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Down the Drain

I hate doing dishes too.
I hate doing dishes too.

I am still sick as a dog –more specifically, as a sick dog — so I thought I’d share the misery with you all by sharing this, what is possibly the most depressing ad for paper cups ever devised. Who knew that the solution to “the problem that has no name” was Dixie cups?

Mr. Show offered an updated take on this ad technique with their classic Mayostard/Mustardayonnaise ad parodies:

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Nova
Nova
7 years ago

Glad to hear that you’re heading into the doctor if things don’t improve, David. Chest infections are definitely something to be careful with and I hope that you get it taken care of. There is a nasty 2 week cold going around, at least where I live, but it’s relatively harmless, other than the fact that it makes you feel like crap for longer than it should.

Something that always helped me was to boil a pot of water with cloves and eucalyptus and then inhale the vapor. It loosens up some of the crud in there and feels really soothing. I did that every day through radiation and until my esophagus and bronchial tubes healed. It helped SO much.

The ferrets send their best wishes for you to feel better soon. I think the cats would too, but they’ve passed out on my legs.

titianblue
titianblue
7 years ago

David, sounds like you’ve bronchitis-induced asthma. been there, had that. Go to the doctor & get something to ease your tubes. And feel better soon.

girlscientist
girlscientist
7 years ago

David, I’m joining everyone to tell you to go to the doctor. My brother once left his bronchitis untreated and he ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. Take good care of yourself!

titianblue
titianblue
7 years ago

OT but there is the creepiest Nice Guy TM “Rush Hour Crush” doing the rounds :

Cappuccino One Sugar. If you’re the girl I think you are, I’m often in the queue behind you at Letchworth Garden City Station’s coffee shop. I’ve tried flirting but you’re too busy trying to get the attention of the guy behind the counter. I’m training to be a barrister, you’re ignoring me for a barista. Please turn around so we can discuss my briefs. Shiny Shoes. English Breakfast Tea.

How many levels of “ick” is that?

girlscientist
girlscientist
7 years ago

@titianblue: that is really icky. I’m not sure how much more entitled you can get than:

Please turn around so we can discuss my briefs.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Weirwoodtreehugger: That’s me. That guy was something else.

amandajane5
amandajane5
7 years ago

Thanks sparky, that looks like a likely candidate. It was one of those weird things, and it may very well have been an experimental/newbie, I don’t quite know what to call it, but not-on-the-market-type drug because I went to Johns Hopkins, so we had a lot of that kind of thing going around. I have always wished for it again, because it was seriously a miracle, it knocked everything right out.

canuck_with_pluck
canuck_with_pluck
7 years ago

Gute Besserung David!!!!!!

leftwingfox
7 years ago

The best mayonnaise I’ve ever had was a chipotle-lime aioli that was used as a dipping sauce for Sweet Potato Fries. So good.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

How many glasses do you wash a day, twenty?

Was washing twenty glasses a day a thing? I have trouble believing that grandparents and their 5 children generated 20 glasses on a daily basis.

opium4themasses
opium4themasses
7 years ago

@transcommie Avocado chocolate pudding is really good, but you have to remember to use lots of cocoa and let it set overnight. If you don’t let it set it tastes like you would first imagine. However, after setting the chocolate overpowers the avocado and it ends up being a great option for lactose-free pudding.

Also, it works better if you use a “real” sugar and not splenda or other zero-calorie sweetness. I used honey and it worked out very well.

Howard Bannister
7 years ago

Re: Bacon

I’d been buying pre-made pizza doughs infused with basil, which were delicious, and when I saw them offering pre-made pizza dough infused with bacon… well, I’m not the most bacon-crazed of men, but I did buy one.

Sadly, the bacon doesn’t survive the freezing and thawing and cooking with its flavor intact. Back to basil-infused pizza for me.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Hang in there, David. I’ve had bronchitis with pleurisy; fun, fun. They gave me strong antibiotics every time, plus cough syrup with codeine, which made sleeping a lot easier. But then, I was coughing up great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts, too. Nth-ing everybody’s advice to see your doctor and get whatever meds you can.

As for bacon-all-the-fuck-over-EVERYTHING, that’s just wrong. Especially if it’s dessert. I have spoken, and that is all I have to say on the matter. >solemn look<

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

Me too, augzz. Bacon itself just grosses me out.

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

Have to say I find this thread refreshing as it may be the first and only non-explicitly-vegetarian corner of the Internet I have found that is not all “Bacon Worship Forever. “

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

I truly can’t stand mayonnaise. Both the flavour and the texture really put me off. I can handle a little bit in things like tuna salad, where it binds the ingredients together, but if there is enough that I become aware of its presence it’s almost impossible for me to eat.

Basil-infused pizza shells, on the other hand, sound amazing.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

Hellkell: You did very well shooting that troll down. He’s on Jezebel a lot and has some very bizarre ideas. He has some ridiculous theory that Eastern European women don’t like Eastern European men anymore because Eastern European men are too masculine and hairy and the media has convinced women to go against nature and become attracted to feminine looking men like Justin Bieber. Also, all British people have an elfin appearance. He’s like an MRA/Evo psych type that dropped too much acid.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

WWTH (is that an OK shortening of your nym?): He went from zero to c*nt in six seconds, didn’t he? So much for his “reasonable” veneer.

zippydoo
zippydoo
7 years ago

Re: the Jezebel article

Oh, hellkell, you took on that guy? We need to make you a super-person costume. My skin crawls reading his responses. His views on basically everything he comments are so smug, and he hangs around Jezebel to mansplain everything in the most fucked up ways possible, to purposely make women feel as subhuman as possible while playing the nice guy card.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

zippydoo: I knew I should’ve just ignored him, but he is so very awful. I fed him till he had a meltdown, which didn’t take long for such an internet tough guy.

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

So . . . since now everyone else needs to know, I’m sure, so I’ll ask . . . what did you say to this dude, hellkell?

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

I told him that not getting sex on demand wasn’t a plot devised by women to destroy his manhood, and that if he’s not dating grown-ups who can communicate, perhaps the problem lies with him. He then called me an asshole who couldn’t read, so I told him that not only could I read what he’d written, but that he was repulsive, and I could see why relationships might pose a challenge.

AK
AK
7 years ago

I’m pretty sure that is the same guy who claims that porn is a Jewish plot to destroy Christianity and likes to imply he’s a psychologist of some sort but gives lie to that by internet-diagnosing people left and right (did you guys know Belle Knox has borderline personality disorder? It’s true, you can tell because she does porn and has self-harmed!). He’s so weird and awful that it kind of circles back around to hilarious for me.

cloudiah
7 years ago

David, I hope you get awesome medications that knock this thing right out of your system.

Everyone, do not mess with hellkell; she will hand you your ass in a spectacular fashion. On the other hand, if you ever have a chance to see hellkell hand a troll hir ass, take it. ‘Tis a thing of beauty, and a joy forever. With copious swears. XD

zippydoo
zippydoo
7 years ago

@hellkell

I know the feeling of needing to answer. I usually end up peering into the dark abyss of a human soul lacking all empathy and compassion and end up feeling sick inside, especially knowing this is someone who has relationships with other people. So I can’t usually cause them to reveal their true colours unharmed. But I feel immensely satisfied when others do get them to melt down.

And, no surprise, he’s an extremely racist guy too. What a winner.

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

Lots of these guys really are extra awful to Asian women. 🙁

katz
7 years ago

I usually end up peering into the dark abyss

I read this as “I usually end up peeing into the dark abyss.”

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

Hopefully one first calls into the dark abyss to make sure no one is standing there.

zippydoo
zippydoo
7 years ago

@katz

Darn good thing I wasn’t drinking anything when I read that!

katz
7 years ago

It’s a messed-up version of that scene from Garden State where they shout into the abyss.

vaiyt
7 years ago

Statistically, Tumblr -is- more diverse and gives more visibility to social justice issues than other internet communities. The thing is, being better than awful doesn’t mean good – and it makes people with entrenched privilege feel like they’re being swamped.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

Auggz, are you referring to the fact that the text gets progressively larger? Because that’s extremely weird. Is it only on mobile, maybe? Sometimes perfectly decent-looking websites end up total disasters on mobile.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

I missed the Jez troll. What’s his nym? Because I can think of one who fits that description, and he used to try to mansplain our sexual preferences to us back when I commented there, which was ages ago.

vaiyt
7 years ago

Libertarians have a very narrow definition of “forced” that excludes anything that’s not physical violence imposed by a State… and unions, for some reason (gee, I wonder).

If your pay is shitty, you’re always “free” to move your labor elsewhere, presumably sustaining yourself on air and good feelings while you’re out looking for a new job.

kittehserf
7 years ago

katz:

I read this as “I usually end up peeing into the dark abyss.”

viscaria:

Hopefully one first calls into the dark abyss to make sure no one is standing there.

Well, since it’s a troll abyss we’re talking about, I wouldn’t bother.

Are any of these Jezebel trolls ones we’ve had here?

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

@auggz its like we are learning these embroidery troubleshooting tips from someone who is getting increasingly urgent and INCREASINGLY LOUD.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

Did that guy not realize that Japan is a fully industrialized and developed country? I’m a little confused about why a woman would need to be rescued. There are some issues with sexism there, but what country doesn’t have issues with sexism?

For those who want to read the thread we’re talking about, here’s a link to the post.
http://jezebel.com/ladies-heres-50-things-you-must-know-to-keep-a-man-1549300629

David if you’re reading this, that ridonkulous list might make a good subject for a post when you’re feeling better.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Actually Jez seems to attract a higher than average percentage of “this is what you REALLY like, ladies” trolls than most other blogs with mostly female readership. I guess because it’s linked to Deadspin and Kotaku it just represents too perfect a splaining target for splainers to ignore.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Ooh, wait, is this the guy who claims to have a Japanese wife who has told him, among other things, that hosts/hostesses are held in the highest possible social standing in Japan and that therefore hostessing is a profession all women aspire to, which is a thing that the shit-ass lesbians on Jez should learn from?

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

Forgot to add. The troll’s name is the Adlerian. Click show all replies to see all the threads.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

In that case it’s a different guy. Because obviously we needed more than one.

katz
7 years ago

If your pay is shitty, you’re always “free” to move your labor elsewhere, presumably sustaining yourself on air and good feelings while you’re out looking for a new job.

Last night I was just reading advice for the long-term unemployed that they should find unpaid work in their field to keep from having gaps in their resume.

Why would employers ever hire anyone for money if there was a large pool of people who were being forced to do professional work for free?

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Last night I was just reading advice for the long-term unemployed that they should find unpaid work in their field to keep from having gaps in their resume.

That is horrible advice, and probably illegal or a giant insurance liability for an employer to agree to unless it’s a volunteer position or an internship (and those are usually specifically indicated as such).

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

I know that here a lot of job sites won’t let employers post unpaid gigs unless they’re actual internships that offer college credit, because if it’s not an internship and they’re not getting college credit out of it, you should be paying your staff.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

(I’ve actually reported one particular company to one of the job boards multiple times for breaking this rule via creatively worded job postings.)

katz
7 years ago

If anyone asks about the gap in my resume I’m just going to put down “caring for orphaned kittens.”

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Maybe the state labor board would like to know about those creative postings. Especially in CA.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Katz: your volunteer work for the rescue is a great thing to put on your resume.

katz
7 years ago

I’m a goddamn chemist.

Octo
Octo
7 years ago

Libertarians have a very narrow definition of “forced” that excludes anything that’s not physical violence imposed by a State… and unions, for some reason (gee, I wonder).

If your pay is shitty, you’re always “free” to move your labor elsewhere, presumably sustaining yourself on air and good feelings while you’re out looking for a new job.

Yeah, preaching freedom to starve is bad enough… but sometimes it’s even worse with libertarians. Because you’re right: Many of them only define force and violence in terms of the state/government. When corporations apply force of the same type, even violence, then they usually find a way to justify that as not actually being force/oppression.