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CreepyPM Time: Let Me 'Splain That For You Edition

mansplain

 

Let’s take another visit to the CreepyPM subreddit, where innocent souls post screenshots of the perfectly horrendous private messages they’ve gotten, sometimes on dating sites, sometimes not.

In this case, the recipient is a young black woman on OkCupid, the sender a white man more than twenty years her senior and 13 years out of her specified age range. He decides that the best way to overcome this age gap is to … mansplain and whitesplain to her about the history of Planned Parenthood.

And then there is perhaps the most awkward segue in the history of internet dating.

In the screenshot below, he’s red, she’s blue.

 

Oh dear.

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan!

According to the recipient — no screenshot, alas — he followed this up with a classic bit of passive-aggressive sex nagging:

Take a chance, Ms. Free Love.

SPOILER ALERT: She didn’t.

You can read the original thread in CreepyPMs here.

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kittehserf
10 years ago

Even without the mansplaining garbage, I’d reject a man who a) talked about oral sex to a stranger and b) used the term pussy.

Chaos-Engineer
Chaos-Engineer
10 years ago

The first bit is pretty common in Fundamentalist circles. From what I’ve heard, the Approved Reading Material presents a lot of arguments like this, but it doesn’t make it clear that these are apologetics for internal use among the faithful, not something that should be used to convince outsiders. The Planned Parenthood one is basically: “If you start to feel guilty about violating other people’s basic human rights, then read this apologetic to yourself until you’ve once again become convinced that you’re a defender of human rights.”

This is especially bad in Approved Fiction, because they’ll throw in a strawman non-believer character who gets convinced by the arguments or at least is unable to refute them. If you want to see this in action, the movie “God’s Not Dead” is still in theaters for a little while longer…

Now that I think about it, the PUA culture also relies on apologetics built around strawman dialogs. So it’s not surprising that a person who falls into one trap would also fall into the other.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
10 years ago

I am very antidiscrimination in all forms

$10 says he thinks men, white people, and/or Christians are discriminated against.

@Chaos-Engineer, is the “Sanger was a racist” trope only meant for in-group use? I thought it was meant to either win liberals over by using our own tactics against us (“the race card”, in this case), or to label us racists and hypocrites if we don’t fall for it.

Bina
Bina
10 years ago

Looks like Mr. “Margaret Sanger was a racist” really needs to get his reading on:

Unlike most eugenicists, Margaret Sanger did not advocate for birth control because she felt that certain groups of women should have babies, while others should not. Sanger believed that birth control should be available to all women, particularly those who were poor, because limiting their number of children would help mothers provide a better quality of life for their families, especially when resources were limited. Sanger believed that reproductive decisions should be made by the individual woman, and not on a social or cultural basis, and she consistently argued against the racialized application of eugenics principals. Margaret Sanger eventually abandoned the eugenics movement, and her reasoning is very clear from a statement that she made in 1919:

“Eugenists imply or insist that a woman’s first duty is to the state; we contend that her duty to herself is her first duty to the state. We maintain that a woman possessing an adequate knowledge of her reproductive functions is the best judge of the time and conditions under which her child should be brought into the world. We further maintain that is is her right, to determine whether she shall bear children or not, and how many children she shall bear if she chooses to become a mother . . . Only upon a free, self-determining motherhood can rest any unshakable structure of racial betterment.” (Source: The Birth Control Review, February 1919)

In other words, she was for letting all women decide for themselves, including black women. Hardly a racial genocide supporter, in other words!

PS: Does this dude really think “free love” means “willing to do it with anyone”? What an idiot.

kittehserf
10 years ago

PS: Does this dude really think “free love” means “willing to do it with anyone”?

Not only that, but “doesn’t charge for it”.

Alice Sanguinaria
10 years ago

Seriously, I mentioned this in the thread, but the creepy person’s claims is ALSO bad history. Pissed me off so much I make a two post rant saying ‘DUDE YOU ARE WRONG SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ARE DUMB’.

Well, no, I made a two post rant correcting the user, giving a biography of Sanger, and explaining the context. BUT STILL

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

I’m getting a nice little history lesson today! Thanks Boobzers!

Leisha Young
Leisha Young
10 years ago

Honestly, WTF is wrong with these people. What on Earth makes them think women want to hear that stuff? Who’s is raising these guys? Whyyyyyy?

pecunium
10 years ago

I wonder when “Step 1: Introduce an inflammatory, highly divisive political subject; Step 2: Ignore target’s opinion and repeatedly state your own; Step 3: Graphically state one’s desire for sexytimes” is going to become an officially sanctioned strategy on a PUA website.

It alraedy is. It’s the core of several “schools” of PUA.

I love the idea that putting a medical provider, with a significant mission to provide treatment to those who can’t afford to go to a non-subsidised provider setting up shop in poorer neighborhoods is used as evidence of fell intent.

pecunium
10 years ago

In other news… The wedding proceeds apace (though it’s swallowing lots of my free mental energy, and I’m not doing the heavy lifting). Work is work, other things are what they are (Passover is taking place, Easter is coming, and all that jazz).

So my absence has not been a lack of felicity, but an excess of other divertisments.

moldybrehd
10 years ago

Thanks for the history lesson, Alice! It was awesome!

kittehserf
10 years ago

Glad to hear it’s all proceeding apace, Pecunium. Have you heard from Argenti? Katz mentioned zie’s involved in a project, and zie certainly hasn’t been on site. (Naughty Argenti, what happened to “I won’t just disappear,” eh? 😉 )

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
10 years ago

Eww. Just eww.

I hate the smell of creep in the morning. Or any time during the day, to be honest.

Lady Ballsnip
Lady Ballsnip
10 years ago

There’re so many creeps online, I’ve met my fair share (trust me). I sometimes realise how weird in fact it is; these people are the same people I see on the streets and whom I probably talk to! Like with extremely hateful and violent YT comments, or indeed these bizarre messages. They don’t exactly dress like this:
http://www.bostoncostume.com/images/products/6777.jpg

But like this:
http://www.davidafarrellat-large.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/0231.jpg

Lady Ballsnip
Lady Ballsnip
10 years ago

@weirdwoodtreehugger: I actually find that view disturbing. Who’d come up with such a thing? In this context? Just… bizarre.

opium4themasses
10 years ago

@Kootiepatra I read this while humming “Dick in a box” to myself. My head is in such a weird space.

Nice to see people fighting against the Sanger genocide stuff. It’s sad how relevant her words are even to this day.

Alice Sanguinaria
10 years ago

moldybrhed – No problems! It was just asking to be debunked.

potterchik
potterchik
10 years ago

Can’t read it. there is a weight-loss ad blocking the lower half of the image.

Skye
Skye
10 years ago

Yep, he’s a creeper. Ewwwww

WWTH, I assume you’re right. According to Guttmacher, 42% of women who obtaining abortions are below the U.S. federal poverty line. 3/4 say they can’t afford a child, 3/4 cite concern for or responsibility to other individuals, 3/4 say a baby would interfere w/work, school or the ability to care for dependents.

Yet most ‘pro-life’ folks want to dismantle what little social safety net we have

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
10 years ago

In the long list of first lines than which you should read no further “I am curious…” may be #1.

AK
AK
10 years ago

The whole “abortion is genocide against black people” argument always strikes me as so insulting to black women. I mean, even if you buy into it, it’s basically saying that they’re too stupid to realize they’re exterminating their own race. It’s making black women into agents of genocide, since they’re choosing to have abortions. Even if you believe they’re just doing what they’re told (because we all know in that worldview, Planned Parenthood is out there actively convincing people to have abortions), it at the very least makes them collaborators. That’s…not a good opinion of black women (and black men that support them).

And I’m pretty sure the stuff about Margaret Sanger being a racist isn’t just intended for internal use. I talk to a lot of pro-life Christians and read pro-life materials intended for outside consumption, and it is definitely an argument intended to convince other people that PP is an evil organization. Of course, everyone else has addressed why that argument is stupid already, but that doesn’t mean that pro-lifers don’t think it’s a good “gotcha!” point.

misery
misery
10 years ago

Don’t you think it’s a bit insidious?

“Planned Parenthood was started in order to exterminate all black people.” — “I don’t care, that’s not relevant to Planned Parenthood today.”

And if this misinformation is not challenged the pro-lifers have scored another point. Propaganda techniques do work after all, one of the reasons the extreme right is so exhausting to deal with is because they always make sure they’re wrong about at least two things, so that you can never fully correct them without having to write at length.

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

It reminds me of the “did you know that the KKK was founded by Democrats? And Lincoln was a Republican!” shtik that RWNJs use on African-Americans. Yeah, and Ernst Rohm was the head of the SA – doesn’t mean fascists are pro-gay, or gays are fascists.

Leum
Leum
10 years ago

@Robert: Actually, one of the go-to talking points among the slightly fringier homophobes is that the Nazis were a pro-gay organization and that fascism is an inherent part of the “homosexual agenda.”