Ok, ladies. Go do some lady stuff, like vajazzling or banning bossy or having pillow fights or whatever it is you ladies like to do, because we have some MAN STUFF to talk about today. Oh, gay guys, you can leave too. We STRAIGHT MEN are going to be talking about how to develop MAD GAME with the ladies so we can become Master Pickup Artists.
I’d like to start by sharing some dope new information I found on the game blog of ALPHA PLAYBOY “Christian McQueen,” who despite the obviously fake name is an actual real game guru taken seriously by dudes who apparently spend considerable amounts of money on his ebooks and “coaching” and whatnot.
But sometimes, in little acts of mercy for the financially challenged, he shares some of his wisdom with the thirsty men of the world for free.
And that’s the case with his brilliant STARBUCKS OPENER which, again, I am not making up. It is an example of INDIRECT GAME, in that you don’t just walk up to a woman and ask her if she wants to have sex with you. It’s a DAY GAME opener, which you use in the DAY and not at a night club.
Anyway, this is what you do. (You might want to write this down.) You walk up to a sexy lady on the street and you say:
“Excuse me. Do you know where the closest Starbucks is?”
BAM! And you’re IN LIKE FLYNN!
Ok, ok, I can sense that some of you may not appreciate the genius of the STARBUCKS OPENER. Some of you even think it sounds a little dopey and not really very sexy at all. Did Casanova go around asking ladies for directions?
Well, let’s let Mr. McQueen explain why his idea is so freaking brilliant:
The Starbucks Opener is absolute GOLD because of a few reasons that I’ll break down right now:
EVERY girl in the world, well 99.9% of girls, LOVE Starbucks. The moment they hear the word ‘Starbucks’, they get happy.
I went and looked for some polling data to support this statement of his and discovered a Rassmussen poll from 2011 showing that 34% of American coffee drinkers have an unfavorable opinion of Starbucks; an earlier Rassmussen poll found that 73% of Americans think that Starbucks is overpriced and 76% say they rarely if ever visit the stores.
I guess they forgot to ask the cute girls what they thought, huh? Probably a bunch of BETAS.
There’s Starbucks all over the world. If you live in Japan and you’re reading this, you can use this line. If you live in Texas or Canada you can use this line. It’s a Global Friendly Line.
Well, pretty much. I mean, Starbucks is in 64 different countries out of 196 in the world, which means that technically speaking most of the countries in the world don’t actually have any Starbucks in them. There are no Starbucks at all in sub-Saharan Africa, or most countries in South America, or much of Eastern Europe or Central Asia. But frankly, most of the countries that don’t have Starbucks aren’t countries that ALPHA PLAYBOYS want to be hanging out in anyway. Just make sure to check to check this map before you try using this line!
‘Starbucks’ equals comfort drinks/food for most people who go there. When a girl hears the word ‘Starbucks’ come from your mouth, she subconsciously goes to that place of feeling happy, safe, comfortable and content. By it coming out of YOUR mouth, she will automatically associate you with those feelings, albeit to a lesser degree. ANYTHING that you can say that gives you an edge from your opening line is good, because it builds comfort in her.
Other “comfort” words and phrases you might want to try to work into your openers: “pillows,” “puppies,” “mashed potatoes,” and “some place far, far away from Chrisian McQueen.”
When you mention ‘Starbucks’, you’re mentioning a globally recognized BRAND. By being a fan of Starbucks and seeking it out, you’re a part of the ‘club’, the fan club of Starbucks that it.
Chicks LOVE BRANDS! Here’s Forbes’ list of the World’s Most Valuable Brands. See how many you can work into your conversations with the babes! It should be easy to incorporate such well-known names as Microsoft, Oracle, General Electric, Samsung, and Frito-Lay. Extra points if you can manage to mention Siemens without giggling.
When you ask a girl where one is, she’ll automatically put you in the ‘normal human being’ category, because ‘normal’ people drink coffee and usually from Starbucks. Any association with something that is popular and normal helps you build comfort.
Asking where the nearest STARBUCKS is, because you want to drink COFFEE, like a NORMAL PERSON, is good. Asking where the nearest GROCERY STORE DUMPSTER is, because you want to EAT FOOD FROM THE GARBAGE like some DAMN HIPPIE DUMPSTER DIVER is not so good. Unless the babe you’re hitting on is a damn hippie dumpster diver.
You can use STARBUCKS OPENER even if you already know where the nearest Starbucks is, because lying is ok if it helps you to get into a woman’s pants. Just don’t use it if you are literally standing in front of a Starbucks, as field-testing indicates that this approach tends to elicit responses like “right fucking here, you asshole,” and “what the hell is wrong with you?”
Now, Christian McQueen’s advice is good for beginners, but if you’d like to learn how to hit up the ladies Man Boobz style, I suggest that you send me $10,000 for my ebook, MAN BOOBZ GAME which I will start writing the moment someone sends me $10,000 for it.
In it you will learn about 100 different INDIRECT KITTY OPENERS from the basic “I have a kitty,” to more advanced versions like “I have two kitties” to others you’ll have to pay me $10,000 to learn and which I haven’t actually thought up yet, but trust me, they’ll be good.
You’ll learn about DIRECT MAN BOOBZ GAME, achieved by taking indirect openers and adding the phrase “in my pants” to the end of them. Thus “I have kitties” becomes “I have kitties – in my pants.”
You’ll learn the fine art of MAN BOOBZ NEGS and how to respond when the woman you’re talking to gets pissed off that you came up to her out of the blue and insulted her. Take this sample dialogue, using my brilliant “that looks infected” indirect opener which I just thought up thirty seconds ago have extensively field tested.
You: “That looks infected.”
Her: “What the fuck are you talking about? What looks infected?”
You: Um, your nose.”
Her: “My nose is fine, you fucking creep.”
You: “Well, I’ve JUST STARTED MEDICAL SCHOOL so I’m not too good at this diagnosis thing just yet. But in a few years, when I’m MAKING LOTS OF MONEY AS A DOCTOR I will be much better.”
Her: “I only just now noticed how charming and handsome you are.”
Just think, fellas, five or six pages more of this sort of wisdom can be yours for only $10,0000!
I really hope no ladies were reading this because I was really hoping to use the “that looks infected” opener the next time I actually leave my apartment.
This can backfire if you’re like me and get adorable dogs who don’t like strangers.
Eddie Murphy does this in Boomerang as part of his arsehole playboy persona. Except he doesn’t even borrow a dog, just a lead and then pretends his dog has run off. It works and the woman comes to his apartment that night and she does ask right away where the dog is.He tells her the dog is at the groomers, and they don’t mention it again. He gets away with it because he only ever has one night stands.
Re the coffee convo: I don’t have sugar in my coffee so I really dislike iced coffee (espresso, lots of sugar, ice cream, cream), and sometimes it’s just too hot for hot coffee, so for a while I have been asking for “coffee with ice in it – just like a regular latte except with ice and cold milk – lots of ice – no, in a regular paper cup, not the plastic one – just like a regular latte but with ice”. Thank goodness it seems to have caught on and it’s got a name now – Iced Latte.
I’m going to Thailand soon though. Anyone familiar with the coffee over there? I am sure it will be too hot for drinking regular coffee.
Thai iced coffee is awesome, very similar to Viet iced coffee. It does come with condensed milk, but you can just ask for it without if you like.
(By which I mean it may be too sweet for you with the condensed milk.)
You know what’s really good, iced almond milk. I went to a restaurant in Chinatown and got it. It was summer and sooo goood. My mum drinks iced coffee like it’s water, which I couldn’t do. I drink between 2-4 cups a day plus a tea or two. That’s mild compared to what I used to drink.
@sparky,
I love Tarot decks too. I’ve got Cat People and the Klimt Tarot, and a few others too but those are my faves.
Very often it’s not even on the menus or chalkboards. (I expect it’s one feature of being in a real, honest to dog Italian area that the baristas know what a caffe freddo is in the first place.) I notice it’s not on Cibo’s menu http://www.ciboespresso.com.au/index.php/cibo/menu/category/cafe/ – they’re not in Victoria yet, but they might get there. They’ve got a Caffe Latte Freddo but not a straight Caffe Freddo with no milk.
@ Kim, when I lived in Thailand it was mainly American-style coffee and coffee-ish drinks everywhere. Lots of US chains in the cities, too – including Starbucks. Which is OK if that’s what you like. Me, I learnt coffee in Italy. (If you’re going to Chiang Mai I can recommend a great Italian restaurant!).
Smaller cafes and bars and guesthouses tend to either have instant (bleah!), or local drip coffees which can be very good. It’s often synthetic creamer or UHT milk though.
Vietnamese coffee bars are wonderful. You should be able to find some in Bangkok if you’re going to be there.
@Bina. Well, I always feel a bit of a hypocrite participating in doxxing given that I don’t like it when they do it to someone on our side, but I am also only human. It was PUAhate who doxxed him on their site, though thankfully they did edit their posts to take down his home address, realizing that they had initially gone too far. However since the PUAhate crowds aren’t exactly sterling chaps, it is possible they’ve got it wrong.
@weirwoodtreehugger. Nah, he works in recruitment apparently. Though that’s also shudder worthy as he gets to help decide who gets a job or not.
@kittehserf. Dear Roosh is always good for a laugh, David’s latest post being a fine example. Oh, and I hear you over the Pharyngula crowd, I almost started posting there, but got scared off by a really angry thread about abortion, more specifically the issue of how foetal remains should be disposed of. Since then I’ve stopped following.
@Trans_commie. I went to secondary school (the UK equivalent) and believe me my social skills are still horrendous. If anything the toxic environment of a whole lot of insecure teens thrown together with very little social guidance just made everything worse. You’re right to let go of old regrets and focus on the future.
@LBT
But… but… that’s exactly the definition of “magical” xD
I’ve been an amteur reader for a while now. I mostly use Tarot just like you describe it, and it most definitely works for me.
A way to explain to skeptics (not that it’s always worth explaining it to them) I found is that it’s always my own mind “making up” a story from the pictures/symbols in the cards. So, I’m actually using the cards so my mind can create the story that it’s “hiding” on an unconscious level, just like you said.
I also ocassionally do readings for others, mostly friends and family. I believe the bond between people works strongly in the process of the reading. I see it much lik “translating” the cards to the other person, so they can make their own actual interpretation.
As to “how” Tarot works, in the sense of “how can you tell the cards you get are the right ones”, I like to say “The randomness that arranges the cards follows the same rules as the randomness which fuels the whole universe” (my seve-year-old child loves that one).
BTW, it’s so very nice to see so many of you like/use the Tarot! Is there any Tarot community were you hang out, or shall we just share Tarot stories here in Manbooz?
Please ignoe typos and grammar, I’m in a hurry to leave for lunch and it was painful enough to re-read once published. LOL (I guess)
Vietnamese iced coffee is good. I don’t know why it’s different from any other iced coffees. It just is. I wish they’d have them in regular coffee shops. Luckily there’s a ton of Vietnamese restaurants in my city because of the high Hmong population.
Something about the drip method produces coffee that’s perfect for icing.
Cool! I started with the Aquarian Tarot, by David Palladini. I loved his artwork – very medieval/art deco – and it was the art that drew me in. I used the Thoth deck for a while, but then I became a Bard in the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids and found the art of Bill Worthington. THe first one of his decks that I bought was not a Tarot deck, but an Oracle deck – the Druid Animal deck. Then he came out the Druid Tree Oracle, the Druidcraft Tarot, and the Druid Plant Oracle.
I use the Oracle decks for meditation and the Tarot for reading for other folk. Just because I love collecting beautuful decks, I also have The Heart of Faerie, the Celtic Tree Deck, The Winds of Change (a very strange and lovely deck), The Faeries Oracle (both of the Faeries decks are by Brian Froud) and two lovely decks by Susan Seddon Boulet – Animal Spirits and Goddesses. Those are both oracle decks.
I have others, but those are the ones I just love using and just looking at.
Tarot makes me happy. 🙂
Actually, that is good advice. I think that, deep down, we usually know what we want and what the thing to do is. Sometimes, we just need a push. I always tell my clients that I can only tell them what they already know, but may not be aware of or listening to.
RE: trans_commie
people my age just seem alien in a way even though I don’t think less of them.
Fortunately, that will likely change. I’ve been the same way, until I started meeting other folks with trauma histories. I live with two folks now, one who is a couple years younger than me and the other I think is about five years older. Don’t worry, this is a thing that will change as other folks start catching up on their mileage!
RE: sparky
Some of the decks out there are really quite beautiful, too.
Man, I don’t even use tarot and I have to agree with that. Me and my sib are going to design one, once I finish a couple another big project.
RE: samantha
What deck(s) do you use?
My sib uses the Rider-Waite, and also has a couple other decks zie hasn’t tried out yet because they require reeeeeesearch. (Afro-American tarot, which has lots of historical figures and gods to learn about, and a Marseilles oracle deck.) Also we’ll be designing our own deck for zer in the future, using our own internal symbology.
I started with the Aquarian Tarot, by David Palladini.
My roommate has that! I remember it as the Pornstache Deck, myself.
RE: luzbelitx
But… but… that’s exactly the definition of “magical” xD
Well, shit. In that case, I’ve been doing magic for years and never realized it!
Is there any Tarot community were you hang out, or shall we just share Tarot stories here in Manbooz?
I don’t know of any. I don’t know that there’s ever been a tarot thread on MBZ before!
Oooh I’d love to see your designs for a Tarot deck, LBT!
Honestly, anyone who requires an elaborate and cunning ruse to appear to be human probably ISN’T one… I don’t know but I feel like these alphas might end up sprouting a few extra arms and tearing off the head of any woman who stops to talk to them.
The first thing I thought was “this is the whitest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Wait till you see the watering-down of the Racial Discrimination Act in Australia. 🙁
What? I have been less informed on this then perhaps I should have been. Kittehserf, have you any urls or info that you can share?
“Give Bigots a Go”
Like this. http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/attorneygeneral-george-brandis-people-do-have-a-right-to-be-bigots-20140324-35dj3.html (I don’t know whether the video will play where you are.)
The legislation is unpopular even with people from the same party as the idiot proposing it.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-03-27/racial-discrimination-act3a-nsw-premier-takes-aim-at-changes/5348934
Yeah, I’d love to see your designs for a tarot deck too LBT
(and as a side note, I loved the designs I saw after googling the various names Samantha mentioned. Pretty! )
That’s normal.
There are rules for playing poker with a Tarot deck. Never had anyone to play with, though (playing card games is very pattern intensive).
I lurk on FTB daily. Don’t comment, though. It’s like eavesdropping on intelligent, irascible people at the bar without being caught – I find out some remarkable things and some appalling things, much like here. But gosh, they get high tempered. It helps that I generally agree with most of the bloggers there, except for the whole theism issue.
I also lurk at FTB. I’m often tempted to comment, but you have to register, and that’s just a pain in the patoot, so they’ll have to live without my scintillating brain droppings.
RE: Kittehs and Fibinachi
Oooh I’d love to see your designs for a Tarot deck, LBT!
I’ve already got roughs for the majority of the Major Arcana. The Minor Arcana are probably going to have a lot of changes made to them, (for instance, we’re going to be completely changing the suits from Cups, Wands, Pentacles, and Swords to Circles, Spirals, Slashes, and [UNDECIDED]) so I’m still in the planning stages for those. It’s probably going to be a major let-down, though, since it’ll be an Infinity Smashed tarot, drawing intensely on our own system’s internal symbology and mythos and that story series. I worry it won’t really make any sense to anyone but us.
RE: Robert
There are rules for playing poker with a Tarot deck.
Ooooh, I’d like to know this! Share?