Yesterday, a message arrived in my email inbox with the title “Are you happy to die a virgin,” a somewhat unusual question, I felt, not just because of its faulty premise but also because of its lack of the conventional question mark at the end. The email itself was equally blunt and illiterate:
You sound like a 40 y/o FAT VIRGIN living in a basement rotting away. Is manboobz.com your way of hide behind your own internal issues u refuse to face? Father issues???
Ah, here’s where the missing question mark went, along with some friends.
The sender appended a photo of an extremely obese Asian man at least 20 years my junior, mostly if not completely nude, along with the question (and I quote verbatim) “This this photo you??”
As hate mail goes, this isn’t particularly interesting and original. What got my attention was the sender: it came from the admin account at mensrightsmelbourne.com, an Australian Men’s Rights site taking much of its inspiration from Men’s Rights Edmonton (its website design) and A Voice for Men (its propaganda). So this wasn’t simply some anonymous internet troll sending me puerile hate mail: this is one of Australia’s most visible MRAs.
On the front page I noticed something else: A post with the title: “‘Twitter gave me PTSD’: Woman claims mean comments and ‘cyberstalking’ gave her an illness usually suffered by WAR VETERANS.”
The post – most of which is plagiarised directly from The Daily Mail, including the title itself – is an attack on Melody Hensley, a feminist and skeptic who is the Executive Director of Center for Inquiry in Washington DC. Hensley, who in the past suffered intense harassment from misogynists in the skeptic movement and other assorted assholes, is now facing a second wave of harassment as a result of saying publicly that the earlier harassment had given her Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
That’s right: she’s being harassed for saying that harassment so fucked up her life that it gave her PTSD.
While much of the most vicious harassment this time is coming, as it did last time, from the misogynist wing of the atheist/skeptic movement, MRAs are jumping on board as well.
The “argument” of Hensley’s enemies? That she couldn’t possibly have gotten PTSD from “mean words” online. Men’s Rights blogger The Native Canadian put it this way:
PTSD from being a feminist on the internet? Yeah I bet she wakes up screaming at night because of all the mean words! Must be hard going day to day with flash backs of your friends being called “femnazi’s” right in front of you! How ever do you handle life? Fucking disgraceful b****. Let’s see her tell that to someone who really knows what living with PTSD is like. …
I’m sorry but I am totally shocked, I don’t know what else to say, other than, is there nothing sacred to these cat lovers?
And that’s pretty much the argument all of them make: based on nothing but their own vague notion that PTSD is a serious thing that only happens to soldiers, they’ve decided she’s a lying “b****” who is trying to steal the sympathy that rightly belongs to men. (Never mind that her comments on Twitter about veterans suffering from PTSD are always respectful.)
As Hensley has made clear, she’s not claiming that a few mean tweets gave her PTSD. On a page she’s set up to help raise money for research into PTSD she notes:
In July of 2013 I publicly disclosed that I had been diagnosed by my psychiatrist with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) due to more than a year of online harassment and abuse. The abuse -including death and rape threats- occurred on numerous websites and via email, phone, online postings, images, and videos.
Is it possible for this sort of harassment to cause PTSD? Well, according to someone who knows a lot more about the subject than me or The Native Canadian or the dude at Men’s Rights Melbourne or the staff writers at The Daily Mail, the answer is a clear yes. Caleb W. Lack, a licensed clinical psychologist and psychology professor who writes a blog called Great Plains Skeptic, and who is an expert on anxiety disorders, writes in a recent post on the Hensley controversy that
Bullying has long been known to have a severe impact on mental health, particularly if the bullying is repeated and prolonged. While research has traditionally focused on youth (as briefly reviewed here), more recent work has examined it’s impact on adults. as well, particularly in the workplace. Research focusing specifically on cyberbullying has found very similar results to “traditional” bullying, in terms of increased risk of depression, suicide, and anxiety. In youth, around a third of bullying victims display quite high rates of PTSD symptoms and rates are perhaps even higher in adults who are bullied.
So, given what we know about PTSD, and given what we know about the effects of bullying (cyber and otherwise) on mental health, I think it’s relatively safe to say that “Yes, you can ‘get’ PTSD from Twitter.” One needs to be careful, though, to be specific about this: it’s the bullying and harassment that could lead to PTSD or PTSD symptoms (as well as depression, increased suicidality, and so on), not anything inherent to Twitter itself. Twitter and other forms of social media are just a new tool to use to bully and harass others, but the underlying mechanisms and the results are the same as if these interactions were face to face.
The internet isn’t somehow apart from the “real world.” It’s a part of it, and actions on the internet have real world consequences. Unfortunately, the internet seems to magnify the power of bullies. But it may also magnify the power of bullying victims to fight back.
Of course, the bullies don’t want to acknowledge that what they are doing is bullying. Indeed, many of the worst bullies in the skeptic and Men’s Rights movements consider themselves “activists” — even though the bulk of their “activism” may consist of nothing more than harassing individuals. That may be part of what is driving the widespread refusal to accept that online harassment can lead to real trauma, including PTSD.
And that may be why the guy at Men’s Rights Melbourne — that is, a guy who sent me a crude, bullying email calling me a “FAT VIRGIN” — felt the need to weigh in on the Hensley’s case, and to insinuate ( in one of the few portions of his post that wasn’t plagiarised) that she’s making it all up.
But on some level the bullies know that they’re bullies. There’s no question that the new wave of harassment against Hensley is driven by one of the central dynamics of bullying — offline and on. Bullies love to pounce on anyone who shows signs of vulnerability, and Hensley’s announcement that she suffers from PTSD is a sign that the first wave of bullying got to her.
Happily, that’s not the whole story. What really seems to infuriate Hensley’s enemies is that she’s not acting like they think a victim should. She’s not shutting up and going away. She’s back on Twitter and responding to critics, because doing so gives her a sense of control over her bullies. She’s taking power away from them.
On A Voice for Men, Dean Esmay tries his best, in a barely coherent post, to paint her as a “professional damsel in distress” who deserves to be distressed some more. But the tweets of hers he reposts aren’t very damsel-like; they’re blunt and direct and they call out bullies by name. And when she posts them she knows she has the support of a lot of people who are as disgusted by the bullies as she is.
And while the bullies fulminate, she’s raising money for PTSD research. Because she’s an actual fucking activist, not a bully with a Twitter account, or a website, or a YouTube channel.
EDIT: There has been a lot of really good stuff written about Hensley and PTSD, particularly on Freethought Blogs. Here are some links to interesting, useful, insightful posts.
How could Twitter possibly cause PTSD? by Stephanie Zwan, documents some of the harassment.
What Melody Hensley Has to Teach You About Professionalism, an older (2013) piece by Zvan
Your Uninformed and Incorrect Opinions About Psychology, by Miri Mogilevsky
A Voice for Me – AVfM and Thunderfoot on PTSD, by Avicenna
PTSD and Me(lody), by Avicenna
Feel free to post more links in the comments!
NOTE TO DRIVE-BY ASSHOLES: If you want to talk about what a liar you think Melody Hensley is, don’t bother trying to post comments here. I mean, you can if you want; it’s just that it takes me a lot less time to throw them in the trash than it does for you to write them.
If my female cat is laying where my tabby boy wants to lay he… climbs right on top of her (see my avatar.)
I bring you the soothing affection of sloths. 8D 8D 8D
In my experience, people who have unusual perceptions of reality ted to do so along predictable lines, and once you figure out the lines it’s pretty easy to tell what’s going on. Unfortunately, most people hear the diagnosis “schizophrenia” and disregard everything a person has to say. 8( It really sucks.
And for happiness, we finish with True Facts About Sloths:
There’s a real lack of understanding around this story. People literally believe it’s as simple as “She said something silly, people responded by calling her fat and ugly and she developed PTSD”. No! Yes, she’s a visible person on the internet saying words, all of which someone will disagree with. Fair enough.
The assumptions start as soon as they start saying “She obviously said something really stupid to warrant that response”. Why would you assume that aside from bias? And why would that make it OK? Then comes the assumption the abuse wasn’t serious, just “You’re fat” and “You’re ugly”.Have you ever been on the internet? I’ll wager it was threats of violence because I get them too for being female and saying things.
People on the internet are often fucking scum. Honestly, if I were at particular risk of being traumatised, I would not go on the internet, not because it’s OK to permit people to behave that way but because I can only control my own actions and duty to self-care blah blah blah. People are different. Some get help and push back. May this be a case of someone with underlying psychiatric issues making them more susceptible to developing PTSD? Maybe. I don’t know. I can’t know. Is it unlikely that many others in their situation would respond the same way? Again, maybe. I don’t know. What I do know though is, regardless of this individual, people on the internet are often disgusting, shameful creatures and that’s something all of us should be alarmed by and dedicated to changing.
Now I’m hearing she’s trying to get people fired from their jobs for saying “You don’t have PTSD”. Pardon me for not believing MRA sources and, even if it’s true, not being overly concerned because, as we know, if anyone’s liable to lose their job over this, its her. The idea a woman upset with you has all the power in the world to have you tossed in jail or fired is pure myth.
OMG, the Redpillers are doing it again! This is at least the second, and I think the third, time I’ve seen it.
From here: http://www.np.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/23p1ev/have_the_personality_of_cats_bitches_love_cats/
For my two:
Cute: check.
Aloof: Lol no.
Independent: Lol no.
“Want affection (rare) on their own terms”: Want affection (always) on their own terms.
“You serve ME…” well, they can’t open the food storage container nor can they cook, so I’m left to serve myself.
“I go out to prowl…”: No, they go out and I scoop them up and bring them back into the apartment. There are cars and coyotes outside, and my apartment opens into an interior hallway, so it isn’t like they have anywhere to go.
“I’ll bring you dead animals once in a while…”: Does leaving cat toys in my bed count?
“Cuddle when YOU want, cut it short, then bounce.” Lol no.
“Indifference mildly peppered with punctuated affection”: Lol no. I could kick them out of my room and get more than an hour’s sleep if the buggers were indifferent.
“The only interaction you get is when you play with me”: Hair-licking wake up calls at 5:30 am. ‘Nough said.
Also, keeping pronouns straight is apparently for betas or women, though in fairness, my cats aren’t good at grammar either.
Act like a cat. And in return she’ll give you dry kibble and neuter you.
I have been informed (more than once) that “trauma” refers only to damage resulting from physical violence. In the context of some Very Serious and Informative Mansplaining, of course. So when I first read about this I thought maybe the poor dears are laboring under the misconception that you can’t get PTSD from online interactions because you can’t literally reach out and slap someone via twitter.
And for what it’s worth, my boy-cat is sweet, cuddly, and affectionate (when indoors), while the youngest of my three is a rambunctious, inconsiderate, self-centered, asshole girl-cat, who’s totally in charge by virtue of being so energetic and narcissistic. Apparently all it takes to be the alpha is wearing everyone else the fuck down until they’re too tired to care who’s in charge.
Cat lovers? Haha, reminds me of the time some hater on here tried to call you “Kitten Boy.” Remember that?
Ooh, look, some new whiny dudebros (and snarky ladies) on Amazon!
Thanks, Deoridhe. A bucket of sloths with a Ze Frank chaser was much appreciated.
An excellent post, David. Thank you.
P.S. “Ah, here’s where the missing question mark went, along with some friends.”
Cute and funny.
Proneness to histrionics is one of defining features of MRA’s “cognitive” style.
Which book? (I mean which book does Rose come from. I know what book the Ultimate Answer comes from .:) )
I just noticed David had to update the post with a note to drive-by assholes trying to leave comments. 🙁
I honestly don’t understand why this woman saying she has been diagnosed with PTSD brings out so much horribleness in people. I mean, I’m not surprised by it, but I really don’t understand it at all.
Drive-by assholes, you suck.
I’ve read some reports that suggest that men who harass women online aren’t just keyboard warriors, but are often harassers and abusers in real life, too.
But, you know, I’m sure they don’t meeeeean it!!!1
My kitty, who lives at my folks’s, cause Uni:
Alpha:
Sleeps wherever the heck he wants.
Sits on stairs, just so he can say ‘You a Shall Not Pass!’ in felinese. Both dogs believe it.
Purrs while biting things.
Loud, obnoxious (but kind of endearing) MYROWRERERER!!!! when he wants food.
Good hunter, keeps rodents out of grain storage.
Made us get rid of bird feeder, so we wouldn’t lure birds to their doom.
Is 15, still fit, unbeaten/eaten by stray dogs, foxes.
Beta:
Soooo fat.
On a diet, and demands for food are harshly ignored. So harsh.
Toilet trained (not coastal, so no toxoplasmosis for otters!): leaves seat down.
Gets sprayed with water bottle for attacks against humans: begs for cuddles right after.
Very cuddly in winter.
Does not like hunting at 50 below. No way. Uh, uh.
Neutered.
Dogs occasionally lick him in the face.
Jesus H. God, I tried to read Stephanie Zwan’s Storify of the Twitter bullying she was getting and I started feeling anxious and furious on her behalf. I couldn’t finish it. Christ, what a bunch of assholes.
Anybody remember when all the trolls, sexist gamers and MRAs went after Anita Sarkeesian?
They. Just. Don’t. Ever. Stop.
Speaking as vet, with mild PTSD sorts of shit, “combat” is a funny thing, and there is a lot which comes of being in a combat zone which is stressful (and can add up to trauma) which doesn’t require being shot at.
Day to day life is sort of hard to explain. David Drake (an author) said that the thing about being in Vietnam (where I get the impression people weren’t, as a rule, trying to kill him) was the “simple” fact of being scared; all the time.
I can attest to that. Fear becomes a fact of life. There isn’t a moment when one isn’t (in the background) prepared to deal with some bad shit going down.
Ah… those videos remind me of one of my favorite passages from one of my favorite series of books (set in the Age of Sail), “Jack, you have debauched my sloth”.
On a more serious note… they are only slow, 1: on the ground, and 2: because they feel like it. When they want to they can move between 6-10 miles an hour in the trees. At which point those toenails they hang from will Fuck You Up.
Wow, as far as that lovely mug goes, I’m pretty disturbed that this (TW for deadly violence against women, specifically divorcées) is second on the “Also Viewed” list :/
Hi, all the delurkers and redelurkers! Anyone who hasn’t had a Welcome Package yet, here ’tis!
David,
Thanks for posting this. I was aware of it but my focus was elsewhere. I’m glad Melody is standing up to those assholes.
@katz
hahahah! I love that mug. I left a comment to one of the whiners. I love watching them whine.
Fuck this noise about PTSD being combat-related only.
As someone who developed ASD (or PTSD according to the professional who diagnosed me, but the timeline is shorter than PTSD) the event that triggered it was relatively minor, something most people, including myself, experience without problems. But it sucked when it happened, because the listed symptoms were there, they were very real, detrimental to having a healthy life, and I couldn’t just ‘snap out of it’ without the help of medication and therapy. Even now, if I had to explain, it would be embarrassing compared to combat vets and rape survivors, but it happened.
I took a gander at Men’s Rights Melbourne. Apparently you can tell someone is a feminist because they have “cold, dead” eyes of evil. Or something.
Also lots of pictures of injured soliders on there. How sad, manipulative tactics just break my heart.
And apparently working women are blaming men for their troubles or something. Yawn.
I wasn’t aware that there were rules about PTSD. Obviously, military folks are likely to be particularly vulnerable to it but that doesn’t mean that they’re the only people who get it. They don’t have some kind of monopoly on it. Anyone who has undergone trauma is vulnerable as well, whether it be due to bullying, violence (including rape), medical issues (I’ve recently been diagnosed with it myself due to my recent treatment for cancer) or any other traumatic event. Sufferers don’t have to prove that their experience was “severe enough” to be called PTSD to other people. If a psychiatrist has diagnosed them as having it then nothing the trolls say matters one iota.
Maybe this is expecting too much from humanity, but I always think that if you do someone harm that you have an obligation to help them, and that if a group you are part of does someone harm that you still have this obligation, although maybe a lesser one. So here we have a person who has suffered abuse typically from MRA-associated folks, and you’d expect that the humane thing to do by them would be to be supportive and protective of her and turn their eyes inwards in order to deal with the abusive factions in their ranks.
Or they could double down and abuse her some more. I wonder which choice will appeal to them more… (sarcasm)
Tbh, bullying bothers me a lot so this is pretty sickening to follow.