Let’s take another stroll through the strange wonderland of Men Going Their Own Way, that small and bitter tribe of men who boldly declare their independence from women, then spend the rest of their lives obsessively talking about them.
Today, let’s look at the thoughtful discussion that ensued when one such fellow known as TDG asked his Brothers in Going Their Own Way why, of all the women they have Gone Their Own Way from (but not really), they tend to prefer women who are “chaste.”
For women, I’m guessing the main reason they weren’t so slutty before the 1950s, was because of the fear of having a bastard womb turd, but the pill changed all that and now they can have as many dicks as they like.
Now, I wont ever marry again and my ex-wife was a virgin and all that went to shit, but here’s my question;
Why do men want women that are chaste…?
I understand on a visceral level, that if a woman has had too many dicks, I can never care for her more than a cum rag, but I’m curious if that is societal conditioning or something that is innate to men…
Thoughts gentlemen…?
Unsurprisingly, the gentlemen of the MGTOW HQ forum did indeed have many thoughts on the subject. (I’ve bolded the most intriguing bits.)
ManWithAPlan had an economic explanation:
Because by going through the “bad boy” phase, they fuck away their only worth. There are three things I look for in a woman (mainly). Attractiveness, fertility and youth. If a woman is attractive and young, but can’t have kids, most men will treat her as a cum rag. If she’s fertile and young, but not attractive, she’s still no good to most men. If she’s old and attractive, she’s back to being a cougar and a cum rag.
Multishadow brought in biology:
[B]iologically speaking women represent a fertile ground for man to plant his seed, and no one wants to plant his seed in a garbage dump.
Second, a man must work to earn a woman, and then invest in her.. and no man wants to work for what others gain for free, or for what was freely given out in the past. There is also resentment for a female gaining sex freely, when a man must work for it.
And that is the third issue, people in general have a distaste for those who are gluttons for pleasure. … It is one thing to obtain sex when you want it, but if your only purpose in life is laying around having sex.. it is like watching an obese person eat.
That’s right: people who have a lot of sex are basically sex fatties. And no one likes a fatty, right?
Aldenhamil suggested that chaste women were a better bargain for frugal men:
Just having random sex is one thing and any old cum dumpster will usually do, but settling down with a woman, having children, and providing for them is something altogether different. It’s a massive investment of time, energy, and resources. Men naturally lean towards frugality and appreciate getting the most bang for their buck. When it comes to women>children>family, it’s a better bet to invest in a woman who isn’t swinging from every cock in town. …
Men instinctively know that whores make poor long-term investments, but they also instinctively know that all women will become whores if given the opportunity. The whole situation is a bit of a clusterfuck, really. It was a problem for Bronze Age societies, and it’s still a problem long after we’ve managed to put human beings in outer space.
Ghost Rider noted that “chaste” women won’t have had a lot of other guys to compare you to, so chances are good she won’t know how mediocre you are in bed:
From my observations, the more men a woman has been with, the greater the chance that she is carrying at least one torch if not more for some guy that dumped her. I believe the term is alpha widow. Seen quite a few times where a woman dumps hubby to get back with a guy she was carrying a torch for, or at least conduct a torrid affair with the guy when he came a calling.
In addition, she is more likely to get back on the cock carousel trying to recapture what she thought she had when she was younger. Also, a woman who hasn’t ridden the cock carousel is a lot less judgmental in the bedroom because she isn’t comparing you to the hundreds of guys she’s been in the sack with. If you’re an average guy, you’re probably not at the same level as the alpha thug with the huge cock that fucked the shit out of her all night. If you’re dumb enough to get married/remarried, who the hell needs that shit in addition to everything else.
Demonsgate, meanwhile, seems to be more terrified of being judged by other guys than by the women he dates:
Real simple because in my younger days when I walked into a bar or restaurant with a twat I didn’t want all you bastards laughing saying yep we all fucked her and this fool is dating her. Who wants to be that guy?
Mongolking answered TDG’s question with his own question:
I think the larger question is “Why Do We Want Them… At All?”
Given that this discussion is taking place on a forum devoted to Men Going Their Own Way, this seems like a reasonable enough question.
And I’ll give you all an answer: If you hate women so much you regularly describe them as “cum rags,” “cum dumpsters,” “garbage dumps,” “whores,” “twats,” or any of the other horrible things said by guys in this thread about women in the equally awful comments I didn’t quote, you should take that Going Your Own Way shit a little bit more seriously. Go your own way. Go a long way, off a short pier.
Forgot to add, standing ovation for your comment here, Michelle. So much of that speaks to me, particularly about sex as a want, not a need (how the dudebros hate being told they won’t actually die if they don’t get sex on demand). My man and I were in love for over a quarter century before we finally got in contact, and much as I wished for sex, there were SO many more important things about him than that. And hey, Random Douchecanoe, where size matters, it’s not at all about bigger is better. On the contrary, I’m not in the least interested in having a huge penis inside me, nor for that matter in having a huge man. A guy being three inches taller’n me is ample. I do not like being loomed over.
The tile texture is a nice touch! I expect this to go in our DA group.
Yes ma’am! ::salutes::
You feeling better yet, katz? I’m in jetlag zombieland.
Drat, left out the html – Michelle’s comment here.
Ooh people who have read The Long Earth!! Do you mind if I squee at you about it? I love it so much and the only person I know IRL who is inclined to understand why (non-human people clearly portrayed as both of those things! non-anthropocentric parallel universes! clear disdain for humanity’s ego! AI’s that are actually intelligent!) is too lazy to read the books.
Ahem, don’t mind me. Just over here fangirling over Terry Pratchett.
Yes, I’m feeling better. I’m really sorry I didn’t get to meet you and Cloudiah, though!
Glad you’re better, and likewise!
You’d have been proud of us, though. We went into Shopping Enabler mode.
I sporfled. Glad you’re feeling better, katz, and hope you get out of jetlag zombieland, kittehs! I have a flight to NYC tomorrow at 6 am, which means leaving my place around 3:45 am. I am not looking forward to the sound of my alarm clock! I dropped the kitties at their boarder today, and they were NOT happy about it–there will be cat anger consequences this time, I am sure.
3.45 am
Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Just tell the kitties you’re already being punished by having to get up so early and do such a long trip (what is it, about 6-8 hours to NYC?)
Kittehserf,
Fedora sportin Justinian is perfect!
Long Earth squee-ing? I am in! Not finished the book yet, but LOVE it.
Re: the size matters thing. When I was a phone sex gal, soooooo many guys would tell me they had these enormous cocks. The younger they were, the larger their cock (generally). 18-yr-old guys would be all ‘yeah, I got 12 inches baby’ and I’d be like ‘sweetheart, that’s like the size of an assorted sub.’ I always felt sad that they had this idea of penis size being the be-all-end-all and made an effort to not encourage it.
Well, last time they were so happy that I returned that there was no punishment, but I can’t be that lucky twice.
The place I board them has about 25 permanent residents — cats that owners just left there, without ever returning to pick them up. The business owner keeps them forever, and pays their food/vet bills. How could a person just leave their cat and not come pick them up!??! O_o
Seriously, did everybody let Random Dumbass get by with the “can’t teach size” thing? DUDE THERE ARE DILDOS. YOU CAN BUY THEM. FOR REALLY FUCKING CHEAP EVEN.
Seriously, you can get cock-shaped toys in every size under the fucking sun! You can even wear them on various parts of your body so you can best use them as is comfortable!
Why on earth do heterosexuals rule the world? “Can’t buy size,” my gay ass!
Also, you can get insertable toys in other shapes! Yes, you can get that damn unicorn horn or tentacle that you’ve always wanted! Human ingenuity and engineering, everybody!
I feel so, so sorry for any woman Random Doofus is with, if he doesn’t even realize DILDOS exist. Oy gevalt!
Ugh, I just got to Undfreeland’s comment at just after 2 and I’m sorry that I gave him an opening to TMI at everyone. Since he already has, though – dude, you are not going to find any sympathy here for the idea that you should get to take advantage of someone else’s lack of experience as a way to avoid facing your own insecurities. This is a you problem, not a sexually experienced women being horrible problem (which idea, btw? still misogyny).
Lea – thanks! 🙂
LBT –
Nope, dildos and other toys were mentioned in response.
Cassandra – eh, more mocking opportunities, I’d call it.
@Tracy
It’s all kinds of brilliant, isn’t it? Since you haven’t finished it yet, I won’t say too much, but seriously this is everything I want from sci-fi. I’m not even particularly invested in the characters, I just want to know everything about that world. I really want to figure out how it all works – I’ve got my own theories, and there are more hints in the second book, but I really want to know.
Thanks, Kittehserf.
OK, now I have to get my hands on that book. I love Terry Pratchett.
Where is my library card, darn it?
@undfreeland
That whooshing sound? That’s the sound of the point flying over your head at 100 mph.
Dude, I get it: You had a crappy relationship with someone who didn’t care about you very much. It happens. It might make you feel sad, and angry even, for a time, especially since you wanted more from the relationship. That’s understandable. What your experience doesn’t do, however, is justify misogyny. You chose to be with that person. Learn from the experience and move on. It’s not the ‘experienced’ part that made your ex bad relationship material, it’s the ‘bad relationship material’ part that made her bad relationship material. Learn to recognize the signs and make sure not to go after the same kind of person again. Your logical leap of “women who are experienced -> bad women with whom you should never be in a relationship” is indefensible, and based on nothing else than age-old misogynistic beliefs about what a good girl should be.
One personal experience pitted against another: My more experienced SO has never, ever compared me to her exes, except sometimes in a positive way (protip: contrary to what you seem to think, being eager to learn can be a very sexy quality in the eyes of a woman). I consider myself lucky to have met a mature, adult person who treats others like full human beings instead of body parts. Do consider in return that you might just have met, and for some inexplicable reason I can’t quite fathom stayed in a two-year relationship with, a shallow, mean-spirited person (assuming you’re not just looking through bitter-tainted glasses right now). They’re not, like, even a fraction of the people out there. Stop universalizing your own bad experience to a whole group of people. If I did that, I’d currently go around thinking all dentists like to crush little kids’ self-esteem for shits and giggles.
Wait, what do you mean they all do that?
Kittenserf:
Hagia Basileia!
Somehow I suspect that an inexperienced woman would be even more likely to buy into the idea that sex should work out without explicit communication.
As for me, I’m such an awkward guy that in my youth I sort of intuitively assumed sex must be negotiated verbally. There was some cognitive dissonance with mainstream cultural ideas about sex. Everything settled down nicely when I started extensively reading sex-positive blogs, most of all Pervocracy. If my hypothetical partner doesn’t like communication, I can’t please them and they certainly can’t please me.
As Pat Califia once concluded in an essay, “God bless America”.
Arctic Ape – 🙂
Random Pester, you are a selfish shit-stain. Your whole ambition is to find a woman who has had either no or a crappy sex life and then inflict a crappy sex life on her in the hope that she never realises. You wish to condemn her to a crappy sex life for the rest of her life, just to appease your pathetic ego. And you think you’re the victim in all this
You know what, RandomPester, if your hopes had been to find a woman with similar sexual needs/desires to your own & to ensure you both understood each other, we’d all be being pretty supportive.
But no, you want to trap a woman & hold onto her through ignorance. You are utterly contemptible.
So let me see…
I was wrong about Katz, about Marie, and about Michelle.
But I was right* about Robert.
I think I now have a better hit rate than PUAs. (so long as I quit now, while I’m statisticaly ahead) (based on memories of one PUA who actually admitted his statistics here rather than confounding them… regulars might remember who I mean)
Obvious proof that I am telepathic. OBVIOUS.
@howard bannister
I, for one, welcome you as one of my telepathic overlords!:D