Open Thread for Personal Stuff: March 2014 Flying Cat Edition

Oh, and a wall of poorly executed but colorful water colors. The cheap 50 cent ones.

I have a Haitian vodou flag, a papel picado of a skeleton woman cooking, a bunch of Brazilian woodcuts, and some of my own crappy art.

Nearly all of my art has something to do with water. I have two fish rubbings (from an angelfish that died of natural causes and a plastic fish from my son’s art class) a fish fossil, tiny watercolors of the beach where I grew up, a photo I took at Galveston’s Pier 19, and an abstract print of a wave.

[Content note: suicide]

Apparently my brother outed me to another uncle while I was still with katz (I’m okay with it though because my uncle was worried and actually thought I was about to kill myself where no one can find me). My uncle knows that I’m afraid of my dad, and he seems to understand what I’m going through. I just wish I could process this all without going back to a self-loathing mindset. *sigh* >_>

Ally: I don’t have much energy left, but with the last of it, I want to remind you how incredible of a person you are. I can’t imagine what you’re going through or what it’s like to be living in the wrong body, but I so admire your strength. I second the notion that you should not go anywhere near your father ever. Having lived with an abuser for a long time, both as a child and an adult, the moment he gets even a tiny grasp on you, he will turn it into a stranglehold. I know that you can do this without his help and I sincerely hope that you’re not waiting for his approval to transition. You’re an adult, this is your choice and your body. He has no say in it. My mother would second what Samantha said to you. You owe him nothing, but you owe yourself the world. Because, after all you’ve been through and how brave you are to face what lies ahead, you deserve the world and then some.

Now I’m really going to bed.

Fair warning: This is a LONG RANT! And, while I use the words “religion” and “religious,” I am not pointing a finger at any particular religion – only to the aspects of most religions that are not friendly toward women.

I am raging right now. I have been thinking back over the years and looking at what the mra-
challenged are saying and trying to do now, and I am livid. For most of my life, I have heard all
of the variations on “Women are the cause of everything that goes wrong.” I am sick of the
notions that a) everything would be great, if only women would shut up/go home/do not see or
question/obey our rightful masters and b) somehow, it is “Natures law that women are
subservient and obedient to men, and that men are ever so much more intelligent/creative/honorable/honest than women.”

Allow me to ask…If it were so “natural” for women to be what the mra-types say, then WHY
THE HELL DO MEN HAVE TO BEAT US, MAKE LAWS THAT DENY OUR HUMANITY, and CREATE
RELIGIOUS JUSTIFICATIONS for our supposed “inferiority?” You would think that if it was so
natural for us to be subhuman, and unnatural for us to try to be more, they would not have to
work so damned hard to keep us “in our place.”

Point #1 – You scream and whine about how unfair it is that so many men die in war. Well,
buddy boys, get a freaking grip. YOU start the wars, contrary to your asinine assertions that
women are the ones “making you do it.” YOU keep women out of the fighting, even when
there are women willing to stand and fight with you. YOU slaughter millions of civilians,
calling it “collateral damage.” YOU obey the orders, given by others of YOU, to kill and die for whatever purpose you are given. Stay with me, now – if you do not want to die in war, DO NOT
START THEM!!!! DO NOT OBEY!!!!

Oh, and contrary to what you say in your little whining hissy fits, the majority of people who
die in wars are those very same civilians, most of whom are women and children. Consider
Iraq. Your military types thought it a spiffy idea to use spent uranium in their shell casings. As
a result, the southern half of Iraq is now, and will be for many, MANY years to come, covered
in fine uranium dust. It cannot be cleaned up and a VERY high percentage of babies born
there now are either born dead or seriously damaged. And the best part is…this will continue
for at least 250,000 years. So please stop boo-hooing and pointing fingers at women as the
cause of all your “misery.” Women and children and peaceful men are the ones paying the
price for your love of making things go BOOM. Grow the hell up and take responsibility for
your own actions.

Point#2 – Blaming women for seeking child support. Give me a break. If you want to play, you
have to pay. YOU help make the child. YOU are as responsible as the mother. If you do not
want to be responsible for the outcome, KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS!!! Or, better yet, support a
woman’s right to birth control. Oh, and about those kids you do not want to pay for – stop
complaining about how moms get custody. In about 80% of divorces, parents resolve custody
issues out of court and guess what? Many fathers DO NOT WANT CUSTODY!!! They want to
get on with their lives. They usually want to see the kids and be part of the kids lives, but they
do not want anything close to full custody. GET A LIFE!! And stop blaming women for YOUR
choices!

Point#3 – Equal pay for equal work. You guys hate that, yet you seem to think that women and
their, and your, children should be able to get along nicely on the pittance you would like them
to have. And then, you have the unmitigated gaul to complain about having to pay for your
kids! Let’s think about this logically. I know, your poor brains hurt with the effort, but let’s try
anyway. If you stopped fighting women getting a fair wage for their work, you might not have
to pay so much. Personally, I think that you enjoy the idea of making women and children
suffer. I mean, how dare they get along well without you? And we can, make no mistake about
that.

Point#4 – Here we come to an issue you really hate. Violence against women, including rape,
beatings and death. Also, violence against children. YOU want us all to think that the REAL
violence is perpetrated by women, and that women lie all the time about rape and beatings. That goes against not only logic, but reality. Of course, you have never met a statistic that you could not twist to your advantage. But if you look at the REAL statistics, you will find that the real abusers are OVERWHELMINGLY you guys. And, when you cannot squirm your way out of reality, you resort to the “she made me do it” and “she deserved it” gambits. Poor, powerless little men. Bleah!

Point# 5 – Feminists control everything. If only. Let me lay it on you, man-dudes. It is my
opinion, learned with not a little pain over many years, that for the most part men have no
business running the world…or much of anything else. With all respect to good, loving and
intelligent men everywhere, the men who have been controlling things for the last six
thousand years or so have done a crappy job of it. The world is on the brink of environmental
collapse. For the most part, it was not women who created the horrible chemicals and poisons
that are everywhere. No…most of them came out of military weapons research, brought to
you by the Guys Who Find Bigger and Better Ways of Killing EVERYTHING! MEN run the
governments…MEN run most of the large, and poisonous, corporations…MEN run the
religions that tell us that god wants women to grovel and obey…MEN make most of the rules.
So, sonny boys, do NOT blame US for what YOU do.

Point# 6 – And this is the BIG one. You seem to think that you are the only real, live beings
around. The Earth, to you, is just your play and hate ground. You think that you are the
masters of it all, that anyone or anything that does not conform to your ideas and wishes
needs to be either changed or destroyed. Women? We are things to you…things to use,to
own and control, to blame, to throw away. Children? Same thing, except that you seem to
think that we should give you mostly boys, since THEY will grow up to be real. You become
enraged when women see what you are doing, see through your games and point out to you
those things you do that are wrong, evil, hurtful. You really do not like it when mommy
catches on to you. The world is NOT yours, to do with as you wish. Women and children are
NOT subservient property, to use as you wish. Nor are we going to accept the blame for what
you do.

And you really hate that. Your greatest fear is that women will one day decide that you are
not worth the effort. I, for one, would rather share one good man with other women then
have one of you to myself. Your definition of what it means to be a man belongs with the
three to five year old boys trying different roles on.

I really wish that I had a HUGE fleet of starships. I would gather up the women, the children
and the men who have shown us that they are true friends of life and I would fly us all to
another, clean, uninhabited world where we could try again, this time with women running
things and men being the charming, playful, inventive and marvelous beings that they can be.
Maybe we would do better. I know that there are and have always been women who are as
vicious and stupid as the mra-types. Fortunately, in my opinion, they are a small minority.

Better yet, I wish that all the women and good men in the world would stand up and walk out
on you and your governments, militaries, religions and corporations. I think that, together, we
could make the world a much better place. Your nightmare, my dream.

I now return you to the blog, already in progress.

Today wasn’t so bad. I left my therapist’s office feeling more confident and secure than I have in the past few weeks. Even my dysphoria wasn’t as harsh today. And on top of all of that, my therapist has told me that she is willing to write a letter of recommendation for me so I can get HRT prescriptions. I’m so excited you guys have no idea.

In fact, to be honest I’ve become more optimistic lately as well. I have a gut feeling that I’m not completely lost and that things are getting better. I just hope my gut feeling is correct – I follow my intuition very faithfully, but only for smaller matters such as “Does that dude seem like he’ll violate my boundaries?” and so on.

Loud cries of WHOOT for both of you!

::prances round in tabby leggings::

Today wasn’t so bad. I left my therapist’s office feeling more confident and secure than I have in the past few weeks. Even my dysphoria wasn’t as harsh today. And on top of all of that, my therapist has told me that she is willing to write a letter of recommendation for me so I can get HRT prescriptions. I’m so excited you guys have no idea.

Ally, that is GREAT! (doing the Happy, happy. Joy, Joy dance for Ally)

Woah, LBT. That’s… That’s pretty neat. Congrats. Talk about your art changing lives for the better 🙂

Yay for happy news!

Random thing: about a week back, I clicked on a link here to see the kitteh- and puppeh-covered canes. Once, for a couple of seconds. Now, all the ads google sends me are for canes. Kitty-canes. Puppy-canes. Fancy canes. Bright canes. Canes bedecked with glittery things. I just don’t know what to make of google.