And that is just the beginning of a wondrous little exchange between a self-described “nice guy” trying out some bad boy charm on a not-very receptive woman on OkCupid who nonetheless deals with his ridiculous assholery with aplomb.
Note to “nice guy.” You might want to reconsider some of your assumptions. And work on your typing.
I found this on the endlessly fascinating, if often deeply disturbing, CreepyPMs subreddit, one of Reddit’s few redeeming features. You can read the rest of the conversation here, and the CreepyPM post here.
I keep trying and treant but I can’t just match you people twig for twig! If only I was any good at prunning, then I too could communicate in fun puns. Alas, I just Kant seem to get the right kind of category for my words.
For stamen
For stamen
Oh, she gave that creep the serve they should all get!
I see the dudebros are whining about how nasty she was and how women “assume guys want to get into their pants”. Yeah, I’ll believe these creeps don’t when they harass men exactly the way they do women.
You Kant make puns, Fibinachi? Maybe I should give you Immanuel so you can learn how to make great puns.
RE: Bina
Urrrgh. I’ve had to deal with a fair few guys like that in my time. Being trans doesn’t get rid of ’em either. I swear, the number of sad sack geek boys I used to have to get rid of… it wood boggle the mind.
I’m aFreud it’s only going to get worse with the puns now.
… hahahahahahahah.
haha. hahah
I’d love a manual on puns! Aristole I can actually get it, though? You might find yourselves Plato-ed by some truly Nietzsche puns. I’ll give it a try though, any chance you get me the Art of Puns, Tzu?
Almost alate night here where I am. Maybe I should go to sleep soon.
Awww, you guys…you’re all pistils!
First, you have to filiform for to confirm that you don’t have any firearms on you. We can’t just let someone with a pistil walk in and demand a manual.
That’ll be the day.
As for me, my creepdar started pinging when he gave his long spiel about how she couldn’t be too creeped out yet because she hadn’t deleted her Facebook page after he’d stalked her down. Dude, WTeverlovingF? That is CREEPY. The very definition of.
And another thing: a genuinely nice guy, not a Nice Guy™, NEVER has to SAY he’s a nice guy, because that niceness just has a way of making itself felt without him saying a word. Even if he’s inept enough to think that fedora + trenchcoat = Teh Dashing.
Of course, the genuinely nice guys, who never seem to lack for good company, are the very ones these neckbeards call Alpha Assholes…and then turn REAL assholes themselves in a hopeless quest for teh ladybits…
Well, Foucault me, are we on philosophers now?
Argh. I can’t de Sade if that pun is too wooden.
@Bina, I had seen those screen captures on tumblr, but I hadn’t been exposed to the comments on kotaku. Extremely depressing.
sparky, Fibinachi Sartre’d it! Not me!
Anyway, this thread Marx the punniest that Man Boobz has ever been.
Yup, Kotaku is a real sumphole for “socially inept” harassotrons…
How could I not (knot, heh) have posted this link to the “ballerina is the stamen of privilege” dude yet?!!??!??!??!?!!!!
Fibinachi, have you stolon the manual already???
The comments in Kotaku are always terrible. Particularly when it comes to sexual harassment issues. There was an article a few weeks ago about a woman who works in the gaming industry being harassed by a man in the industry. The commenters mostly blamed her for not rejected him firmly enough.
Then when we get an article about a woman firmly rejecting her harassers and she is wrong because it’s mean to the poor socially awkward guy.
I hate the socially awkward excuse, It is not an excuse for harassment. I am socially awkward at times. It is nobody’s problem but mine. It would never occur to me that awkwardness gives me a free pass to stalk and harass people.
They complain that we have to be weary of men because there are so many creepers and racists because they don’t want to be seen as a Schrodinger’s rapist. Then they turn around and defend the harasser. Maybe if people didn’t defend harassment and keep it socially acceptable we wouldn’t have to keep our guard up all the time!
Oh the rage.
Don’t look at me, I didn’t know it’d get this far! It can’t all stem from me, though, because I’m not the soil root of this pun node! Really, you should Descart(es) that notion immediately!
Besides, I’ve stolen nothing, I just acquired the ability by Redding the thread q:
Dude who’s arguing that the woman had no right to be alarmed and pissed off unless the person he’s arguing with can provide him with stats specifying exactly how many female retail workers are raped by customers wins the rape culture enabling asshole award.
http://kotaku.com/she-could-have-just-told-him-she-wasnt-interested-obvi-1531194388
More idiocy on kotaku, well that’s just peachy.
Cassandra, as a commenter on GM I am familiar with that guy. He goes into every thread about harassment or rape with apologia. He only cares about it enough to derail threads with talk about men being raped in prison. Not that that isn’t important, but apparently we can’t deal with harassment and rape of women until there are zero prison rapes (of men, who cares about female inmates being raped?).
I want to Godel that guy off! If he keeps harassing people, he may end up someplace where all he gets are 3 hots and a cotyledon.
OP reminds me of the time I ran across a co-worker on OKCupid. I had met this guy when I was in a relationship but I specifically remember thinking that he was cute and interesting; he was one of those guys who really loved geeking out about random things and I find that to be an endearing quality.
So when I became single I saw his profile and it was full of “nice guy” whines about how nobody likes geeks with glasses and a bit of a belly.
And I was like, “phew, dodged a bullet there”.
He was doing that thing where the 12 month stats equal the lifetime stats and we can assume this because SHUT UP YOU MISANDRIST BITCH, too.
Person I used to work with found me and sent a “we should have coffee” message via a dating site (which I no longer use but never got round to changing my status). I clicked on her profile thinking hey, I remember you, maybe we should go get coffee, and then I found the statement “Don’t contact me if you don’t want to fuck. If you want to make friends, use Tumblr”, or words to that effect.
Bullet in coffee shop conversation form dodged.