that we hate women and promote hateful views of them, it’s just that we despise them, fear them, feel they should have no rights, and blame them for everything that we consider wrong with the world.”
And “it’s not that we don’t care passionately about male victims of rape, but we reserve the right to threaten men who disagree with us with… er… rape.”
@ Wetherby, there used to be an enormous hoarding on the outskirts of Dubai proclaiming “Swiss Boring”. Just that: no other details. Used to make me chuckle.
David, I’m sorry you had to deal with these threats, and with people thinking they’re funny. These things tend to tale their toll, even when you shrug them off. Please take good care of yourself.
Thanks, girlscientist, and everyone else.
Ally, glad your stepfather apologized and you’re doing better. And thanks for the links. I was actually able to find a pdf of the one I quoted (one of my quotes is from the paper itself) b/c Google scholar now seems to link to publicly available pdfs (if available) when it lists papers behind a pay wall. I’m pretty sure this is new or newish. Very useful.
My big complaint with Price is intellectual hubris: like many mensrighters he spends a lot of time theorizing and building grand explanations of reality without fact-checking. Like, how could he write with a straight face that there were no female lamas? But they all do that and so their depictions of “reality” veer from silly to scary.
And perhaps a more serious sin on his part is his encouragement of his posse. He provides a haven for people to say the most ghastly things (see above) with minimal moderation so far as we can tell. That way he can say, “I didn’t say that.” but he gave aid and comfort to the ones who did.
@Hippodamia8527
Cool poem. Some people always say that its always better to stay for the children, but they’re always comparing a happy intact family with a family that has a long pattern of happiness to the extent that they got a divorce. How about they compare apples to apples and compare the results of leaving an unhappy relationship with the results of staying in an unhappy one? I bet things would look different.
People always act like women just up and leave their husbands for no reason. Maybe if they listened to women when they complained people wouldn’t be surprised when they left. I feel like a lot of people feel that women just complain, and it really doesn’t mean much, because women don’t really “mean” they’re complaints.
There are some spectacular examples of the two points I made above in Price’s oeuvre concerning the Shakers on his current front page.