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#LiesToldByFemales is the misogynistic cesspool you might expect. Plus giant lizards, and JC Penney

Lying female
Lying female

So Twitter is a bit depressing today. One of the trending hashtags at the moment is #LiesToldByFemales and, yes, it’s the misogynistic cesspool that you might expect, a vast assortment of not-very-original stereotypes about women — sorry, females — and their allegedly lying ways. The female-bashing tweeters — some of them female themselves — aren’t even terribly original in their complaints, and most of the tweets seem to be reworkings on a few very basic themes.

We have the good-old fashioned trope of the female-as-narcissist, forever obsessed with how she looks — and given to lying about how much work she puts into her appearance.

https://twitter.com/xstepheezyx/status/441301976781815808

Then, of course, there are the cheating “females.”

https://twitter.com/j4keh4rris/status/441295523610255360

https://twitter.com/ATLREPPA/status/441302902964224000

And the evil, evil females who tell people they’re “fine” when they’re really not so fine at all:

https://twitter.com/steveo396/status/441327634375376896

But most of the Tweets — or at least the most virulent ones — seem to be devoted to not-so-good old-fashioned slut-shaming. A favorite target: the slut pretending not to be s slut:

https://twitter.com/jbdangles/status/441311430319804416

https://twitter.com/jaleenelia/status/441304024969539584

https://twitter.com/Codehhhhh/status/441316300350947328

The strangest variation on this theme is the following:

This particular meme is, for some strange reason, quite popular; versions of it have been Tweeted dozens of times by dozens of different people since the hashtag started up yesterday.

It’s a strangely revealing complaint. There are only two scenarios in which I can imagine a man getting angry about this statement from a “female.” Either he’s angry at a woman who didn’t give him a blowjob (even though she’s allegedly given blowjobs to other men), 0r he’s angry at a woman who did give him a blowjob (even though she said she didn’t do that). Really?

In the first instance, he’s essentially announcing to the world that he’s an asshole who’s jealous that women are having sex with men other than him; in the second he’s basically showing himself to be an ungrateful asshole who never deserves to get a blowjob ever again. Either way, dude, you’re not the one who looks good here.

The one heartening sign in all this: a few intrepid souls have ventured into the swamp to subvert this noxious old meme.

https://twitter.com/nymphofthewoods/status/441304073094983680

Give it a shot yourself — I have. At least if you can stand being in some pretty repulsive company.

NOTE TO LARGE CORPORATIONS: I wouldn’t recommend jumping into this particular hashtag if I were you. Might not look so good alongside some of the other Tweets. I’m looking at you, JC Penney.

Ooh, that’s original.

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Ally S
10 years ago

“I have never eaten cereal for dinner.” #LiesToldByKids

“I wasn’t worried about you looking over my shoulder – I just happened to check my email inbox each time you passed by my computer.” #LiesToldByInternetUsers

katz
10 years ago

“I have never eaten cereal for dinner.” #LiesToldByKids

#LiesToldByMeRecently

Ally S
10 years ago

katz, you’ll get this one:

“I am not an attention-seeker at all and I always write excellent fiction.” #LiesToldByFictioneers.

katz
10 years ago

OMGFICTIONEERS

Ally S
10 years ago

Dictionary entry for fictioneer:

one who writes fiction especially in quantity and without high standards

Oh my. I love it when a word means almost exactly as it sounds. At the same time, I’m bothered by the fact that it’s an actual word.

katz
10 years ago

I just looked up the dictionary definition of fictioneer. LMAO!

katz
10 years ago

Ninja’d! We even looked up the same definition!

kittehserf
10 years ago

“We are working to ensure your call is answered as quickly as possible.”

“Nobody was there to take the delivery.”

“Your parcel should arrive in the next fifteen minutes.”

“This call may be monitored to maintain our high customer service standards.”

#liestoldbycouriercompanies

“This train has been delayed due to operational requirements.”

“We apologise for any inconvenience.”

#liestoldbyrailwayoperators

Ally S
10 years ago

It wasn’t kind of not a coincidence that we found the same definition because as I searched for the definition, I literally thought to myself “I’m sure the Merriam-Webster entry is reliable because that’s the dictionary [katz] used to beat me in a word game.”

kittehserf
10 years ago

I’m guessing you two didn’t have to chase each other round the house with the dictionary the way I have with Mr when we’re playing Scrabble! 😀

katz
10 years ago

I just use it because it’s the first Google result. (And don’t feel bad about the definitions game. I’ve played it before.)

katz
10 years ago

I’m guessing you two didn’t have to chase each other round the house with the dictionary the way I have with Mr when we’re playing Scrabble! 😀

Nah, this is the game where you each name a word and whichever one has the most listed dictionary definitions wins.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

“We really do intend to piss off and stop bothering you some day.”

#liestoldbymgtow

“Women think we’re hot. Falling all over themselves to get at us, they are.”

#liestoldbypuas

Ally S
10 years ago

“All of our lines are currently busy. You will be transferred to a representative shortly.” #LiesToldByCustomerService

“Nothing could possibly go wrong if I drink coffee on an empty stomach.” #LiesToldByAlly

I’m guessing you two didn’t have to chase each other round the house with the dictionary the way I have with Mr when we’re playing Scrabble! 😀

We were just bored momentarily and decided to play a game in which we tried to find the words with the greatest number of distinct meanings e.g. “light.” It was fun, but probably one of the quickest word games ever.

contrapangloss
10 years ago

“Sphensisciformes can fly at altitudes of up to 10,000 feet” #LiesToldByBiologistTrolls

“There are polar bears in Antarctica” #LiesToldByCocaCola

Ally S
10 years ago

“New long-lasting flavor!” #LiesToldByJuicyFruit

katz
10 years ago

“We’ll get back to you within two weeks.” #LiesToldByEmploymentAgencies

Ally S
10 years ago

“Pasties protect me from swords and bullets in ways that actual suits of armor never will.” #LiesToldByOverlySexualizedFemaleVideoGameCharacters

Ally S
10 years ago

“I never have any problem with not eating chocolate.”

“I didn’t furtively take in 10 hits as I was listening your story.”

#LiesToldByStoners

kittehserf
10 years ago

Nah, this is the game where you each name a word and whichever one has the most listed dictionary definitions wins.

That sounds fun!

kittehserf
10 years ago

Pasties? Okay this is a different definition game, ‘cos I’m pretty sure it doesn’t mean Cornish pasties.

contrapangloss
10 years ago

“I’m really a female wasp” #LiesToldByOrchids

contrapangloss
10 years ago

Aaaand I should probably stop before I add too much ridiculousness through made up hashtags.

It was really fun, though. The #liestoldbyfelines were kind of amazing, and I love them dearly. Geniuses, the lot of you!

10knives
10knives
10 years ago

That JC Penny tweet furthers confirms my suspicion that the secret goal of social media is to expose the most idiotic elements of your typical marketing department.

wewereemergencies
wewereemergencies
10 years ago

“What do you mean ‘what am I doing here’? This is my shed you’ve wandered into.”

#LiestoldbyForeignCats