And that is just the beginning of a wondrous little exchange between a self-described “nice guy” trying out some bad boy charm on a not-very receptive woman on OkCupid who nonetheless deals with his ridiculous assholery with aplomb.
Note to “nice guy.” You might want to reconsider some of your assumptions. And work on your typing.
I found this on the endlessly fascinating, if often deeply disturbing, CreepyPMs subreddit, one of Reddit’s few redeeming features. You can read the rest of the conversation here, and the CreepyPM post here.
They really are a bunch of dead-heads with all these perennial complaints about women.
MRA talking points are completely devoid of resin. All they care about is wetwood.
You have to wonder what in carnation is wrong with them.
I keep wanting to read “birch ho” as “birch, ho!” as in, look over there, where you will find a birch tree.
Were wolf?
There wolf!
I love you guys. Reading all these puns has made my collapse + allergies more bearable. I’m lichen all the creativity I see here!
I fir we will never see the end of this old chestnut. It really makes me face palm.
If “girls” forced guys to be complete dicks to get close to them this guy would be up to his earlobes in girls.
I fucking love you guys. The puns make me want to groan and burst into hysterics at the same time. So terrible, it’s wonderful.
Don’t cypress your laughter. You may g-rowan as loud as you like.
It’s like as soon as he cedar her profile, he sprung some redwood.
(Ick.)
Nice guys who pay for dates (dates!) expect the woman willow him sex. Their flapping tulips make me impatien. (Yes I’ve used flowers and I know this sux.)
Sux is a tree
Nice Guys are hawthorn in my side.
I….uh….uhhhhhh…..
I’m stumped.
This guy isn’t very poplar with girls.
Was that one done yet? It seems so obvious.
His tulips will never come close to a female (back to flowers!)
Holly moly, I fir this guy is being drip fed MRA ‘logic’ via Ivy. Don’t beat around the bush lad, it’s clear you’re just another spruce goose, although one ‘flight’ might be a little too ambitious. Clearly another candidate for a mangrove-ing his own way.
I don’t know why a Nice Guy would think agave a shit about his sad boner. Weed on’t need to waste any thyme on these dills.
I walnut stop laughing ever at your tree puns.
He’s just toyon around with her.
Someone with such a canker wort not be a good date.
To be honest, I think we’re starting to re-peat ourselves.
I can’t teak it anymore!
Yes, I fear this thread will get truly ponderosa. We must stop punning, or I’ll go nuts!
In this vein, I am running out of puns!