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Roosh’s Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Hoax: Manipulative PUAs see what it’s like to be manipulated, don’t like it so much

The pickup artist scene is a haven for manipulative assholes — and manipulative asshole wannabes — so it was hardly a surprise to see a post on Roosh V’s Return of Kings blog last week defending some of the internet’s most ubiquitous manipulative assholes: trolls.

Embracing rather than challenging a recent study that found internet trolling “correlated positively with sadism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism,” RoK’s runsonmagic suggested that such “dark triad” traits can serve leaders well and that trolling, handled expertly, can be a form of “provocative art.”

“Trolling can actually contribute to our culture by revealing our societal triggers and emotional weaknesses,” he wrote.

Emotionally secure people are not harmed by others perspectives, genuine or trolling. … If you feel like you are being trolled or become angry at something you read online, see if there is a way you can learn from the experience and be grateful for it.

Well, Roosh’s fans have just undergone quite a learning experience, but they’re not feeling very grateful.

Yesterday, as many of you already know, one of Roosh’s trusted lieutenants, a fellow going by the name of Tuthmosis, posted a message on Roosh’s forum saying that their beloved leader had been arrested by Polish authorities after a violent confrontation with a former pickup buddy in Wroclaw, Poland who was now said to be spreading lies about Roosh spreading STDs.

The story itself was plausible enough, and I did a quick post on it, though given the utter unreliability of the source I prefaced it with a disclaimer noting that it should be treated with skepticism, as it could well be some sort of weird publicity stunt.

There were some skeptics among Roosh’s fans as well, but many took the story quite seriously, and tried to figure out ways they could help out their hairy guru, who they thought was being held incommunicado without bail in a jail cell in Wroclaw. CaptainGH sent his prayers:

I hope all the best for Roosh, a man that has helped a lot of us in becoming better men!! I said a prayer for him. Keep us informed as best as you can Tuth.

Sometime RoK contributor Fisto, meanwhile, suggested what he really needed was lawyers and money:

Tuthmosis, set up a paypal account. We are going to donate to a legal defense fund right now!

He needs a lawyer that can go and deliver messages to him. Chances are he has no communication with anyone outside the jail.

He needs to know we’ve got his back.

I don’t give a damn who the other party is or whether he was “wrong”.

I’ve spent time in holding cells/jail in foreign countries (as well as domestically) and it can be stressful. Your mind is racing a 1000 miles a minute and it can get dark. …

We need to get that guy that’s doing work for him some money to hire an attorney YESTERDAY.

As Roosh’s worried fans tried to transform their concern into action, Tuthmosis’ own postings became stranger and stranger, as he asserted control of Roosh’s forum and unveiled a bunch of odd new rules and “fee structures” for the forums. Eventually his postings became so implausible that it became clear the whole thing was a hoax. I updated my own post accordingly.

Roosh himself fessed up shortly thereafter. While he boasted, not exactly accurately, that “we managed to troll the tub of estrogen Manboobz and his readers,” it was clear that the only people really taken in by his hoax were some of his own readers. And so his “confession” was a weird mixture of self-congratulation and mea culpa.

Evidently the entire thing was inspired by a photo he had taken of himself sitting in a former Stasi jail cell at a museum devoted to the history of the former East Germany — the photo that Tuthmosis claimed was a picture of him in a Polish jail cell.

The picture used is from the German DDR museum. Two weeks ago I put it on my personal FB page and had worried friends contacting me asking if I was okay. Realizing the power of the photo, I came up with the idea to have a hoax with two stages: (1) Me in jail, and (2) Tuth going “mad” with power.

He then gave the first indication that he realized that maybe he shouldn’t have played on the emotions of his followers:

I expect many of you to be annoyed, and I hope Tuth and I didn’t betray your trust with the prank,

Alas, that bit of contrition only lasted for half a sentence, as he continued on:

but the security and viability of the forum was never compromised and the picture was just too good not to use. Credit goes to Tuth for his “new rules” … which—if you were in on the joke—was quite amusing. I also did not expect the story to be as believed as it was, since there are many flaws in the picture that suggest it’s not a real jail cell, but on the other hand, the prospect of me going to jail is not unexpected. If you are pissed off, I recommend you read Tuth’s bulletins to see the humor in the prank (the “bill me later” option was my favorite).

He ventured again in the direction of an apology, but then turned it around into a weird sort of preemptive self-pity in the not-entirely remote  case the whole thing ends up biting him in the ass in the future:

I do sincerely appreciate the thoughts of concern of my Polish imprisonment. Now of course I really will be jailed and no one will believe it because of this false jailing accusation.

But not all of Roosh’s fans were impressed with his Dark Triad leadership.

In a topic devoted to Roosh’s confession on his forum, a disgusted Quintus Curtius wrote,

You don’t joke about death, imprisonment, or pregnancy. Especially to your friends.

Many of the comments were a weird mixture of indignation and irony, as dudes without much in the way of morals attempted to express their moral outrage over Roosh’s betrayal of trust. Dog24 put it this way:

Strong hypocrisy coming from two guys who have written many articles criticizing false rape accusations, false domestic violence charges and such.
What was the point of all this attention whoring?

Guys offered connections, money and elmech even said he could fly there if needed. I think all those guys deserve an apology.

As a community who values morals so much one would think some of its leaders wouldn’t be joking around with this kind of stuff.

Morals? I guess spending your entire life trying to figure out how to manipulate drunk women into bed is a-ok but manipulating the emotions of other dudes is just not done, bro!

A number of Roosh’s longtime supporters, meanwhile, announced they were taking their balls and going home. thedude3737, who has made nearly 3500 comments on Roosh’s forum, wrote:

I’m gonna be taking a break from RVF for a while. We’ll see. …

This was a major misstep. You’ve got guys in real life ready to take action and contribute real money to help a serious situation. I don’t know of another online forum with that level of camaraderie. I’d like to think of this forum as a group of guys that are above such antics and internet drama. …

I take this forum seriously, and I’m not the only one. In return, I would expect to be taken seriously.

MikeCF, another prolific commenter, denounced the hoax as unacceptable “bullshit” from two men he had trusted. He offered this bittersweet farewell:

I love you guys and would never hate on you.

I’m signing off, though.

I was about to start calling around people IN REAL LIFE to find a Polish speaking lawyer and was going to lay down the cash needed to get the ball rolling, if needed.

I dunno…In my world this just isn’t cool or funny or something you make light of. It’s serious business that means I drop everything to get shit handled.

But it was our old friend Fisto who really brought the drama. Because, apparently, the hoax had knocked them all down (yes, down) to the level of “feminist bitches,” and that is Just. Not. Acceptable. I’ll let him explain, because I really can’t:

One of the reasons we come here, is that we hold ourselves to a higher standard.

We consider ourselves masculine, above feminine bullshit, and in that vein we are pursuing self improvement in virtually every area of our lives. …

Tuthmosis tapped into the virtues we have as men, the things that separate us from dumb bitches, and exploited it. …

Guys like myself, TheDude3737, MikeCF, A. Bosche, MaleDefined, and many others understand what coming to your brother’s aid when he needs you means and that is why this particular prank is so…..fucking fucked.

Our virtues were used against us and in a way that you would expect from our enemy.

I felt as though we were all no better than a bunch of goddamn feminist bitches that gossip about each other and pray for each other’s downfall.

I’m sure that characterizes and explains the departure of some members, after all, we are supposed to be better than that.

I’m sure of it because this haven of no bullshit was suddenly filled with it.

We all learned our lessons yesterday, unfortunately, this time around we are weaker for it.

I can only hope so.

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cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO DO THIS TO US, IT’S NOT FAIR. HOW DARE YOU TREAT US LIKE WE ASPIRE TO TREAT WOMEN?

This is the best internet wank ever. It’s like a headline from The Onion come true.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

That was fun to relive. Is fisto trying to say that female friends don’t help each other? That springing into action to help a friend in need is an exclusively male trait?

Huh?

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

but on the other hand, the prospect of me going to jail is not unexpected.

Interesting “not un” construction there, Rooshie. Are you telling us that you ARE going to jail for a violent offence?

Our virtues were used against us and in a way that you would expect from our enemy.

Bwahahahaha at the “virtues” bit. Since when are credulity and hardcore stupidity virtues?

And you haz seen the enemy, and it is YOU. Don’t you feel foolish now?

contrapangloss
7 years ago

The guy who proposed lying to half of humanity on a regular basis and liked giving tips on how to be particularly scummy just lied to you guys and pulled a scummy trick?

I’m shocked.

Like this fish: http://www.tickld.com/cdn_image_content/345625.jpg

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

I love this righteous moral outrage from the dude who came here and tried to make the “goddamn feminist bitches” feel guilty over his made-up dog who was hit by a car driven by a “female.” (that’s the same guy, isn’t it?)

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

I love this righteous moral outrage from the dude who came here and tried to make the “goddamn feminist bitches” feel guilty over his made-up dog who was hit by a car driven by a “female.” (that’s the same guy, isn’t it?)

That was my thought, too, upon seeing that name. Sure would be sweet if it WAS him. Fitting karma for a troll of that ilk…

sparky
sparky
7 years ago

grumpycatisagirl: Yes, that’s the same guy.

And I was almost feeling bad for them.

Sweet, sweet schadenfreude.

leatapp
leatapp
7 years ago

They were knocked down to our level? So they were making popcorn and laughing at the douches being douchey to one another too?
No?
Maybe my fembrains are clouding my ability to see in what way these whiny asshats being duped by the guy who teaches them that manly = misogynist abuser makes them like the people who have been saying for a while that Doosh is a immoral dipshit and anyone who would look up to him is an even bigger dipshit.

Meanwhile, it is fun to watch their delusions of superiority wrecked on the iceberg that is their rape guru’s narcissism.

Just FYI, for anyone just tuning in and enjoying the show: PUa tears are best paired with an amber ale or a dry white wine.
…and popcorn, lots of buttery, buttery popcorn.

http://cdn.styleforum.net/0/0b/350x165px-0b464c89_tumblr_lvo2835OOi1qe3p9bo1_500.gif

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Aw, poor Fisto. First his dog, now this.

Stuffed Fantod
Stuffed Fantod
7 years ago

EPIC. Just EPIC.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Sound of world’s smallest violin for these guys.

I’m loving it, just loving it.

insanitybytes22
7 years ago

“Tuthmosis tapped into the virtues we have as men, the things that separate us from dumb bitches, and exploited it. …”

Oh gawd, my ribs hurt from laughing so hard.

This was funny, too:

“I’ve spent time in holding cells/jail in foreign countries (as well as domestically)”

That’s a great line for a pua. Right up there with, Hello, my name is Hannibal Lector.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Emotionally secure people are not harmed by others perspectives, genuine or trolling. … If you feel like you are being trolled or become angry at something you read online, see if there is a way you can learn from the experience and be grateful for it.

Yes, no matter what anyone says to you, you should not feel any negative emotions. Be a fluffy New Age bunny, and just think positive thoughts! Only don’t, because positive thoughts aren’t manly. Just feel patronizing amusement, that’s manly enough without betraying any sort of caring.

We consider ourselves masculine, above feminine bullshit,

Oh please. You guys are cattier’n a bunch of drag queens backstage, without the charm or the glamour.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

I swear, this is like the most entertainingly educational piece of performed manliness I’ve ever seen. It’s kind of hilarious.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

We consider ourselves masculine, above feminine bullshit,

…but sadly, not above MASCULINE bullshit, which is the bullshittiest of all.

Ha, ha.

sugarvonmurderertits
7 years ago

Someone genuinely trying ‘pursuing self improvement’ might take a moment to reflect that it feels pretty shitty to be manipulated and jerked around and maybe they should stop doing it to women. But I guess that would take a bit more self awareness and introspection than the majority of those guys are capable of.

Anyway, the tears are sweet.

opheliamonarch
7 years ago

I prefer the Faith No More version:

http://youtu.be/ZoABnwYJJy0

The sentiment bears repeating.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Bina

…but sadly, not above MASCULINE bullshit, which is the bullshittiest of all.

Don’t be foolish! Masculinity HAS no bullshit! That’s why it’s better than everything else, and why men are in charge and oh god I can’t do it someone please douse my brain in bleach.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

You guys are cattier’n a bunch of drag queens backstage, without the charm or the glamour.

Or as they say on RPDR: Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent.

kittehserf
7 years ago

It’s priceless, isn’t it? They think Roosh is telling them what great and valued dudes they are, because DUDES (or more likely, PENIS), not like those vaginathings they have to spend time abusing just to get their oh-so-precious PiV orgasms.

Then they find out Roosh despises them almost as much as he does women; only difference is he’s not trying to fuck them, he’s trying to get money and ego-strokes from them. His problem is, his innate nastiness and urge to hurt people tripped him up here, and he’s suddenly found he’s pissed off the only people in the world (apart from his mum) who would give him the time of day.

Schadenfreude, sweet lovely schadenfreude.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Also, oh god that old song. I’m having flashbacks to predecessor’s misbegotten youth, spent on bad pop music that way predated her… soon I’m going to be having flashbacks to the Tokens and the Fireballs.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

I’m still cracking up about the forum member who was offended because Doosh and his little minion supposedly stole his idea for a prank. So adorable.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Don’t be foolish! Masculinity HAS no bullshit! That’s why it’s better than everything else, and why men are in charge and oh god I can’t do it someone please douse my brain in bleach.

Here you go…fluffy torbie brain bleach! With extra toes on all fours, too!

sparky
sparky
7 years ago

Hmm, I know I have some brain bleach around here somewhere:


http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W5gMp3ZjYg4

serrana
serrana
7 years ago

Now I’m craving pie. Schadenfreude pie, to be exact.

Shiraz
Shiraz
7 years ago

My goodness, they’re so emotional. Can’t they take a joke? How can they expect anyone to take them seriously when they profess so many hurt fee-fees. Fee-fees are for illogical ladybrains, after all. And why aren’t they thanking their beloved Doosh for ushering them through this new experience, because, you know:

“Emotionally secure people are not harmed by others perspectives, genuine or trolling. … If you feel like you are being trolled or become angry at something you read online, see if there is a way you can learn from the experience and be grateful for it.”

Brooked
Brooked
7 years ago

Roosh’s inexplicably loyal followers feel emotionally manipulated, Fisto worries that he’s no better than a goddamn feminist bitch and Sparky has switched dog pictures.

THE WORLD HAS GONE MAD.

cloudiah
7 years ago

This has all been so very entertaining.

BreakfastMan
BreakfastMan
7 years ago

@opheliamonarch: FAITH NO MORE, YES. Love that band so much. 😀

Anyway… I am just chugging down these PUA tears. They taste so, so sweet. And they are good for you, too! 😀

Brooked
Brooked
7 years ago

Snowplow chimes in.

I really do love this forum as I’m sure many members here do, but its water under the bridge. It shows that even though stuff happens, we probably have one of the strongest sense of community via the internet. For what its worth, victim groups could only be so lucky to have as much info and hard work put into theirs as we do ours. If people decide to leave it will be a shame, but life moves on.

I think he’s dissing AVFM with the “victim groups” comment, because Rooshies complain about how they conflate masculinity and victimhood. Meow.
I have to say I’m weirded out by how these guys view this commercial PUA site as the focal point of their lives and how much faith they put in Roosh Five, of all people.

Lady Mondegreen
7 years ago

There’s only one thing Roosh is capable of doing–manipulating people–and looks like he’s not even very good at that.

Good thing most of his minions are dumber than buckets of toes.

Cinzia La Strega
7 years ago

Either version. This song, for this post, is simply… perfection.

Shadow
Shadow
7 years ago

John Dimaggio disagrees with our intrepid Puke-n-As

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
7 years ago

They all seem terribly impressed with themselves for having considered perhaps maybe thinking about doing something or other.

oraclenine
7 years ago

The guy makes a living telling guys to lie and do whatever it takes to get teh sex, but his followers thought he wouldn’t lie to them. Why?

As for their super special sense of community being so extraordinary- horse shit.

Having a sense of community is one of the things the internet is for. The internet pushes aside distance and allows people to find like minded souls every minute of every day. I’ve taken in part in online community donations for dozens of people despite never having met them face to face. I’ve danced at the weddings of people I know (from the internet) who met on the internet. I’ve been to a funeral or two, as well. I’ve slept on the couches of internet friends, taken a break on a road trip to meet up- even where we live now is partly based on a recc from an online friend. I’ve made phone calls late at night because an online friend was unhappy and hey, I was up anyway.

Yes, some of the RoK forum guys were ready to stand by their friend. But patting themselves on the back over how special that makes them is absurd.

Robert
Robert
7 years ago

If Roosh did not exist, it would be impossible to invent him. Nobody would take it seriously. Imagine reading a short story with an episode like this – implausible would be the kindest description.

Lili Fugit
Lili Fugit
7 years ago

This is, so far, my favorite manosphere trainwreck. And given all the manosphere is comprised of IS trainwrecks, that’s saying a lot.

Caroline Not-So-Sweet
Caroline Not-So-Sweet
7 years ago

Ironically, it’s this MGHOW that best sums up Roosh’s hoax:

http://omegavirginrevolt.wordpress.com/2014/03/02/honesty-doesnt-exist-in-the-so-called-manosphere/#comments

He’s right. Why should anyone with a modicum of brains believe a thing Roosh says after this stunt?

Aside from the few posters on RooshV’s forums who were butthurt, most of his PUA followers will simply blow it off and go back into denial.

Caroline Not-So-Sweet
Caroline Not-So-Sweet
7 years ago

Oh, BTW, is it any surprise that Roosh had discovered,in the space of a few short years, that Polish women have gone from being feminine and hot to being ugly feminist hags? Go figure:

http://www.rooshv.com/5-reasons-why-you-should-reconsider-going-to-poland

He sure has a strange way of dealing with embarrassment.

takshak
takshak
7 years ago

I wonder if you could get the PUA tears infused into a candle?

Kim
Kim
7 years ago

I just want you to know that I gossip about ALL of you behind your backs. Even the lurkers whose names I don’t know.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

Dear Lord, please bring about the downfall of Kim and all of my other enemies on this site. And send some nice shoes while you’re at it.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
7 years ago

There’s only one thing Roosh is capable of doing–manipulating people–and looks like he’s not even very good at that.

Which makes me feel better because it means he probably hasn’t conned and abused as many women as he claims.

They all seem terribly impressed with themselves for having considered perhaps maybe thinking about doing something or other.

I had the same thought. Like, was mister “totally about to call a lawyer” actually about to call someone, or was he just thinking of Googling for one, as soon as he was finished with his dinner?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

PUA-tears candles would smell like a combination of half-empty pizza box left under the bed and stale, unwashed cum-socks.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

In some cases, that would be a considerable improvement.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

“Honesty doesn’t exist in the manosphere”…and these fuckheads are just NOW figuring that out? Bwahahahahahah.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Safety suggestions – don’t burn any candles around Roosh, that hair is a fire hazard.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Roosh’s hair is a grease fire just waiting to happen.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

Once lit, it could probably stay alight for days, like the Olympic torch. What with all the noxious gasses venting from his head.

Ally S
7 years ago

PUA-tears candles would smell like a combination of half-empty pizza box left under the bed and stale, unwashed cum-socks.

Plus an overpowering Axe odor.

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