Thought Catalog – which seems to be rapidly becoming the go-to site for terrible antifeminist posts – is making a bit of a stir on Reddit with a post bearing the deliberately provocative title “Wait A Second, Did Amy Schumer Rape a Guy?” Spoiler Alert: The anonymous author concludes that yes, she did. The anonymous author is full of shit.
In the Thought Catalog piece, Anonymous takes a look at a speech that Schumer – a comedian with some subversive feminist leanings — recently gave at the Gloria Awards and Gala, hosted by the Ms. Foundation for Women. The centerpiece of Schumer’s speech, a bittersweet celebration of confidence regained, was a long and cringeworthy story about a regrettable sexual encounter she had in her Freshman year of college, when her self-esteem was at an all-time low.
The short version of the story: A guy named Matt, whom Schumer had a giant crush on, called her at 8 AM for a booty call, after he apparently had been turned down by every other woman in his little black book. Amy, thinking she was being invited for an all-day-date, only discovered his real intent when she got to his dorm room and he romantically drunkenly pushed her onto the bed and started fingering her.
After several failed attempts at intercourse, and what she describes as an “ambitious” attempt to go down on her, he finally gave up and fell asleep on top of her. Lying there listening to Sam Cooke, she decided she didn’t want to be “this girl” any more, “waited until the last perfect note floated out, and escaped from under him and out the door.”
Looking back on the incident, she thanks her failed lover for introducing her “to my new self, a girl who got her value from within her.”
But Thought Catalog’s anonymous author, noting the extreme drunkenness of Schumer’s stumbling lover, concludes that “Amy’s actions may have constituted as rape in the eyes of her college, Towson University.” (Or at least according to the school’s current policies.)
Anonymous quotes Towson’s current policy on sexual harassment, which states:
In order to give effective Consent, one must not be mentally or physical incapacitated (e.g., by alcohol or drugs, unconsciousness, mental disability).
And adds:
It’s hard to argue that Matt was not mentally incapacitated. In Amy’s words, he was “wasted.”
Actually, the fact that Matt wasn’t too intoxicated to initiate an assortment of sexual acts with her — or to get up and change the music at her request — suggests that he wasn’t “mentally incapacitated,” at least by the standards used by colleges when investigating alleged sexual assaults. The Association of Title IX Administrators’ Gender-Based and Sexual Misconduct Model Policy (which sets an unofficial standard for college administrators) defines incapacitation as “a state where someone cannot make rational, reasonable decisions because they lack the capacity to give knowing consent (e.g., to understand the ‘who, what, when, where, why or how’ of their sexual interaction).”
In any case, it’s not clear why Anonymous is looking at Towson’s sexual harassment policy, which is designed to deal with “non-consensual Sexual Contact, Sexual Exploitation, or requests for sexual favors that affect educational or employment decisions,” and which clearly doesn’t apply to Schumer’s story.
As for sexual assault, the school’s official web site states:
Sexual assault is defined by Towson University as forcible sexual intercourse, sexual penetration–however slight–of another person’s genital or anal opening with any object, sodomy, or any unwanted touching of an unwilling person’s intimate parts or forcing an unwilling person to touch another’s intimate parts. Under this definition, these acts must be committed either by force, threat, intimidation, or through the use of the victim’s mental or physical helplessness, of which the accuser was or should have been aware. This includes, but is not limited to, victim helplessness resulting from intoxication or from the taking of a so-called “date-rape drug.”
This definition is drawn from the University of Maryland System Policy on Sexual Assault, which classifies sexual assault involving penetration — the traditional definition of rape — as a more serious type of sexual assault (Sexual Assault I) than those forms of sexual assault involving touching (Sexual Assault II). By this standard, assuming we equate Sexual Assault I with rape, Schumer clearly did not rape him.
Anonymous then looks at Maryland’s state laws and concludes:
In the eyes of Maryland state law, things get a bit more complicated. Amy could be guilty of rape or sexual assault depending on whether or not penetration was achieved. According to the state law, a person may not engage in vaginal intercourse with another “if the victim is a mentally defective individual, a mentally incapacitated individual, or a physically helpless individual, and the person performing the act knows or reasonably should know that the victim is a mentally defective individual, a mentally incapacitated individual, or a physically helpless individual.” Legally, it’s hard to argue that it wasn’t rape, at least given the details in Amy’s speech.
Well, actually, yes it is. And not just legally, but by any reasonable definition of the word “rape.”
Because Schumer, at least by her account, wasn’t “the person performing the act.” He was. She was lying there wondering what had gone wrong with her life.
If you read the speech in its entirety, instead of depending on the selective quotations in the Thought Catalog post, this is abundantly clear. As she describes it, he:
Pushes her down on the bed; as she writes, he does “that sexy maneuver where the guy pushes you on the bed, you know, like, ‘I’m taking the wheel on this one. Now I’m going to blow your mind. …’”
Penetrates her with his fingers; as she writes, “[h]is fingers poked inside me like they had lost their keys in there.”
Tries to have intercourse, though his penis is only half-willing; she describes him as “pushing aggressively into my thigh, and during this failed penetration, I looked around the room to try and distract myself or God willing, disassociate.” Even using the “made to penetrate” standard, she’s not raping him, because she’s not making him do anything; he’s the active one.
Goes down on her.
Attempts intercourse again; this time, “[o]n his fourth thrust, he gave up and fell asleep on my breast.”
At no point in Schumer’s story does she describe herself as initiating anything. Indeed, she spends much of the time thinking to herself how much she wants to leave.
He started to go down on me. That’s ambitious, I think. Is it still considered getting head if the guy falls asleep every three seconds and moves his tongue like an elderly person eating their last oatmeal? … Is it? Yes? It is. I want to scream for myself, “Get out of here, Amy. You are beautiful, you are smart, and worth more than this. This is not where you stay.”
If a woman initiates sex with a man who is too drunk to consent, that’s rape. But a woman lying motionless trying to dissociate while a man tries to penetrate her is not a rapist. Even if he is drunk.
And that’s the case no matter how you switch the genders up.
Of course that’s not how they see things on Reddit, where most of those who’ve commented on the story have been quick to agree with the Thought Catalog author that Schumer raped her partner. Ironically, it’s been those outside the Men’s Rights subreddit who have been the most outspoken on this point. In TwoXChromosomes, a subreddit ostensibly devoted to women but in fact overrun with MRAs and other antifeminists, someone calling herself Shield_Maiden831 has gotten more than 200 net upvotes for a comment concluding that “[i]f you really believe in equality, then it seems to be a clear cut case from her own admission.”
Not everyone agrees. Elsewhere in TwoX , one commenter by the name of critropolitan argues, I think quite cogently, that
Unless the full transcript reveals something that the quotes in the article don’t, it doesn’t seem like Schumer exploited this guys mental state to do something to him that violated his will.
He was the one who called her.
He was the one who acted every step of the way and she went along with it.
Assuming that a person who is drunk is, automatically, in virtue of being drunk, without agency, is a mistake. It is moreover a mistake only made with regard to sex – no one thinks the same with regard to bar fights or the choice to drive. Drunken sex might not be the platonic ideal of sex, but it is not automatically rape in every case regardless of the actual state of minds, wishes, and feelings of the participants. …
There is no suggestion that Amy engaged in any sexual contact with this guy while he was passed out, or that she did something he didn’t want to do but he simply lacked the capacity to effectively resist or communicate non consent. Instead he was drunk enough to show significant signs of drunkeness, but not so drunk that he couldn’t not only communicate effectively but take a sexual initiative.
Rapists can exploit the vulnerability of drunk people, but we must walk back from the bizarre and agency-denying position that all drunk sex is rape. Rape is far too serious a matter for this bullshit.
It is.
But of course the MRAs and antifeminists on Reddit now accusing Schumer of rape aren’t interested in taking rape seriously. Indeed, if we look back on how they regularly talk about rape and issues of consent, it’s clearly they’re interested in taking rape less seriously. Their main interest in this case is as a supposed “gotcha” of a prominent female comedian with feminist leanings. In the process they are slandering her, and trivializing the real issue of rape.
@J.J.
Oh ugh. 🙁 *faith in humanity lowers a little more*.
THIS.
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/41/politics/drunk-sex-rape-1438515/
Ugh. This website is a site I used to post on a lot because I played poker. You’ll find what you normally find with 20-something privileged (generally) white men. And it’s frustrating because I feel like such a small voice in a sea of assholes.
Glad you posted this. Embarrassed to say I fell for the propaganda, the selective quoting.
This *is* a disturbing hook up. Neither person is having a healthy, good time experience: one is self-intoxicating to act out-of-character. The other is low self esteem and seems to struggle with shame issues throughout.
But the bottom line is: both wanted sex and both were sober enough to control their thoughts and actions. Matt coordinated events and initiated the only acts that could be rape, and they weren’t rape because Schumer consented too.
We could have a dialogue about unhealthy sex and life choices. Invite sex critical feminists and they’d make interesting points about how consent is compromised by institutional power dynamics too. But for an operational definition of rape, this just was not rape.
Just in case you haven’t seen this…. AMA: Cat Men’s Rights Advocate
@Faint praise
um woowww where did you get the idea they both wanted sex?
And the reason I linked that here is that the latest posts in that thread has people talking about having a blood alcohol level that when you blow becomes the line between “consent/not able to consent” and that’s just… so infuriating!!! The hoops these people are jumping through in order to not stop their behavior is ridiculous. When “be a good person” is no longer enough…
closetpuritan – yup, that was linked yesterday; can’t remember which thread. Priceless stuff! 😀
RE: Kittehs
Ugh, you’re right. Sorry.
RE: J.J
It’s the violation that’s arousing.
Yeah, and THAT is just skeezy as fuck.
@LBT
<blockquoteYeah, and THAT is just skeezy as fuck.
Yup. I had the pleasure of having sex with a guy who enjoyed making me feel violated and then getting mad that I would, for instance, cry. At least he taught me that anyone who thinks violating your boundaries in some way is sexy is someone to get the hell away from, and fast.
On a lighter note how is there a hat on that cat? Is it easier to get hats on cats than on dogs? My dog won’t even let me get a Santa hat on him. It’s like LOL NO HAT I EAT IT AND THEN STEAL CHRISTMAS COOKIES.
@Marie
From reading the transcript. Schumer says she wants that intimacy, if I understood her. And it seems understood by all that Matt called her to invite her to have sex.
I don’t think she enjoyed it and I’d *welcome* a sex-critical discussion of the things that went wrong. She doesn’t say she wanted it to stop though. She sought out sex, had mixed feelings during but didn’t try or want it to stop.
I don’t think we can have a functional definition of rape where bad sex that people wanted is illegal.
I think it was bad sex too, but I’m not sure a sex-critical discussion is warranted, especially because I don’t think you’re here in the greatest of faiths.
Yeesh. What a creepy story.
@faint praise
I read the transcript. She doesn’t say she didn’t want sex during their encounter, which isn’t the same thing as saying she wants sex. :/
Again, ‘not a no’ is not the same as a yes.
What does ‘sex-critical discussion’ even MEAN?
So, Drunk-Ass Dude gets down to Amy’s name on his booty-call list, thrusts himself on her (drunkenly)…and SHE’s the rapist? Uh-uh.
Yet another example of how Thought Catalog’s dreck-writers utterly fail at this thing we call thinking.
Faint Praise – I’ve only read David’s summary, but this:
doesn’t suggest to me she was expecting or wanting sex.
@HellKell
I’ve been around for a while though I comment rarely. Not even familiar enough to know how to dredge up my profile so I googled myself on this site for some examples. A few articles use the term “faint praise” (it’s a good one!) but most of those are me.
LBT: I think it’s where we shame for being this dude’s drunk booty call.
^shame HER
What kittehserf quoted. Also the part where she wasn’t actually engaging with him and was just trying to dissociate. Looks like sexual assault to me.
RE: hellkell
But… she didn’t KNOW…
oh god why am I trying to make sense of this.
@LBT
Basically interrogating “consent”: is this even a strong enough standard to keep us safe and healthy? You get a lot of this from feminists that reject “sex positivity” (though I’m not among them).
A classic example is that in a very patriarchal society, women might know they’d face serious consequences if they refused their husbands (even if the law recognizes marital rape – we know that hasn’t always been the case) and might “consent” to sex… How meaningful is her apparent (possibly even to herself) consent in the context of this institutional power? Or: what if she really wants sex – luckily – but wouldn’t be able to stop it even if she didn’t consent? Can we consent where refusal is impossible?
@Marie, kittehserf, others:
Most importantly I agree “not a no” is not the same as yes. I also agree you could build a reasonable case that this wasn’t consensual – I’m not here trying to be oppositional, and I hate dissecting these “gotcha” cases instead of stating the principles clearly and then advocating that sex, in practice, clearly lives up to those strong principles. That’s the better use of our time.
I also think there’s a good case (my reading) that it was consensual. I’ll share two big hints, and I’m interested in your takes too but I hope this isn’t a brewing dramastorm. It’s a sensitive topic and I’m not excusing any amount of non-consent.
First the context of the text. Schumer doesn’t seem to be trying to relate a rape story, doesn’t call it rape, doesn’t explicitly say she was violated and I don’t think she even expresses any hurt feelings about what *Matt* did (she is upset with herself though). Admittedly not all rape victims recognize rape either but this is strong evidence.
The second hint is from the text: When she realizes its a booty call she says, in part:
And other clues. She calls his drunken oral sex “ambitious” not offensive. She is clearly upset during but as I read it, she always expresses this anger at herself:
she wants to have sex and she wants to enjoy it, even with this drunk slob, to prove to herself she’s lovable. That’s a bad, sad self-deceptive reason to consent to sex (but nevertheless she did – my reading at least), which I think is the point of the story.
Again, this second hint could be a rape victims rationalizations but I think it is strong evidence against that. I think it’s a common enough story about shame during consensual sex. That happens even during some good sex, and when sex is bad it must be even more of an epiphany: how did I get here?
LBT: I didn’t say it made sense.
@HellKell,
sex critical feminists run in the other direction. Where victim blaming erases rape, sex critical positions expand the definition to include more cases. I think we’re talking past each other because it’s clear I’ve been mistaken for a bad faith troll, and I’m sure you get enough of those here… sorry about the mess I made and I’ll duck out.