Another open thread for personal stuff, continuing from here.
As usual for these threads: no trolls, no arguments, supportive comments only!
Categories
We Hunted The MammothBucking the Backlash
We Hunted The Mammoth
Oh LBT, so sad to hear that. All the hugs you want…
Hugs @LBT.
So sorry, LBT. I hope your aunt and brother understand that you need to show your respect for your cousin in the way that’s right for you.
@LBT, So sorry. The sudden death of a healthy, young person is always a huge kick in the ass. I like your idea of paying your respects in some other way. In the past, there have been a few funerals I wanted to attend but couldn’t for whatever reason, and I found it comforting to write a letter to surviving relatives expressing condolences but also sharing some of my memories of the person. (And apparently the recipients also found those letters a comfort.)
Just tossing that out there as another idea. I’m sure whatever you do will be the right thing, though!
RE: cloudiah
I found it comforting to write a letter to surviving relatives expressing condolences but also sharing some of my memories of the person.
That’s also a nice idea. I will keep it in mind.
I’m worried sick right now. One of our cats is missing, and it’s nearly 10:30 PM. There are coyotes and raccoons that regularly walk around at night and they have been known to kill some of the animals on our farm. (In fact, just recently our two remaining chickens were eaten by raccoons.) I hope the kitty is safe. He’s one of the sweetest farm cats I have ever met. And his companion is worried sick as well. She keeps meowing because she’s not used to him being gone at this time of the night.
Missing cats suck. I hope he turns up soon, safe and unharmed.
Farm cats have it rough. I had an uncle in South Dakota who had a farm, and those cats did not have an easy life — even though he probably cared about them more than most farmers.
Oh, Ally. I will keep a good thought going for your feline friend. Farm cats are usually pretty scrappy survivors. I hope kitty walks in your door in just a few minutes.
My brother and my step-dad tried looking for an hour and they couldn’t find him. 🙁 Hopefully he’ll return tomorrow morning. I remember him when he was a kitten – he was so time that I could hold him in one hand.
Hope your kitty comes back soon, Ally.
Yay! He was found this morning.
Meanwhile, I just found out that my dad knows I’m seeing a therapist, and has offered to pay for it. Ugh, whoever told him about my therapist has seriously breached my privacy. Maybe I’m overreacting, but I just wish he didn’t know anything. Now he’s probably hoping that my therapist “cures” me, if you know what I mean.
Yay for finding kitties. Boo for your dad still being controlling.
I am SO happy that your kitty is safe.
About the breach – I hear you. Definitely not a cool or compassionate thing to do. But, since he knows, is it possible that his desire to pay for it may be a way of reaching out to you? Not that that makes the breach okay.
In the end, Ally, it is up to you whether or not you allow him to pay. If it makes you even a little bit uncomfortable, do not allow it. You can graciously refuse and you have the right to do so.
My deepest condolences LBT.
Apparently it was my brother who told my dad about the therapy. I forgive him, but I’m still annoyed.
I’m especially bothered by the conversation I had last night with my mom and my brother. They kept asking me “What if you regret transitioning?” and “Are you sure that there isn’t some other way to cure your dysphoria?” and “How do you expect us to trust you?” I know they mean well, but that conversation was very upsetting and hurt me in ways that they can’t possibly realize. When I tried to point out to my brother that his perspective was biased as a cis person, he accused me of also being biased for being trans and then accused me of being a special snowflake when I said that dysphoria isn’t equivalent to self-loathing, body dysmorphia, etc.
I just feel like shit today because of that conversation. My dysphoria is gotten much worse as a result.
I’m going to cross-post this, since it’s more suited to a personal thread anyway. Forgive me if it’s unnecessary.
Ugh. I’ve been like that for a few days, thanks to the recent poll on rape in my country, that estimates that as much as 65% of people here believe women who wear short clothes deserve to be raped.
I’m a man, and this fills me with abject horror. I think of my cousin. She’s a pretty girl; the results of that poll mean that two in every three people she meets thinks she deserves to be raped by the crime of existing. And if, perish the thought, something happens to her, my own mother would be the first to heap condemnation.
I think this is the best place to post about this.
So next Monday is the one year anniversary of Rehteah Parsons’ suicide. In her memory, /r/againstmensrights is doing a small charity drive.
Here’s the thread. If anyone on Manboobz can donate, please consider it!
Link is busted, Alice. Try again?
Link: http://www.reddit.com/r/againstmensrights/comments/2223te/in_memory_of_rehteah_parsons_amr_will_like_to/
I finally got my CV done, or at least a draft of it – thanks for the google docs info, cloudiah. Made it much easier.
I also finished my multicoloured knitted skirt last night. No pics yet, I’ll upload them at home, since email doesn’t work on my stupid phone. Or, this being Telstra, that should probably be “stupid email doesn’t work on my phone”.
Yay for CVs! Let me know if you want another eye to review. And extra yay for multicolored skirts!
I will, cloudiah! I’ll need to do more work on it first. I can’t even remember the name of the company where I worked before here! 😛
first photo of the striped skirt
I may have to return to the Bay Area as soon as my brother gets a place in Santa Cruz (which is very soon because he has enough for a deposit), I get the letter of recommendation from my therapist, and the rest of the family learns about my transness. I’ll be staying with my brother, not my dad, but I fear that a lot may go wrong anyway given the close distance and the presumption that I don’t have any aversion to meeting with abusive family members.
If I do go, I’ll try my best to protect myself from abusive family members, and I have friends who are willing to let me stay at their place temporarily in the Bay Area in case things get uglier than expected. And despite all of the potential shitstorms and the possibility of facing pressure to not transition, I will try my best to access hormones in California and finally begin my medical transition. I really hope I won’t have to go back, but other plans are starting to look more and more unfeasible. I can’t even try to move to Washington because I lack resources I need to move. My only hope of not going to California lies in my sister’s BF being okay with me staying at my sister’s apartment frequently. And even that is likely unfeasible because eventually I’ll probably be asked to get a job (which isn’t unfair to me), and I can’t easily get a job if I have no idea how long I’m even going to stay in Colorado. Staying at my mom’s place is
Another thing I’ll add regarding getting a job in California is that most jobs not in my field of expertise require a high school diploma, and all I have is a certificate that is the legal equivalent of a HS diploma in California only. By contrast, my job opportunities are much greater in California.
I just hope things work out soon. I’m scared.
I can’t even find any damn jobs in Colorado when I try looking for them. They either have requirements I can’t possibly meet on time (like having 3+ years of prior experience in the field) or require me to work too far from the house. On top of that, most of the jobs seem to be in Denver, which is at least an hour away from here. :{