So our dear friend Heartiste, the white-supremacist woman-botherer, has assembled a little “Chateau Heartiste Crib Sheet of Game,” a compilation of some of his best pickup advice, boiled down to a few handy tips and clever one-liners that wannabe alpha males can use on the ladies during conversation in order to get their ginas tingling. (Sorry, that’s the way these guys talk.)
Looking at Heartiste’s list of “lines” I was struck by how generic and, well, frankly unoriginal most of them were, from standard issue negs like “nice shoes. Those are really popular now” and “is she always like this?” to old-school PUA cliches like “I don’t buy girls drinks but you can buy me one” and “what else do you have going for you besides your looks?” both of which come straight from peacocking PUA pioneer Mystery, the guy with the fuzzy hat and the long-ago-cancelled VH1 show.
Indeed, a lot of Heartiste’s “lines” are as old and stale as he is:
Don’t get clingy
Miss me already?
Hey, hands off the merchandise
If i didn’t know any better i’d say you were trying to pick me up
So I thought I’d do Heartiste a little favor and write up some new lines for him and his fans that are both more original and a bit more honest. Next time you’re in “da club,” Heartiste, why don’t you try some of these out? Some of these I made up myself; some are taken, or adapted, from things you yourself wrote.
Hi, I spend most of my life on the internet trying to figure out how to manipulate drunk women half my age into bed.
People on the internet know me as Heartiste. No, not Fartiste. With an H. No, it’s not a joke. I thought it up myself.
I like to call black people “darkies.” No, not to their face. Anonymously, on the internet.
I’m an alluringly savvy man self-assuredly parrying the clit-hardened jousts of intrigued women.
Too much outbreeding decreases charitable kin-feeling and incentivizes a decadent ennui that severs the citizen’s sense of obligation to his nation and co-ethnics.
A gentlemanly selectiveness honed by years of experience and psychological nimbleness has proved adequate at filtering out women likely to lay like dead fish in my roiling sea of sperm.
If anyone can usurp the lawyercunt in cuntishness, it’s the Twittercunt.
The walls are closing in on the lords of lies and their feels army of emotabots.
Whether our ruling class knows it or they bumble along like drug addicts seeking the next pleasurable injection of power at any cost, their sex-swapping project will turn the West into matricentric, female forager Africa.
Every time we had sex over the following weeks, it ended with her tucking her knees under her chin naked on the bed to quietly cry into the wrapped bubble of her body.
The only bond that matters in a woman’s heart is the one you caulk in her cock vault.
The ruling elites despise whites, despise the concept of whiteness, and despise especially the idea that the territory and nation and culture from which they parasitically suck the lifeblood was created and sustained primarily by white men.
The id of the Like Me Generation is a furry suit wrapping a toddler.
Women should avoid trying to be funny altogether and stick to maximizing the return on their authentically valuable assets. That would be your tits, ass, face and pussy, in case you were wondering.
That last bit was pure Heartiste. (As were the previous ten.) Like the women of the world, I can’t hope to attain such pinnacles of wit.
And what else would you have me do? I’m arguing my position. If that ends up being, in relation to what else has been said, as “yes, but”, well, then it is “yes, but”.
Read the room and take a hint?
Oh, I do read it. And with the same validity as opinions against movement atheism are espoused here, I argue in favour of it. I mean, I suppose I can understand why you would like an opinion monopoly on the issue, but don’t expect me to support that.
I thought that “read and understand” was implied, but I guess not. Extra points for being amusingly pompous, though.
::snicker::
Octo – I think I’ve already mentioned it in this thread, but to repeat: there’s history on this blog of a really nasty blow-up that was caused largely (as I read it) by a couple of AsshatAtheists™ who also had a bad case of being the Queerer Than Thou Police. It led to some very bad feeling and nasty memories that lasted far longer than the departure (or gigantic flounce) of said members, and others who weren’t being asshats at all but were hit by all this shit.
It’s odd, but I don’t recall anyone other than trolls pushing their religious agendas here; they would be stomped on anyway. But there are recurring instances of people coming really close to AsshatAtheist™ behaviour, sometimes with a touch of straw-Vulcan thrown in, and that gets stomped on too. IMO you’re getting there. Please cut it out.
And for the love of Ceiling Cat, use blockquotes!
I try! When you don’t even see ” “, that was a failed attempt by my at blockquote…
…I think I wrote quoteblock… oops. Yes, real intellectual genius by my there…. ouch…
Ehem. I see. But it would be a bit frustrating to see all those negative opinions about movement atheism here and not speak up for it. However, I suppose, yeah, I’ve made my point and can in fact keep quiet now.
Did you get the Firefox toolbar? It made the blockquoting so much easier for me. I once got devoured so spectacularly by the blockquote monster it made it into the Welcome Package. ::preens::
I definitely don’t want to eradicate religion. I just think it’s important to acknowledge that religion can be a cause of, and not just an excuse for, bigotry. That’s really all I’ve been saying, albeit a bit angrily as a result of some very unpleasant memories resurfacing when thinking about Christianity and homophobia (not triggered or anything, don’t worry).
RE: Kittehs
Not to mention that it’s freaking obvious non-human animals think, and recognise elements of human language. Nice bit of toxic anthropocentrism in all this language = thinking stuff.
*scratches head* Actually, from what I recall, there’s some debate over language acquisition in animals. There are rules for languages… but some human languages break them, and I THINK that whale and dolphin communication sometimes qualified. Plus, how we define language is incredibly narrow. (For the longest time, deaf folks had to fight and be like, “No, assholes, Sign Language is a LANGUAGE, not just a transcription of a different one.”) So I would be completely unsurprised if animals have their own form of communication that reach the intricacy of language, just in a form so alien to us humans we missed it.
the endless universalising of rightwingUSChristianity to represent the whole freaking religion, or all religions, or all belief, is what really pisses me off.
Speaking of which… FRED PHELPS HAS EXPIRED! Though I try to spend as little mental energy on that wretched man as possible, I will confess that my first thought is, “DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD.” May he never blacken our doorsteps again. And hopefully that beastly little church will dissolve without his leadership and we can erase them from communal memory.
RE: CassandraKitty
Also, can we stop pretending that America is the universe?
NEVER! And yeah, I’m pretty sick of this too. I was enjoying discussing with other atheists and religious people how they interpret and feel spirituality and lack thereof, but I am so sick of this dead horse resurrecting yet again.
Mr C has lots of Catholic relatives, and guess who’s everyone’s favorite auntie?
Aaaaand I just came out multi to one of the women at my trans group who’s a conservative libertarian Catholic. She was very kind about it.
RE: emilygoddess
Don’t have to, I am one. 😉 Also a Pagan. And also pretty sure there are no gods. All of which is one of the reasons why that conflation of concepts so irritates me.
My apologies. And yeah, hubby hasn’t been in church for ages, but is considering trying a UU place again. I think my younger sibling is also interested since lately zie has been veering… not sure if Pagan is the right word, but definitely some sort of internal individual faith.
Not likely, unfortunately. He was actually *excommunicated* from WBC before his death. There is some karmatic justice in that: At the end of his life he has been cut off from everything that was important to him in his life, his church. That’s a nice thought. Plus, according to his hypercalvinist theology that pretty much means he is not one of the elect, so according to his own theology he’s going to hell now.
But in more practical terms that means the church had already divested itself from him even before his death. It’s apparently ruled by a council of elders now who won a power struggle against that woman who was for years the church’s spokesperson. So, yeah, it already was without his leadership.
Enh. They can’t last much longer. When even the Klan hates you, you’re pretty much doomed to infamy and erasure, only to be remembered as a shameful thing of the past. Like Ma and Pa Ferguson.
My favorite coverage of Phelps’ death was an article in the Daily Mail crediting him with actually helping the cause of LGBT rights in the US, since the other homophobes had to tread lightly and not to push too hard lest they be associated with him. I’m sure someone on WorldNet Daily or InfoWars is calling him a secret gay infiltrator as we speak…
It’s OK, I was doing the Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead dance too.
RE: emilygoddess
My favorite coverage of Phelps’ death was an article in the Daily Mail crediting him with actually helping the cause of LGBT rights in the US, since the other homophobes had to tread lightly and not to push too hard lest they be associated with him.
Honestly, despite all the wretchedness of the Daily Mail, I have to kind of agree. Because, remember, this is the group THE KKK disavowed. I remember their website for a while had a freakin’ disclaimer that summed down to: “No, we are not the WBC. Stop associating us with those wingnuts.”
I have also discovered that no matter what disagreements I have with anyone, I think we can always band together in our united dislike of the WBC. NOBODY likes those fuckers.
Is it manboobz or mangina. I bet you make your inflatable date proud
Is it manboobz or mangina?? I bet you make your inflatable dates proud.
Well, I’m not quite sure why bhodi1555 felt the need to repeat that hackneyed excuse for an insult twice, but, well, there it is.
Well, I mean, he added two question marks to the second version. You know someone is a serious individual who’s not to be trifled with when they double up on their punctuation.
Double question marks is the new two-dot ellipses.
@bhodi1555, you know it’d help with those sticky keys if you cleaned your keyboard, right?
I feel like I should screenshot this for the next time some “incel” comes here to whine about how we are all mean evil virgin-shamers.
Looks like I missed the most boring troll of all time. What a shame.
You speak like someone who would know from Rubber Ritas. Just sayin’.
Is it trolling or just stupid? My money’s on both.
Man Boobz? More like MANGINA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Sounds like a joke made by a 6th grader