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alpha males beta males men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny patronizing as heck PUA

Alpha Playboys always ask for directions to Starbucks

Alpha Playboy opening a two-set with the STarbucks Opener
Alpha Playboy opening a two-set with the Starbucks Opener

 

Ok, ladies. Go do some lady stuff, like vajazzling or banning bossy or having pillow fights or whatever it is you ladies like to do, because we have some MAN STUFF to talk about today. Oh, gay guys, you can leave too. We STRAIGHT MEN are going to be talking about how to develop MAD GAME with the ladies so we can become Master Pickup Artists.

I’d like to start by sharing some dope new information I found on the game blog of ALPHA PLAYBOY “Christian McQueen,” who despite the obviously fake name is an actual real game guru taken seriously by dudes who apparently spend considerable amounts of money on his ebooks and “coaching” and whatnot.

But sometimes, in little acts of mercy for the financially challenged, he shares some of his wisdom with the thirsty men of the world for free.

And that’s the case with his brilliant STARBUCKS OPENER which, again, I am not making up. It is an example of INDIRECT GAME, in that you don’t just walk up to a woman and ask her if she wants to have sex with you. It’s a DAY GAME opener, which you use in the DAY and not at a night club.

Anyway, this is what you do. (You might want to write this down.) You walk up to a sexy lady on the street and you say:

“Excuse me. Do you know where the closest Starbucks is?”

BAM! And you’re IN LIKE FLYNN!

Ok, ok, I can sense that some of you may not appreciate the genius of the STARBUCKS OPENER. Some of you even think it sounds a little dopey and not really very sexy at all. Did Casanova go around asking ladies for directions?

Well, let’s let Mr. McQueen explain why his idea is so freaking brilliant:

The Starbucks Opener is absolute GOLD because of a few reasons that I’ll break down right now:

EVERY girl in the world, well 99.9% of girls, LOVE Starbucks. The moment they hear the word ‘Starbucks’, they get happy.

I went and looked for some polling data to support this statement of his and discovered a Rassmussen poll from 2011 showing that 34% of American coffee drinkers have an unfavorable opinion of Starbucks; an earlier Rassmussen poll found that 73% of Americans think that Starbucks is overpriced and 76% say they rarely if ever visit the stores.

I guess they forgot to ask the cute girls what they thought, huh? Probably a bunch of BETAS.

There’s Starbucks all over the world. If you live in Japan and you’re reading this, you can use this line. If you live in Texas or Canada you can use this line. It’s a Global Friendly Line.

Well, pretty much. I mean, Starbucks is in 64 different countries out of 196 in the world, which means that technically speaking most of the countries in the world don’t actually have any Starbucks in them. There are no Starbucks at all in sub-Saharan Africa, or most countries in South America, or much of Eastern Europe or Central Asia. But frankly, most of the countries that don’t have Starbucks aren’t countries that ALPHA PLAYBOYS want to be hanging out in anyway. Just make sure to check to check this map before you try using this line!

‘Starbucks’ equals comfort drinks/food for most people who go there. When a girl hears the word ‘Starbucks’ come from your mouth, she subconsciously goes to that place of feeling happy, safe, comfortable and content. By it coming out of YOUR mouth, she will automatically associate you with those feelings, albeit to a lesser degree. ANYTHING that you can say that gives you an edge from your opening line is good, because it builds comfort in her.

Other “comfort” words and phrases you might want to try to work into your openers: “pillows,” “puppies,” “mashed potatoes,” and “some place far, far away from Chrisian McQueen.”

When you mention ‘Starbucks’, you’re mentioning a globally recognized BRAND. By being a fan of Starbucks and seeking it out, you’re a part of the ‘club’, the fan club of Starbucks that it.

Chicks LOVE BRANDS! Here’s Forbes’ list of the World’s Most Valuable Brands. See how many you can work into your conversations with the babes! It should be easy to incorporate such well-known names as Microsoft, Oracle, General Electric, Samsung, and Frito-Lay. Extra points if you can manage to mention Siemens without giggling.

When you ask a girl where one is, she’ll automatically put you in the ‘normal human being’ category, because ‘normal’ people drink coffee and usually from Starbucks. Any association with something that is popular and normal helps you build comfort.

Asking where the nearest STARBUCKS is, because you want to drink COFFEE, like a NORMAL PERSON, is good. Asking where the nearest GROCERY STORE DUMPSTER is, because you want to EAT FOOD FROM THE GARBAGE like some DAMN HIPPIE DUMPSTER DIVER is not so good. Unless the babe you’re hitting on is a damn hippie dumpster diver.

You can use STARBUCKS OPENER even if you already know where the nearest Starbucks is, because lying is ok if it helps you to get into a woman’s pants. Just don’t use it if you are literally standing in front of a Starbucks, as field-testing indicates that this approach tends to elicit responses like “right fucking here, you asshole,” and “what the hell is wrong with you?”

Now, Christian McQueen’s advice is good for beginners, but if you’d like to learn how to hit up the ladies Man Boobz style, I suggest that you send me $10,000 for my ebook, MAN BOOBZ GAME which I will start writing the moment someone sends me $10,000 for it.

In it you will learn about 100 different INDIRECT KITTY OPENERS from the basic “I have a kitty,” to more advanced versions like “I have two kitties” to others you’ll have to pay me $10,000 to learn and which I haven’t actually thought up yet, but trust me, they’ll be good.

You’ll learn about DIRECT MAN BOOBZ GAME, achieved by taking indirect openers and adding the phrase “in my pants” to the end of them. Thus “I have kitties” becomes “I have kitties – in my pants.”

You’ll learn the fine art of MAN BOOBZ NEGS and how to respond when the woman you’re talking to gets pissed off that you came up to her out of the blue and insulted her. Take this sample dialogue, using my brilliant “that looks infected” indirect opener which I just thought up thirty seconds ago have extensively field tested.

You: “That looks infected.”

Her: “What the fuck are you talking about? What looks infected?”

You: Um, your nose.”

Her: “My nose is fine, you fucking creep.”

You: “Well, I’ve JUST STARTED MEDICAL SCHOOL so I’m not too good at this diagnosis thing just yet. But in a few years, when I’m MAKING LOTS OF MONEY AS A DOCTOR I will be much better.”

Her: “I only just now noticed how charming and handsome you are.”

Just think, fellas, five or six pages more of this sort of wisdom can be yours for only $10,0000!

I really hope no ladies were reading this because I was really hoping to use the “that looks infected” opener the next time I actually leave my apartment.

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Falconer
7 years ago

Re: The semi-colon campaign. If it helps someone cope, I’m all for it.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Oh my god, I’ve got it: Just say “Hey! Listen!” until he goes away.

Perfect. They’re not interested in honest engagement, so forcing them to quit babbling and listen is the closest thing to a foolproof can of PUA-Away Spray that there could possibly be!

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

Elevatorgate + the time I attended an atheist meetup in my city and it was awkward with people who weren’t particularly friendly have scared me away from the skeptic community before I could even enter it.

It’s too bad. The only thing I feel I miss out on by not being involved with religion is the sense of community people get from going to their places of worship. I’m not interested in a “community” that’s as hostile to women as a fundamentalist evangelical church though.

Yutolia
Yutolia
7 years ago

HAHA! OK, I’m actually putting this under the right comments section now! Wuhu!!! 😀

99% of women love starbucks… hmmmmm. It seems to me like I’m always meeting men who love starbucks and women who can’t stand it for a variety of reasons (yes, that is anecdotal, I know, but my experience is worth something to me at least). I think their coffee tastes burned, and generally would prefer gas station coffee over it (but hey – I grew up with geologists and traveling and camping in areas with few services outside of the local gas station is a big part of that profession!) If they want to get me a real treat, they can watch me go to one of our tasty local coffee shops and get myself a cup of tea (BY MYSELF, hehehe!)

kittehserf
7 years ago

@cloudiah: People will continue to bang on about Elevatorgate until someone takes the Dear Muslima letter and throws it into the fires of Mt. YouTube.

And gives Dawkins and his fanboys a whack with a clue-by-four while they’re at it.

Sometimes the whole “sceptic movement” comes across like it’s just about dudebros who think laughing at “woo” and reinforcing the status quo = True Rational Scepticism.

::hurl::

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Sometimes the whole “sceptic movement” comes across like it’s just about dudebros who think laughing at “woo” and reinforcing the status quo = True Rational Scepticism.

And that’s why my goddess-worshippin’, pagan, witchcraftin’, herbal-medicine-using, occasionally homeopathic ass wants nothing to do with them. They seem to have me confused for one of those tinfoil hatters who believe that chemtrails and illuminati are real, and that vaccines don’t work. Uh-uh…I know what works and what doesn’t. Just because these guys have no talent for tarot reading doesn’t make me “woo”. Assholism can kiss mine.

kittehserf
7 years ago

::high fives Bina::

Preach it, sister!

(Of course the Illuminati don’t real. We know it’s the Furrinati we have to worry about, and the only chemtrails hitting me are the ones Fribbie leaves after she’s visited the kitty litter.)

JM
JM
7 years ago

First off, in various parts of Australia-particularly Australia asking for Starbucks will get you attention, but not necessarily the type you want:

PUA: “Excuse me, could you point me to the nearest starbucks?”
Woman: “Starbucks? Starbucks? How about I just point out a muddy puddle for you, and drink that? Save you money in the long run. Or, instead, I could take you to Tiamo 2, or Brunetti’s, something with an Italian name and make you stay there until you realise what coffee is meant to taste like!”

Seriously, in Melbourne Starbucks doesn’t have the “Aspiring artist” reputation it has overseas. It’s there for tourists, students, and international students.

Also, though, the PUA advise guide usually starts with one sentence, which the eager adherents follow devotedly, before they realise they don’t have a second sentence. This is how the adherents want it to work:

PUA: “Do you know where the nearest starbucks is?”
Woman: “Yes yes yes! I know hwere the nearest Starbucks is! Take me there and ravish me now!”

But in reality:
PUA: “Do you know where the nearest starbucks is?”
Woman: “Yes, it’s three blocks down, on your left”
PUA: “Okay……..”
Woman: “………..”
PUA: “……..I like your boobs”

I remember the little mouse game that I saw a lot of PUA doing online (“Hello little mouse, let’s play a little game. I’ll say something, and you say like or not like”) because a PUA said it was guaranteed to work….but then became super annoyed when most people reacted with “Why the hell you calling me a mouse for?”

hokesone
hokesone
7 years ago

@cloudiah dibs on being Pip. I have appropriately hobbitish feet and goofy ears.

kittehserf
7 years ago

JM – TRUTH! I don’t know how many Starbucks are even left in Melbourne. There’s one in Fed Square, and what godawful overpriced shite they serve. (I tried it once when I was in a hurry to get a tram; never again.)

Come to think of it, Starbucks is appropriate to PUA morons. They didn’t just try to push their way into a completely different non-USian market – they tried their luck in Lygon Street. I mean, Lygon Street, ferfuckssake! That’s just like the idiocy of PUAs trying to push their shit at women and getting laughed at, or just ignored, or outright scorned.

(Note for non-Melburnians: Lygon St is in Carlton, a suburb where most of our Italian immigrants lived in past decades. There are more Italian restaurants and cafes in that short strip than you can poke a stick at.)

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
7 years ago

Oh my lack of god I hate that smug version of skepticism. At its heart skepticism says ‘anyone can get things wrong so be careful what you believe’ and somehow these idiots manage to get from there to ‘I am a member of Clan Skeptic, I can never be wrong.’

kittehserf
7 years ago

Speaking of s(c)eptic dudebros and PUAs, I could have wished for a clairvoyant PUA* wannabe to be passing in the park this morning. I was being such a slutty mcslutster with Mr K and it would have exploded his tiny little brain.

* I know, I know, even if you believe in clairvoyance, it’s hard to imagine one of these losers having it.

tesformes
tesformes
7 years ago

@Bina

Hey, I hesitate to bring up a potentially touchy subject, Bina, but what exactly do you mean when you say that tarot cards and homeopathy “work?” I mean, there really isn’t any evidence for homeopathy beyond the placebo effect, and as far as I’ve read tarot cards are more about cold reading than actual divination, the skeptics aren’t wrong about that even if they can be jerks about expressing it. What do you use homeopathy and tarot cards for?

kittehserf
7 years ago

Sir Bodsworth – very timely: look at this new piece on Pharyngula. The entry PZ Myers quotes says it all.

http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2014/03/31/when-will-this-situation-improve/

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
7 years ago

@ Kittehserf – Ugh yes. The whole Radford/Stolznow just gets to me in particular, because I loved the podcast they were both on. In fact I even took the topic for my honours thesis from one of the episodes. I was so glad when the main host of the show backed Stolznow up and dropped Radford; I don’t think I could still listen to it otherwise.

kittehserf
7 years ago

It makes me glad I’m not involved in these communities (or any others where this sort of crap is always happening). Bad enough being disgusted and scornful from the outside, not knowing who any of these people are; much worse if it was someone you’d admired or respected who turns out to be a predator, or one of the misogynists who supports him. As for being a woman involved with groups like this … what a horrible thought.

Shaenon
7 years ago

I remember the little mouse game that I saw a lot of PUA doing online (“Hello little mouse, let’s play a little game. I’ll say something, and you say like or not like”) because a PUA said it was guaranteed to work….but then became super annoyed when most people reacted with “Why the hell you calling me a mouse for?”

Little…mouse? Oh, vomit.

PUA sample scripts always involve women overcome with giggly, wiggly joy at being treated like unusually slow preschoolers, which says so very much about a) what these guys are looking for in a sex partner and b) why they can’t find one.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Hey, I hesitate to bring up a potentially touchy subject, Bina, but what exactly do you mean when you say that tarot cards and homeopathy “work?” I mean, there really isn’t any evidence for homeopathy beyond the placebo effect, and as far as I’ve read tarot cards are more about cold reading than actual divination, the skeptics aren’t wrong about that even if they can be jerks about expressing it. What do you use homeopathy and tarot cards for?

So the skeptics all say…it’s a standard argument of theirs. Without even really having researched it, though, what do they KNOW? They said it, they believe it, that settles it. Quick, easy dismissal, with no serious inquiry involved, because actual, serious inquiry is “woo” and requires taking the subject seriously. How is this line of argumentation any better than religious fundamentalism? I am a skeptic of the “skeptics”…or skepDICKS, rather. They’re not really researching these fields, only claiming to debunk whatever doesn’t fit their tidy, mechanistic view of the Universe. Bah, humbug.

As for what homeopathy and Tarot are for, well…read the labels if you really want to know. Or read something about them that wasn’t written by a “hurr hurr, I debunkz teh woo” dick. I don’t have the time/energy for a lengthy explanation, unfortunately, or I’d go into more detail here. (And, truthfully, I’m in no mood for an argument, either.)

I’ve been doing this for more than a quarter of a century. If it didn’t actually work, I’d stop doing it. But apparently my personal, experiential research in the field is “woo”, so what would I know?

kittehserf
7 years ago

skepdicks

::has childish giggle fit::

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

I once sat down with heavy bags (not in my own country) to catch my breath and some guy from a nearby apartment calls out “what’s in your bags?

“What’s in your bags?”

“Industrial strength misandry and a can of Creep-Be-Gone, why do you ask?”

tesformes
tesformes
7 years ago

Sorry for bringing up a sore subject. The reason I asked why you personally used homeopathy and tarot cards is because I’m curious how you gauge whether or not the particular remedy or prediction has turned out as intended.

The research into homeopathy has been done and there is ample evidence that the massive dilutions used in homeopathic products are functionally identical to ordinary tap water. However, If it works for you, I’m happy you get relief from whatever is ailing you; I suppose life is too short to care whether your relief comes from a placebo or pharmacologically active ingredients. For most people, homeopathy doesn’t help at all, because water does not actually have a memory.

That being said, you certainly don’t deserve derision and scorn for believing in something like homeopathy, and the people who mock you aren’t really interested in trying to get you on their side. They’re trying to feel superior, which is the goal of a significant portion of the “skeptic” movement, to feel superior to silly people who don’t have the wonderful science educations they get from YouTube and Wikipedia. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I think homeopathy and tarot cards work, because I absolutely believe that they do not, but you’re not stupid for believing in them, I believe you are merely misguided. We’ve all got blind spots, me too.

Also, don’t be so down on materialism, the “materialistic” view of the universe is the only one we can really share as a species, and the only one we can derive knowledge from that applies to everyone. Every human lives in the solitude of their own cranium, and striving for objective, observable knowledge of things is the only way we can really confirm that we’re all in this same universe together. Your experience with homeopathy is your own, and I won’t tell you that 25 years of observations don’t apply to you. The stuff we learn using science, however, is far more profound than people give it credit for. It turns out that when some of the big questions get answered, the questions stop looking so big after a while, and we forget that we once didn’t know if arteries carried blood or air, or where lightning came from or why the sun rose in the morning. Being able to answer those questions in exquisite detail is pretty damn magical.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
7 years ago

I didn’t know about Starbucks being scum to their employees — although, given the size of the corporation, it’s pretty much a given. I’ve weaned myself off of needing cream in my coffee, so I’ll be able to avoid them in future travel.

@Bina: I’m with you about the anti-woo brigade. For people who almost fetishize science, they have a very unscientific attitude.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

The research into homeopathy has been done and there is ample evidence that the massive dilutions used in homeopathic products are functionally identical to ordinary tap water. However, If it works for you, I’m happy you get relief from whatever is ailing you; I suppose life is too short to care whether your relief comes from a placebo or pharmacologically active ingredients. For most people, homeopathy doesn’t help at all, because water does not actually have a memory.

That being said, you certainly don’t deserve derision and scorn for believing in something like homeopathy, and the people who mock you aren’t really interested in trying to get you on their side.

You realize that “derision and scorn” is, in a very polite way, exactly what your first paragraph reads as? I feel like the best way to approach subjects like this where we already know we’re not going to agree may be to just avoid them.

(I’d take a different approach if the thing we don’t agree on was potentially harmful to the person who believes in it, but homeopathy isn’t going to kill anyone.)

Tracy
7 years ago

@Bina – lol skepDICKS, and there are a lot of them. But without getting involved in this too deeply, I’ll just offer that I consider myself a skeptic, and I was a tarot reader for years (professionally for a few of those years, reading for paying clients). We aren’t all complete assholes, but the non-assy ones tend to be drowned out by the assy. 🙂

kittehserf
7 years ago

Yeah, what cassandra said. “Materialistic” has a whole lot of implications when referring to skepdicks; it’s not just the importance of physical discoveries, knowledge (sciency stuff in general!) it’s the obnoxious this-is-all-and-anyone-who-thinks-otherwise-is-a-fool attitude that goes with it. So, not cool.

But this is getting close to That Conversation (we should have a definition of That Conversation in the welcome package or the glossary) and since it drives quite a few manboobzers to tearing their hair out, I’m leaving it at that.

Tracy
7 years ago

@tesformes – your reply reads as condescending. I’m sure that wasn’t your intention but it read that way to me.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Yeah, I’m just not seeing the point of the “now let me tell you why your belief is wrong” part, especially in spaces where the goal isn’t to get up each other’s noses.

kittehserf
7 years ago

::nods::

tesformes
tesformes
7 years ago

I’m sorry, I spent a lot of time wording it because I knew that it might come across as unintentionally condescending. It was meant as respectful disagreement. We can drop the subject if you like.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Actually that just made me realize that the constant jockeying for position via condescending arguments about why someone is wrong and also a pathetic worthless person because they’re wrong is the thing that I dislike about a lot of “skeptic” spaces. It’s one thing to talk to trolls like that, but an atmosphere in which people talk to everyone like that just feels needlessly hostile and isn’t much fun to hang out in.

tesformes
tesformes
7 years ago

And I’m not trying to get up anybody’s nose. I was actually curious, because I figured that the way Bina was using homeopathy was probably in some different paradigm than the old “Have headache, take aspirin” routine I’m used to.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

The funny thing being that most of the time my personal beliefs are mostly in line with what the skeptics who’re being really snotty and condescending are arguing, but I still don’t enjoy watching them treat decent people that way.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

(I’m talking general now, not this specific conversation. Thinking of FTB, but there are tons of other spaces with a similar dynamic, and Feministe can get like that too.)

cloudiah
7 years ago

@tesformes, there’s a history here that you’re probably not privy to — but it means people will give comments like yours the side-eye. Anyway, I appreciate your willingness to drop the subject.

trans_commie
7 years ago

For the record, I actually take tarot card readings seriously. My brother did one for me before I left my home for katz’s place, and the confidence I got from the reading (which basically boiled down to “You’re making the right decision and spirits are watching over and protecting you”) actually helped me gain the courage to leave.

kittehserf
7 years ago

tesformes – no worries from me, at any rate. Isn’t it a pain when we try to get a comment right and it still goes all wrong? Been there, done that.

cassandra – argh, yes, FTB really has that atmosphere. Feministe, too, though at least they’re not harping on the True Atheists vs the World theme.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: katz

OT: What should I make for dinner that’s vegan and takes no more than an hour?

Too late, I know, but for future reference, one of my common recipes is couscous with veg! Edamame, tomatoes (especially sun-dried, yum!), and a leafy green thing, all cooked in a pot with basil and sage. Takes like fifteen minutes total, and it’s DELICIOUS.

RE: cloudiah

They are STILL rage-wanking over Rebecca Watson?

If this ends up being the next “women were saved on the Titanic,” I quit the Internet.

RE: tesformes

What do you use homeopathy and tarot cards for?

I don’t use either, but my younger sibling uses tarot cards because zie uses them just as a mirror to access things zie already knows on an unconscious level. Nothing magical about it; zie just uses them to sort out thoughts that might not be on a verbal level of awareness. Zie generally only uses them for zerself, though.

I’m curious how you gauge whether or not the particular remedy or prediction has turned out as intended.

My sibling also doesn’t use tarot to read the future. Zie uses them to understand the present. So there’s no prediction coming true, just zer trying to find answers within zerself to quandries like, “How do I deal with death?”

kittehserf
7 years ago

I can’t remember the results of the few tarot card readings I’ve ever had, but I’ve been to one medium who said stuff she couldn’t have got from cold readings. How the heck would a cold reading produce the names of stepson and spouse and a physical description of them and what they were doing, descriptions that included character – people I hadn’t been thinking about and was astonished to hear were on the scene?

tesformes
tesformes
7 years ago

@cloudiah
Note taken, thanks for the heads up. Bina, I apologize for being condescending.

New subject, sorta related to the article, did anybody in here ever actually try pickup lines like this? I was a VERY awkward high schooler, and my few aborted attempts at asking girls to dance at parties usually involved a stupid line that I rehearsed in my head beforehand for HOURS. Something like, “Hey, I love this song, wanna go dance with me?” Nice and simple, right? No. When the time came, I would rush through it and it would come out weird, and I would lose nerve and walk away as fast as I could. College mellowed me out a whole lot, and I met my wife soon after I learned not to psych myself out over approaching someone,

Anybody else go through a pickup lines phase?

trans_commie
7 years ago

I’ve always thought that the results I get from tarot readings are interesting. They often have the pattern of telling me that I’m too hard on myself and that (when I’m using an archangel deck) Archangel Michael apparently is watching over me. I don’t believe this stuff too literally, but I like having a tiny amount of spiritual stuff in my life. Sometimes I feel it actually helps me on a personal level somehow.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Nah, not me. Not that pickup lines were being used by women/girls when I was a teenager, I would think – the 70s – but I’d sooner have gouged my eyes out than dated any boy I ever saw in my school days.

kittehserf
7 years ago

They often have the pattern of telling me that I’m too hard on myself

They’re spot-on in that respect!

Tracy
7 years ago

@tesformes I empathize! I can come off as really condescending, and it’s usually when I’m trying really, really hard not to.

@LBT that’s basically what I decided tarot was good for too (and it can be really helpful for some people). The cards are kinda jumping off points for exploring your thoughts/feelings on a subject. I don’t use them anymore, but I enjoy the symbolism of them.

trans_commie
7 years ago

As for pickup lines, the very thought of approaching anyone – guy or girl – is absolutely dreadful and I have zero confidence in asking people out, so I have never dreamed of using them. If I ever dare to use a pickup line I’ll probably be kicking myself in the teeth right away.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
7 years ago

It’s a phase? I still, at nearly 50, rehearse immanent social interactions, and subsequently blow them.

cloudiah
7 years ago

I’ve never used pickup lines per se, but back when I was an awkward teenager psyching myself up to call a guy (that I knew liked me, because I’d of course had friends ask his friends because I WAS FOURTEEN) and ask him to a dance, I wrote up a long list of possible conversation topics in case we exhausted the “ask him to the dance” portion of the call and then there was just silence.

He was a great date, but I found out recently that he re-embraced his Catholic roots and he and his wife have 8 kids so I feel like I dodged a bullet.

cloudiah
7 years ago

It’s a phase? I still, at nearly 50, rehearse immanent social interactions, and subsequently blow them.

Glad to know I’m not the only one. LOL.

kittehserf
7 years ago

cloudiah – if we manage to do that brunch next month, we can just go SQUEEEEEEE when we meet and then giggle if we forget what to say afterwards. 😉

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: tesformes

Anybody else go through a pickup lines phase?

I think my husband used them in a sort of cornball way during his barslut phase. Thing was, he KNEW they were corny, everyone knew they were corny, and it was more to laugh at the corniness of it all. Also, my husband has a remarkable gift of making even the sappiest line sound earnest. (He got me to date him by confessing his love for me.)

I, on the other hand, tend to be as awkward as possible and say shit like, “I WANT TO FUCKING MARRY YOU ASSHOLE.” (Yeah, that’s how I proposed. But it worked! He said yes!)

RE: trans_commie

I’ve always thought that the results I get from tarot readings are interesting.

I generally don’t do the stuff myself, but I always find it amusing that my sibling, who is an incredibly sweet, gentle, kind person, apparently gets really acerbic, strict shit out of zer card draws, to the point that zie has to try and soften it up when telling it to other people.

Every time zie’s done a drawing for me, the cards apparently are always like, “Sir, are you aware that terrible things have happened to you? Because they’ve totally happened to you. Why are you not dead yet?” This does not make me any bigger a fan.

RE: Tracy

The cards are kinda jumping off points for exploring your thoughts/feelings on a subject.

Exactly, and my younger sibling is kinda in a growing stage where zie’s starting to come to terms with a lot of heavy stuff. (Due to how our system works, zer development was stunted for a long time, because that was the only way zie could be kept psychologically safe.) I think the cards give zer a voice for that.

Of course, zie’s also studying protection magic and planning to set up an altar for dead system members, so you know. Zie’s turning into a tiny priesty.

Tracy
7 years ago

@Ally

If I ever dare to use a pickup line I’ll probably be kicking myself in the teeth right away.

Really? Even “That looks infected”? Because that’s a good one. 🙂

“I have a kitty” would probably work on me, if I were single and was not already owned by 7 kitties.