I thought this little exchange was so special it deserved to be shared.
![ILoveHate 18 points 21 hours ago (25|7) Why is it that I always see the hambeasts worried about rape and not the cute girls on the volleyball team? permalink save source report give gold save reply hide child comments [–]Bartab 21 points 17 hours ago (27|9) Because the cute ones turn guys down all the time and nothing happens. Fatties never turn them down, so they have this huge fantasy that if they did it would end in violence.](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/2guys2.png?ssl=1)
Thanks to AMRThrowaway for highlighting it in the first place.
EDIT: I updated the image. Now with more upvotes!
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We Hunted The MammothBucking the Backlash
My neighbour when I was 13 was raped and beaten in her own bed by a guy who broke in. She was 76 years old and died some months later.
That disabused me from the notion that ‘cuteness’ had anything to do with it.
@weirwoodtreehugger, that is a brilliant video.
@Samantha. I am so sorry that you had to endure such injustice. Do you mind me asking what part of the world you were living in when these things happened? Please don’t answer if you don’t want to, I’m not trying to find info on you, I’m just trying to make sense of such attitudes being allowed to prevail.
The MRAs have been posting that video as well, and have been stunned to learn that feminists also think it is a great video. (Because they don’t know anything about feminists.) So they are capable of understanding rape culture — when it affects men. They just don’t understand it (or pretend not to understand it) when it affects women, because evidently they can’t see women as fully human, or are so sexually resentful they think women deserve it.
Samantha, so sorry you had to deal with all that shit. And are having to deal with that shit with the pagan abuser now. Ugh. Poor kids.
@samantha
I’m not pagan now but I was briefly involved with paganism for a few years in the early 90’s. I bet if I think real hard, I can figure out who you’re talking about.
Also from that same time period, I went to a couple of Pagan Fests and I remember one of the vendors was a photographer and photo manipulator, like in the days before Photoshop. All of his photographs were the same – naked, underaged girls (as in pre-puberty) as fairies or sprites. There was one in particular I remember; the girl was sitting on a rock and you could clearly see her labia. I tried speaking with one of the organizers about it but I was told I was being priggish and that his photographs were beautiful and “innocent” and to quit spreading negative energy. The whole thing was very disturbing.
Ugh. This is seriously exactly high school mentality. Like this is the kind of thing you’d hear a highschool boy say “you’re to ugly/fat to get raped.” And sadly, a lot of adult men (and some adult women) carry this idea still, and will for the rest of their life. They seem to completely ignore that the people they think are fat and ugly can be and often have been raped, that elderly people get raped, and that children get raped. God, I was molested when I was FIVE. Please, explain how a 5 year old is sexually attractive?? Hell, recently two guys started going to the alternative high school I went to, and they are BOTH registered sex offenders. Their crime? Child molestation. One molested their INFANT sister a few years ago. Ugh. UGH. But it’s about sexual attractiveness, right?
What also gets me is that they think women who are “attractive” by their standards don’t worry about rape. I’ve never met a woman who didn’t worry about it at least to some degree.
I just do not understand how they can be so fucking sympathetic towards male victims (well, in their own, twisted way) but immediately ignore and invalidate all female victims, saying that they are lying or they somehow deserved it.
Not can’t. Won’t. Or at least, can’t in the sense of “it would destroy their contemptible worldview and oh so fragile egos if they acknowledged women are human”.
Yes, me too. In fact, I’ve been shedding a lot of excess fat over the last couple of years, and as I change from a fat, frumpy, middle-aged, ignorable creature to a pretty-ish older woman, I’m re-visiting my fear of social interactions. It’s sucking quite a bit.
It’s ALWAYS THIS. Poor, poor, tortured, misunderstood victim of his own weaknesses. How can we be so cruel to him by pointing out that his VICTIMS are the ones who need our help and compassion?
RE: Quackers
Don’t you also love how they continuously downplay and minimize rape of women, yet rape of men is absolutely horrid?
Unless it’s in prison, or the man getting raped isn’t masculine enough, in which case is HILARIOUS. Seriously, these guys don’t care about the rape of men except as a beating stick for feminism. Some of the older Boobzers here might recall my interactions with MRAs here on this point…
RE: samantha
Seems he has also been abusing children at Pagan gatherings for the last 30 years.
Heard about that. Wish I could be surprised, but at this point, I actually tend to distrust people in positions of authority as a matter of principle. They’re the ones people are willing to let get away with shit.
RE: Bina
Of course, the idea that weight problems and eating disorders are often rooted in early sexual abuse is another one that hasn’t occurred to these (pocket) rocket scientists.
*sighs, rubs forehead* Actually, it has. There’s a common meme that folks with restriction eating disorders just don’t want to grow up and deal with being sexually mature, in hopes that’ll make caregivers nicer to them. (To which I say HAHAHAHA, because. Well. My parents’ only reaction when I started getting gaunt was, “Honey, you’ve turned yellow.”)
HAMBEASTS?!?
It’s self-hatred. She married a man who she considered her intellectual inferior, who then divorced her. Since then she’s made a career out of trying to scare young college-aged women into abandoning their careers and focusing on Landing A Man while they’re still fresh and marketable, so they won’t end up being her. Or something. I think she was recently discovered frozen in a glacier at Wellesley, thawed out, and given a guest column at the Wall Street Journal.
“Sometimes I think that this species is just too stupid to live. Sigh. That is just me being frustrated and angry.”
This is me every frigging day. I hate it. I don’t want to get mad at people, but when these guys start talking shit I can’t take it.
I really want to believe that that the human race is good. I really do.
But then there’s this bullshit. And I remember what people are capable of, are capable of feeling. And I read the comments here, and realize that to guys like this, none of this pain and suffering is valid. Why can’t they acknowledge the humanity of other people? Is their self esteem so terrible that they have to think of others this way?
I mean, until about a year ago I had the self esteem of an earth worm. But I never thought about other people this way.
That video was amazing. I wish more men could speak out, but the way men who are sexually assaulted in this culture are treated I can see why they don’t.
And I think the problem with the idea of rape as having to do with sexual attraction, as people have been discussing, is that people don’t realize that rape isn’t about sex.
Rape is about violence, about power and control. It just uses sex as the means to an end. That’s why guys like this blow it off. They have to feel power over women somehow, and if they pretend that their victim had it coming, they can hide behind it and keep doing it.
That’s why it doesn’t matter what the victim looks like, and we have to stop presenting it that way, in media, for example. I wish there was some way for them to see. I’m grateful every day for the men who don’t think this way, and who speak out against this sort of thing.
Sorry this is long, I just felt really strongly about this, especially after a lot of you guys have shared your own experiences.
Every day on another website I’m innundated by blog posts by young, attractive, often sporty women who are terrified of leaving their houses/apartments/dorms because of the chronic, constant street harassment and actual physical assaults they have experienced. Yet they keep going out there, and going about their business, for the most part, and so without magical psychic powers how would anyone, much less a dumb as shit MRA, know if they were concerned about rape or harassment or not?
And I have to take issue with the notion that rape isn’t about sex. It totally is. It just happens to be about other things too. But it’s about sex for the victim, who is sexually assaulted certainly, AND for the rapist, who gets turned on by rape, which is a sexually related act. Yes, rape is about power, and violence, and opportunity, and entitlement, and whatever else it can be about. It’s about sickness too, in the case of pedophiles, or those who chronically victimize the elderly in a sexual way. But it is absolutely about sex. Denying the sexuality of rape is one of the reasons no one can ever have an honest conversation about not just the subject itself, but about what it feels like for the victim/survivor, and even for the perpetrator. I always feel really icky about people who try to make me feel better or to hijack the experience intellectually by saying “rape isn’t about sex tho.” Seriously? I’ll be the judge of that, and yeah, it is, especially when it impacts your ability, maybe permanently, to develope intimacy with anyone else sexually ever again.
If rape isn’t about sex for YOU, that’s fine, no problem. In fact, lucky you. But a sweeping statement about rape not being about sex is not helpful. That’s been repeated ad nauseum by feminists in an attempt to displace blame from women who might be seen as sexually impure or something, I feel, and it’s just not true, and also it doesn’t work, because society and our legal system still treats women like the ones at fault no matter how much about sex rape supposedly isn’t.
Just venting that out, I’m not irritated by anyone here saying that, I’m just putting my opinion out there.
Good question! I would guess that they would say the old women were lying? Or senile?
Makes no sense to me.
One of the ways I keep my optimism (despite everything) is remembering all the good people. It’s very easy to get inundated with assholes on the Internet, but the thing is, there’s also all the friends who kept me afloat during the Bad Years. Who opened the hearts, their homes, and even their wallets to me. During the Big Crash of 2012, I had no less than half a dozen people taking care of me during different times, making sure that I wouldn’t commit suicide, that I would eat, that I would be safe, knowing that I was in coincidence to return the favor.
I remember my husband, who stood by me through all the agony, even though due to the vagaries of our relationship, he felt every moment of it himself. I remember my lawyer and the various shrinks, paper-pushers, and strangers who did everything in their limited power to get me into a good place again.
That is humanity. Sure, humanity includes these chucklefucks… but humanity includes all the wonderful people too, and in the end, THEY’VE had more of an impact on my life than them. THEY are the ones I will remember when I’m ready to leave this world, not those who hurt me. THEY are the people I want to emulate. THEY are the people I can be.
Wow, Lili Fugit, thank you for articulating that. I’ve long had some uncomfortable feelings about the “rape isn’t about sex” trope but couldn’t really explain why (even to myself). I think you nailed it.
Lili Fugit:
I wasn’t trying to make a sweeping statement. Maybe I used the wrong language, and if I offended you, I’m sorry. In some ways. I agree with you.
I’ve always tried to look at it that way because it was easier to process, and I wanted to enjoy sex again without see any sexual contact as a potential attack. Maybe I just wanted to trick myself into thinking sex doesn’t her me. Maybe I don’t want rape to be about sex because it’s less scary that way. I didn’t want to devalue your experience. Again, I’m sorry, and I really tried to make this response more rational so my emotions at your comment wouldn’t cloud what I was trying to say/apologize.
I wonder if these guys seriously believe that calling some women “hambeasts” is going to make them want to lose weight. Especially if the “reward” for doing so is to have these guys salivating over one. Honestly, the man who thinks I’m a “hambeast” now for weighing more than 130 pounds, max, is the one I never want to look “good” for.
Warning: my comment is all about the rape. Feel free to skip.
RE: Lili Fugit
For me, I think the “rape isn’t about sex” thing was more to try and take the conversational focus off “he only does it because he’s attracted to you!” and turn it towards, “he does it because he wants to have power over you.”
Like, yes, my rapist definitely wanted to fuck me. But that wasn’t the problem; it was that he felt that making me cry and curl up into a fetal position was a totally worthwhile expense for that sexual behavior. It was the power and entitlement that was the problem, not the sex.
I’m also coming at it from a slightly different angle, since I’m a gay man, and sad to say, a lot of male-on-male rape comes from men who perceive themselves straight. For them, it’s not about sexual arousal at all. It’s about gay-bashing. It’s about pain and fear. They don’t want to have sex with us; they want to HURT us.
Er, Lili, this isn’t to mean that your experience obviously has to collate with mine. We’re different people, with different experiences.
I wonder if part of the “rape isn’t about sex” view is trying to break away from the rape-apologists’ and rape-advocates’ framing of it as just what poor men* are driven to do because boners, or saying women are “demonising male sexuality” in protesting against rape? Rape advocates like MRAs looooove to talk as if sex and rape are the same thing, and that sex is really only about a man getting off, and that women have neither the right to make choices about it and enjoy it, nor the right to complain even though it is being used as punishment.
It’s what Samantha said above: the terrorist mindset.
*men, because for all their claims of female on male rape being as common, I don’t think MRAs really believe it exists.
Or, what LBT said more eloquently.
LBT, kittehserf, you guys totally said what I wanted to say. I think I got upset and then I forget how to be articulate. Thanks for that.
It’s okay, J.J. I, unfortunately, have spent a lot of time thinking this over, since my family was pretty much a multi-generational clusterfuck of rape. This is one of those horrors of life that I desperately want to understand, so I can help break it.