Another open thread for personal stuff, continuing from here.
As usual for these threads: no trolls, no arguments, supportive comments only!
Categories
We Hunted The MammothBucking the Backlash
We Hunted The Mammoth
OT, but whatever: That is one awesome flying tuxedo kitty.
Also, congrats to all with good news…and good luck to all who need it!
My objective for 2014 is to secure a publication deal. I haven’t even bothered trying to do this in four years, when I spent six months contacting literary agents and ended up with nothing to show for it but seventy some-odd rejections, all but one of them a form letter. So I figure this time I’ve got a shot – I have a real-deal publication history, I have a manuscript that meets the industry standards in terms of things like length, and I have a story that’s definitely marketable.
So I’ve been at it for a month, and I’ve picked up fifteen rejections, every single one of them a form letter. I fucking love the publishing industry.
Andrew, good luck with it. I’ve been through the process a few times now (academic market) and it is never easy. If you don’t mind a piece of advice, I took a workshop on writing book prospectuses and it was the best money I ever spent in support of my writing. It helped me get past the idea that I was brilliant and just needed to explain my genius ideas to the world for them to throw money at me, and recognize that they are more like a resume you send out to publishers and seeing that you had the presence of mind to figure out (and have the humility to submit yourself to the process of) how to prepare one properly was one way they judge if you would be a worthwhile author to work with.
Durr, me no write clearly today. I blame it on Fitzy in the other thread!
But don’t worry about those form letters. Most of the best writers (and those with many published works to their name) have huge piles of them. Some people *cough* like me *cough* have whole binders full of them, including a few from the same person at the same publisher before eventually publishing with them!
Thanks! I’ll have to take that all into account if they offer me a position. Like I said, I have a lot of reservations about moving to Texas. I’m not surprised at the racism. I’m as white as can be but being around that would be infuriating. Sigh.
Don’t let my scathing review stop you, and if you have any questions, ask away.
Update on Magpie’s heart. I’m going to Sydney to have an “electrophysiology study and ablation”, which will fix the problem forever. Yay! 48 hours from now, I should be on the table.
My ex-husband very kindly agreed to come with me – I was nervous about being alone overnight afterwards, in case something went wrong. We travel down after work tomorrow, have the procedure on Tuesday, and if all goes well, travel back on Wednesday. If I have to stay at the hospital overnight we come back Thursday because the train leaves too early.
No problem, hellkell. If the offer is decent enough, I’ll probably take it. I’m kind of a recluse, so I tend not to go out and socialize too much. It’s just good to know what the city is like. I’d hope it wouldn’t be that much worse than the conservative, Midwestern city I live in now. But still, Texas, you know? :/
Hope nobody thinks I’m arrogant posting to everybody, and that nobody minds all the pics.
@Nova, I’m so sorry to hear how horrible things have been for you. And I’m extra glad to hear things are settling down a little bit now. Hope you and the furries will accept this hug (if you’d like it):
http://i.imgur.com/5b4mnm1.png
And this:
http://i.imgur.com/uSHh60a.png
@damselindetech. Yay you, so glad things are looking up. This makes me smile:
http://i.imgur.com/RkSVNrJ.png
@bluecat, things must have been really tough but I’m so glad the scan went well. I’m no use on the wig front I’m afraid. However, I can provide you with a bulldog in a wig:
http://i.imgur.com/XfyBVpq.png
And a medieval kitty:
http://i.imgur.com/zPljbNs.pngk
@BreakFastman
Sorry things aren’t going well.
Mr M played the beta, he says, and I quote “Titanfall is awesome, they absolutely nailed it.”
@LBT, mental illness sucks so much and I’m sorry things aren’t good at the moment.
I’d also add to what theladyzombie said and say, anaemia is also something to check for. Hope things pick up soon and that these make you smile:
http://i.imgur.com/IdOMuID.png
http://i.imgur.com/TxtYhJo.png
@Andrew Johnston, good luck. 🙂
@Magpie
I’m so glad that this will solve the problem, although I’m sorry it’s scary.
It’ll be over before you know it, you’re awesome.
http://i.imgur.com/Iqg8t1v.png
http://i.imgur.com/fI2VbMJ.png
Best wishes for your upcoming procedure, Magpie.
Blue cat:
I’m so sorry you’ve been so ill and I know that the treatment isn’t pleasant either. I’m really happy that the scans didn’t show any secondaries, though!
I was diagnosed with cancer about three years ago and my treatment finished about twelve months ago and all the evidence so far is that it won’t be back. I hope it works out for you, too. Please let me know if there’s anything at all that I can do to help. A friendly person to talk to online can be helpful if your awake at 3am the night after chemotherapy. I speak from experience here.
I have an abundance of internet hugs here for you if you’d like them…
Pip
Good luck to all those needing it and congrats to all those with good news!
Mr K and I had a nice day out yesterday. I’d intended to go to the park and do heaps of knitting and he’d intended to use my leg as a pillow and snooze, like last time. But after about an hour my legs and back were getting stiff – bloody park benches! – so we headed to my favourite knitting shop instead. It’s a four-kilometre walk, which is the longest I’ve done in months. The knee was a bit sore by the end and is still today, but it’s really good to be able to do a long walk again.
I was a bit sorry to see that the shop Louis and Lady isn’t there anymore. Don’t know if they’ve moved or gone out of business. Not that I ever wanted to buy any of their stuff, it wasn’t my style at all, but the name, the name! 🙂
Andrew, what is your book about?
ladyzombie: One thing I forgot in my rant is allergies. You might not have them where you are, but you will have them here; if you do have them where you live, they will be ten times worse. There’s mold, elm, ash, oak, and the Queen Mother of them all, cedar. Cedar fever is a real, awful thing, and what makes it even worse is that you can go four years like I did and never have a problem, then BOOM! You are a sick, snotty, miserable mess until that shit blows away or gets rained on.
If I don’t take a Zyrtec every day, not only am I a sneezy mess daily, I will break out into a full-body itch. I know people who have been told by allergists that if they want to be allergy-free, move.
Healthy vibes and virtual fluffy snuggles to all! (I’m babysitting my aunt and uncle’s dog at the moment so I can offer love from an elderly kitty, two labradors and a miniature schnauzer.)
My poor mother has been diagnosed with cancer now. She started wheezing in the hospital, they found a mass above her lung, and now we’re waiting to hear back about radiotherapy. After the stroke she’s way too weak for chemo. Her mental state was bad enough as it is, and she’s a nervous wreck these days. She’s rapidly losing strength; part of it is probably oxygen deprivation and part of it is mental — she freaks out quite often about falling out of her chair or bed or whatever, so she’s becoming more and more immobile. She’s in a rest home where 99% of the staff are wonderful people, but she’s always trying to get me to take her home and claims she’ll be miraculously cured once she’s there.
I’m not coping too well — the house is a mess, blah blah blah — and sometimes feel like friends/family are judging me for it. I’d like to tell them they should fucking help out more if they think I’m doing it wrong but don’t want to antagonise anyone. I do have some great support but a lot of people don’t understand depression (which is pretty much my baseline state) and how it can compound situational stress and make you do stupid stupid things.
Oh well. You know how sometimes you know you need therapy but you just can’t face talking to yet another stranger about your most intimate thoughts? I’ve started seeing a personal trainer instead, and sometimes it seems the gym is the only thing keeping me going. The endorphin high is keeping me off recreational drugs and my trainer is good to talk to. I sometimes feel sad that I have to pay a guy $25 an hour to be my friend but I am getting some great muscles out of it!
To end on a pleasant note, my old cat Abby is following the precedent set by many before her, including my avatar Maggie, and becoming super cuddly in her old age. When I leave the dogs to sleep on their outside beds because it’s too hot, I wake up with a fluffy hot water bottle under the covers anyway. Now I just have to convince the dogs it’s not cool to bark hello at her and chase her. All they do when they catch her is sniff her bum and watch her run away so they’re probably trying to be friendly in their big dunderheaded way but she is not impressed. Wish it were easier to pack them all up and take them to visit Mum (that’s another thing I’m getting wrong, of course!)
@maggiesausage
Sorry to hear about your mother.
I just wanted to share this super important article for sex worker rights. In New Zealand sex work is decriminised. So sex workers have basic workplace rights. And this means they can’t be treated like shit. Yay human rights! http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/sex-worker-wins-harassment-case-5854800
Yay NZ!
I read ‘decriminised’ as ‘decriminied’ and wondered for a moment if it was the opposite of reintarnation.
Welp, I decorated my crutches with rainbows and flames. I figured if I’m going to be using them, I might as well try and make them like fashionable accessories rather than just heavy appliances that I have to lug around.
RE: theladyzombie
I don’t live there anymore, but I lived in Austin for nigh twenty years prior. I’d be happy to point you at cool things locally! Restaurants, theatres, stuff like that. Yes, it is racist as fuck, but there are queer and trans groups around and other stuff, depending on your tastes.
LBT, forgive me for being intrusive, but have you ever been tested for vitamins B and D deficiencies?
Yup. They’ve taken my blood a hojillion times, and apparently nothing is amiss. I had a D deficiency, but that was common in Boston in winter, and I’m pretty sure I don’t have one now. Also, I’m taking vitamins daily. I haven’t had my blood taken in a while, but seeing the number of times they’ve checked it, I don’t have high hopes.
Then again, my body must be fuckin’ impenetrable or something. Back in college, I was yellow and downright emaciated, and my blood claimed I was fine then too, which is how I got away with being so starvy for so long — the doctors kept seeing me as fine! I don’t know what the fuck my problem is, but apparently I’m just a medical black box or something.
RE: opheliamonarch
@LBT, mental illness sucks so much and I’m sorry things aren’t good at the moment.
Enh, things are better now than they’ve been in years. I think that’s part of why I’m so… disappointed. I really hoped once I had stable housing and wasn’t scared all the time that I wouldn’t do this anymore. I mean, if it’s all in my head, surely once the stress is gone, the collapses will stop too, right? Except apparently not.
Shorter dad on the phone today: “I’m sorry I act crazy all the time and get angry for not being able to talk to you on the phone. I’m always going to be like this even when all three of you are in your 60s. I will always worry and care about you.”
@bluecat
I totally understand the hair issue. I have alopecia areata. Wigs are great! The ones I looked at were over a thousand bucks and I couldn’t afford. I highly recommend using your real hair. You can still curl it and such. Good luck and much love.
@breakfastman
I haven’t read the prior thread but I hope you are doing better. Unfortunately, money is necessary. Oh, and I love Oingo Boingo! Thx for the vid!
AFAIK the component in diet soda is like nutrasweet and it’s a carcinogen. When it first came out in the 80’s we tried feeding it to our golden retriever. She turned her nose up at it and so my parents never had it in the house. It was our ‘test’. lol
@LBT: it sounds like fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. That’s a real medical issue. It’s not in your head at all. The problem is nobody knows why or how it starts. Sometimes, as in my case, it began with a spinal injury.
@maggie
many hugs 4u and your mum
To clarify: “crazy” was his word choice, not mine.
“I’m sorry I act crazy all the time and get angry for not being able to talk to you on the phone. I’m always going to be like this even when all three of you are in your 60s. I will always worry and care about you.”
Translation: “I’m sorry I hurt you all the goddamn time, but I’m never going to stop, no matter how old you get, because this is what I consider an expression of care: threatening to hurt you, threatening to hurt your family members, stalking you across the country. This is what I will do. Forever.”
my personal update:
Things are good. I have fibromyalgia and CFS for many years since I fell 30 feet down a rock face on a mountain bike. Injured my internal organs, spine. lost feelling in legs. nerve damage. 3 surgeries.
last year has been horrible since it’s a degenerative condition. then i had my accident abt. 3 weeks ago. which is here. http://mancheeze.wordpress.com/2014/02/08/had-a-major-accident-taking-a-small-leave/
I called home care (in Canada we have this for ppl with acute and long term injuries). The last 3 weeks have been tough. Ppl in and out of my place, nurses, workers, physio.
I’m finally accepting the fact I need help cuz I’m incredibly independent. Still dealing w/ it mentally but ppl who come in to help are wonderful. Took my first little walk yesterday in high heel sandals (physio recommended it, long story) hurt SO BAD when i got home. will start going 2 aquatic therapy.
Very glad I live in Canada b/c I’m a citizen of both USA and Can. I can’t imagine having these probs in the States.
I’m adding koala cuddles to cloudiah’s bucket for everyone who needs them.
Hugs and/or kind thoughts to everyone who needs/wants them.
Re decriminalisation of sex work in NZ, I wished it had gone further and been legalised. I view sex work as another occupation, so workers should have all the protections available to them.