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Amy Schumer takes on "Nice Guys" with "Hello M'Lady"

From Comedy Central’s Inside Amy Schumer, here’s a little skit taking on the phenomenon of the Nice Guy. No fedoras so be seen, but other than that she pretty much covers all the bases, right on down to the neckbeards on some of the fellas. Caution: Mild creepshaming.

NOTE TO ANGRY MRAS: This video does not represent an official statement on the part of feminism. Amy Schumer is a COMEDIAN.

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Ready-Or-Not
Ready-Or-Not
7 years ago

The guys in the skit didn’t seem like typical PUAs or MRAs…no negging. They are more like what the Manospherians call white knights, or beta manginas. Still creepy nonetheless.

xfire
xfire
7 years ago

Good stuff Amy Schumer maybe al little crass for some tastes but I personally believe there is no other comedian tackling subjects like gender and sexuality in such fearless way and confrontational way.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

If anyone ever addressed me m’lady and they weren’t dressed in a way that indicated that they were on their way to a Ren Fair I’d think they were smoking crack. Do I look like I’m wearing one of those hats that’s like an upside down ice cream cone to you?

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

That was hilarious. Thanks for reminding me that I need to catch the latest episode! That herpes scare sketch is also really funny. It’s a perfect mockery of entitled white women.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Ready-Or-Not

They are more like what the Manospherians call white knights, or beta manginas.

Ew, is THAT what they think I am? Well, that’s just gross.

(That said, these guys aren’t NEARLY as bad as the ones I’ve encountered. No jokes about raping me!)

Lili Fugit
Lili Fugit
7 years ago

That thing where she says “but I don’t want to lead them on” and the other gal says apologetically, “You can’t win” .

So true! Getting over the completely misguided sense that I was responsible for somehow leading men on… wait, more specifically, realizing that indeed I had never led anyone anywhere and that it was a trip guys were putting off on me? That was a liberating moment.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

ZOMG, that “Christmas Story” leg lamp in the background!

And the TurboTax thing reminds me that I need to download my tax forms from the gummint website, and fill them out with the dreary details of my unexciting career. Fun, fun.

Also, I “ugh”ed a lot at the sad dudes. Poor things.

kittehserf
7 years ago

“I think you owe me that much”

HURL

That puts him right into creeper territory.

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

So true! Getting over the completely misguided sense that I was responsible for somehow leading men on… wait, more specifically, realizing that indeed I had never led anyone anywhere and that it was a trip guys were putting off on me? That was a liberating moment.

Yeah, for me too. Can’t be stressed enough.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

“Sad-eyed weasel.” That’s perfect. She pretty much nailed these guys.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

Yikes, that ending. It’s like a horror movie. “Night of the Nice Guys”.

Felicity watched in terror as they slowly emerged from basement lairs. Thousands and thousands…they were legion, multiplying and covering the earth. They were being driven aboveground by the collapse of the internet, which had finally seized up under the strain of downloading trillions of yottabytes of hentai and brony porn.

Moaning with entitlement, they lurched towards her. She was now Chosen. She had forty-eight hours to get to the safety of a friendzone…

I bet there would be some pretty awesome sword fights.

Fibinachi
7 years ago

(CUT: Oval Office, the President is speaking using the National Emergency Broadcast. The president looks haggard, with bags under the eyes and a suit that’s crumpled. The tie is hanging lacklusterly around the neck)

“Dear Nation, I bring you grave news tonight.”

(Pause, visible shudder)

“Since the Tech-Terrorists known as The Voice of M.A.L.E. struck and destroyed our internet infrastructure, we have been beset by a terrible curse as hordes of NIce Guys flooded, fedora’d, from their basement lairs, incessesantly yammering about the F-Zone, sluts and favours.”

(Briefly, the president twitches)

“Over the last many weeks our fellow Americans have attempted to stem the tide of Nice, to little avail. It has been a harrowing time. We are, it must be said, no closer to a cure. No vaccine have so materialized. It seems the infection is highly virulent, mutative and endlessly wheedling. The bitches at the CDC have so far failed all efforts to fight this curse. This may be the final days.”

(Suddenly shaking, the president lets out a low gasp)

“Bitches? The bitches at the CDC? They have worked hard to… avoid… giving us the… closure we need… Those hard, industrious wor–wor..– WHORES have refused to help us solve this crisis, because the virus has so far been inscrutable…”

(The president is visibly sweating now, shaking. Low murmurs are filling the room from the offscreen camera crew)

“It seems… they’d rather… study… that…. bad boy ebola all the time. They don’t even time to pay attention to a Nice virus. And after all the funding we gave them! And those grants! And we helped build a whole new HQ!”

(Someone is desperately yelling for the feed to be cut, but the president has stopped shaking and has now gripped the podium – sweat bolstered by the exertion of spittled anger)

“Fucking slutty scientists and their chemical warfare programmes! Who was there all the time they spent so much time panicking about the Swine Flu? Who listened to all their complaints about the Bird Flu? And they can’t even handle a bit of Nice? That’s the last fucking time I approve their funding appeals!”

(The Oval Office is in uproar, people running, screams. A rapidly speaking high pitched voice repeats the word “hypergamy” over and over, and the president is drowned out in a screech of white-noise.

The feed cuts)

titianblue
titianblue
7 years ago

Wipes away tears of laughter – not quite the apocolypse that the MRAs dream of.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

The alarm for when (not if) the M’Lady angrily turns on you got me good because it’s so true! Every. Damn. Time. “I spent money I didn’t even have on that very expensive (but completely not your taste) bracelet that I said I bought you ‘just because.’ How many blowjobs did that get me, huh? I’ll tell you, zero blowjobs.”

lindwormlady
lindwormlady
7 years ago

This skit was incredibly accurate.

Hello, guys! *waves*

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

I would pay to see Night of the Nice Guys in the theater. I’d even be willing to pay the evening price instead of the matinee.

leftwingfox
7 years ago

Fibinachi: Brilliant!

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

OT: I looked at AVoiceforMen FB page again and found another bizarre image (if anyone remembers that picture of a spider proving rape culture is propaganda?)

This is even weirder:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=636566653065486&set=a.607729695949182.1073741826.102001393188684&type=1&theater

WTF. I’m so lost on whatever point this is trying to make. Anyone want to take a stab at breaking it down for me?

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

Seems to be just an excuse to make a juvenile rape joke. Nice.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

Have I correctly understood the joke to be “asking men not to rape women when they are drunk or otherwise incapacitated is as ridiculous as asking land masses to stop moving”?

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

By “they,” I mean the women.

sparky
sparky
7 years ago

I would also pay good money to see Night of the Nice Guy/em> in theaters.

It looks like that AVFM poster is equating rape with an unstoppable natural force, like tectonic plates moving. And the idea of rape culture is silly because Vancouver Island looks like a penis.

sparky
sparky
7 years ago

Well, that was an interesting way to format that.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

Yeah, I think it’s meant to point out that rape culture is some ridiculous myth. There’s a second, even more disturbing layer to it though. It’s also saying that it’s an inevitability that tectonic plates will shift. By comparing tectonic plate shifts to rape, they are saying that it’s also an inevitability that men will rape because that’s what nature dictates they will do.

I think that subtext was put in there unconsciously. MRAs certainly aren’t very self aware.

Dragon Lady
Dragon Lady
7 years ago

They sure aren’t. Sometimes I even wonder if they realize just how awful they make their own ‘movement’ look.

J. Schmidt
J. Schmidt
7 years ago

By comparing tectonic plate shifts to rape, they are saying that it’s also an inevitability that men will rape because that’s what nature dictates they will do.

MRA: they have a attitude towards men then the feminists and women they hate.

J. Schmidt
J. Schmidt
7 years ago

Dagnabit, for the word “worse” i.e. “worse attitude”

cloudiah
7 years ago

No one commits misandry as much as MRAs. And yes, I am getting a definite “men will inevitably rape, it’s just natural, thinking you can stop it is silly” vibe from that graphic.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
7 years ago

The poster seems to be saying that feminists are deluded ideologues who see rape where rape doesn’t exist, like all or most so-called date rape. Also, “rape culture” is just a scary propaganda term for the (supposedly super common) physical occurrence of rape.

The poster assumes that tectonic subduction categorically cannot be violence, both because one plate cannot be hurt and because the other plate isn’t a conscious actor. The authors probably didn’t mean to imply that same applies to sexual penetration, simply because they don’t care if it does. However, they do imply that it’s useless to educate against rape, because rapists gonna rape, conscious actors or not.

Also, they show gross incompetence/intellectual laziness mixing between coastlines and tectonic plate margins. Each of those could have been used separately for this joke, although then it would have been less effective for non-pedants.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

Agreed, I think it’s trying (and failing) to paint feminists as wacky, fanatical demagogues who see evidence of patriarchy everywhere, even where it’s totally nonsensical, like massive geologic processes. As if we’re also out there shaking our fists at clouds and trees to stop oppressing us, and marching on the Alps chanting “OROGENY IS MISOGYNY!”

On the other hand, making HURR LANDWONG posters strongly suggests that MRAs see rape everywhere, even where it’s totally nonsensical, like massive geologic processes. Way to flunk your own Rorschach test, dudes.

Redcap
Redcap
7 years ago

There actually is a tectonic boundary near Vancouver Island, but it’s off the West Coast, not between the island and Washington state. And it’s not a subduction zone, but a transform fault – meaning that the plates move sideways against each other. Rather more like consensual grinding than forced penetration.
So add “geology” to the list of things MRAs fail at.

In terms of penis-shaped areas, I would think the MRAs are more like Florida: dicks waving pointlessly in the vast uncaring ocean. (Not aimed at Floridians, just the geographic area.)

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

So Vancouver is twerking?

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

I would think the MRAs are more like Florida: dicks waving pointlessly in the vast uncaring ocean.

Beautiful!

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

So Vancouver is twerking?

Nah…more like the old-fashioned sideways booty-shake.

Robert
Robert
7 years ago

Geology is Destiny! /s

Also, the Night of the Living NiceGuys was delightful.

saintnick86
saintnick86
7 years ago

The bit where the guy says that one woman “owed him” pretty much says it all, when it comes to Nice Guys. It certainly captures just how disingenuous they are about being nice – which they certainly are not, since harassing women comes into it.

nellodee1010
nellodee1010
7 years ago

Which episode was this on?

nellodee1010
nellodee1010
7 years ago

PS I used to be Molly Moon but then I started using a wordpress account

kittehserf
7 years ago

Yeah, that bit made my skin crawl, saintnick.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

I seem to remember a man saying those exact words to me before giving me a dressing-down about my decision to date someone who wasn’t him.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Thus, ironically, justifying your decision not to date him, if any justification was needed, which it wasn’t.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Shows how poorly they think of everything – themselves, women, relationships – when they think it’s worth having a date (or, presumably, sex) with someone who’s just doing it out of a sense of obligation. Makes you wonder if it’s about the control or about the chance to orgasm inside someone. If the latter … geez, is it that important?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

You know, I’ve tried to figure that out before, and I think it’s because they just don’t care about the other person’s subjective state? By which I mean, even for the ones who aren’t nasty enough to want to make women unhappy, how we feel about things is just kind of irrelevant to them.

katz
7 years ago

I imagine they just think of the woman as a sort of prop (hence why they seriously pursue women they’ve never talked to and know nothing about) and therefore don’t see what the difference would be between a woman who likes them and a woman who merely tolerates them.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

I get the feeling that if you tried to have the “but she doesn’t like you, doesn’t that bother you?” conversation they’d react as if you were asking them if it bothered them that their car didn’t like them.

katz
7 years ago

Off-topic: A bit of hilarious homophobia. Two men marrying are discriminating against women! (David, I’d love to see your take on this one!)

maggiesausage
maggiesausage
7 years ago

My parents are obviously racist because both of them are white and by not giving a non-white person the role of spouse or parent they were totally discriminating.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

LOL, “crass ceiling”. Dude’s attempt to sell the idea that confining women to their traditional role as wives and mothers represents a truer form of equality than allowing lesbians to get married does get some points for originality. We should poke him and see if he’ll come comment here, we need some originality in our trolls.

maggiesausage
maggiesausage
7 years ago

Apparently also lesbians never get married and gay marriage is a nefarious plot to keep all women lonely and excluded.