And that is just the beginning of a wondrous little exchange between a self-described “nice guy” trying out some bad boy charm on a not-very receptive woman on OkCupid who nonetheless deals with his ridiculous assholery with aplomb.
Note to “nice guy.” You might want to reconsider some of your assumptions. And work on your typing.
I found this on the endlessly fascinating, if often deeply disturbing, CreepyPMs subreddit, one of Reddit’s few redeeming features. You can read the rest of the conversation here, and the CreepyPM post here.
Aloe you guys! When life gives you lemons make comment with tree bad puns?
Sure, because it separates the wheat from the chaff.
I camphor the life of me see the problem. These puns are just peach-y.
I vote this the funniest thread in awhile. Don’t ninja me, I beech you to the punch.
Well, all I can do is shrub my shoulders at this.
For as long as olive, I’ll never understand these guys.
OMG! I adorable you acers.
I think I aster quit, it’s bracken my ability to make more puns!
Sorry dude, but talking to women like this ent gonna work.
Never get an entwife that way.
What a strange exchange.
I stand in awe. If only I were so quick witted.
He probably thinks he’s just an unlucky sap.
If nasty women weren’t so hardwood he be any happier? I doubt it.
It is kind of hardwood to conifer-se entirely in pines.
Are we doing genus names now? That’s one of my quercus!
I’m so thrilled that Boobzers were able to branch out and come up with a whole trunkload of puns. Way to stick it to the MRAs! I wonder if they’ll ever twig to what’s wrong with their behavior?
Well they were an 83% match. That last 17% is pretty important.
In the guy’s defense, he’s following the scientific method. I think his thought process is something like:
Hypothesis 1: All women want nice guys and if they’re unattached they will form a relationship with the first nice guy who asks.
Status: Disproven.
Hypothesis 2: All women secretly want not-nice guys if they’re unattached they will form a relationship with the first not-nice guy who asks.
Status: Disproven.
Hypothesis 3: All women want guys who are alternately nice and not-nice, like in this Monty Python sketch
Status: Under evaluation
I wood make a herbaceous pun here, but I’m blooming all out.
@DDW
How pithy of you.
Algae, DDW, pack your trunk, make like a tree and leave. Or we’ll be forced to bark and uproot you.
RE: Chaos Engineer
he’s following the scientific method.
Last I checked, you had to get consent from your test subjects before you used them for testing.
Only human ones, LBT.
THE STAMEN OF FEMALE PRIVILEGE!
Meanwhile, in other Nice Guy™ news…
MRAs have a lot to anther for.
Thanks to the terribleness of MRAs, it is easy to weed them out from a group of people who claim to be social justice advocates.