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entitlement evil sexy ladies friend zone misogyny nice guys rape culture

Check out my interview about the dreaded Friend Zone on Amanda Marcotte's Reality Check Podcast

Like video games, the friend zone is not real.
Like video games, the friend zone is not real.

If you missed my talk at Northwestern on the Friend Zone, and most of you did, I go over a lot of what I said in it in my interview with Amanda Marcotte here. My segment of the podcast starts about 8 minutes in. (The rest of the podcast is interesting, too.)

The one thing missing from the podcast that my talk had was … a gazillion terrible Friend Zone memes to illustrate all my points. So here are a couple of the ones I refer to in the interview.

if-you-spend-40and-hours-a-week-in-friend-zone_a

fzfPersonalityconsolationprize

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hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

racnad: It’s really half past fuck off o’clock for you. Go away, troll boy.

Fade
10 years ago

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh

guys who violate people’s spaces and act like rapists people have known are shitty. If a woman thinks a guy is dangerous and avoids him, it is not her fault that he cannot get dates.

in fact, why are you so obbsessed with getting dates?

fromafar2013
fromafar2013
10 years ago

The whole point of the friendzone concept as “rape culture” for some women is to crap on men who already feel crapped on.

Maybe one day you’ll know a guy who assumes you’re lying about something when you’re being honest because he knows he’s been lied to several times in the past by women who found honesty uncomfortable.

Abloobloobloo. Cry more. My mug is getting empty. I need more tears for the man hating ritual my coven is having this Esbat.

http://www.amazon.com/Funny-Coffee-Mug-Male-Tears/dp/B00I2U7JFE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1400885089&sr=8-1&keywords=male+tears

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Oh, is it assbackwards day? Someone really should have told me so that I could wear my underpants on my head in honor of trollboy’s deliberate cluelessness.

Marie
Marie
10 years ago

@Racnad

But I’m not talking rape or rapists. I’m talking about lumping ordinary guys who never raped anyone into the same category as rapists because they have trouble establishing consensual romantic relationships and describe their failed attempts at getting a girlfriend as a “friendzone.”

Wow those poor fucking babies. Their failed attempts got labled the friendzone by themselves, they’re the ones who wanted a word for when women don’t eat niceness coins and desposit sex coins.

We just make fun of them for it.

Fade
10 years ago

@fromafar

i need that mug…

Marie
Marie
10 years ago

@fromafar

I need that mug :p

Ally S
10 years ago

It doesn’t have to be, but it is less abrupt and uncomfortable than “NO!” And more honest and unambiguous than falsely claiming to be too busy.

Let me get my tiny violin…

Marie
Marie
10 years ago

@racnad

I think you just don’t like us challenging your views that men should take responsibility for their own actions.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

RE: Marie

it’s not okay for gay men to make het men uncomftorable. That’s just obscene!

RE: racnad

But I’m not talking rape or rapists.

You were talking about abusers just a few posts ago, dude. Sexual abuse happened to be the dish du jour of my family. Or do I get to put them in a separate category because you can’t handle that?

they have trouble establishing consensual romantic relationships and describe their failed attempts at getting a girlfriend as a “friendzone.”

“Consensual romantic relationships.” As opposed to… what, exactly? Do you even SEE what you’re writing?

If it’s THEIR failed attempts, then they’re friendzoning themselves.

And you ain’t answered my question. I’m a gay man. Do I get to stare at your crotch and drool until you politely tell me to stop?

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

You see, Mammoths, I got grabbed and groped by a dude hanging outside my apartment complex not long ago. He was deaf, but obviously I should’ve just politely explained to him in my best writing that I did not want to be grabbed.

Or is it totally a different thing because I’m a dude? I’m sure I was just friendzoning him, refusing to give him a consensual romantic relationship there in the street…

fromafar2013
fromafar2013
10 years ago

Also, your beef with the friend zone is basically this:

A woman was raped or abused (as many are, as many as 1 in 5). Or lives in a society where sexual assault is a common danger.

Your boundary pushing behavior reminds her of the rapist or abuser, maybe even only a little. She chooses to avoid you as a result, just in case.

Poor you? What?

Marie
Marie
10 years ago

@LBT

I don’t know. We should wait for Racnad to rationally explain it. :p

Also, you quoted me and didn’t reply? Sorry I am confused

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

Rapists are ordinary guys, fuckwad. They aren’t a mystical species. They are just men who, like you, think women owe them access to their bodies. http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/meet-the-predators/

Educate yourself, you mewling sack of shit.

…and no, you aren’t challenging anything. You are upholding the status quo. That ain’t edgy. It ain’t smart. It’s just more smarmy, rape culture bullshit spew from the lips of one more clueless, entitles douchebag. You have no right to expect anything but derision. You’ve earned our contempt.

Fade
10 years ago

@LBT sorry you had to deal with that guy :/

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

There seems to be a pattern here.

1. Man does thing/invents idea
2. Women respond in an unfavorable manner.
3. Other man blames women for doing/inventing thing.
4. At some point he’s bound to claim that men are more logical than women, just for the extra irony points.

fromafar2013
fromafar2013
10 years ago

@ everyone who likes the mug

Read the reviews. They’re hilarious. Even the 1 star one. ;D

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

We’ve just glossed over the fact that this jerk is acting as if women’s friendship is a punishment. Don’t we know we’re only good for one thing? How dare we decide who we do and don’t want to fuck? Don’t we know that makes Rancid sad in his pants?
*spit*
*sad trombone*

Rancid, don’t come here telling us you need women to teach you how to reproach women and then inform us (some of whom are women) what women are like. It’s condescending and it’s fucking stupid. Go eat your fedora.

Fade
10 years ago

friendzoners lament to the tune of angel by sarah mclachlan (some the syllables are off but i tried)

spend all your time begginng
her to give you a chaaaaance
for a bone that would make you okay
there’s always some reason
to feel entitlement
and you’re hard at the end of the day
you want some distraction
oh beautiful release
but people aren’t things you can use
we have our wants
and individualities and maybe
you’ll get a clue tonight

keep cryyying your eyes out
we’ll be away from you
from your creepy manipulation
with the honesty you fear
you are trapped by the wreckage
of your loud mantears
we’re here in the friendzone
may you leave us alone

so tired of the straight guys
but everywhere you turn
there’s vultures and thieves at my back
and guys keep on creeping
I keep on building the lies
that get them off of my back
it don’t make no difference
escaping one last time
it’s so easy they believe in this nonexistence
this friendzone that puts us in unease

keep crying you r eyes out
we’ll be away from you
from your creepy manipulation
with the honesty you fear
you are trapped by the wreckage
of your loud mantears
we’re here in the friendzone
may you finally leave us alone

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

approach women…
Freudian slip?

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

RE: Marie

Also, you quoted me and didn’t reply?

Sorry, I borked it and forgot to respond. Basically, just the hypocrisy makes me snort. Yeah, straight boy, I’m sure you’d just LOVE me ogling you and expressing my appreciation of your nubile form. Uh huh.

RE: Fade

sorry you had to deal with that guy

It’s okay. He seems to have moved on. Now I have a NEW creeper to deal with at the local park! 😀 Thankfully, also easy to avoid.

Marie
Marie
10 years ago

@LBT

Eeps. Sucks you have a creeper, though I’m glad to hear you he’s easy to avoid.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

Aw, but Dave, then racnad would have to give up his little martyr complex! THINK OF HIS MARTYR COMPLEX DAVE.

Seriously, only straight boys would come up with this stupid idea that people not wanting to enter “consensual romantic relationships” with them is some personal grievance. Try being queer for a bit, dude, when 90% of your gender isn’t your fucking orientation!

Oy gevalt.

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