The latest outrageous assault on Men’s Rights? Well, according to more than a thousand upvoters* on Reddit, it’s this: some gym somewhere might be considering women only hours in its weight room to accommodate women who feel uncomfortable lifting amongst men.
A female MRA who goes by the name of stuck_at_starbucks came to the Men’s Rights subreddit with this tale of anti-male injustice from her local gym:
I was on the treadmill and saw two women start walking towards the weight room, then stop at the entrance and one if them said, “oh nooooo, we can’t go in there, there’s men!” They started complaining that it “wasn’t fair” that they “couldn’t use the weight room ” and took it to the front desk. The manager came out and told them that they were considering having girls only hours for the weight room.
Naturally, the Men’s Rightsers responded to this with the calm, reasoned comments for which they have become so famous. Ah, who am I kidding: they posted nearly 300 comments that ran the gamut from screechy outrage to, well, slightly-less screechy outrage.
Bilbuthehobbit won nearly two dozen upvotes by complaining that these “those bitches with 40 IQ should stop hitting the gym and hit the local library to get dem brain juices flowin.”
A number of commenters suggested that women-only hours would be the virtual equivalent of Jim Crow laws. Ghebert001 took it as a great opportunity to pull out the n-word:
![ghebert001 9 points 1 day ago (13|4) Essentially it boils down to "We can't use the weight room with those filthy niggers in there. We need a time that's only for whites". permalink save report give gold reply [–]carniemechanic 5 points 1 day ago (5|0) You've captured the essence of it.](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/gher.png?ssl=1)
Others contemplated some kind of civil disobedience to fight this as-yet-nonexistent policy:
![Aaron565 7 points 1 day ago (7|0) Meh, I would just show up during women only hours. It would be great to watch their faces churn. permalink save parent report give gold reply [–]cynwrig 4 points 18 hours ago (4|0) Instead of a sit-in, you can call it a 'lift-in'.](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/aaron.png?ssl=1)
Nightforker suggested that the complaining women were probably just lazy fatties anyway:
While Vaker extended a similar analysis to “most women.”
Gosh, I wonder why some women might see themselves as unwelcome in male-dominated gyms?
But my favorite exchange in the whole thread was this one, in which BlueOak9 argued that what the complaining lady needed was some good old-fashioned forced labor:
![blueoak9 14 points 1 day ago (14|0) Drag her out to work on a road crew. She'll get all the anaerobic exercise she could ever need. permalink save report give gold reply [–]Happypants 21 points 1 day ago* (22|1) And pretty much every guy will ignore the fact that she's a woman just like pretty much every guy in that weight room would have. I worked in garages for years. The only women that ever got sexually harassed were the ones up front who used their tits to sell tires. The women who came into the shop, worked, and showed the were worth their weight got the same treatment any of the guys did (probably a little bit better... never saw one get smacked in the vag as she came around a corner).](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/blue.png?ssl=1)
Yep, that’s right, 21 upvotes for a comment suggesting that the only women who get sexually harassed in garages more or less deserve it because they “use their tits to sell tires.”
Remember: the Men’s Rights subreddit by and large represents the more moderate wing of the Men’s Rights movement. This is what moderate MRAs look like.
* The post in question, last I checked, had gotten 1130 upvotes and 305 downvotes for a net 825 upvotes.
Bina, sister, I feel your pain XD
Maybe the men could be provided with a trail of Reese’s Pieces to help find their way out again, like ET.
Or a plait of hair, like Rapunzel.
Well, I suppose, by the technical definition of the word, such women-only hours would be a form of segregation. You’d have to ignore the entire context, of, well, *everything* to make a point out of it, though. This would require a very simple-minded approach unconcerned with facts which do not… oh, right, MRAs.
The thing is, how many men are *seriously* demanding stuff like men-only hours? I mean, seriously, not just as a talking point. There might well be a need for male safe spaces, but it doesn’t exactly seem very widespread. That’s why there are so many female safe spaces and times and rarely any male ones: Because there is an actual demand for the former.
So, yes, as usual, just a silly MRA talking point again to show how evil “misandrist” the world is.
::snortle::
::snicker::
Part of the reason for the rare-to-find woman’s only gym is because women get tired of being hit on by creepers. And it’s uncomfortable going back repeatedly to find that same guy there day in and day out, especially when she knows he’s upset with her for turning him down.
Anti-fems don’t understand this. And I find it more annoying when female anti-fems can’t even grasp it.
That’s not to say it’s never a case of misandry. I often notice it’s just a ‘distrust of men’ or a bit of androphobia. Anti-fems have trouble noticing the difference.
I remember a very attractive woman who clearly had her wedding ring displayed and still guys were coming onto her. They thought the ring was just some perv-deterrent. Turns out she actually came in with her husband one day — a big guy — and that put an end to the unwanted advances as far as I knew.
@AK
Woot!!!!! Strength training is fun! 🙂 Also, I like having proper muscles as I could e.g. lift my big duffel bag onto the rack on the train when I went on holiday.
I had problems as my two gym buddies left the country in quick succession, so I couldn’t do bench pressing as I had no spotter. Also, I am at a tech uni, so more often than not I am the only woman in the gym, and if not, the only one in the weights section. There have been a number of incidents where people were obviously staring at certain bits of me (and in one case it was my buddy that caught them … so I don’t know who they are), so I really didn’t feel particularly comfortable asking a guy I didn’t know for help with spotting. Anyway, I eventually found these stands that could be used to put the weights bar on (in the case I couldn’t lift it) … but it took two months to work this out. The end of the story: WooHoo … benchpressing for me!!!
Now to figure out how to deadlift. The problem is that I can’t even pick up an empty bar as 1) my back muscles are really weak and 2) an empty bar is too close to the ground.
Felisha, misandry isn’t actually a thing, and distrust of men usually has a damn good cause. Hell, our whole society reminds us that we need to distrust men, at the same time as blaming us when we do – not least if we are proven right in our distrust.
I like this description – “They thought the ring was just some perv-deterrent. ” Yep, it was, but they didn’t grasp that they were the perves in question.
Are women’s-only gyms rare in the US? I can think of three franchises here off the top of my head – Fernwood, Curves and Contours – and I don’t suppose they’re Australian chains. Sort of surprising, given our much smaller population, if we’re better catered for.
IME there would be no need for a women only time in thew weight room because, like Kitteh said, there are plenty of women only gyms and most guys are capable of being decent people. So if there really are women at that gym wanting a woman only time then there are probably some specific guys there causing a problem.
I wonder if these complaining MRAs would complain more or less if a few guys were banned from the gym rather than calling for a woman specific time in the weight room.
Kim – hard to tell which would have them whining more. Being prevented in any way from harassing women = MISANDRY and denial of male sexuality and blahblahblahblah.
Hi.
About two years ago, I decided I’d try to do that “get into shape thing” everyone was talking about, and got myself a gym membership.
Initially, I was unable to perform a single anything with any weight, because I mostly consists of hot air, trace amounts of caffiene and a dogged determination not to sleep.
A few days ago, I finished my first of 10 X 100 kg deadlift.
The bending down and getting the bar is, yeah, the worst part.
I’d recommend starting with something else entirely, and forgetting about the deadlift for a while. I did a progressive amount of bridges (This WikiHow seems to be useful: http://www.wikihow.com/Perform-the-Bridge-Exercise), that went from very little off the floor to a full bridge.
That helped a lot with the flexibility and general back strength.
If your gym has kettlebells, you can work on performing a kettlebell swing. Very low weight (Personally I started with…. 4kg, according to my old notes). It’s the same general movement, but requires less bending, initially – plus the chances of doing them poorly or destroying your spine is much, much less. Then you can work up to gradually increasing higher weights, which can then translate to deadlifting at some point if you want (Hell, get to >20 in kb weight and you can just do that amount in deadlifts)
Also, I think the basic bar in most gyms is between 11 and 20 kg. So maybe start with, like, a stick. I did!
Also-also, I found you could leverage the bar off the ground by putting weights under bar at the points were the weights on the bar touch the ground. A few extra cm’s does a lot, and if you perform the full exercise anyway, you don’t noticably lessen the impact because of the raised position. If you need to raise it higher, just add more weights.
(That does assume you are using free weights and that they’re those big round blocks that can actively support the bar, though)
———-
My city has a fair amount of women only gyms, and also a fair amount of gyms in general. That and pizza shops.
I don’t think either is odd.
Erh, sorry if that was massively inappropriate? I don’ think anyone was actually asking for advice, but it was like: “Hey! This thing is a thing I have had troubles with, and I know how to make less trouble! At least stuff that worked for me!”
I looked at that and had brain fart: “Why women-only pizza shops?”
: P
I would bet money that stuck_at_starbucks witnessed something more like this:
Woman 1: “Uh, the weight room looks pretty full right now. All men.”
Woman 2: “Oh. …I’m not sure I’m comfortable going in there right now.”
Woman 1: “Yeah, me neither. Maybe we should try to come back another time.”
Woman 2: “Bummer. I was actually excited about working on my lifts today.”
Woman 1: “Aw, I know. Hey, let’s ask the front desk if there’s a good time when the weight room tends to be less crowded.”
Manager: “Funny you should ask; we’ve just been considering reserving some women-only time slots for our weight room. Is that something you might be interested in?”
Women 1&2: “Actually, that would be great. We’d attend.”
Because as much as I know that awful, judgey people can come in any gender, I’ve gone to gyms for years, and have never heard the grown women there say, “Ewwwwwww, boy cooties, so unfaaaaair”.
I haven’t thought boy cooties, but I’ve definitely thought “eww, a grunter”. Or “eww, a sweaty non-wiping down the bench guy” or “ewww, a lift weights too heavy for him and then drop them loudly on the ground guy”, all of whom I’d rather not be anywhere near.
Your opening paragraph made it well worth it, for me anyway. Do you have a blog Fibi? I could definitely handle reading more of your words.
Misandry can be a thing on the personal level. Not so much on the social or institutional level, of course. And androphobia is not *always* justified. That being said… justifications don’t really matter. If there is a need for “safe spaces” of sorts, like women only gyms, those should exist. Plus, yeah, it doesn’t exactly take much imagination to believe that gyms are one of those places where women get hit on especially often, whether they like it or not. Men just (usually…) don’t have to deal with those problems.
I *would* most likely complain if there were women-only pizza shops, though :p
I do and I have had one for years and years (7, by my reckoning).
And in all that time I have moved platforms a lot and made, oh, 4 posts or so.
http://fibinaut.wordpress.com/
Like Kitteh said, that mistrust is usually earned. I’m calling bullshit on misandry.
Huh. I’m almost surprised–the most common ‘controversy’ I’ve encountered re: women-only times at gyms has been in cases where Muslim women were making the request for religious reasons–and given the number of MRAtheists out there, I would’ve thought a thread like that would’ve been rife with the usual blend of idiocy and racism that goes with Islamophobia.
@Fibinachi
I was complaining, however, I don’t think your response was inappropriate. I started going to the gym six months ago, and what little I know, I learned from my two gym buddies (since left). As I am working overseas, don’t speak the language well enough to take classes, and I was complaining as I would actually like to be able to deadlift, and can’t, so you were helpful. 😀
By the way, if I did think it were inappropriate, I would have a go at explaining what I wanted to say in a clearer way, so even in that case I don’t see there being a problem.
Also, I agree that your opening description was very very excellent. 🙂
As for suggestions, bridges look very doable. I shall try when I get home. The thing I am most worried about is my back … and these look safe. Also, while deadlifting looks like fun, to tell the truth, my posture isn’t excellent, so deadlifting aside, any increase in back/core muscle strength would be a very welcome added bonus.
The bars I know about are 20kg. Fortunately for me, when I started I could bench press 20kg, but for deadlifting I was like: “GGGGNNNNNNNNN!!!!! … nope”.
I googled “kettlebell” and “kettlebell swing”, and they look doable. We may not have kettlebells (if we do they are on the other side of the storeroom with the shelves and I haven’t had a look there) … but according to the internet, you can do a kettlebell swing with dumbbells … which we definitely have. I think I will start with that. This way has the added advantage that I can move to progressively heavier dumbbells as I improve, as opposed to just making muted “GGGGGGNNNNNNN!!!!” noises and feeling silly.
I like this. The weights for the bars are individual and could definitely be used to make a small stand. I will keep this idea in mind, as maybe I can’t do it yet, but proper deadlifts with a bar do look fun.
Sounds like a plan! Deadlifting here I come … 😀
Thanks!
The gym I go to has a mirrored room with mats set aside for yoga, stretching, light dumbbells, exercise balls, etc. It’s nominally designated for women, but nobody ever polices that. Occasionally you see a guy in there using the exercise bikes or doing downward facing dog alongside his girlfriend, but I never see anyone running to the front desk pointing and screaming “Uncleeeeeean!” It’s not a menstrual tent.
Some people just want a quieter, more private atmosphere to work out in, and/or they’re beginners and intimidated by pounding music, sweat, loud grunts, and barbells clanging on the floor, and/or they don’t want to work out among a bunch of condescending tools like the commenters above. Smart gyms recognize that need and provide different workout experiences to accommodate their patrons. They’re not trying to be discriminatory.
I’m willing to bet that feMRA’s version was highly distorted. I know women that won’t join a gym because they don’t want to be ogled by men/workout with men, but that scenario is just bullshit.
I recently changed gyms because most of the guys went in groups and monopolized the weight area doing their circuit training, thought they were too good to wipe down equipment they used, and would stand in front of you to pose/ admire their muscles in the mirrored wall. One male trainer was constantly trying to push women off of equipment or out of the small free floor area for his male clients. It didn’t help that it was mostly young guys running the place.
I can’t help the feeling that if gym admins and not-creepy guys did not ignore or tolerate creeps, there wouldn’t be such a demand for women-only hours.
Is it so hard to enforce a “don’t be an asshole” policy in gyms?
Also, I bet if anyone set up a “woman friendly” gym, in which guys are allowed to work out but not to disrespect women, MRAs would still be crying “misandry!”
[Content note: sexual harassment]
I think it’s quite reasonable to not want to go to the gym when there are men around. It’s no stretch to say that a sizable percentage of men in gyms are the kind of creeps who stare down at women in the gym.
Women’s safety and boundaries are more important than the feelings of a man who is annoyed at those women because “not all men are bad.” Of course many men are decent enough to not harass women in the gym. But regardless, he should instead focus on calling out the men who harass women at the gym. If he really isn’t like those other men, then he should prove himself by not being silent when he sees a man in the gym comment on a woman’s breasts when she is running on a treadmill. Because, given the prevalence of harassment from men in gyms, it isn’t unreasonable at all for women to distrust them.