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Men's Rights Poetry Corner: "Feminists Killed Kurt Cobain."

Kurt Cobain, RIP
Kurt Cobain, RIP

Yesterday, several days after the twentieth anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s suicide, A Voice for Men took a moment to honor the brilliant musician who tragically ended his life at the age of only 27.

Well, not exactly. What they actually did was run a terrible poem using the anniversary of Cobain’s death as an excuse to launch an extended attack on the supposed evils of feminism.

Here’s the opening:

Feminists killed Kurt Cobain
Men my age are all the same
They hate themselves & feel ashamed
For what they are & cannot change

It gets worse. The poem, written by a YouTube MRA calling himself Laudanum Byron, continues on for another 104 lines after this. Only 13 refer to Cobain, and five of these are simply repetitions of the opening accusation: “feminists killed Kurt Cobain.”

The rest of the poem consists of an assortment of Men’s Rights talking points sketched out in the most melodramatic manner possible.

Men chastised, demonized,
Healthy males pathologized
A man is just a dirty ape
Longing, lust, desire: all rape
Your body is a loaded gun
And all that it has done is wrong

Like all too many MRAs, Mr. Byron lets his anger at women get the better of his logic. In the following lines, for example, he lashes out at women both for living off of the earnings of men — and for earning money of their own.

Now the girls get told get what you can
After all, he’s just a man
You’re right to think it’s right to take
Yes you go girl, you make him pay
The girls get taught they must get on
Like work empowered anyone:
To sell your life for dollar bills
Taking calls & stacking shelves
In offices & factories
Fulfilment sought in drudgery

Mr. Byron – no relation, one presumes, to the actual Byron – seems to have only a rudimentary notion of what a poem actually is. While most, though not all, of his lines scan, he has persistent troubles with the concept of rhyme, with his aabb and aabbcc rhyme schemes dominated by half-rhymes and quarter-rhymes and, well, the words have some similar sounds in them.

“Bills” and “shelves” don’t rhyme, or half-rhyme, despite both ending in the letter “s.” “Take” and “pay” aren’t even remotely close.

Admittedly, “chivalry” is a tough one to rhyme. But surely one can do better than “steeds.”

White knights, on their hobbled steeds
Still cling to laws of chivalry
Passed over by the queens they save
A joke to all the other slaves

When he pulls off an actual rhyme, it comes a surprise:

All of us the sons of Cain
Feminists killed Kurt Cobain.

But while we’re on the topic, it’s worth pointing out that feminists and/or feminism did not actually kill Kurt Cobain. (Nor did anyone else; the conspiracy theories suggesting he was murdered don’t make a lot of sense.)

Byron’s only “evidence” linking feminism to the suicide?

He screamed onstage & pierced his flesh
Put on make-up, wore a dress

Look, nobody knows for sure the reason or reasons Cobain took his own life, but he was a troubled man with a history of suicide attempts. He suffered from depression and from a painful, persistent stomach ailment. He was addicted to heroin. And as his suicide note made clear, he found the fame he had achieved to be something of an intolerable burden; he felt like a fake. Like a lot of suicides, Cobain’s could be seen as psychologically overdetermined;  it could have been caused by any or all of these things.

Using his suicide to score cheap rhetorical points against feminism is not only dishonest but highly disrespectful to his memory.

To top off this gigantic platter of disrespect, whoever wrote the headline on AVFM didn’t even bother to spell Cobain’s first name correctly. It’s Kurt, with a K.

avfmCurt

Below, “Byron’s” own reading of his poem. If you can’t bear listening to it — I only made it a couple of stanzas in before I had to shut it off — you can make your way to AVFM, or to YouTube, to read the rest. I feel safe in saying that Kurt, who considered himself a feminist, would have hated it, and A Voice for Men as well.

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Bina
Bina
7 years ago

MRA photographer Steve Brule is not in the room, but was being told off by security. The event does not allow video/pics #QUFeminism

Oh, too bad, Paulie…looks like you won’t have any pictures for your little “Register-Her” harassment site. Bwahahaha!

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
7 years ago

Oops, ninja’d by David.

Nina, I was reading some comments by the misters recently and one of them mentioned that Register-Her content was gone. I looked and I can’t see anything but a bare-bones version of a wiki page.

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
7 years ago

*Bina. Argh, sorry!

tesformes
7 years ago

The only Steve Brule I want around me is Dr. Steve Brule!

tesformes
7 years ago

Video embed fail.

10knives
10knives
7 years ago

Burma Shave…?

katz
7 years ago

Slant rhyming is a thing, but there’s still a technique to it. Laudanum is no Emily Dickinson.

Cthulhu's Intern
7 years ago

You know, it shows just how much he actually cares about Cobain when only 9 lines in that poem are about him and 5 of those are the exact same line repeated.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

Is this the same guy who did that “Hatred of Women” song? His voice seems almost the same. They are also equally terrible.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
7 years ago

Oh MRAs killed Yogi Bear
My tighty whities have a tear
Is that a pigeon over there?
For many things in life are bad
And this is why I have no spork
With which to eat my oatmeal plain
As something something Spanish Main
Yes MRAs killed Yogi Bear
And Boo Boo and that ranger there
And this is why my socks don’t match
And all there is to eat is hash
O PUAs killed Great Gazoo
And that’s why all the sheep go bah

naltia
naltia
7 years ago

Hah, Sir Bodsworth your poem reminded me of this classic and sophisticated poem from my childhood.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear,
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair.
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t very fuzzy was he?

Cinzia La Strega
7 years ago

Watch “The Punk Singer” about Kathleen Hanna (Bikini Kill). She had enormous influence on Kurt Cobain, and is actually credited with the line “smells like Teen Spirit.” Kurt must be rolling over in his grave.

breadandrosesblogger
7 years ago

As a Nirvana fan I find this nauseating. As a feminist I feel even worse. Way to spit on Kurt Cobain’s memory, AVfM.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

And then this guy came along and killed poetry in revenge. That’s not going to bring Kurt back, you know.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Bina, I was reading some comments by the misters recently and one of them mentioned that Register-Her content was gone. I looked and I can’t see anything but a bare-bones version of a wiki page.

Whee! Best news I’ve heard all night. Guess either someone threatened to sue for defamation of character, or else it cost too much for the Greatest Human Rights Movement In The History Of Ever. Either way, ha ha!

tesformes
7 years ago

CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR AWESOME IDEAS!

IT’S TIME FOR THE MANBOOBZ POETRY SLAM! TIME FOR SOME HARD HITTING RHYMES AND METAPHORS AND SHIT, IN HONOR OF ALL THE DEAD FEMINISTS YOU CAN THINK OF! COME AT ME WITH SOME HEAVY HEAVY VERBIAGE AND YOU CAN WIN SOME SCENTED MISANDRY CANDLES FROM AN ORGANIC, SUSTAINABLE, DAIRY FARM IN VERMONT SUPPORTED ENTIRELY BY BETA BUX AND GOVERNMENT CHEESE AND RUN BY SOME LESBIANS WHO WORK FOR THE UN’S SECRET INTERNATIONAL FEMINISM SQUAD!

BODSWORTH, YOU DID GOOD. MORE LIKE GODSWORTH, AMIRITE?

LET ME TRY ONE IN ALL LOWER CASE

paul elam is so nasty
by tesformes

paul elam stands on the street corner at night
not the same paul elam from avfm
a totally different guy
also named paul elam

he is not a prostitute, no
he lives off dat government cheese
but women take it from him
they take it through his penis

why does he stand on the street corner?
he is holding a sign
it says, just because there’s a demand
doesn’t mean you have to offer

there’s a pretty lady’s bum on the sign

paul elam stands on that corner all day
all night and all damn day
he stands on that corner all day
and sometimes he flings his feces at passerby

sometimes he masturbates in public

the police do nothing because he is crazy
he was hit by a car once and lived
he got up and went back to his sign
the driver accidentally hit him again backing up

he sleeps in a cardboard box
next to a homeless shelter run by feminists
that’ll show them
kids draw a mustache on his face every night

I once drew a penis on his sign but he didn’t notice for three weeks

paul elam stands on a street corner at night
not the same guy from avfm
a totally different guy
also named paul elam

there are a lot of paul elams

I HOPE YOU PEOPLE LIKED THAT. LETS SEE WHAT YOU GUYS GOT! REMEMBER, FIRST PRIZE ARE THESE SCENTED MISANDRY CANDLES, WHICH SMELL LIKE LAVENDER AND ARE 100% ORGANIC FEMINIST LESBIAN ENVIRONMENTALIST ATHEIST BUDDHIST KABBALAH LIBERAL PZ MYERS COMMUNISM MISANDRY WAGE GAP FALSE RAPE ACCUSATION FORESKIN VEGAN SODOMY TAMPON ANDREA DWORKIN FOURTH WAVE-FRIENDLY, CERTIFIED BY THE UN LESBIAN FEMINIST COMMITTEE OF GREAT POWER AND INFLUENCE.

PEACE AND SNAPS

Seranvali
Seranvali
7 years ago

To take away some of the horrible taste left behind by Laudanum Byron I offer you another song about Kurt Cobain by John Darnielle sung withThe Mountain Goats:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d81N0_zZhEA

You can find the lyrics here:

http://songmeanings.com/m/songs/view/3530822107858542473/

Robert
Robert
7 years ago

Naltia,
I always thought that line was “ate his hair”. My husband has always disagreed. I’ll give him this point.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Apologies to Thin White Rope, but that poem reminds me of one of their lyrics:

I need lithium laudanum and you, you make me feel the same

AND I LOVE THE POETRY ON THIS THREAD. If I wasn’t really tired/stressed out, I would totally play along.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

he is not a prostitute, no
he lives off dat government cheese
but women take it from him
they take it through his penis

I laughed embarrassingly loud.

tesformes
7 years ago

THAT’S OKAY CLOUDIAH. YOU USED ALL CAPS SO YOU’RE GOOD.

mildlymagnificent
7 years ago

AND RUN BY SOME LESBIANS WHO WORK FOR THE UN’S SECRET INTERNATIONAL FEMINISM SQUAD!

Well, dang. You’ve revealed our secret. I s’pose we’ll have to put the bon-bons on the table by the fainting couch and go out and do something now.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

Roses are red
My sperm is golden
Friend zone me
And you’re worse than Bin Laden

Seranvali
Seranvali
7 years ago

Wierwoodtreehugger:

OMG! That was classic! Hahahahaha!

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

Thanks!

tesformes
7 years ago

WOW WEIRWOOD. BIN LADEN KILLED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE. YOU MUST’VE GOTTEN AT LEAST FIVE SAD BONERS FROM BITCHY WOMEN ON THE BUS IN ORDER TO HAVE THAT LEVEL OF PAIN. THE FRIENDZONE TRULY IS AUSCHWITZ. THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR STORIES.

SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP FOOD STAMPS SNAP SNAP

tesformes
7 years ago

MORE POEMS PEOPLE! DON’T MAKE ME RAISE A BUNCH OF MONEY ON KICKSTARTER AND MAKE A YOUTUBE SERIES ABOUT GENDER TROPES IN SLAM POETRY! THAT WOULD BE MISANDRY!

katz
7 years ago

Feminists killed William Shatner
Because they gave him sad boners
He was nice and held doors for them
But they still wouldn’t have sex with him

Feminists killed William Shatner
Oh wait I just looked it up
Turns out he’s still alive
Fuck
I mean I’m glad he’s still alive it just kind of messes up my poem

tesformes
7 years ago

WOW KATZ, WAY TO DECONSTRUCT THE GENRE. WOULD YOU MIND RECONSTRUCTING IT THOUGH? OTHER PEOPLE WANT TO WRITE POEMS TOO.

katz
7 years ago

And an Ode to the OP:

Roses are red,
Alyssum are tiny,
Laudanum Byron’s a pain in the hiney.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
7 years ago

Feminists killed Roland P. Hatzedoupolos
They killed him so completely
That you have never even heard of him
Such is their terrible power

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

Women over 25
They do hurt my manly pride
Why should a girl exist
If she does not give my boner a lift?

Jennifer Lawrence cut her hair
It laid the feminazi agenda bare
They want to make girls unsuitable to screw
And turn them into ugly old shrews

Why do girls dare to gain weight?
That is not what high value males want in a mate
It saddens my boner when girls don’t shave
It makes me want to go my own way

The only good girls are Russian or Asian
They never discovered feminism and sin
American women only like Sex and the City
And cats and shoes and not showing my boner pity

katz
7 years ago

*snap snap snap snap*

katz
7 years ago

Bodsworth: Your poem reminds me of this Oglaf.

AL3H
AL3H
7 years ago

Your opulent breasts,
we cannot touch?!?! Misandry!!!
Because “biotruths”.

I assume haikus count. If not, would they count if part or all of the haiku was in caps?

PJ
PJ
7 years ago

For God’s sake, let us sit upon the ground
And tell sad stories of the death of boners;
How some have been friendzoned; some slain by feminists,
Some haunted by the ghosts of fat girls and manginas;
Some poison’d by their wives: some creeping kill’d;
All murder’d.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

PJ,
Is that an MRA version of ee cummings?

PJ
PJ
7 years ago

weirwoodtreehugger

No, it’s from Shakespeare’s Richard II

For God’s sake, let us sit upon the ground
And tell sad stories of the death of kings;
How some have been deposed; some slain in war,
Some haunted by the ghosts they have deposed;
Some poison’d by their wives: some sleeping kill’d;
All murder’d:

katz
7 years ago

I imagine that an MRA haiku would have slightly wrong syllable counts.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

Now I see it! Maybe if I feel motivated, I’ll do an MRA Lady Macbeth later.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
7 years ago

MRA haikus can have whatever syllable count at all, since Asian poetry is so submissive.

theseventhguest
theseventhguest
7 years ago

it’s been a while since i wrote a poem, but i’ll give it a try.

lament of the age of man

i’m not her friend,
but i’m in the zone.
if i do good deeds
perhaps we’ll bone.

she found me out,
the feminist slut.
i know her secret,
misadry.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

I think your first problem may be explaining what a syllable is to MRAs.

AL3H
AL3H
7 years ago

To stuck-up frat girls,
I have a house RIGHT ON THE BEACH.
Now your a SPINSTER.

Better? Is the “your” “you’re” thing too much? (I like the “Now I live … and your a SPINSTER” version more, but it has the correct number of syllables ).

Also, go everyone else with the rhyming and literary reference poetry! 🙂

AL3H
AL3H
7 years ago

MRA haikus can have whatever syllable count at all, since Asian poetry is so submissive.

I nearly snorted cola out my nose when I read that. Possibly TMI. Possibly I should also not check manboobz while drinking cola.

Lady Ballsnip
Lady Ballsnip
7 years ago

It’s a bit like saying Western women caused the massive earthquake in Pakistan by not wearing modest veils and scarfs.

Fibinachi
Fibinachi
7 years ago

What is it with MRA’s and Lord Byron? And they always quote the wrong part. Look, just last week, that “Feminist Communist Menace” guy quoted the wrong part of Child Harold’s Pilgrimage.

MRA haikus can have whatever syllable count at all, since Asian poetry is so submissive.

That’s beautiful, Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III. So beautiful.
I giggled.
————

The World is Weird
Fibinachi

We put a bro in orbit, he spins around the earth
a carapace of hope and plastic, a satelite in voidspanned berth

But with this single man we have a single plan
began when bros of Babylon planned to span
the space between here and there
Because
THE MOON FLOATS FAR AWAY
THAT SULTRY SIDEREAL SLUT
and with a rocket full of fuel and fury we’ll cross the gulf
that place worst, the inter-spacial friend-zone
between two bodies meant to touch
We’ve got a carbon-nano-tuble cable trailing 4600 kilometres behind
and we’ll tow that bitch into the equator so she’ll finally fall in line!

The astro-physicists all cry in despair
“YOU CAN’T BRING THE MOON FROM OVER THERE!”
Bro-science laughs at their unambitious cosmology
we put our faith in third-grade astrology, eschatology
( a slice of phrenology, rumpology and eldritch epistemology)

When the moon finally ceases her draconic months of indiscriminate teasing
and gets with the pleasing
we’ll find we’ll be leasing out real-estate
and all those feminists be ceasing
their atrocious aberant superior sneezing
and begin their appeasing

That vast gulf will soon be decreasing in size
despite the freezing, inimical approach to man
that choking hellscape of no air to breathe
The friend-zone is surely a hellish place
Compared to what, how bad is really mere outer space?

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

Pillses are red
Pillses are blue
Nasssssssty feminists
Killed Bambi’s mother

That last word, by not rhyming, is denying its essential subservient nature and severing the natural relations between verses. MISSCANDRY!

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

A is for all the quality skirts we bang
L is for logical charts, graphs, and slang
P is for photographing up young girls’ skirts
H is for How could you feminist bitches do this to Kurt?
A is for average day game at Starbucks
M is for mining and mammoth and morose angry fucks
A is for atrocious spelling and grammar
N is for negging your blog readers from a fake Polish slammer

Fibinachi
7 years ago

MHRA find male oppression satanical
Their sight on female forces tyrannical.
“Those bitches are mean!
They’re full of rage and they scream!”

(All that matters is activism about matters anatomical)