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Red Pill Theorist: Women are like children. Except you can have sex with them.

This Morpheus dude may have a point.
This Morpheus dude may have a point.

Put on your thinking caps today, because we are going to wade into the highly rarefied world of Red Pill Theory. Our Guest Lecturer today is a totally ALPHA DOG Red Pill Redditor by the name of GayLubeOil — don’t worry, fellas, he’s straight! — who has some important insights for us all on the nature of women.

Namely, that women are basically just overgrown children. Who give blow jobs.

Let’s let him explain, in a post that’s now Number One With A Sticky in the Red Pill Subreddit.

Treating Women Like Children (self.TheRedPill) submitted 8 hours ago by Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil - stickied post One of the key tenants of Red Pill is that women act like children. There are many reasons for this. Women are not held accountable for their actions growing up, so they are completely new to the concept of accountability. If a woman sucks a dick, she tells a realy long story about how she was put in a dick sucking situation. Women don't realy believe in their own agency. That's why they often believe in cosmic forces like fate and patriarchy, because nothing they ever do is their fault. If women don't take responsibility for their actions, someone else has to. That's why we have to treat women like children. Obviously, some woman is going to read this have a cascade of feels and then deal with said feels in the most immature way possible.  While Red Pill theory has definitely harsh view of women, the practical application isn't as anti-social as our detractors believe.  One of the things that children suck at, is regulating their internal state. They're too little to know if their hungry, sleepy or if they need to go for a walk. When a child throws a tantrum its often not about the toy, there is often some underlying issue you need to take care of.  As stupid as its sounds you can completely avoid a lot of arguments by ignoring everything she says and going for the underlying problem. I cant believe you never told me that you X! Aww is she hungry. She gets this way when shes hungry. Then just feed her some Greek yogurt or something, and the problem will go away. Or just take her for a walk around the block, because shes just anxious from being at work the entire day.  Red Pill holds that male leadership is the cornerstone of a good relationship. Sometimes that means treating her like a child.

After reading all of that, you may have a few questions. Obviously, the most important question is: why Greek Yogurt? Well, in addition to being very popular with the ladies, it is apparently quite high in iron. Let’s let Professor LubeOil explain why that’s so crucial:

GayLubeOil[S] 44 points 7 hours ago* The reason I used Greek Yogurt as an example is that its high in Iron. A surprising number of women are anemic which means they bruise easily. Its obviusly not your fault that she cant get enough nutrients into her body. However You don't want to be seen walking around with a bruised woman. Which is why GayLubeOil recommends feeding your anemic woman Greek Yogurt mixed with pomegranate so you don't look like an abusive asshole. If you are an abusive asshole yogurt and pomegranate will not fix or prevent hemotoma. Sorry abusive assholes.  permalinkparentgive gold [–]Knoxhon_ 8 points 5 hours ago Sorry abusive assholes.  lmfao
Well, with that critical issue taken care of in a totally not creepy or red-flaggy kind of way, let’s move on to some of the serious discussion Professsor LubeOil’s thesis inspired in the Red Pill Subreddit.

Ah, who am I kidding? They mainly just posted comments about how totally right he was and how women totally are a bunch of overgrown children. But saying women are children is totes not misogyny!

Usherai 39 points 7 hours ago For all the accusations of misogyny thrown at TRP, I don't think most guys, even here, go far enough. Women are exactly like children in that without strong male leadership they will ruin themselves by being slaves to their emotions and short-sightedness. Their inability to take responsibility for themselves means that men need to be the ones directing, influencing, and manipulating their emotions into beneficial behaviors and pursuits.  This means that the mindset RP men should have in their relationships with women is one of complete and utter superiority. Your analysis and suggestions are pretty spot on.
And, heck, even if a dude maybe is a teensy bit of a misogynist, what’s the big deal, so long as it convinces him to treat his women properly — that is, like you would treat special needs children.

GayLubeOil[S] 41 points 7 hours ago Even if someone is a blatant misogynist and thinks women are completely inferior to men, that doesn't necessarily translate into him treating women poorly. Lets say you had a special needs child . The kids obviously intellectually inferior, to you and his peers. You knowing this doesn't make you an asshole. Knowing this and admitting this is the first step in being a good parent for this kid. Yea maybe you have to wipe his mouth after he eats or pick up after him a bit more. But pretending that he is a totally normal kid is going to make you a shittier parent than admitting the truth. That's why you should do what men have done for most of human history:treat women like women instead of pretending that they are men with breasts.  permalinkparentgive gold [–]Knoxhon_ 14 points 5 hours ago misogyny isn't about superior/inferior. it's about a hatred of women as a group. this is a common misconception.  permalinkparentgive gold [–]Endorsed ContributorDemonspawn 13 points 4 hours ago But so much of the population has equality disease: thinking someone isn't equal must be coming from hate... because they are equal, don'tchaknow!

Damn those feminazis and their “equality!” Why, it’s almost un-American!

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Alice Sanguinaria
6 years ago

Did anyone else read the title and think “HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT THAT IS CREEPY AS FUCKING HELL EW EW EW EW EW EW EW”?

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
6 years ago

No, this makes perfect sense. This is just another example of some misogynist not able to tell the difference between his girlfriend and his dog.

He says that women “don’t know if their* hungry, sleepy or if they need to go for a walk.” Dude, you walk a puppy, women and even quite young children know to go to the potty when they need to.

(*Paging DDW, DDW to the white courtesy phone for a grammar check!)

tinyorc
6 years ago

If a woman sucks a dick, she tells a realy [sic] long story about how she was put in a dick sucking situation.

Last week, I sucked a dick. I did this because I wanted to and the owner of the dick in question wanted me to and everyone had a lovely time.

Where do I hand in my woman card?

Lady Mondegreen
6 years ago

Patriarchy is a cosmic force, like fate…whoah, duuude! Deep.

(No, I know what he meant. Patriarchy has nothing to do with perceiving women as inferior and treating them like children; it’s just something women made up when they were hungry.) 🙂

2020
2020
6 years ago

In the most recent cracked.com podcast Jason Pargin (David Wong) gave a spirited defence of The Matrix and why it should have won best picture at the 1998 Oscars he says that the whole take the red pill thing that these freaks like MRA’s bastardise is actually a metaphor for saying we are more than what society says we are that every man woman and child regardless of gender, race or sexuality does not have to be constrained that we can all forge our own path, that is no obstetrical we can not overcome.

That these assholes have taken that wonderful message and tortured it into some fucked up defence of patriarchy and misogyny is disgusting quite frankly.

http://www.cracked.com/podcast/dumb-movies-theyll-study-in-future-history-classes/ If anyone wants to listen to it here it is although you’ll have to skip to 41:24 but its worth it.

moldybrehd
6 years ago

The concept of ‘cosmic patriarchy’ was my favourite bit too!

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

If Greek yogurt did fuckall for anemia, I’d be all up in it. It doesn’t, and Chobani tastes like library paste.

These guys really don’t see any irony about calling women children while ranting, do they?

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Paging DDW, DDW to the white courtesy phone for a grammar check!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

GayLubeOil does not know the difference between ‘their’ and ‘they’re.’ He also does not know where to put apostrophes. Somebody who doesn’t understanding grammar school level punctuation and spelling is in no position to determine who should be treated like a child.

Is this critique DDW approved? Please advise.

HeatherN
6 years ago

“I’m not a misogynist…I just think that women are all irresponsible children.”

RedPill in a nutshell.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Oops. I just peed my pants. If only I had a man nearby to tell me that pressure in my tummy area meant I needed to use the bathroom this never would’ve happened.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Shorter creeper – I want a girlfriend who’s half puppy and half toddler. No, this doesn’t say anything negative about me, why would you think that?

tinyorc
6 years ago

One of the key tenants of Red Pill […]

Adorable.

How much is Red Pill rent then?

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
6 years ago

tinyorc, you wouldn’t want to live there. The view is horrible and the whole place smells of stale cabbage and BO. No matter what floor you are on, its always the basement, and the tenants upstairs like to dance to polka of an evening.

leatapp
leatapp
6 years ago

I’m constantly baffled that these guys think they are intellectually superior to others when it is so obvious that they aren’t remotely competent. Seriously, how hard is it to fact check the iron content of Greek yogurt?

Mklein
Mklein
6 years ago

And “special needs children” are a monolithic group who all have intellectual disabilities.
And intellectual disability is being framed here in terms of being “inferior” at something.
I don’t know why I was surprised – these people can’t even treat neurotypical women like human beings, let alone disabled women/people.

Also, I really feel like iron deficiency doesn’t work that way, but I don’t have the medical knowledge to refute it.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Well, I mean, if he suggested giving her a burger she might get fat, and that would be the worst thing ever. Far better to offer her fat-free, franken-sweetened ladyfood.

leatapp
leatapp
6 years ago

…and how do I tell the sexual orientation of my lube? They don’t print that information on the bottles.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Also, I really feel like iron deficiency doesn’t work that way, but I don’t have the medical knowledge to refute it.

It doesn’t. There are a few types of anemia and varying causes for them.

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
6 years ago

@Lady Mondegreen

(No, I know what he meant. Patriarchy has nothing to do with perceiving women as inferior and treating them like children; it’s just something women made up when they were hungry.)

This! They can’t seem to make up their minds between “Patriarchy: best thing ever” and “Patriarchy: non-existent.”

It’s almost like they don’t even know what the word means, and base their statements and actions solely on their strong feelings about it.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

I bruise absurdly easily. I do not have anemia. I’ve had my blood checked. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just a genetic thing. My mom bruises easily too.

tinyorc
6 years ago

cassandrakitty:

Far better to offer her fat-free, franken-sweetened ladyfood.

Ladies can’t poop without yoghurt. It is known.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Very first sentence: one of the key TENETS of the Red Pillers is that they don’t know one word from another.

Haven’t even bothered with the rest of it yet, except to say that I don’t tell long stories about any sexual things I do, and that they’re all done by my choice and with mutual pleasure involved.

These guys are such losers.

BabyLawyer
BabyLawyer
6 years ago
theladyzombie
6 years ago

Right. I want a reality tv show where these assholes have to read out their own shitty comments on camera.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

You just gave me a great idea. I want a show where a woman finds the mothers of these guys and reads this crap to them. And then mom’s reaction is played back to the guys who said the shitty misogynistic things.

Even your own mothers wouldn’t like you if they knew what you were really like, guys.

kittehserf
6 years ago

I bruise absurdly easily. I do not have anemia. I’ve had my blood checked. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just a genetic thing. My mom bruises easily too.

Same with my mum and me! Much more noticeable as we get older, too.

tinyorc
6 years ago

theladyzombie, that would be so good! The audience should be made up entirely of their mothers and grandmothers.

freemage
freemage
6 years ago

This is so astoundingly inane. I don’t even… I’m’a go lie down a bit.

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
6 years ago

Right. I want a reality tv show where these assholes have to read out their own shitty comments on camera.

Yes. Because AWESOME!

http://xkcd.com/481/

theladyzombie
6 years ago

Hee! Granted, I’m sure a few of them would be proud to do it and then wonder, wide-eyed and shocked, why they are getting boo’d.

BreakfastMan
BreakfastMan
6 years ago

I just can’t even… I seriously think I threw up in my mouth a little reading this. D:

Gah, I need to listen to some power-violence to help work through all this anger… RedPill, fuck you, you little shits. Fuck all of you.

leatapp
leatapp
6 years ago

I can imagine a skit in which women actually say and do the things these guys claim that they routinely do, like tell long tedious meandering stories about fellatio, while simultaneously acting as if they had no agency in the matter. Can you imagine? As soon as any story started to go on a little too long, we’d all think to ourselves, “Oh, no. I hope this isn’t another cock sucking story. Those go on forever!”

Viscaria
Viscaria
6 years ago

I want to be all “if you think women have the emotional sophistication of children, then you obviously shouldn’t be sleeping with them you creepy fucker” but then I remember how many of these dudes are completely okay with or even in favour of grown men having sex with teenage girls, so the horrifying pedophilic overtones of this aren’t going to cause them any sort of distress.

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
6 years ago

But so much of the population has equality disease: thinking someone isn’t equal must becoming from hate… because they are/ equal, dontchaknow!

Well, aside from being empirically wrong about the capacities of women as a group, they’re conceptually confused about what “equality” means. Political and moral equality is not the same thing as saying everyone is exactly as good as everyone else at everything. “Equality” in this sense means that everyone has intrinsic value, is worthy of ethical consideration, has a certain sort of dignity, and is the holder of certain rights which limit the ways other people can treat them–regardless of how smart/strong, etc. they are.

For TRP, it seems like people’s moral worth and rights correspond to their ‘superiority’. It’s pretty disturbing that they seem to disagree that all people are equally valuable in a moral sense because, as David pointed out, this is the basic foundation of our (western liberal democracies) social and political order.

So, in the words of a great philosopher:

kittehserf
6 years ago

Viscaria – yeah, I was slightly surprised they even tried distinguishing between women being the ones you have sex with and children not.

Binjabreel
Binjabreel
6 years ago

Holy shit, this is straight up repackaged Freudian “women never get over penis envy and so never become adults”.

Also , in my experience anemia mostly just leads to ice chewing.

And “no matter what obstetrics are put in the path” made me laugh inappropriately loud, because I’m in the hospital cafeteria after my son was born! 50+ hours of labor that ended in a c-section. My girlfriend is a goddamned Viking warrior; I bet these red pill fucks couldn’t handle twenty minutes of what she went through.

Lady Ballsnip
Lady Ballsnip
6 years ago

Ooohhhh- They *explained* me! I was just wondering why the hell my emotions made me do everything in life wrong, why I am so completely irrational and why I’m too un-intelligent to even count to 100! I just need a strong man/owner. A bitch without a leash is like an MGHOW without porn.

Viscaria
Viscaria
6 years ago

Yay new babby!

Luzbelitx
6 years ago

If a woman sucks a dick, she tells a realy [sic] long story about how she was put in a dick sucking situation.
Possible translation #1: “Women suck dick and then cry rape”
Possible translation #2: “Women I didn’t allow to refuse to suck my dick called me out on it”
Possible translation #3: “Women telling how they were raped are actually making something up to pretend they’re not responsible.”

Or all of the above.

Luzbelitx
6 years ago

Ooooh, so THAT’s the (inf)famous monster, right?

titianblue
titianblue
6 years ago

Oh, FFS, anaemia does not make you bruise easily. Anaemia makes you tired, lethargic & short of breath. Because lack of iron means reduced ability of your blood to carry oxygen. Doesn’t stop it clotting.

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
6 years ago

Congratulations, Binjabreel! Babbies are awesome! Best wishes to you and your girlfriend!

Ally S
6 years ago

If a woman sucks a dick, she tells a realy [sic] long story about how she was put in a dick sucking situation.

A few years ago I stubbed my toe on a fridge. I went to the pharmacy to get some bandages because I had managed to cut my toe, but standing outside the pharmacy was GirlWritesWhat, who was handing out MRE phamplets and lecturing people about why women are sheeple. She saw me and I was petrified due to the fear of hearing her repeat another MRA talking point about male disposability, so I ran to the other side of town to visit a grocery store that sold bandages. I found the bandages and some cigarettes as well, but the cashier was Dean Esmay. He checked my ID and once he learned that I was 19, past the legal age, he began to tell me about how my brain was full of mush and that I should just learn how to treat wounds without bandages somehow. I stared at him blankly and then ran out of the store after my purchase. Finally I reached home and then had oral sex with my cis male partner.

I’m blameless, I tell you! I hope everyone believes me…my female brain compels me to make elaborate stories in order to explain why I have sex. I can’t help it.

Viscaria
Viscaria
6 years ago

If you click the link to get to know “trudatness,” contender for Supportive, Caring Husband of the Year. On his wife relaying her experiences with sexism in the workplace:

My wife deals with million dollar accounts and is leaned on heavily by super ultra serious business men for information that is imperative for formulating their business intelligence. She really is a brilliant woman and there is no doubt I am better for knowing her.

Having said all that, she constantly has to combat emotion in order to continue to make rational choices when dealing with clients. Early on in our relationship she was constantly saying Because I’m a woman… this and Because I’m a woman… that.

His advice:

I told her she had to shed this victim complex. But it’s not faa-iir! She told me.

Also this:

I remember speaking with her that night. Basically I told her what the man’s personal opinion was of women was non-consequential. If he’s sexist shitbag – who cares? You smile and work the account.

Apparently now he’s taught her the right way of things, and she can “bounce ideas off of him” which has allowed her to be successful. What a condescending scumbag.

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
6 years ago

David! How are you doing?! Nice to see that you felt up to making a post!

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
6 years ago

Ugh, does that sound condescending? I mean that every migraine I have ever had has me cowering under my covers in the darkness, so seeing you posting makes me glad that hopefully your migraine is passing/gone!

titianblue
titianblue
6 years ago

Of course, easy bruising can be associated with vitamin C deficiency which can also cause anaemia. So pomegranates would be good for that. As for the yoghurt – I got nothing.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

I hate yogurt. Am I womaning wrong? I do love chocolate. Hopefully that makes up for it.

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