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James Franco's text game was "solid," says pickup artist Christian McQueen

franco1

James Franco displays his charm
James Franco displays his subtle text technique

So at this point you presumably all know about James Franco’s less-than-successful attempt to text his way into the pants of a 17-year old fan — which, if it wasn’t just a publicity stunt for his latest movie, which happens to be about a creepy teacher preying on a student, was pretty creepy for real.

You might have been struck by the, er, bluntness his approach, which could be summarized as the “I’m James Franco, are you technically of legal age in New York State, can I get you alone in a room with me right now, no I’m really James Franco, really” technique.

But what you haven’t seen yet is an analysis of Mr. Franco’s TEXT GAME by a recognized expert in the field. And by expert I mean our new friend Christian McQueen, the Alpha Playboy with the Obviously Fake Name.

Mr. McQueen asks the timeless question: Was Mr. Franco’s TEXT GAME desperate or just direct?

To some it may seem like he’s being ‘thirsty’, but is he really? Or his text game actually the type of game that high value men use?

After going line for line through Mr. Franco’s conversational gambits with the wary teenager — which, you may recall, not only failed to convince her to come to his room but also created a bit of an embarrassing scandal for him — McQueen concludes that Franco’s game was …. “solid.”

No, really.

You see, when you’re James Franco, you can just go ahead and behave like some dude straight out of the CreepyPM subreddit, because you have “so many options, that [you] can go Ultra-Direct in [your] text game and many players who are on a great level utilize this.”

Don’t bother with small talk. Don’t bother with charm. All you need to do is state your famous name, determine if she is of legal age in the state you are in (and she was, in New York), and then proceed to work out the logisitics. And BAM, you’re in like Flynn. (Though one imagines that the real Erroll Flynn actually tried to work some personal charm into his approach with women.)

McQueen sums it up for us mere mortals:

[H]is ’game’ was not ‘thirsty’, but simply Direct. While not great, it was solid.

He is a celebrity, so it’s less about him using Game and more about him asking questions as though they are completing a transaction. She gets to fuck a celebrity and he gets her pussy. Simple.

Yeah. Except that none of that happened and now a guy who could have slept with any one of literally millions of enthusiastic volunteers over the age of 18 is now the poster boy for celebrity creepiness.

He could have been smoother and possibly gotten the bang, but he probably does not care.

Yeah. Unless this is all a publicity stunt, I’m thinking that he probably does care just a little bit now.

This is classic I Don’t Give A Fuck Game.

When your value is high and your time is precious, you don’t give a fuck if she rejects you. This is Next Level.

Well, if by “Next Level” you mean “an approach so crude and creepy that it not only squicked out the 17 year old fan that it was directed at but also millions of female fans who’ve now seen the texts online.”

He put out minimal effort to prove it was him, which was understandable considering she doubted it was him, and when she balked, he ejected quickly.

I guess he’s got a point here. It would have been even worse if Franco had stuck around and tried to pressure the fan to see him.

Remember gents, when your Game is tight and you have High Value, you can go Direct. Men of High Value don’t have time to be wasted. You may get rejected immediately, but you also won’t waste time with girls just seeking attention and validation.

You may, on the other hand, be exposed on the internet as a creepy predator. But I guess Men of High Value don’t care about that, which is why Franco didn’t go on Live With Kelly and Michael shortly after this broke to apologize for it all. Oh wait. He did.

Huh. That doesn’t sound High Value at all.

 

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Bina
10 years ago

The only thing sadder than the schmucks who write these fraudulent PUA books is the other schmucks who buy them. Perhaps the next volume in the series should be called “Welcome to the Pity Party in My Pants”!

katz
10 years ago

Aw, did I miss Christian? I wanted to ask if his name was really just supposed to be Christian Grey + Steve McQueen. (Or maybe Lightning McQueen?)

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

@Katz as long as it’s not a Space:Above & Beyond reference. PUAs do not get to slime over Colonel McQueen’s good name.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

LOL, PUA dude thinks he’s attractive and that David should be jealous. That would be like being jealous of a cockroach.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Nah, a cockroach is a Higher Value Male than PUA dude.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

As much as they disgust me I’m sure they have some sort of essential role within an ecosystem. PUAs not so much, they’re more like our societal version of cholera.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Yeah, we’ve had three cockroaches in the house over the last couple of weeks (that’s three more than usual, this place is pretty much cockroach-free) and I’d sooner deal with them than PUAs.

zippydoo
zippydoo
10 years ago

JK Rowling sells books. Stephen King sells books. George R.R. Martin sells books. I’m not sure what McQueen’s doing, but I have never heard of him outside of Manboobz, so I don’t think he means ‘selling books’ in any impressive way. I don’t think ‘High Value Male’ will be coming to a theatre near anyone anytime soon. I don’t think it would even make it as a TV miniseries on some obscure cable channel with 5 minute interludes of naked breasts. I think the salad shooter has more buyers.

‘Running tight game’ on a 17 year old fan is like moving a paper target to less than 5 feet away and using a bazooka. Hollywood is full of single young, pretty, talented well-paid actresses, writers, and models. Franco had to go for an easy target half his age. Hilariously, the ‘easy’ prey turned out to not be so easy.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
10 years ago

Oh look, Christian McQueen took time out of his busy fictional playboy lifestyle to troll us. Obsessively trawling Google for forum/blog mentions and leaving weak, defensive, thin-skinned comments clearly demonstrates High Value, and not total insecurity and an obviously fradulent marketing persona.

Don’t you have 28 strippers to swoop in your Men’s Wearhouse suit?

Wetherby
Wetherby
10 years ago

I see from his Amazon biog that he’s a “critically acclaimed author”. Which specific critics have been acclaiming him, and where can I read these eulogies? I’ve got access to the New Yorker‘s digital archive, if that helps.

And thanks to Amazon’s invaluable “Look Inside!” feature, I can bring you nuggets of wisdom from The Alpha Playboy: Every Man’s Guide to Kicking Ass in the Game of Life. The punctuation is exactly as it appears on the page:

Shoes:
• Obviously for shoes this is dependent on your shoe size and variables unique to each playboy. However one tip is to stick with, is minimal detailing on the shoe. Less is more.

Suit Fit:
• The arms of your suit must allow for 1/2″-1″ of your dress shirt cuff to show. This is important. Do not be that guy with a suit on who’s sleeves are too long. You are better off buying a three-hundred dollar suit and having it tailored perfectly, then buying an ill-fitted three-thousand dollar suit. The fit is that important.

Color:
• If you want to be daring and add color to your wardrobe, such as a red blazer, then make sure that the rest of your outfit is of neutral color so you don’t overdue it.

Professional copy-editors are so beta. They probably wear, like, glasses and shit.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

LOL, all Christian has to say is “you’re fat.” Some sparkling PUA repartee right there.

leatapp
leatapp
10 years ago

Poor widdle Christian can only reach the low hanging fruit. He can only respond to David’s hilarious post mocking Christians stupid as fuck site with, “Hurr, you’re fat”. Bless his shriveled black heart, that’s as witty as he gets.
He’s not a stylist, a writer, or any of the other things he plays at knowing something about. He’s just another bigot trying to pump up his deflated ego by being a petty jerk to others. The dude’s a skeev fleecing credulous dudebros with his shitty books and shittier blog. I guess we should be impressed that he made an effort at a rejoinder at all.

Nah.

Wetherby
Wetherby
10 years ago

Another random snippet of quality McQueen prose:

Denying the Dick

Gents, get ready for some Next Level Game. What I am about to break down may have you scratching your head in confusion for a minute, but I will explain in detail so you have a good understanding of this type of game.

When a playboy gets a girl addicted to his dick and the sexual experiences that he delivers, then she will want his manhood and none other. Women are not like men, in that we generally desire to not be monogamous. Some men are more inclined to be monogamous, but most do not. When a girl becomes emotionally attacked to a man, she usually will only want to be with him sexually and no other guys. There are the exceptions, but this is usually the case. As your conversion girl grows attached to you, there will be times, when it appropriate to not have sex with her. That is not a typo, this is called Denying the Dick. It is extremely powerful when done on a limited basis.

Let me break this down. Who holds the sexual ‘power’ between men and women? The women, correct? They are the gate-keepers to sex. This is a universal ‘truth’. In Deep Conversion, you will flip this notion on its head and you become the gate-keeper. Remember when I told you that it is important for her to orgasm and that in the Deep Conversion process her sexual pleasure is important? This is why: the incredible sexual pleasure that you give her causes her to become addicted to you sexually. By occasionally denying her of that pleasure, then you become the one in control.

Also, girls are NEVER used to guys turning them down, especially the extremely attractive girls. This is a complete mind trip for them. How is it possible for a beautiful girl to be turned down sexually by a man? Isn’t her sexuality her strength? Sexuality is her strength, but you will not be controlled by it. You are a playboy who has other options. Even though you are converting her, you may still have other girls in your harem and are still having one night stands with other girls who are not in your conversion program. Thus, she has no power over you sexually. You are sexually satisfied by OTHER girls as well, so you are not dependent on her.

Now the elephant in the room is why in the hell would you not want to have sex with her? It’s not that you do not desire sex with her, it’s that you are still getting sex from other girls, so it’s easy to turn her down. An example of turning her down would be like this:

Denying The Dick Example

She calls you and asks to come over and hang out with you. You both know what hanging out means: sex. You simply state that you’re busy with something (fill in the blank), or you’re tired and you’re going to call it a night early.

Simple right? Ironic that girls use this excuse all the time on men. Now let’s see what that did to her. First off, she won’t believe you and will believe that you have another girl coming over, or you are not as attracted to her as much. Perfect. She now knows that she has competition, which is great.

Women are naturally drawn to men that other women desire. There is a reason why this book is called the ALPHA Playboy and not the Beta Playboy. By learning to become an alpha male, you now know what it feels like to be the one in control of the relationship, instead of vying for her attention. Nice isn’t it?

Her mind is racing with all kinds of thoughts:

• “Does he still like me?”
• “Am I good enough for him?”
• “Maybe he found someone prettier?”
• “Did I really please him sexually last time we had sex?

A girl’s imagination will inflict more read on her than you can imagine and is more powerful than anything you can say verbally. Women look for clues constantly in communication and is why they are generally better communicators. They are picking up on not only verbal clues, but body language as well. This is perfect. She is now doubting herself and the strength of your relationship and will now increase her efforts to please you.

Dear Christ, just how ignorant and/or desperate do you have to be to fall for this semi-literate drivel? Has MacQueen ever so much as had a more-than-superficial conversation with an actual flesh-and-blood woman?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Women look for clues constantly in communication and is why they are generally better communicators.

Better communicators than Mr “and is why”, certainly. Also, nope, pretending to be in high demand will not make a woman desperate to win your approval, it will just make you seem like too much hassle to be worth bothering with.

Bina
10 years ago

“Denying the Dick”? Penises, “addictive”? HAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, dude, but the best-looking guy in the world (and the best-looking cock) is simply no match for a good vibrator. If she’s not getting it from you, she’s gonna go right back to ol’ Mr. Buzz. And she’s not even gonna miss you and your silly “Deep” twaddle.

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

The quality of McQueen’s writing demonstrates why he thinks James Franco’s texting was “solid” game. When you have verbal diarhhoa, even shitty texting looks good.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Franco may not be very eloquent but at least he was succinct.

Wetherby
Wetherby
10 years ago

It’s probably worth mentioning that this book is 114 pages long, and each page has a lot of white space. And the list price is $29.99, although Amazon is currently discounting it to $25.38, and you can even get it from a Marketplace seller for $22.49.

Don’t all rush.

FromAfar
10 years ago

@ Wetherby

Enough! Uncle! Someone fetch me my red pen!

I used to work at my college’s Writers’ Center and edited fanfics for people, and I’ve seen shitty first drafts of first year essays and slash fan fiction that would have had less red markups than this shit.

Content aside, large numbers of glaring errors make it seem like the writer doesn’t care, so the reader subconsciously thinks ‘neither do I’.

Then there’s the content…

https://www.google.com/search?q=bull+shit+meme&safe=off&espv=210&es_sm=93&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=ZLJCU5SlCa7nsASV54GwDg&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=1544&bih=935

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

So, Alpha Playboy (because capitalizing words automatically makes them important!) game consists of basic fashion tips you can find anywhere and switching from positive reinforcement to intermittent reinforcement? Of course, the latter only works if the PUA’s dick is considered to be a reward. For that to be the case, he’d have to be really good in bed. You can’t fake your way to good in bed with sad PUA tricks.

Bina
10 years ago

When a girl becomes emotionally attacked to a man

“Emotionally ATTACKED”? How the hell…WTF…?

On second thought, I don’t wanna know. That misspelling is the biggest Freudian slip I’ve ever seen.

A girl’s imagination will inflict more read on her than you can imagine and is more powerful than anything you can say verbally. Women look for clues constantly in communication and is why they are generally better communicators. They are picking up on not only verbal clues, but body language as well. This is perfect. She is now doubting herself and the strength of your relationship and will now increase her efforts to please you.

Orrrrrr she might realize what a skeevy manipulator you are, not to mention an STD grab bag, and decide that you are So Not Worth It, and simply block your calls instead of calling you. She’ll also contact her doctor to get tested for everything up to and including HIV. And she’ll call all her friends (and your imaginary Other Women too, if they exist) and let them know what a douchebag you are. Your prospects for a date with anything other than Rosie Palm will immediately look bleaker.

Alpha Playboy, my unalphabetized ASS.

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

I remember that when Andrew Holleran published “Dancer from the Dance”, he wouldn’t let his picture appear on the jacket as his mother was still alive. He didn’t want her to know what sort of books he was writing.

I wonder if “Christian McBride” has the same motivation for using a pseudonym and stock photo?