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Roosh’s Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Hoax: Manipulative PUAs see what it’s like to be manipulated, don’t like it so much

The pickup artist scene is a haven for manipulative assholes — and manipulative asshole wannabes — so it was hardly a surprise to see a post on Roosh V’s Return of Kings blog last week defending some of the internet’s most ubiquitous manipulative assholes: trolls.

Embracing rather than challenging a recent study that found internet trolling “correlated positively with sadism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism,” RoK’s runsonmagic suggested that such “dark triad” traits can serve leaders well and that trolling, handled expertly, can be a form of “provocative art.”

“Trolling can actually contribute to our culture by revealing our societal triggers and emotional weaknesses,” he wrote.

Emotionally secure people are not harmed by others perspectives, genuine or trolling. … If you feel like you are being trolled or become angry at something you read online, see if there is a way you can learn from the experience and be grateful for it.

Well, Roosh’s fans have just undergone quite a learning experience, but they’re not feeling very grateful.

Yesterday, as many of you already know, one of Roosh’s trusted lieutenants, a fellow going by the name of Tuthmosis, posted a message on Roosh’s forum saying that their beloved leader had been arrested by Polish authorities after a violent confrontation with a former pickup buddy in Wroclaw, Poland who was now said to be spreading lies about Roosh spreading STDs.

The story itself was plausible enough, and I did a quick post on it, though given the utter unreliability of the source I prefaced it with a disclaimer noting that it should be treated with skepticism, as it could well be some sort of weird publicity stunt.

There were some skeptics among Roosh’s fans as well, but many took the story quite seriously, and tried to figure out ways they could help out their hairy guru, who they thought was being held incommunicado without bail in a jail cell in Wroclaw. CaptainGH sent his prayers:

I hope all the best for Roosh, a man that has helped a lot of us in becoming better men!! I said a prayer for him. Keep us informed as best as you can Tuth.

Sometime RoK contributor Fisto, meanwhile, suggested what he really needed was lawyers and money:

Tuthmosis, set up a paypal account. We are going to donate to a legal defense fund right now!

He needs a lawyer that can go and deliver messages to him. Chances are he has no communication with anyone outside the jail.

He needs to know we’ve got his back.

I don’t give a damn who the other party is or whether he was “wrong”.

I’ve spent time in holding cells/jail in foreign countries (as well as domestically) and it can be stressful. Your mind is racing a 1000 miles a minute and it can get dark. …

We need to get that guy that’s doing work for him some money to hire an attorney YESTERDAY.

As Roosh’s worried fans tried to transform their concern into action, Tuthmosis’ own postings became stranger and stranger, as he asserted control of Roosh’s forum and unveiled a bunch of odd new rules and “fee structures” for the forums. Eventually his postings became so implausible that it became clear the whole thing was a hoax. I updated my own post accordingly.

Roosh himself fessed up shortly thereafter. While he boasted, not exactly accurately, that “we managed to troll the tub of estrogen Manboobz and his readers,” it was clear that the only people really taken in by his hoax were some of his own readers. And so his “confession” was a weird mixture of self-congratulation and mea culpa.

Evidently the entire thing was inspired by a photo he had taken of himself sitting in a former Stasi jail cell at a museum devoted to the history of the former East Germany — the photo that Tuthmosis claimed was a picture of him in a Polish jail cell.

The picture used is from the German DDR museum. Two weeks ago I put it on my personal FB page and had worried friends contacting me asking if I was okay. Realizing the power of the photo, I came up with the idea to have a hoax with two stages: (1) Me in jail, and (2) Tuth going “mad” with power.

He then gave the first indication that he realized that maybe he shouldn’t have played on the emotions of his followers:

I expect many of you to be annoyed, and I hope Tuth and I didn’t betray your trust with the prank,

Alas, that bit of contrition only lasted for half a sentence, as he continued on:

but the security and viability of the forum was never compromised and the picture was just too good not to use. Credit goes to Tuth for his “new rules” … which—if you were in on the joke—was quite amusing. I also did not expect the story to be as believed as it was, since there are many flaws in the picture that suggest it’s not a real jail cell, but on the other hand, the prospect of me going to jail is not unexpected. If you are pissed off, I recommend you read Tuth’s bulletins to see the humor in the prank (the “bill me later” option was my favorite).

He ventured again in the direction of an apology, but then turned it around into a weird sort of preemptive self-pity in the not-entirely remote  case the whole thing ends up biting him in the ass in the future:

I do sincerely appreciate the thoughts of concern of my Polish imprisonment. Now of course I really will be jailed and no one will believe it because of this false jailing accusation.

But not all of Roosh’s fans were impressed with his Dark Triad leadership.

In a topic devoted to Roosh’s confession on his forum, a disgusted Quintus Curtius wrote,

You don’t joke about death, imprisonment, or pregnancy. Especially to your friends.

Many of the comments were a weird mixture of indignation and irony, as dudes without much in the way of morals attempted to express their moral outrage over Roosh’s betrayal of trust. Dog24 put it this way:

Strong hypocrisy coming from two guys who have written many articles criticizing false rape accusations, false domestic violence charges and such.
What was the point of all this attention whoring?

Guys offered connections, money and elmech even said he could fly there if needed. I think all those guys deserve an apology.

As a community who values morals so much one would think some of its leaders wouldn’t be joking around with this kind of stuff.

Morals? I guess spending your entire life trying to figure out how to manipulate drunk women into bed is a-ok but manipulating the emotions of other dudes is just not done, bro!

A number of Roosh’s longtime supporters, meanwhile, announced they were taking their balls and going home. thedude3737, who has made nearly 3500 comments on Roosh’s forum, wrote:

I’m gonna be taking a break from RVF for a while. We’ll see. …

This was a major misstep. You’ve got guys in real life ready to take action and contribute real money to help a serious situation. I don’t know of another online forum with that level of camaraderie. I’d like to think of this forum as a group of guys that are above such antics and internet drama. …

I take this forum seriously, and I’m not the only one. In return, I would expect to be taken seriously.

MikeCF, another prolific commenter, denounced the hoax as unacceptable “bullshit” from two men he had trusted. He offered this bittersweet farewell:

I love you guys and would never hate on you.

I’m signing off, though.

I was about to start calling around people IN REAL LIFE to find a Polish speaking lawyer and was going to lay down the cash needed to get the ball rolling, if needed.

I dunno…In my world this just isn’t cool or funny or something you make light of. It’s serious business that means I drop everything to get shit handled.

But it was our old friend Fisto who really brought the drama. Because, apparently, the hoax had knocked them all down (yes, down) to the level of “feminist bitches,” and that is Just. Not. Acceptable. I’ll let him explain, because I really can’t:

One of the reasons we come here, is that we hold ourselves to a higher standard.

We consider ourselves masculine, above feminine bullshit, and in that vein we are pursuing self improvement in virtually every area of our lives. …

Tuthmosis tapped into the virtues we have as men, the things that separate us from dumb bitches, and exploited it. …

Guys like myself, TheDude3737, MikeCF, A. Bosche, MaleDefined, and many others understand what coming to your brother’s aid when he needs you means and that is why this particular prank is so…..fucking fucked.

Our virtues were used against us and in a way that you would expect from our enemy.

I felt as though we were all no better than a bunch of goddamn feminist bitches that gossip about each other and pray for each other’s downfall.

I’m sure that characterizes and explains the departure of some members, after all, we are supposed to be better than that.

I’m sure of it because this haven of no bullshit was suddenly filled with it.

We all learned our lessons yesterday, unfortunately, this time around we are weaker for it.

I can only hope so.

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cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Also dark and with shitty music playing. So like an Abercrombie and Fitch, but without the dudes with the impressive abs plastered all over the walls.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

PUA-tears candles would smell like a combination of half-empty pizza box left under the bed and stale, unwashed cum-socks.

I was definitely thinking it would smell like the socks, but the pizza box and the Axe are a nice touch. Add a faint whiff of desperation and I think we’re there.

Ally S
7 years ago

I know I would drop my panties immediately if I walked into a PUA’s room that smelled like Axe, old stale pizza, semen-encrusted clothes, and beer.

…hopefully I never reach a point in life in which I actually find myself walking into a PUA’s room.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

You could be walking in to his dorm room to tell him to get his ass out of bed because there’s a fire drill? That’s about the only reason I can think of.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

If there’s a fire, I’ll be sitting passively in my room waiting for a manly alpha fireman to offer me Greek yogurt.

cloudiah
7 years ago

If there’s a fire, I’ll be sitting passively in my room waiting for a manly alpha fireman to offer me Greek yogurt.

XD

Ally S
7 years ago

Maybe I could tell him to get his ass out of bed…in an effort to distract him from posting on Return of Kings.

ORWELLIAN! FEMINAZI! MISANDRIST!

hippodameia8527
hippodameia8527
7 years ago

Roosh thought he had a great plan –
his friends would cry out “You’re the man!”
But his joke was a bust
and he’s lost all their trust.
Hey guys, how’s it feel being scammed?

Ally S
7 years ago

Oh, oh – are we doing poetry again?

Roosh Valizadeh
No redeeming qualities
He’s a rapist and a jerk

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

For me, the delicious nougaty center of the trainwreck is the way reactions on both sides turned out to be the exact opposite of what Roosh envisioned. I mean, what did he expect was going to happen? Fist bumps and congrats from the RoK dudebros, tears of humiliation from Manboobzers at having been successfully trolled? Roosh thought faking his arrest would make him a legend. Instead it made him look like a colossal idiot, pissed off the tiny remnant of people who care about him, and caused the rest of us unbridled glee and popcorn consumption.

They’re so absolutely terrible at predicting how people will react in a given situation. This whole prank was like a Door Pattern that backfired.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

greazy hair and hot air
there’s trouble in the man lair
roosh lies to them too

takshak
takshak
7 years ago

The Axe is a nice touch.

There’s no matching the classics-
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/16/Train_wreck_at_Montparnasse_1895_2.jpg

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
7 years ago

Awesome! A PUA does something shitheaded and manipulative, and the only people who get hurt are other PUAs. The only way it could be better is if he, y’know, didn’t do something shitheaded and manipulative at all. But baby steps, baby steps.

Ally S
7 years ago

I mean well, my friends
Maybe if I went to jail
Girls wouldn’t see the hair

Shiraz
Shiraz
7 years ago

What’s freaky is that all his followers saw him as a folk hero of sorts. Ewww. I mean, really?

hippodameia8527
hippodameia8527
7 years ago

Women suck
a whole lot.
Give me money.

Jessay (@jessay)
7 years ago

Wow, I know most of these guys have never exactly talked to any women, but to characterize women as not helping each other in times of crisis is pure nonsense. As a member of an online group of women for about 5 years I can attest to seein women band together time and time again if another woman needed help. Raising money to help women get out of abusive situations, pay rent, etc. As a feminist I specifically seek to support other women. Their understanding of feminism is so off it’s not even funny.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Greasy hair don’t care
But the ladies aren’t biting–
Need a new plan, stat!

Ally S
7 years ago

Old socks filled with spunk
Excessive Axe body spray
I am your dream man

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: cassandrakitty

PUA-tears candles would smell like a combination of half-empty pizza box left under the bed and stale, unwashed cum-socks.

Well, THERE’S a powerful sensory image. Thanks a lot, I’m going to have THAT stuck in my head all night now.

RE: Buttercup Q. Skullpants

If there’s a fire, I’ll be sitting passively in my room waiting for a manly alpha fireman to offer me Greek yogurt.

Welp, thread’s over. Buttercup’s nailed it. We can’t top that, unless Fibinachi shows up to compete.

Shadow
Shadow
7 years ago

@Ally

I know I would drop my panties immediately if I walked into a PUA’s room that smelled like Axe, old stale pizza, semen-encrusted clothes, and beer.

In order to cover a questionable spot on the floor I assume

House Mouse Queen
7 years ago

I don’t really pay attention to the PUA sites b/c they really are triggering for me but damn this is priceless. I can hear that song from Spinal Tap called ‘Gimme Some Money’.

Do I have to come right.flat.out.and.tell. you everythang
Gimme some monayy!

kittehserf
7 years ago

There’s a minor reason to hope he doesn’t go to jail – pity the poor person who has to cut that filthy hair off.

Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

Ah, the popcorn, it is so buttery and delicious. Nom.

contrapangloss
7 years ago

Buttercup, I just realized that none of our engines have Greek yogurt in the med-kits. This is a terrible, awful oversight. I must talk to the division chief next drill.

Angela Jones-Parker
7 years ago

Some of the dudebros on Roosh’s forum got called out by Tuthmosis for not finding the trolling funny. “Let’s keep this in perspective” and “are you going to hold a grudge?” There’s just no owning their own shit over there. Tuthy is all butthurt over how thin loyalty goes because some of the posters are Done With This Crap but gosh, guess what? Trolling YOUR OWN FORUM is fail. Who knew?

Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

Angela – Apparently Roosh and Tuthy didn’t. 😛

Angela Jones-Parker
7 years ago

So true. Sigh. I kept digging deeper and it turns into “I apologized and it was funny and sorry you’re butthurt but get over yourself” and it’s a wonder any of these guys reproduce. It’s like watching a terrible trainwreck, reading this stuff.

Wetherby
Wetherby
7 years ago

As far as I can make out, these guys are desperate not to reproduce, because then they’ll be paying child support for ever while the mother of the child in question goes out clubbing every night where she has the pick of any passing alpha male. Because that’s totally how it works.

zippydoo
zippydoo
7 years ago

Is there a set of guidelines about how to win the internet? (Besides the serious ‘You can’t’) version.

I’ve noticed over the past couple of years, trolling has taken a weird turn. For instance, Manboobz was ‘trolled’… how? Most people were doubtful, and it didn’t exactly change how Roosh’s forum members viewed this place, as we’re already a in their eyes. And then a forum administrator trolls his own forum, with his little minion pushing for money charges when it’s already a shitty site that pushes shitty books on how to pick up women for money. How is that a win? How is the ‘bill me later’ option any funnier than paying 4.99 to learn how to not have sex with Danish women (hint: it’s easy, I’m doing it RIGHT NOW) or how to give off the appropriate penis-vibe to ‘insane’ Argentinian women?

And it is really weird that an entire forum dedicated to imitating Roosh’s sexual exploits was making him feel inadequate enough to try this recent little attention-seeking stunt. Way to alpha, bro. Shouldn’t he be busy fending off the hordes of HB10 women accidentally falling on his penis from all the game he excretes?

Fibinachi
7 years ago

If there’s a fire, I’ll be sitting passively in my room waiting for a manly alpha fireman to offer me Greek yogurt.

Welp, thread’s over. Buttercup’s nailed it. We can’t top that, unless Fibinachi shows up to compete.

I have been summoned!

Where am I? What’s going on? I just woke at the break of dawn and
somehow I’m expected to be plugged in and connected
and I don’t know how to make things flow,
haven’t had my coffee, even though, this Roosh Validez
must’ave made a mess if the pretense of a confession
reached though the layers of obsession
made a mighty miniscule alpha tool feel a twitch of tension

It’s a lark, we should snark, because it’s stark how far in the dark the fools are now that they’ve been made a mark, but

albeit they’re sad saps slumming up with other sad chaps
I can’t compete! I must concede! For against Buttercup’s fancy fluff my words just won’t add up

(Plus, I too like firefolk with yoghurt on the go)

I declare the defeat.

Fibinachi
7 years ago

how to not have sex with Danish women (hint: it’s easy, I’m doing it RIGHT NOW)

… hahahah. I’ll spot you a beer if you’re ever near Funen, just for that laugh.

katz
7 years ago

There’s a minor reason to hope he doesn’t go to jail – pity the poor person who has to cut that filthy hair off.

TOTAL BRAINWAVE: Convince all PUAs that they won’t really be alpha until they join the military! Then they’ll all have to lose their terrible hair!

Downside: Definitely won’t help the problem of sexual abuse in the military.

Nova
Nova
7 years ago

You know, this reminds me of the guy who rescues the snake, who then turns around and bites him. As the man was dying, he asked the snake why it bit him, after he saved it’s life. The snake’s response was that biting is just what snakes do. Con artists are con artists, whether it be with women or with each other. Roosh’s devotees can’t really be surprised when the snake turns on them, so to speak.

I’m also vaguely amused at how many posters in the two threads I read have spent time in holding cells, whether in the US or abroad. You know, if that’s a thing that’s happening to you, perhaps it’s time to reconsider how you’re living your life.

My burning question is what the point of all this was. He’s not going to make money off of this. His forum dudebros think he’s an asshole for doing it. He got some attention, but that’s about it. Maybe some short lived lulu as he and his buddy were planning it. Overall, he screwed himself, all for… well, nothing.

I’m shuddering while I type this, but I agree with the dudebro who said that there are some things you don’t joke about. This really is one of them and it makes me sick that some people think it’s okay to do it. Not only does it completely screw your friends, but it makes it hard for anyone reaching out for help to be believed and for people who need help to reach out, as they may fear that they won’t be believed if they do (I know I’ve worried about it in the past.) Thanks, Roosh! You found yet another way to make the world a little worse for you being in it.

AIT
AIT
7 years ago

Katz:

(AIT, not USAF)

I would certainly love to see their faces when the folks with clippers finished removing the hair, but would pray those PUAs didn’t make it past the first week of boot. Plus I don’t enjoy the thought of forcing anyone into military service.

The biggest downside I could see is the fact they are in the military. They would play that up as part of their con. I don’t want them to sully my military. I also realize I have no idea what country Roosh is actually from, so whatever his local flavor of military is, I am glad they don’t have him in it.

kittehserf
7 years ago

paying 4.99 to learn how to not have sex with Danish women (hint: it’s easy, I’m doing it RIGHT NOW)

I’m seeing an updated version of How Not To Be Seen here …

http://youtu.be/zekiZYSVdeQ

Just Saying!
Just Saying!
7 years ago

I’ve never seen a menz movement implode like this afore. Surely Roosh has made internet history by shooting himself in the balls whilst badly alienating the very men HE NEEDS to keep his lil ole misogynistic empire chugging along. Even his pity party for one is backfiring spectacularly on him. Shouldn’t gloat but ha ha this is COMEDY GOLD. I bet he rues the day he let his narcissistic side talk him into this mess .. no … this hilarious FARCE. Deary me. It’s made my week. What a childish, attention seeking asshole he looks right now.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

It’s a lark, we should snark, because it’s stark how far in the dark the fools are now that they’ve been made a mark, but

albeit they’re sad saps slumming up with other sad chaps
I can’t compete! I must concede! For against Buttercup’s fancy fluff my words just won’t add up

* applause * Fibinachi, no one can hold a candle to you. Not even an Axe-and-Cheeto dust scented one.

contrapanglos – that is indeed a serious situation, not having adequate yogurt firefighting supplies. Maybe a community fundraiser? My workplace has a square of American cheese hanging in the kitchen (“In case of emergency, peel wrapper, aim, and patronize”) but that can only distract the wimmenfolk from their ladyfeels for so long.

The worst jail of all:
solitary confinement
inside Roosh’s head.

kittehserf
7 years ago

I bet he rues the day he let his narcissistic side talk him into this mess

I doubt he’s got even that level of insight – it’s all the fault of his dudebros for not being alpha enough to shrug it off.

Though if they had, it’d really show they didn’t take him as seriously as he’d want. That’d undermine his place as the cock on the dunghill.

Just Saying!
Just Saying!
7 years ago

@kittehserf :: Lol yep that’s true. They’re not alpha enough to shrug it off but if they had it’d show they couldn’t care less what he does and oh nooooooooo we can’t be having that! I’m sure he’s feeling like a complete dick about this. Na. He doesn’t do introspection!! Anyway it’s nearly midnight in Oz so better get some shut eye but this has made my day. Will fall asleep with a grin that’s for sure! Cheers for now.

titianblue
titianblue
7 years ago

So I’m curious. Other than squawking like over-excited chickens and indulging in a load of internet racism, did Roosh’s followers actually do anything?

opium4themasses
opium4themasses
7 years ago

@titianblue I doubt they did much of anything. They’re too chicken. All I see them do is strut and preen. These guys are too narcissistic to break into their nest egg, assuming they even have one. They keep talking up their camaraderie but what they have isn’t anything to crow about.

Falconer
7 years ago

Babbies!

Apropos of absolutely nothing. But I make no excuses. It’s babbies!

fromafar2013
fromafar2013
7 years ago

@ Falconer

Babbies? http://facethebuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/baby.jpg

That’s what my imaginary future kid will be like, fyi.

PS: Your cute babbies are super cute ;D

vaiyt
7 years ago

The whole victimhood-as-learning-experience reminds me of the first Saw movie, and the logic is just as sound.

cloudiah
7 years ago

BABBIES!!!

katz
7 years ago

BABBBBBIIIIIIEEEEESSSSSS!

Falconer
7 years ago

Aw, thank’ee kindly.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

How is the ‘bill me later’ option any funnier than paying 4.99 to learn how to not have sex with Danish women (hint: it’s easy, I’m doing it RIGHT NOW) or how to give off the appropriate penis-vibe to ‘insane’ Argentinian women?

“Appropriate penis-vibe”? Sorry, that just called up the most hilarious mental image of the crotch of Roosh’s crappy jeans suddenly waking up like a cellphone and going bzz-zzz-zzzz…

OMG…can’t…breathe…please…send…help…and…Greek…yogurt….

>collapse<

kittehserf
7 years ago

Teh babbies are always apropos!

Just Saying! – I was up very late last night too, typing that. I don’t remember if either of us had mentioned being Aussies. ::waves:: 🙂