In case anyone doubts that manosphere blogs encourage men who are already assholish to become even more assholish, here’s the latest reminder: a “Comment of the Week” from Heartiste’s terrible blog explaining why men should treat the women they love (or at least love having sex with) as badly as they possibly can.
In the comment, a former “beta male” calling himself Just Saying explains how he changed his ways after discovering the allegedly indisputable fact that women just love being treated like shit by the men in their lives — up to and including getting punched in the face:
I actually tried to see how “bad” I could be before women would jump-ship and found that such a point doesn’t exist. The worse I got in my behavior, the more they would try to appease me, and make me happy. I never hit them, and that is what made me realize that nothing you do is “too bad” for a woman, when I saw one with blackened eyes apologizing to the guy who did it.
Yeah, I don’t think that actually happened.
It became pretty obvious to see that to live well, you need to be as selfish as you can be when it comes to women.
Oh, but once in a while you need to be nice, just to fuck with their heads.
Now every now and then you have to do something nice – and it will floor them for the next year and you can treat them like dirt. Cheat on them, pretty much do whatever you want.
Even though you should never treat women nicely.
But you NEVER want to treat a woman “NICE”. I’ve had women comment – “You treat all of your friends so much better than you treat me.” And I respond – “That’s because they are my friends and you’re my lover and wouldn’t want it any other way.”
I’ll take “conversations that only happened in some dude’s head” for $200, Alex.
Let us pause for a moment so that Just Saying can indulge in some unverified alpha boasting:
Of course, I also never keep them around for long – although some of them have managed to make themselves so useful that I won’t willingly kick them to the curb – how can you veto a woman that actively brings other (younger) women to your bed?
It’s so tough being an imaginary alpha stud! Just remember: Always Be Mean.
When one woman tells you – “You can have every other woman you want – as long as you’ll still see me.” She has pretty much handed you the keys to the kingdom – and it is HARD to be mean to her, but if you aren’t she will leave. Every time I wake up next to her and want to tell her she is my ideal woman, I catch myself and remind myself to do something mean instead. That is against my nature – but it is what she needs.
Hey, he’s just giving the ladies what they really crave. He’s the BRAWNDO of shitty boyfriends.
So when she tells me, “You can have every other woman.” I’ll respond with something like, “And some times that means I want to enjoy them, without YOU!” Just so that she knows she is there at my whim – and that keeps her always trying to keep me happy.
I’ll take “conversations that only happened in some dude’s head” for $500, Alex.
And that seems to be what women need – to keep her man happy – but she needs to see she never succeeds – as when she succeeds, she’ll grow tired and bored – and this is the death of her excitement.
Well, I have no doubt that Just Saying has no trouble appearing unhappy.
But I love women enough to treat them like dirt. It can be hard to get your head around – but it’s like quantum mechanics, it doesn’t have to “make sense” to me, I just have to be able to use it to my advantage, and that is all I need.
That’s right: being a dick to women is just like quantum mechanics. And Just Saying is the Schrödinger of shitheads.
Contradictions are manly, apparently.
Oh, Or I suppose he is an abuser who knows his abuse is wrong, and is lying about it. But as was said before, having sick ideas and abusive behaviors get reinforced by bullshit Ideologies is dangerous, since it provides ‘justification’ Least in the abusers mind. Hence, If he *IS* an abuser, I Wouldn’t be surprised if he either really wants to believe the crap he is saying, Or he *Does* believe it.
Obviously, irregardless, Abuse is bad, and if he is actually doing it, he is responsible. so no one misunderstands my intent here.
The fucking problem
With fucking abuse
Is not that it doesn’t fucking work
Of course it fucking works
That’s the entire fucking reason abusers do it
The fucking problem
With fucking abuse
Is that you are hurting fucking human beings
On fucking purpose
I was just really upset by this, you know? Like, “it worked so she wanted it” is the most twisted thing anyone could ever think. If you want someone’s job, and you stab them to open up the position, and it works, does that mean you were justified because you got what you wanted? Does it mean they wanted to be stabbed?
Dude. Duuuuuuude. You know that these lines, by Sylvia Plath…
…are mockery, right? They’re not literally true.
And if you think they are, the more fool you.
I hope the cops come after you.
I hope they’re grateful for the fact that feminists aren’t as fond of doxxing as they are, because a lot of these guys are straight-up admitting to crimes.
What, like cats who go hunting and bring home “gifts” for their owners? Do these imaginary girlfriends deposit the 14 year old virgins on the doormat or inside his slippers?
His repeated use of “appease” is another big red flag. You don’t appease someone you want – you appease someone you’re afraid of.
@ Buttercup Q. Skullpants
I hate it when I have to pick 14 year old virgins out of my slippers. I had to stop dating women entirely, it just became too much. I couldn’t handle them leaving so many virgins in my slippers and at the foot of my bed.
@Buttercup: Christ, that dude sounds like Paul Bernardo. Only he persuaded Karla Homolka to drug her little sister for him to rape. And then the poor thing spoiled all the fun by choking to death on her own vomit. BTW, he got her to do it as a “wedding present”. Nice Guy™, eh?
I really wish Red Pill/PUA/MRAs would stop telling me that I’m attracted to so-called “alpha bad boys.” They don’t know me, or what kind of men I’m attracted to. Coincidently, being a “bad boy” or jerk in general is the number one way to get me to reject you. Bad boys are mean at best and sexual predators at worst. I’ve always preferred the kind person who cares about doing the right thing simply because it’s right.
Sadly, all the MRAs/PUAs on the Internet make me feel like all the truly nice guys are taken and I’m left with these jerks…
Mnemosyne – seconding all your first paragraph! Especially the part about ” I’ve always preferred the kind person who cares about doing the right thing simply because it’s right” – that’s my man all through.
There aren’t $500 Jeopardy clues anymore.
A good bit of snark in the personality is definitely a requirement for me to be interested in dating someone, but I really do mean snarky, not diabolically evil. Then again, “bad boy” in whiny dudebrospeak seems to just mean physically attractive in some way and/or has more personality than a deck chair.
If I’m supposed to be so attracted to these bad boys, why does everything they say and do just make me want to run screaming in any direction BUT towards them?
‘Tis a puzzlement…
“Bad boy” suggests to me a selfish, vain, egotistical type, possibly with some petty crime thrown in. It’s not attractive in the least, even if he is pretty – not least since it also suggests someone a lot younger than me, and that’s a huge turnoff all by itself. “Boy” is key here: I’ve never liked boys at all. It doesn’t have the racist history and connotations it does in the US.
These guys seem to think a man has to be either a spineless jellyfish or a possessor of the dark triad. There is apparently no middle ground to them.
Sad sacks with no self confidence at all aren’t terribly appealing and I’m seconding Cassandra on the necessity for an ability to snark. But, he still needs to be a good person. Nothing puts me off faster than sexism, racism, homophobia, classism, ableism or transphobia. I’m also not interested in someone who commits crimes (besides minor ones like pot smoking or jaywalking), is too irresponsible to keep from getting fired all the time and most of all a big nope to someone who does not understand and respect consent.
No matter how much these asshats tell me I’m longing to be with a major asshole, it simply won’t come to pass. I come from a long line of women who won’t take shit and that line won’t be broken with me!
Unfortunately abusers know how to sniff out people who are vulnerable. I vaguely remember reading about a study that showed evidence of this. Abusers could tell who had been abused in the past just by looking them. It’s really scary.
I remember that lecture at uni, where they showed us film of different people walking (no faces, you could really just see the posture and gait) and asked if we could tell which people were more likely to be targeted for attack by predators. There’s a very clear pattern. It’s part of the reason why I always think of predatory people as being kind of like sharks that have somehow developed the ability to walk and talk.
“I want to be nice to them, but they make you be mean so you can sleep with them! Wah!”
I’ll take Still A Beta for $500.
Or right on the carpet where it’s harder clean up rather than the tile in the kitchen.
@Bina
I had a brief run-in with these two (in short, they pulled me over late at night and Karla asked me for directions – to the place I was standing in front of. Luckily for me, I was rude to them and they drove away.) and I really, really need to point out that Karla not only agreed to this, but actively participated in the rape. And in trolling for young girls in small towns about a half-hour from where he lived. And in everything. Sorry, anything that makes her sound even remotely passive is a sore spot with me.
@WWTH
Now that you put it like that… yes! There’s no middle ground for women in their mind either. People are completely lacking in complexity to them. They are either A or Z.
I guess I’m weird, I would rather be in a relationship with a human being, not an archetype that can be summed up with a Greek letter.
I find arrogance and dominance extremely off-putting, and not a turn on at all. I hope this guy is just writing out his weird sexual fantasies and isn’t actually doing this stuff.
The comic at the top reminds me of that Psy song, “Gentleman.” I think he pulls a chair out from under a woman too.
lol that’s so the reality…. not.
First time poster here,
weirdwoodtreehugger wrote: “Unfortunately abusers know how to sniff out people who are vulnerable. I vaguely remember reading about a study that showed evidence of this. Abusers could tell who had been abused in the past just by looking them. It’s really scary.”
Mostly I think abusers, like predators, are opportunistic and very aware of situations where they hold an advantage, where so to speak, the balance of power is in their favor. If they don’t have it from the get go, they work diligently to get there. I would like to think that many women did not willfully entered in an abusive relationship but were deceived into it. It just evolves over time from honeymoon to the Raft of the Medusa as the creep strips off his Prince Charming suit in slow motion.
Argh!