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Down the Drain

I hate doing dishes too.
I hate doing dishes too.

I am still sick as a dog –more specifically, as a sick dog — so I thought I’d share the misery with you all by sharing this, what is possibly the most depressing ad for paper cups ever devised. Who knew that the solution to “the problem that has no name” was Dixie cups?

Mr. Show offered an updated take on this ad technique with their classic Mayostard/Mustardayonnaise ad parodies:

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hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

It fills the goddamn gap.

leftwingfox
6 years ago

Auggziliary: That’s hilarious! I took a peek at the source code and couldn’t figure out what was causing it.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Speaking of being free to move your labor to a better location, I guess airfare is also free, as are moving vans and deposit on a new place.

trans_commie
6 years ago

I’m actually pretty worried about the gap in my resume. I haven’t worked in over a year, and it’s purely because of terrible coworkers, family conflicts, mental illness, and an inability to quickly learn all of the languages and software I need for a lucrative job (which is also tied to my mental problems). I have no idea what I can say on my resume, and if I’m completely frank, I’m afraid people are going to see me as a burden more than anything else. Then again, I have no experience with writing resumes, so maybe I’m worrying about nothing.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Oh my. If anyone is bored and cares to laugh at a troll there’s another Jez troll named triggerarnin who is claiming we have white men to thank for women’s rights and that because everyone knows who Queen Elizabeth I is, there can’t be any sexism in the way schools teach history.
http://jezebel.com/new-educational-standards-teach-kids-that-history-conta-1550345470/all
Or is it just me that is in the mood for a hate read today?

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

In my family, we use the red Solo plastic cups.

Then we wash them, and re-use them, because it’s cheaper that way. But, hey! If you break a red plastic cup, it’s a lot less messy than shattered glass, and cheaper and easier to replace, too. We always have a matched set.

I love the mustardayonnaise commercials.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

I just can’t help thinking of mayo as Satan’s spooge. Sorry, mayo lovers, the texture just bothers me.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

That’s OK, we all have our texture issues. Mayo I like, Miracle Whip is disgusting.

trans_commie
6 years ago

I can’t stand mayo, either – unless it’s a very light amount.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

I’m kind of anti-condiments when it comes to sandwiches in general actually. Pesto I will accept, or hummus in a pita that’s filled with stuff, but other than that, nope.

Robert
Robert
6 years ago

Regarding badminded perceptions of Asian women, the tumblr Creepy White Guys displays a variety of horrible messages sent by white guys trying to ‘get’ Asian partners. Apparently, denigrating Asian men is a popular theme.

Viscaria
Viscaria
6 years ago

Discriminating hires on the basis gaps on their resumés is so screwed up. “Hmm… I see you haven’t had an income in quite a while. In that case, I’m going to make sure you continue not earning an income.”

katz
6 years ago

Ally, you are in a tough space right now, but I think you will be OK in the long term since you’re planning on doing more schooling. Recently out of school is recently out of school and I don’t think it matters that much what you were doing beforehand. (Not that getting a job as a recent graduate is easy!)

dlouwe
dlouwe
6 years ago

For anyone curious about the weirdness on that sewing page, it’s caused by super broken tag nesting leading to recursive em font size calculation. Basically each line is contained inside the previous line, and tells the browser “my font is 17% bigger than whatever I’m inside”.

Viscaria
Viscaria
6 years ago

So… not a coded warning about the upcoming needleworkpocalypse, then. Well that’s good news.

FromAfar
6 years ago

I used to like mayo okay until…

mayo as Satan’s spooge

dlouwe
dlouwe
6 years ago

@Viscaria:
Thankfully, no. But I have learned a new trick for if a client ever asks for a mundane website that becomes gradually more intense and alarming.

Sam-I-Was?
Sam-I-Was?
6 years ago

Mayo I like, Miracle Whip is disgusting.

Preach it! That stuff is nasty no matter how many times they say it’s just “zesty”

Kim
Kim
6 years ago

I just can’t help thinking of mayo as Satan’s spooge. Sorry, mayo lovers, the texture just bothers me.

I wanted to post a video that I know you would love to see then, but it’s not on youtube. 🙁

But there is this tv show (double the fist – a very strange Australian show) that had a mayonnaise eating challenge. They’d give a person $50 if they could eat a large jar. No one ever got the money.

kittehserf
6 years ago

So… not a coded warning about the upcoming needleworkpocalypse, then. Well that’s good news.

That’s a relief, especially if it turned into the knitpocalypse too.

kittehserf
6 years ago

They’d give a person $50 if they could eat a large jar. No one ever got the money.

Fifty bucks? That’s a pathetic prize!

Kim
Kim
6 years ago

Ally, I have gaps in my resume too. I found this article here which was helpful.

http://money.howstuffworks.com/business/getting-a-job/10-things-to-leave-off-your-resume.htm

Basically, you just highlight what you did and know, and visually minimise the dates – smaller font, lighter grey etc. I was surprised by how much resume design has changed since I last designed one. When I was your age they were 3 pages and very boring. Now they’re all 1 page and can be quite visually interesting.Because you’re forced to cull, it actually gives you a lot of control over exactly what you include.

Kim
Kim
6 years ago

Fifty bucks? That’s a pathetic prize!

Have you ever seen the show? That was probably half their episode budget 🙂

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

Scram, time’s wingèd chariot! I’ve got Dixie cups!

I’m quite fond of mayonnaise. It’s the things it envelops that I don’t really care for (tuna, crabmeat, lobster).

kittehserf
6 years ago

Have you ever seen the show? That was probably half their episode budget 🙂

Oh dear!

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
6 years ago

I don’t like mayo, because the texture reminds me of GROSSNESS WARNING AVERT YOUR EYES: pus. However, I love, love, love custard, which is even more like it. I don’t get it either.

(I’ve actually reported one particular company to one of the job boards multiple times for breaking this rule via creatively worded job postings.)

I was looking at a job posting board the other day, and one company had two positions posted: one for a Journeyman [Trade] for $44 per hour, and another for Unticketed Journeyman [Trade] for $33 per hour.

It’s actually illegal to work as an unticketed (aka unlicensed, unregistered) tradesperson here. Somebody’s going to get spanked for that, and unfortunately, it’ll almost certainly be the lowest-paid schmoe in that chain of command, who was just doing what they were told.

LBT
LBT
6 years ago

RE: trans commie

I can’t imagine why anyone would want to get those bacon ice cream shakes from Denny’s.

The very thought makes me feel ill. (Sweets are hard. Bacon is hard. Ergo, putting the two together is DEATH.)

RE: wordsp1nner

I was always more of a sausage person myself.

OHOHO! *rimshot*

RE: titianblue’s quoting of the asshole

I’m training to be a barrister, you’re ignoring me for a barista.

Aw, poor baby hates the thought that the “lesser” people might be more attractive.

RE: AK

porn is a Jewish plot to destroy Christianity

…wooooooow. That’s ALMOST as doofy as the “sodomy killed the dinosaurs” bullshit I read yesterday! And the “buttsex killed the Romans” I read before that…

RE: katz

Last night I was just reading advice for the long-term unemployed that they should find unpaid work in their field to keep from having gaps in their resume.

Not gonna lie, part of why I do art and writing so incessantly was because I was terribly frightened of the idea of having gaps in my resume due to being disabled. It’s like, I have enough barriers between me and the normal workforce, MUST NOT ADD MORE.

Also, hey, might be different for chemists, but folks are also trying to hire someone they can actually work with without murdering them. I would see someone who takes care of animals and volunteers as a plus! (Note that I’ve mostly worked shitty customer service jobs, though.)

Alex
Alex
6 years ago

So you don’t like misogyny, that’s cool. What is your opinion on gay men? Just wondering.

maggiesausage
maggiesausage
6 years ago

Even grosser than mayonnaise is the wonderful Kiwi invention, sweetened condensed milk salad dressing. I used to get so offended at my mother making it because it was a waste of delicious condensed milk.

I like aioli, though, probably because garlic makes nearly everything better.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
6 years ago

Most customer service jobs are shitty. It’s because you’re providing service to customers, and they’re all assholes. Not all at the same time, but sooner or later, if you’re a customer, you’re going to be an asshole to the person trying to help you. We all do it. I feel shame afterward, but I can’t seem to stop myself in the moment.

kittehserf
6 years ago

porn is a Jewish plot to destroy Christianity

…wooooooow. That’s ALMOST as doofy as the “sodomy killed the dinosaurs” bullshit I read yesterday! And the “buttsex killed the Romans” I read before that…

I knew it! I knew it! The dreaded word g0ys really does mean what it looks like!

I’m training to be a barrister, you’re ignoring me for a barista.

Aw, poor baby hates the thought that the “lesser” people might be more attractive.

Not even that, as I read it – she was trying to buy a coffee in his coolstorybro tale.

Note to dud(e)s: we aren’t out in public pretending to do stuff while we wait for you to decide we’re good boner material. We have actual lives, something you apparently don’t.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Nested blockquote win! Take that, blockquote monster!

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

I feel shame afterward, but I can’t seem to stop myself in the moment.

Preach. I really try not to be an ass to a customer service person, and they have to be pretty egregious for me to get pissy, but it’s happened. I know it’s a person who’s not properly trained and doesn’t get paid enough to really care.

I even see the lack of training where I work, and there’s nothing better than someone yelling at me because our customer service blows goats. I can listen to them and apologize, but that’s about it. It drives me nuts that companies don’t put more into training.

katz
6 years ago

I don’t speak for anyone else, but my mental image of a barista is a lot cuter than my mental image of a barrister.

kittehserf
6 years ago

I don’t speak for anyone else, but my mental image of a barista is a lot cuter than my mental image of a barrister.

Definitely.

emilygoddess
6 years ago

He went from zero to c*nt in six seconds, didn’t he?

Wait, why are you using the “c” word?

I try not to debate on [Tumblr] because of how dumb they can be.

This is good advice. The last time I tried to debate a Tumblr MRA, she kept insisting that there was no misogyny on AVfM, and all the direct quotes from Paul Elam I showed her were somehow actually said by feminists. That’s when I decided we were obviously inhabiting such different realities that further conversation was pointless.

Of course, you occasionally meet them IRL, too. I once had a clinic protester tell me that the pregnancy rate was higher for women on birth control because they’re having more sex. Definitely not a member of the reality-based community.

What is your opinion on gay men? Just wondering.

Lurk Moar. (/oldmeme)

emilygoddess
6 years ago

I don’t speak for anyone else, but my mental image of a barista is a lot cuter than my mental image of a barrister.

And less likely to be an entitled ass.

I can’t tell if Alex is trolling… aren’t most feminists/liberals cool with gay men?

I mean, he might be a gay man who’s wondering if he’s welcome in this space, which is fair given that there are feminist blogs that prefer to be women (or non-men) only. But if he’s taken the two seconds required to read the sidebar, he must know the blogger’s a man, so…

LBT
LBT
6 years ago

RE: Alex

So you don’t like misogyny, that’s cool. What is your opinion on gay men? Just wondering.

I’m a gay man. What is it you want to know?

RE: Kittehs

I knew it! I knew it! The dreaded word g0ys really does mean what it looks like!

You know, I was trying so hard not to make that joke…

RE: tumblr fights

Oh man, I don’t dare get involved, because tumblr is such an awful platform to have a conversation on! You can never find anything again, you have to reblog the WHOLE FUCKING CONVERSATION, and one blip and you can miss a response and keep fighting old data. Why so many people use it for just that, I have no idea.

katz
6 years ago

Alex, in case you are a gay man/ally who is honestly wondering whether zie would be welcome here, yes, you most certainly are.

But that’s a kinda odd question.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Alex:

If you’re not trolling, straight answer: there are plenty of men on this site, and several of them are gay.

If you are trolling, what on earth are you talking about?

katz
6 years ago

I have love/hate relationship with gay men. They have great Attack and Defense stats, but their Speed is pretty bad. When I have one on my team I send him out first to do a good amount of damage, but usually they don’t last till the end of the battle :/

No, no, the trick is you have to pair them up with a dedicated caster who can keep them buffed and healed. Then they’re amazing.

LBT
LBT
6 years ago

RE: katz

No, no, the trick is you have to pair them up with a dedicated caster who can keep them buffed and healed. Then they’re amazing.

I must concur. It’s how my system runs! 😀 (No, seriously, I’m the system tank, and hubby and younger sibling run buffs and heals for me.)

And if Alex turns out to be asking because he thinks feminists thinks being attracted to men is misogyny, I am going to be mighty disappointed.

kittehserf
6 years ago

I knew it! I knew it! The dreaded word g0ys really does mean what it looks like!

You know, I was trying so hard not to make that joke…

See, I did it to spare you, ‘cos I CARE. 😉

That, or I can’t resist temptation.

trans_commie
6 years ago

Alex, assuming your question is sincere, you are only unwelcome here if you’re a bigoted (AKA sexist, racist, ableist, heterosexist, cissexist, etc.) jerk who makes highly inappropriate comments like death/rape threats and deliberately tries to trigger people or make them feel unsafe. That’s it. Being a gay man won’t get you banned or ostracized here.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
6 years ago

I even see the lack of training where I work, and there’s nothing better than someone yelling at me because our customer service blows goats. I can listen to them and apologize, but that’s about it. It drives me nuts that companies don’t put more into training.

Where I work, it’s more that management implements decisions in such a secretive and ass-backward manner that the front-line staff can’t answer questions, so they piss off the customers, who complain to management, who shit on the front-line staff for having poor customer service skills. I mean, training on customer service is good and helpful. But when your management doesn’t give a shit about their customer base, no amount of excellent customer service skills (by non-management people) is going to fix that.

We actually had a program cancelled, and I was instructed NOT to inform the enrolees until I saw the press release. There was no press release. The program disappeared from our website without a trace. I had to beg for permission to let these people know that they would not be getting their product, and I was very sorry, and would be happy to refund their money, but no, there was no replacement product, and I was very sorry. And now I’m getting all pissed off again, and should probably shine my resume up some more.

once had a clinic protester tell me that the pregnancy rate was higher for women on birth control because they’re having more sex.

O_O *shakes head* o_O Nope. Does not compute.

emilygoddess
6 years ago

If you’re not trolling, straight answer

And if you would prefer a queer answer, we have those, too 😉

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
6 years ago

Eeee, cute little googly-eyed emoticon! What else can I make?

o_O O_o 🙂 😀 🙁 >:/ :p

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
6 years ago

Okay, well. That answers that.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
6 years ago

Use a capital O, not a zero

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
6 years ago

Also, probably an underline and not a period.