Christina Hoff Sommers: “If ‘bossy’ has to go because it is sexist, then shouldn’t we stop using male-vilifying terms like ‘mansplaining’ & ‘rape culture’?”

RE: Kittehs

I’m always amazed at your imagination and writing and drawing skills. No, amazed is the wrong word, it implies surprise. Stunned by the awesomeness would say it better.

I have a little document on my computer called Good Stuff, where I keep some of the nicest things people online have ever said to me, for those days when I feel I have acheived nothing and am a parasite upon the bum of humanity. This comment is going into my Good Stuff.

RE: David

Could someone explain to me why tall buildings don’t just blow over when hit by strong winds again?

I wouldn’t swear to it in court, but there are a couple factors. One is how narrow the building is–remember those houses on stilts you see on the Gulf Coast? It’s because the little stilts have to deal with less force from the water than a whole platform would be. (I think.) Also, the bendy buildings don’t blow over specifically because they’ve been made with slack. Something completely unyielding would fall over; more flexible things bend with the force, and then return to position.

RE: Falconer

Sometimes I think my Brain TV writers are channeling the Lost writers. They’re good on spectacle, crap on backstory.

Hey, I never said my Brain TV started out good. IIRC, originally they were Mary Sue’s Adventures in Xanth. Then we got better.

I have to say I find the feminist trolls more annoying than the MRA trolls only because I expect douchery from the latter whereas the former is supposed to be on our side. Jennydevildoll, you were being willfully obtuse and reading your arguments was like slowly and repeatedly knocking my head against a wall.
About reclamation, I reclaim b*tch for myself and only for myself. I do not call anyone else a b*tch because it would be taken in an insulting way no matter how I meant it. Nor do I even identify myself as a b*tch. I reclaim it only in the sense that if someone uses it against me, I cope with it by giving it a positive meaning. For example: he’s calling me a b*tch; that means I’m successfully denying him something he wants of me that isn’t on my terms. I’m therefore doing something right. Bitch and proud!
I do not think a man can reclaim b*tch, and unless talking solely about the word or referring to a female dog he shouldn’t use it at all. Oh noes! I’m attacking Freeze Peach!
As for “bossy”, I was never aware of it being a gendered term (also hadn’t heard it since reading Fifty Shades of Shit, and before that, grade school) until this recent campaign. However, now that I’ve learned it is, guess what I won’t be doing? Calling a woman bossy. Ever. For any reason. And for the record, the way jennydevildoll used it was not in any reclaiming it. She used it in exactly the same way women are calling problematic. Congrats! You’re part of the problem.

Anyway, Ally, I don’t know you as well as some other regulars here, but I have reads previous comments when lurking during times I can’t think what to add to the conversation. So glad you found a good therapist!

This earthquake talk is cool. I have a weird fascination with natural phenomena/disasters. lad everyone’s safe, though! Also, I didn’t know that about buildings swaying. Makes total sense; I’d just never thought of it.

Oh, and finally, whoever said that thing about how if you’ve never had anyone tell you about their sexual assault, it’s because no one trusts you enough to do so? YES. THAT. I think it was hellkell or Cassandra.

This thread has been a perfect example of how not to engage with people on the internet.

@hellkell – When you read the whole statement, instead of just your cut & paste, I was responding to titianblue asking if I just meant using “diva” as a put down was pathetic, the rest of it said:

But yes, it would be right to say I find using “diva” as a put-down pathetic, especially given that I see it as a performer who is not only talented, but has put in the work and passion to really master what they do. It has a sense of active initiative taken that way. It’s also interesting to note that unlike other put-downs we’ve discussed, like “bossy”, “bitch” or “slut”, it didn’t start out as something generally perceived as negative that people have tried to confront with reclaiming, or making taboo, or other tactics — it was a word that started out being positive, that misogynists have somehow managed to use as a way that comes out as a negative.

I was saying that “bitch and slut” had originated as insults, UNLIKE “diva” which started out as a term of respect for a talented performer,and then somehow got twisted outside of performance spheres into a put-down directed at women.

You really don’t get it do you? That you find it pathetic is irrelevant. It doesn’t change the fact that every time it is used to mean someone overly demanding, overly dramatic, hard to work with or with delusional ideas of their own talents, it associates all those ideas with being female.

For you to say, repeatedly, that it’s not a big deal because it doesn’t bother you implies the only person you care about is yourself. In fact, that is the absolute essence of unexamined privilege – “It doesn’t hurt me so it’s not a problem”.

@Kim – No, I’m saying “diva” SHOULD NOT be used as an insult, that it wasn’t intended as an insult originally, but a term of respect, and that those who turn it into a gendered insult are in the wrong, and probably don’t even know the actual meaning of the word.

However, I’m also saying that there are people out there using it in the correct way, the positive way, and that they shouldn’t have to abandon a word that was theirs to begin with(meaning people in aspects of performing arts.) because some other people out there are using it incorrectly.

I’ve just pointed out that others have taken it that way also..No, I’m not putting it towards anyone as an insult, and I wouldn’t call women bitches who were uncomfortable with the term.

You still haven’t said that Bob shouldn’t call Alice “bitchy.”

I don’t think it’s [bossy] being used fairly against girls.

Unless you’re using it against a girl, in which case it’s totally fair.

RE: grumpycatisagirl

I love the idea of a “Good Stuff” folder. I should probably start one. Thanks for giving me the idea, LBT, and now you can put in your Good Stuff folder that you’ve given me a good idea.

Yes! Since my entire environment these days is rigged to protect the sacred mental health, I have a lot of things like this. Good Stuff folder on my computer, I hang tons of my art on my walls to remind myself that I’ve made pretty things, and when I get fanart, I keep that on my comp or on my wall to remind myself that I’ve inspired other people to make pretty things. It doesn’t cure the self-loathing, of course, but it helps take a big bite out of it and remind me that it’s talking nonsense.

@Kim – No, I’m saying “diva” SHOULD NOT be used as an insult, that it wasn’t intended as an insult originally, but a term of respect, and that those who turn it into a gendered insult are in the wrong, and probably don’t even know the actual meaning of the word.

However, I’m also saying that there are people out there using it in the correct way, the positive way, and that they shouldn’t have to abandon a word that was theirs to begin with(meaning people in aspects of performing arts.) because some other people out there are using it incorrectly.

Well, good. We agree on that bit at least.

You didn’t actually read the post, did you, dunbe?

When one describes a statement as “dopey” and “backwards,” as David did in the OP, that fairly clearly indicates that one does not agree with any part of that statement, and that one’s criticism of that statement goes far beyond a typo.

I mean, he didn’t just come out an say, “I do not agree with this statement and am critical of it.” But that was pretty strongly implied.

@dumbe

His observation about Sommers’ typo was a side comment. If you had paid any attention to this post, you would see that his main problem with Sommers’ ridiculous tweets is her suggestion that “mansplain” and “rape culture” are bigoted against men.

RE: Cassandrakitty

A Good Things folder is a great idea. And you can now add “helping to distract people from long, frustrating, utterly pointless argument” to it.

I’m really glad people like this idea. I know it helps me… you know, when I remember to actually LOOK at it. <.< But it's still a relatively recent addition to my arsenal of sunshine and rainbows.