And that is just the beginning of a wondrous little exchange between a self-described “nice guy” trying out some bad boy charm on a not-very receptive woman on OkCupid who nonetheless deals with his ridiculous assholery with aplomb.
Note to “nice guy.” You might want to reconsider some of your assumptions. And work on your typing.
I found this on the endlessly fascinating, if often deeply disturbing, CreepyPMs subreddit, one of Reddit’s few redeeming features. You can read the rest of the conversation here, and the CreepyPM post here.
I log in, spend some time browsing the Internet, and I find a bunch of tree-related puns.
…
I’ll go against the grain and ask this: wood anybody care to stop punning for the sake of us all?
still had the wrong account… some days I hate wp…
Finally attempt at posting my pun…
Is this guy fir real?
I love it when women who get these stick up for themselves. It sounds like his bitterness turns everything he tastes into ash. Maybe if he branched out into activities which made him happy, he could root out the rot in his heart. Still, I get the feeling that most of these guys have a bark worse than their bite. Not that they should axe women stuff like this. I really just hope he leaves her alone, but he won’t see the forest for the trees.
I wonder how she copse with things like this.
Holly shit, why do these idiots insist on doing this alder time? He really needs to spruce up his act.
By gum! The poor fellow was pine-ing for a woman but didn’t get one. Now he may end up becoming a mango-ing his own way. Thanks, feminism.
Acacia didn’t notice, Nice Guys are a real thorn in people’s sides
It’s absurd how these guys think women are so cruel to boysenberry their hopes, just because we don’t like mopey idiots or abusive ones. Their bittercress must permeate their whole lives.
Look at the nice guy in action. Watch as it seduces a girl with its kindness, speaking sweet words of “slit ass birch ho”. I can just feel the warmth of his degrading, misogynistic words sweet as hot chocolate. My oh my, why would any woman even turn this man down? It must be the bad boys, that’s what it must be.
Communication does not appear to be a strong suit with these guys. It’s a hard life, in order to meet girls, you have to actually talk to them. Or type to them. Worse, what you say must be comprehensible.
Olive them need to stop sapping the energy of other people.
This made me laugh the hardest. But now I’m getting sycamore puns.
I can’t believe this has been kept going for so long.
I bough down to you all.
Maple!
<..>
Am I doing it right?
Cloudiah, are you going to be logging all this for us?
Nice guys are always so angry — it’s like you can almost see the hatred and fury phloem through them.
katz, well I think someone should. Probably it cambium me.
(Hey, I came late to the party, so my puns HAVE to be obscure.)
If we were less enlightened, we would probably call for him to be put into a xylem. XD
Why are women so callus towards nice guys? Maybe if the average woman weren’t such a selfish bitch and cared only about rotten alpha males, she would find a nice fungi.
(I hope that wasn’t too cringe-worthy)
I’d say that the symplast way to describe “Nice Guys” is that they’re misogynists.
The manosphere is full of saps.
These guys get into such a knot garden their poor delicate fee-fees, and treat being a decent person like it’s impossibly hard graft.
Cis male MRAs don’t care about anything that doesn’t make their dicks fern.
Every time I read the whole nice guy bs on the manosphere I’m reminded of this video:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3VXXXX9iVPI
Well he certainly planted a seed of hatred there didn’t he? I’d hate to see what it flowers into!