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Pickup guru Roosh V: “I’m a clown.”

Just like Pagliacci did, I try to keep my sadness hid
Just like Pagliacci did, I try to keep my sadness hid

 

Oh, dear. Our old friend Roosh – the rapey, racist expat pickup guru – seems to be having some sort of existential crisis. In a new post titled “Men Are Nothing More Than Clowns To The Modern Woman,” – yes, really – he laments the sad fact that women are no longer forced to rely on men.

There is definitely not a single woman alive in the Western world who needs a man. While in the past a woman had to put forth effort to obtain a husband who would help her survive, today she is protected by a welfare state that ensures she will never go hungry or spend one night on the street.

The HORROR!

Well, Roosh can rest easy, because, at least in the United States, his nightmare of women not going hungry or being forced to sleep on the streets is just that, a bad dream. Presumably he will be pleased to learn that lots of women (and children) go hungry. Lots of women (and children) are homeless.

Even a child she has out of wedlock from a drunken night out will not have to suffer from her mistake, and that’s in spite of the fact that many nations already provide her with free contraception to compensate for her lack of judgement in selecting worthy mates.

A tad ironic coming from a dude who constantly brags about “raw dogging” it – that is, having sex without a condom – with drunk women he’s just met.

Anything required for a woman’s survival or pleasure can be easily achieved without her having to put forth commitment, sacrifice, or labor. She can shave her head, gain 50 pounds, and disfigure herself with tattoos yet still have many suitors to—at the minimum—have sex on demand.

Such a terrible injustice, that women Roosh finds unattractive are actually able to have sex.

Her food and shelter will be provided by a state which has embarked on an extraordinary effort to compete with men for her devotion and loyalty.

Again, in the US, not really.

So instead of looking for women who say that they “need a man,” Roosh has begun to focus on women who say that they “want a man.” Unfortunately, when he’s asked women if they want a man, “[o]nly in a few instances did a woman outright say yes, and these usually happened in Ukraine.”

Huh. Not sure that’s a real scientific poll there kiddo, as I imagine that very few women are going to answer “yes” to that question when it’s asked of them by this guy:

Do you want a man? Do you?
Do you want a man? Do you?

Anyhoo, so all this has given poor old Roosh a sad. Because women who don’t need men, who actually have options in their lives, are less interested in jumping into traditional long-term relationships than those with few options in life other than hooking themselves to a male provider.

And so, Roosh has sadly concluded, the typical young women of today

will treat you as a distraction to her more important job, girls’ nights out, and social networking validation happy time. Men have become an utterly replaceable and expendable commodity in a girl’s life. Her interest in a man is not unlike her interest in a new television show or Apple product … .

Huh. Or perhaps this is because you’re dating women at least a decade younger than you, in their early 20s, and this is how people in their early 20s often approach dating?

When I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t see a man who has improved himself over the years to be the best that his genes allow—I see a glittery skirt that a girl encounters in the mall.

You see a what now?

Is the skirt too expensive or is it on sale? Is there only one left of her size or is the rack full of them? Does she already have something similar or is it totally novel? Does her friends think it’s cute or just alright? After trying it on, does it flatter her body or make her look fat?

Dude, this metaphor really isn’t working for you.

We are like glittery pieces of fashion to women—items that she truly doesn’t need. Not only has she already collected so many of them, but she can easily obtain more within walking distance from where she lives. She can even browse online from home while in her pajamas through a nearly unlimited selection.

Oh no! WOMEN HAVE CHOICES!

We are not men in the traditional sense—we are clowns.

Well, some men are.

With our tight game we have to be entertainers who create drama and excitement in a girl’s life, just long enough so that she spreads her legs and makes sexy noises, and even though she did commit such an intimate act with us, she will soon lose interest or simply get bored, and then move on to the next shiny cock that catches her eye.

Gosh, who would imagine that the women you have one-night-stands with after meeting them in a bar would treat you like a one-night-stand?

Also, if your penis is actually shiny, you might want to check with your doctor about that.

The other side of this coin is that we no longer need women. We don’t need them to maintain our home or cook good meals for us. We don’t need them in an age where having children is no longer important or valued.

That is true. Men are not incapable of cooking. I can even manage a grilled cheese sandwich once in a while. And, no, you’re not obligated to have kids. Heck, as a man you can get away with not having kids and not even have to take a lot of shit about it.

Whatever natural connection that once existed between the sexes has now been severed. Neither sex needs each other so we dedicate ourselves to corporations, entertainment, and base pleasures instead, and this is a great tragedy that most people believe is a sign of progress, a cause for celebration.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I think Roosh think’s he’s had some sort of profound insight here. All because the 22-year-old women he spends his life pursuing don’t seem interested in properly genuflecting to him as a real man.

For the next girl I meet, I’m not going to ask her if she needs a man, because I know she doesn’t. Instead I will simply ask her if she wants a man, and if the answer leans yes, I will perform like the good clown I am so that she is entertained enough to have sex with me. Either she or I will eventually get bored and the relationship will end. Then I will simply repeat my performance on a someone new, because I’m a skilled clown, and that’s exactly what women today want.

You do that, Roosh, honey. Just try to make sure she’s actually sober enough to consent to your “performance” first. I know you have a little trouble with that.

Here’s a little video for Roosh to watch the next time he’s feeling down.

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goodrumo
6 years ago

Reblogged this on iheariseeilearn.

goodrumo
6 years ago

Great work Manbbobz

goodrumo
6 years ago

*Manboobz* 🙂

tcwill00
tcwill00
6 years ago

i hear shiny cocks are easier to come by these days. look in the tall grass. i hear there s even an item to increase your chances.

sorry for typing like archie, my phone is being ornery.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

Men have become an utterly replaceable and expendable commodity in a girl’s life.

No, Roosh, not “men”…just YOU. A Hello Kitty vibrator makes a better conversationalist than you do. And that’s got your boxers all in a bunch, has it? DIDDUMS!

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

Also, does anyone hear the voice of John Wayne Gacy when they’re reading Roosh? Because I sure as hell do… >shudder<

Viscaria
Viscaria
6 years ago

Young women aren’t forced to fuck me for shelter. Alas, alack.

kittehserf
6 years ago

This could explain Roosh’s complete grooming fail. He can’t see himself in a mirror; he sees a glittery skirt. Not even a glittery vampire … a glittery skirt.

That photo of Roosh reminds me of this, but with negative levels of cute.

Roosh claiming to be a clown seems apt, given that clowns come across as creepy to so many people. Even the Guild of Fools and Joculators and College of Clowns of Ankh-Morpork would kick him to the kerb for being a repellent loser.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

It’s going to take me a few minutes to process this mess and think of something witty to say. For now, I leave you all with this

J.J
J.J
6 years ago

…okay, first off, I now can’t get the image of a man with a glittering, mirror-plated penis out of my head. DISCO PENIS.

And I refuse to believe that this guy can convince enough women to go out with him to keeping being a clown. Look at that guy, even college sophomore me would have taken one look at him and gone ‘Oh, crap, that guy is going to eat my liver.’

And it’s really frickin’ obvious that this guy has never actually met anyone who has to subsist on government funds. But only middle and upper class white women count to this guy, I’m guessing.

Or maybe he’s just never actually spoken to a woman who was sober enough to stand up on her own. Could be that.

And why would it be a good thing that women have to sleep with you for survival? It’s basically prostitution. She’s not having sex with you because you’re hot, or interesting, or even just so manly she couldn’t resist. It’s so she can avoid sleeping in a cardboard box. How is that validating in any way? ‘Ooh, look, she slept with me! I’m more appealing than sleeping on a heating grate!’ So is going to a Medicaid/welfare office, but that’s not an enjoyable experience either.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

And this

kittehserf
6 years ago

…okay, first off, I now can’t get the image of a man with a glittering, mirror-plated penis out of my head. DISCO PENIS.

… does it revolve?

tealily
tealily
6 years ago

Always a treat to listen to a hypocritical a-hole whine about a woman’s “mistakes” and “lack of judgement” like we get pregnant all by our little selves. Maybe if there weren’t so many creeps ditching woman they get pregnant, there wouldn’t be a need.

WTF is wrong with these men that they are so anxious for women to have no choice but to be with them?? Does it really feel good to know someone is with you only because they have to be? What kind of bottom-feeder thinks that is a good time? I can’t imagine how shitty I would feel about myself knowing my husband was only with me because he had no other options in life.

Also, what the hell is with the Charles Manson-look these weirdos like to project?

kittehserf
6 years ago

tealily – hypocritical is right, because the guys doing this complaining are the definition of a “bad choice of partner”.

I suspect their validation comes from making women unhappy. They don’t care if we aren’t choosing to be with them because we like them or fancy them. They’re getting to impose themselves on us and cause us distress. That’s what gives them their jollies.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Roosh and clowns give me the creeps, so maybe he’s right about being a clown.

Poor greasy baby can’t get the young women anymore. He’s 90% closer to being That Guy at the bar.

magnesium
magnesium
6 years ago

I know Roosh is perpetually unemployed, but he must still be familiar with the concept of people going to work at jobs to support themselves, no? Like he knows that’s what most women have to do. We don’t get to live off of some magical lady-welfare the way he does, selling ebooks to desperate misogynists. Does he understand what a job even is?

Binjabreel
Binjabreel
6 years ago

What a sad goddamned life. How pathetic do you have to be to have the idea that someone might actually want you for your company and the happiness you bring into their life be so utterly incomprehensible? Has this guy ever had an actual relationship? Shit, has he ever even had sex (I typed “had sad”, lol) with the same woman more than once?

Now suddenly all I can think of is Captain Hammer: “This is so nice/ I just might sleep with the same girl twice/ They say it’s better the second time,/ They say you get to do the weird stuff.”

contrapangloss
6 years ago

Roosh, methinks you are about 41 years behind the times…

Have a better whine about clowns.
http://youtu.be/K1fVQGESUTo

tealily
tealily
6 years ago

As completely messed up as it sounds, I believe you Kitteh. It would also explain the bizarre, wide-eyed glare we’ve been seeing lately. I guess they think scaring women into submission will work.

Good luck with that, boys.

opium4themasses
opium4themasses
6 years ago

Is Roosh trying to convince women not to sleep with him?

Having kids out of wedlock is a mistake, which means sex with him is a mistake. Not to mention how he complains about how bored they get after sex.

To bastardize, punintended, a line from the college student doing porn on the side, he points with one hand and unzips his fly with the other.

Herman Fethez
6 years ago

This IMHO is your best post ever. It totally sums up the predicament that the MRA types find themselves in. Now they have to face the reality that the MRA position must be to either adjust to the way the world works now or to admit that there indeed was a patriarchy and that they are in fact advocating a return to it.

Of course the patriarchy still exists, but things are moving, and will continue to move in the right direction.

Stripped Nuts
6 years ago

Great post. I didn’t think it possible that someone could be so lacking in self awareness. Roosh is complaining that women treat men like he treats women?

breadandrosesblogger
6 years ago

I got nothin’.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Nothing’s still more than Roosh has. He’s into the minuses. :/

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

It would also explain the bizarre, wide-eyed glare we’ve been seeing lately. I guess they think scaring women into submission will work.

OMG, that’s it! That creepy googly-eye we’ve been seeing on Paulie AND Roosh alike…it’s the Rasputin hypno-eye! Only neither one of them has Rasputin’s enormous endowment…or his apparent talent for using it on the ladies of Russian royalty.

Poor widdle fings.

shaihalood
shaihalood
6 years ago

A few days ago one of the regular whacko’s to furnish ROK, known as Lance Christopher and who is half black, but seems to worship strong white males and civilization erected through might said this.(It’s part of a larger statement which you can see at the link)

“If God ever created a better replacement for women, we’d exterminate them overnight.”

You know Roosh is a nutjob, but the guys commenting on that site are truly insane.

http://www.returnofkings.com/31843/women-do-not-understand-themselves

Stripped Nuts
6 years ago

One of rooshes commenters nails it better than i can, so i paste:

“If Roosh et all had hobbies outside of the manosphere they might find themselves in real communities with dynamic, multidimensional women who have interesting personalities whom you can have stimulating relationships with. If you only find and attract dull, shallow, uninteresting people, it could be because you yourself have dull, shallow, uninteresting priorities. Its a wonder the manosphere never talks about much else than banging or working out. The manosphere, besides being obsessive about male prowess to the point of homoeroticism, seems to attract people with the most average taste and basest intellect. Its no wonder you only end up around crappy chicks in lame social situations.”

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

Sorry, forgot this:

lightcastle
lightcastle
6 years ago

I’m with auggziliary here, it speaks volumes that this is considered a bad thing in his mind.
Even on their own terms, this means women more likely to just be DTF, so they should be all about this, right?

Hell, I’ll even say if it makes Roosh actually decide that “whether she wants to have sex with me” is the right criteria for judging a partner willing, that would be an overall benefit to everyone.

cloudiah
6 years ago

Wow, Stripped Nuts, he let that comment remain up?

Robert
Robert
6 years ago

That was unexpectedly painful. I almost found myself feeling sorry for the blood blister. Is it, at long last, possible that he’s realizing that the decisions he’s made have led him inexorably to this place of sterile despair, where he can do neither what he ought nor what he would?

kittehserf
6 years ago

OMG, that’s it! That creepy googly-eye we’ve been seeing on Paulie AND Roosh alike…it’s the Rasputin hypno-eye! Only neither one of them has Rasputin’s enormous endowment…or his apparent talent for using it on the ladies of Russian royalty.

Poor widdle fings.

And they’d never rate being played by Christopher Lee or Tom Baker.

Karalora
6 years ago

Roosh and his ilk lament women’s independence from men primarily for two reasons:

1. They are utterly terrible people who would rather coerce a woman into a relationship by holding the power of life and death over her, than enter into a relationship freely chosen by both parties. The rush of power is more enticing and enjoyable to them than real love or intimacy.

2. On some level, they realize that they are terrible people and that no woman would freely choose them.

augochlorella
6 years ago

i hear shiny cocks are easier to come by these days. look in the tall grass. i hear there s even an item to increase your chances.

I laughed so hard, I had a coughing fit.

scarlettpipstrelle
6 years ago

I’m creeped out by people who want us to be helpless before them. They get to pick and choose among us, and we have to put up with whatever they dish out or they’ll leave us and we’ll be unwanted discards. Or maybe they’ll just get tired and leave us anyway.

Wait, that’s how it was when I was a kid – VERY hard for a woman to live comfortably on her own. Divorce and abandonment were more common than people realize. Only one of my mother’s cousins succeeded on her own economically. There were separate help wanted columns for men and women (this was legal until some time in the 70s I think). Even women who were able to support themselves would constantly catch hell about it.

There really was a hit song, “Hey, Little Girl….”

I remember my mother in tears at a family picnic at what got said to her for being divorced. The men would drink a few beers and let fly with whatever they were normally too polite to say.

And now we have a world where the Rooshes don’t feel like they have to be polite at all. But at least we can earn a living in peace. Proverbs 15:17

DreamingRainne (@DreamingRainne)

Conversely, he himself doesn’t want a woman, he wants an accessory that makes him seem to stand taller in the eyes of his male friends. Guys like him will browse amongst women like they were toys to be bought and paid for, and then resent the price.

Basically, he thinks women think like him. And rather than using that as a basis for empathy (women and men aren’t as different as he needs them to be), he uses that as a basis for projection, resentment, and double standards.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
6 years ago

2. On some level, they realize that they are terrible people and that no woman would freely choose them.

2b. They’re suffering from severe “I wouldn’t want to belong to any club that would have me as a member” syndrome. It’s like how they want to have casual hookups but also shame women who agree to them: they know they’re terrible people and thus, any woman who would stoop so low as to be with them must not be a very good “catch”.

barrakuduh
6 years ago

I’m so thoroughly confused. Did he write this just to write it or something? It doesn’t even make sense that he would be upset about this, because he’s made it pretty clear that he’s not looking for anything remotely resembling a relationship, and that sex is a meaningless and no-strings-attached sort of affair for him. Does he really want it to come with obligations, like having to marry and provide for the woman for the rest of her life?

There is the whole “women having freedom” thing, and any misogynist will find a reason for that to mean the end of civilization as we know it. But still. It just doesn’t make any sense at all coming from HIM specifically.

Myoo
Myoo
6 years ago

Even a child she has out of wedlock from a drunken night out will not have to suffer from her mistake

Just how awful of a person do you have to be to wish for a child to suffer so that the mother has no choice but to get married to you? This guy really is the lowest of the low.

kittehserf
6 years ago

It’s the old double standards: it’s all right for him to want casual sex, but not for women to want the same thing.

I imagine it’s also about wanting to hurt women. Where’s the fun if he can’t have sex with a woman knowing that she didn’t want it, or will regret it because she’s been shamed, rendered worthless, liable to be cast off, afraid of homelessness if he chooses not to support her?

The only logic in it is that misogynists like Roosh resent the loss of any sort of power over women, resent the loss of ways to harm us, even when those losses mean more opportunities for sex, because of women’s greater independence. I suspect he resents the likelihood of women saying yes to sex at all (not that they’re going to be saying it to him, a whole other issue). It’s much more fun to be able to force or coerce a woman and then shame her for it.

Shiraz
Shiraz
6 years ago

I’ve met shiny skirts, sir…and you are NO shiny skirt.
You’re more like a greasy doo rag, at best.

2-D Man
2-D Man
6 years ago

When I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t see a man who has improved himself over the years to be the best that his genes allow—I see a glittery skirt that a girl encounters in the mall.

That explains why he doesn’t shave.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Much like the glittery dildo that he seems to be under the delusion that women see him as, sexual contact with Roosh will cause discomfort and possibly an infection, and is thus best avoided.

The glittery dildo would be much less depressing to have around, though.

rjjspesh
rjjspesh
6 years ago

GOD this guy is hypocritical. So it’s fine for him to sleep around but when women do it, it’s a sign of the collapse of society as we know it. ASSHOLE

Shiraz
Shiraz
6 years ago

Sure, at least the glittery dildo doesn’t speak, sulk and speak gibberish.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Also, if your goal is not to be mistaken for something that girls encounter at the mall, you should probably stop hanging around the mall food coat attempting to pick up teenagers.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Or court, even. Or maybe a glittery coat. Possibly his epic dumbassery is contagious.

quantumscale
quantumscale
6 years ago

He’s SO CLOSE to actually figuring it out here- “Women are starting to treat me the way I treat them, and maybe I don’t like it so much.” But in the end, he still won’t consider changing his behavior, even though he knows it will make him miserable to continue doing what he’s doing. I almost feel bad for the guy. Almost.

Cinzia La Strega
6 years ago

Oh. poo. I didn’t realize you were writing about this too. And we even chose the same song. Well, great minds think alike LOL.

Kim
Kim
6 years ago

The only logic in it is that misogynists like Roosh resent the loss of any sort of power over women

A man implying (or flat out lying) that he would marry a woman to get her into bed is a tried and true cad/PUA move. I can see why he’s upset to have such a useful manipulation technique weakened. Especially since it is most likely to work against “good girls” who are “unspoiled”.

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