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Men's Rights Poetry Corner: "Feminists Killed Kurt Cobain."

Kurt Cobain, RIP
Kurt Cobain, RIP

Yesterday, several days after the twentieth anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s suicide, A Voice for Men took a moment to honor the brilliant musician who tragically ended his life at the age of only 27.

Well, not exactly. What they actually did was run a terrible poem using the anniversary of Cobain’s death as an excuse to launch an extended attack on the supposed evils of feminism.

Here’s the opening:

Feminists killed Kurt Cobain
Men my age are all the same
They hate themselves & feel ashamed
For what they are & cannot change

It gets worse. The poem, written by a YouTube MRA calling himself Laudanum Byron, continues on for another 104 lines after this. Only 13 refer to Cobain, and five of these are simply repetitions of the opening accusation: “feminists killed Kurt Cobain.”

The rest of the poem consists of an assortment of Men’s Rights talking points sketched out in the most melodramatic manner possible.

Men chastised, demonized,
Healthy males pathologized
A man is just a dirty ape
Longing, lust, desire: all rape
Your body is a loaded gun
And all that it has done is wrong

Like all too many MRAs, Mr. Byron lets his anger at women get the better of his logic. In the following lines, for example, he lashes out at women both for living off of the earnings of men — and for earning money of their own.

Now the girls get told get what you can
After all, he’s just a man
You’re right to think it’s right to take
Yes you go girl, you make him pay
The girls get taught they must get on
Like work empowered anyone:
To sell your life for dollar bills
Taking calls & stacking shelves
In offices & factories
Fulfilment sought in drudgery

Mr. Byron – no relation, one presumes, to the actual Byron – seems to have only a rudimentary notion of what a poem actually is. While most, though not all, of his lines scan, he has persistent troubles with the concept of rhyme, with his aabb and aabbcc rhyme schemes dominated by half-rhymes and quarter-rhymes and, well, the words have some similar sounds in them.

“Bills” and “shelves” don’t rhyme, or half-rhyme, despite both ending in the letter “s.” “Take” and “pay” aren’t even remotely close.

Admittedly, “chivalry” is a tough one to rhyme. But surely one can do better than “steeds.”

White knights, on their hobbled steeds
Still cling to laws of chivalry
Passed over by the queens they save
A joke to all the other slaves

When he pulls off an actual rhyme, it comes a surprise:

All of us the sons of Cain
Feminists killed Kurt Cobain.

But while we’re on the topic, it’s worth pointing out that feminists and/or feminism did not actually kill Kurt Cobain. (Nor did anyone else; the conspiracy theories suggesting he was murdered don’t make a lot of sense.)

Byron’s only “evidence” linking feminism to the suicide?

He screamed onstage & pierced his flesh
Put on make-up, wore a dress

Look, nobody knows for sure the reason or reasons Cobain took his own life, but he was a troubled man with a history of suicide attempts. He suffered from depression and from a painful, persistent stomach ailment. He was addicted to heroin. And as his suicide note made clear, he found the fame he had achieved to be something of an intolerable burden; he felt like a fake. Like a lot of suicides, Cobain’s could be seen as psychologically overdetermined;  it could have been caused by any or all of these things.

Using his suicide to score cheap rhetorical points against feminism is not only dishonest but highly disrespectful to his memory.

To top off this gigantic platter of disrespect, whoever wrote the headline on AVFM didn’t even bother to spell Cobain’s first name correctly. It’s Kurt, with a K.

avfmCurt

Below, “Byron’s” own reading of his poem. If you can’t bear listening to it — I only made it a couple of stanzas in before I had to shut it off — you can make your way to AVFM, or to YouTube, to read the rest. I feel safe in saying that Kurt, who considered himself a feminist, would have hated it, and A Voice for Men as well.

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leatapp
leatapp
10 years ago

Cobain was a feminist. *eyeroll*

Fibinachi
10 years ago

Betas make noises sensational
and argue about changes generational
They use words like “demographics”, “divergence” and “denominational”

But all true alphas know
that shit’s just a test for show
commies are racists for kyrairchy theory
they’re full of lies and eyes teary
is only a sign you must gaslight some more
manboobed manginas are eerie!
Talk about Crimean history (Putin’s alpha, he’s a deary!)

It’s a white-pocalypse with a risk of genetic drift
you must acquire guns and hatred right swift
if the government cheese didn’t drive women from thrift
they’d surely all be out on the street or in a snow drift

You might find nice people who talk about patience
compassions a virtue they know
they say the rage won’t endlessly grow
be nice, take it slow, listen to your foe
MRA’s are people too, and they’ll undergo
a steady development if you just listen to their woe
When they say things like: “Nice lips, do you blow
you communist racist socialist hypergamous ho”

…. whoa, dude.
Wow.

tesformes
10 years ago

FIBINACHI, YOU BROUGHT WARMTH TO MY HEART AND TEMPORARY RELIEF TO THE RAGE BONERS OF MISOGYNISTS EVERYWHERE. YOU OBVIOUSLY WANT THESE LAVNEDER-SCENTED MISANDRY CANDLES BAD. KEEP GOING FOLKS, MORE POEMS!

jjbeans
jjbeans
10 years ago

Hey, I don’t post very often, I’m just a daily reader. But man, I have to thank you all for the ‘poems’. I laughed out loud on the bus so many times today, people are starting to move away from me.

eseldbosustow
10 years ago

I think Cinzia La Strega already pointed this out, but Kurt Cobain was good friends with the singer from the feminist punk band Bikini Kill who is credited with starting the Riot Grrrls movement, and she was the one who came up with the “Smells Like Teen Spirit” catch phrase. So Nirvana’s most famous song is essentially an inside joke with his feminist bestie. Cobain wouldn’t be happy that anti-feminist misogynists were using him to attack feminism and his feminist friends if he were alive today.

Bina
Bina
10 years ago

MRA Pome

Roses are red,
My semen is gold.
Chicks over 18
Are too fucking old.

Roses are red,
My balls are blue.
Misandrous harlot,
Why can’t I fuck you?

therainparade
10 years ago

I’m laughing so hard. I want to frame this entire thread and hang it on my living room wall.

zippydoo
zippydoo
10 years ago

The once was a man from Nantucket
Who lived all his life in a bucket
His woman named Nan
Ran off with a man
And as for the bucket, aw… FUCK IT, THAT MISANDRIC GOLD MINING HYPERGAMOUS FAT B*****!!! I HATE GIRLS! I’M GOING MY OWN WAY! WOMEN HAVE IT SO EASY! SHE GOT THE BUCKET!!!!

*stage dive onto an empty floor, froth at the mouth, and cry like a baby, and stomp feet demanding to know where the promised harem for alphaing is*

Fibinachi
10 years ago

MRA Pome

Roses are red,
My semen is gold.
Chicks over 18
Are too fucking old.

Roses are red,
My balls are blue.
Misandrous harlot,
Why can’t I fuck you?

Hahah! Perfect. Thank you, Bina.

dlouwe
dlouwe
10 years ago

Roses are red?
There’s white roses too!
MRA poetry does not subscribe
To affirmative action

Yutolia
Yutolia
10 years ago

Cobain was a feminist. *eyeroll*

Well, if he was a feminist, and he killed himself… then he was killed by feminists!!! OMG I just vaguely made an MRA argument “sort of” logical… I’m bleaching my entire being now to get that horrible thought out of my head… X(

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

But he was only killed by one feminist, and NAFALT.

tinyorc
10 years ago

katz:

I hope he follows it up with a poem about how feminists killed the radio star.

I was inches away from spraying tea all over my keyboard and then it only got better from there. Top quality thread, Manboobzers!

opium4themasses
opium4themasses
10 years ago

Some of these are scary and hilariously close to the mark. Truly you can’t satirize MRAs Poe-try.

Also, didn’t a laudanum post here recently?

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

Yeah, but that laudanum was the one that came here to yell at David for his male privilege. So most likely very much not the same laudanum.

bluecat
bluecat
10 years ago

OK, I’ll have a bash, though the standard is daunting.

MRA haiku:

I hate women and
expect to shag them. If not
I haz angry feels.

I know a haiku should have a seasonal reference but MISANDRY IS ALL YEAR ROUND!

katz
10 years ago

Ladies, they knew their place way back in ’52
If there were choices to be made, they looked to you
They all wore dresses, no one had a short hairdo
Oh ah oh

Men made the art and they wrote every symphony
And they invented all the new technology
And so you see that you must show respect to me
Oh ah oh

I met your children
Oh ah oh
Who’d you spermjack then?

Feminists killed the radio star
Feminists killed the radio star
Friendzones came and broke my heart
We must have sex we’ve gone too far

Oh ah oh oh oh
Oh ah oh oh oh

One time we met in an abandoned Toronto
That was our rally, come on, why didn’t you go?
Still that was quite a big success, I’ll have you know
Oh ah oh

Farrell’s the first one
Oh ah oh
He’ll be the last one

And now we meet in an abandoned studio
You hear the playback and it seems so long ago
And you remember, the jingles used to go,
oh-a-oh
You were the first one
oh-a-oh
You were the last one

Feminists killed the radio star
Feminists killed the radio star
In my mind and in this bar
We must have sex we’ve gone too far

Oh ah oh oh oh
Oh ah oh oh oh

Feminists killed the radio star
Feminists killed the radio star
In my mind and in this bar
We must have sex we’ve gone too far
Men invented the VCR

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

Sorry guys, all my writing skill points got dumped into fiction; I can’t do poetry to save my ass. Instead, please accept my contribution of an animated Marilyn Manson singing about the Food Pyramid.

RE: Zach

Maybe we should have some compassion instead of more hate.

I do feel compassion… for Kurt Cobain. If I’d committed suicide and had poetry like this written about me, I’d be a poltergeist. Also, just because this dude hates himself doesn’t mean I have to feel sorry for him. Also, if you think THIS is hatred, you really haven’t hung around here long.

tinyorc
10 years ago

@katz I AM DEAD.

Also, more generally, I had no idea that Kurt Cobain was such an ardent feminist. Like most nineties kids, I loved Nirvana’s music but I never really got behind the Kurt Cobain personality cult, though I read some of his diaries later in life. Anyway, he sounds like he was a great ally. Awesome. Thanks to MRAs, I have learned something new about feminism!

katz
10 years ago

…Oops, the original 2nd stanza sneaked in there after my version. Sorry.

Binjabreel
Binjabreel
10 years ago

I can’t write poetry, but I CAN rip off Tom Jones songs! Let me see…

WHATS NEW MRA?
WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH,
WHAT’S NEW MRA?
WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH

WHATS NEW MRA?
WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH,
WHAT’S NEW MRA?
WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH.

cloudiah
10 years ago

Still tired and stressed, but I figured that the least I could do is contribute a revised ad jingle:

I wish I were a men’s rights advocate
That is what I truly wish to be
’cause if i were a men’s rights advocate
Everyone would be so bored
Oh everyone would be really bored
Everyone would be so bored with me

I thought it might look more poetic if I translated it into Italian, so:

Vorrei che fossi un sostenitore dei diritti degli uomini
Questo è ciò che veramente voglio essere
Perche ‘se fossi un sostenitore dei diritti degli uomini
Tutti sarebbero così annoiato
O tutti sarebbe davvero annoiato
Tutti sarebbero così annoiato con me

Note that I don’t actually speak Italian, so I blame Google translate for any errors. I’m a woman, so it’s all about female hypoagency.

Fibinachi
10 years ago

Ladies, they knew their place way back in ’52
If there were choices to be made, they looked to you
They all wore dresses, no one had a short hairdo
Oh ah oh

That is just perfect, Katz. Perfect.

blackmetalvalkyrie
blackmetalvalkyrie
10 years ago

What an ego maniac to use the name of a great poet for this drivel. Most times I can’t even read man boobz bc I am disgusted by mra misogyny but this is so bad that its hilarious.

leftwingfox
10 years ago

Auggziliary: If it’s short for Curtis, perhaps.

Katz: OMG, You killed me! Laughed to Death! Misandry! I has been slain by feminists!