If you missed my talk at Northwestern on the Friend Zone, and most of you did, I go over a lot of what I said in it in my interview with Amanda Marcotte here. My segment of the podcast starts about 8 minutes in. (The rest of the podcast is interesting, too.)
The one thing missing from the podcast that my talk had was … a gazillion terrible Friend Zone memes to illustrate all my points. So here are a couple of the ones I refer to in the interview.
I kinda want to try to explain polyamory to rancid… Think his head might explode?
Meh, seeing as how he may stick this flounce, I’m off to bed.
when all you want is a girlfriend or wife. like they’re things
jeez do you say anything that *doesn’t* radiate misogyny
Hey everyone, I think I found a better resource of our troll.
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/94/c7/2a/94c72aadf5346a1257eab7028feb143b.jpg
@weirdwoodtreehugger
That’s hilarious XD
A really dextrous person can finish one in seconds.
*Preemptive fistbump*
Ugh, I HATE the period shits! When I started getting those I was like “I’m leaking out of the wrong hole!”
@Fade: Seconding that, btw. That really sucks. =(
So you’re going with “it’s women’s responsibility to make men not harass them”? Really?
And dude, there’s literally thousands of dating advice blogs and books out there. Why do you think this blog is obligated to spoonfeed it to you?
(Don’t bother, I know the answer)
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. I am so fucking sick of this bullshit, it makes me so goddamn angry. Take your gaslighting and your asstruths and fuck off.
Nah, that’s just why Racnad does it.
And the experiences of countless women who will tell you they have been treated precisely that way by men…those stories don’t matter, because it doesn’t apply to you. You have a serious “listening to women” problem and it might be related to your “women don’t like me” problem.
OH MY GOD, are you even real?
http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/219665/16-year-old-girl-stabbed-to-death-after-turning-down-a-prom-invitation/
http://www.annarbor.com/news/crime/ann-arbor-man-allegedly-beats-woman-who-rejected-him-man-who-tried-to-defend-her/
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/03/14/texas-man-accused-brutal-13-day-assault/
http://bettyconfidential.com/ar/ld/a/Woman-Assaulted-in-Bar-After-Rejecting-Mans-Advances.html
And that’s just the first page of Google results.
Oh wow, I just realized I’m like 200 comments behind. Y’all have been busy tonight!
It was a good day to be playing whack-a-troll, between him and Kate.
I haven’t even gotten to Kate yet, I just finished the Retha Saga. I logged on during a break at work, and there were like 300 new comments in my inbox!
That’s why I don’t get comments sent to me via email. When a thread blows up it really blows up.
The Kate Saga is less interesting though. Basically, female misogynist meets male misogynist, gets married, dislocates shoulder patting self on back.
I knew control was coming into this sooner or later.
That’s what MGTOW say they are doing and never actually do. And it’s what we are constantly encouraging them to do.
Look, I know the “I do X for other people and I expect them to return the same courtesy to me” logic sounds sound, but it doesn’t actually work. First, not everyone in the universe knows that that’s what you expect. Second, what seems nice and courteous to you may not seem that way to someone else (eg, I’m positive that there are people who actively prefer a “I’ll call you” line to a rejection). And third, no matter how objectively reasonable it is, no one has the right to force someone into an implicit social contract: Unless you have a prior stated agreement, your doing something never carries the requirement that someone else do something in return.
About lying to let people down easier: Forget dating, doesn’t everyone do this all the time? If I’m talking to a contractor or supplier who is clearly not the right fit for my project, I still say “I’ll call you if I’m interested,” not “sorry, I’m definitely going with someone else.” When the JWs show up at my door, I thank them for their time, I don’t say “your stupid magazine is going straight in the recycling.” And so on.
Someone handed me some religious pamphlet/magazine thingy when I was sitting at an outdoor cafe a while back and I just took it, smiled, and said thanks, rather than telling her that I’m an atheist and will never come to Jesus and/or follow the various other life advice that was in the pamphlet. Was I supposed to get into an argument with her in the name of truth and honest communication? Because she was elderly, didn’t speak very much English, and seemed nice enough, and I was brought up not to yell and elderly people who try to give me things even if I don’t actually want the things they’re giving me.
Fade, I really appreciate your little dialogues. They do a good job of illustrating why people are wrong.
Pffft, women’s actual experiences aren’t evidence, David!
Next time I see a Rubik’s Cube shirt, I’ll buy it and think of you, because this is perfect.
I haven’t been asked out in years. What was this supposed to prove, again?
WE. ARE. RISKING. VIOLENCE. You are risking being lied to. THEY ARE NOT EQUIVALENT.
Have you considered that your epic-level self-centeredness might be part of your dating problem?
OMG yes this. I’m way more suspicious of conventionally-attractive men.
Huh, I always thought it was the cramps, ’cause all those muscles are connected.
Yeah, you really don’t listen to women at all, do you?
We have intelligent discussions all the time. If you ever get around to saying something intelligent, you’ll get to see one.
Where the hell did you get that from?
“It takes a toxic level of solipism to assume that ” the message you get when you feel you’re in it” is literally the same as what others are actually saying to you. Most people are able to grasp the idea that there is a difference between their own subjective feelings and what other people are actually doing or saying by the time they’re, what, 10 or so?”
An exception would be many of the people on this forum who have repeatedly attacked me for saying things I never said, like…
“Also, you do not understand that nobody owes you a romantic relationship. How many seperate ways do I have to spell that out for you?”
You don’t need to because I never said or implied that anyone owes anyone else sex or a romantic relationship. Maybe a small number frustrated socially mal-adjusted misfits do, but I never even remotely suggested that, nor does any sane person.
“”Thank you for providing a forum to express these thoughts. I only wish it was more about open and intelligent discussion and less about name calling and projecting sinister motives between the lines of different perspectives.
“Great forum, but site for mocking misogyny had to much mocking of me, a misogynist”
Thank you for providing an example by calling me names again.
Shorter racnad…
You did imply that if we don’t dispense free dating and sex advice we only have ourselves to blame for harassment, you implied that it’s our fault for being harassed because we don’t coddle the feelings of creeps enough, you blamed the victims in abusive relationships,you’ve drawn false equivalencies between the threat of rape and being lied to and now you’ve equated mental illness with being an asshole.
Stop playing the victim.
This is a site for mocking misogyny. It says so right up top. It’s not our fault you lack reading comprehension and are being mocked for saying misogynistic things.
racnad: More often they are just men who are seen as less desirable by women because of poor social skills,
What bullshit. The problem with, “the friendzone” is that some dude put the woman into, “the Girlfriend Zone” and she didn’t want to come along for the ride.
Not her problem.
I know this isn’t a dating advice blog
Then stop telling us to give men dating advice.
The only certain way a man can avoid being perceived as creep is to avoid expressing any romantic interest in women unless she has made an unambiguous first move.
Nope. The best way to avoid being a creep is to accept that women have boundaries, and then to respect the boundaries they have.
Because there is a difference between one woman finding you creepy (happens to all of us) and being a creep. I am sure there are women who have found me creepy. I am also pretty sure I don’t have a reputation as a creep.
When I was dating, I found it was actually rare for a woman to say no. More often is was something like “That sounds like fun, but I’m busy this weekend. Maybe another time,
Christ on a crutch. Did it happen more than once? Then she was probably being polite. Did she make plans only to break them? If not, then you’ve not got anything to complain about. You made your move, she deflected it.
If a clerk asks someone if they need help and they say, “not now”, we accept that this is a polite “no” and no one gets bent about it; but when a woman says, “not right now”, the poor menz go, “ok, WHEN!”.
But if she says no it’s, “Fucking frigid bitch”.
No, that is a “white lie” but still a lie which teaches men to not take what women tell them at face value and places the burden on them to figure out if the woman he’s talking to is being truthful or not. What’s wrong with honesty in relationships?
There was the girl who told the boy she wouldn’t go to the prom with him… and he stabbed her to death with the knife he’d brought to school in case she turned him down.
That sort of thing might have something to do with those, “white lies” you find so horrible.
Yeah, but that’s ooonnee guy and like racnad is totally not like this and would never hurt a woman so why can’t they just not be such horrible deceitful jerks to him (by deflecting his advances)? They should be able to tell the difference between a completely reasonable person like racnad and a violent misogynist!! /sarcasm
Since racnad has completely devolved into “I know you are but what am I,” here is something I just got.
I adopted out a kitten to a woman with a French bulldog puppy and then this happened.
racnad, you do know we can go back and read your words, right?
Have you actually addressed anyone’s points, who have addressed you? I mean, if you’re not gonna stick the flounce and all.