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are these guys 12 years old? block that metaphor boner rage chivalry citation needed crackpottery creepy evil women excusing abuse I'm totally being sarcastic irony alert kitties mansplaining men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA pedestalization reddit vaginas victim blaming

A dude named Sizzletron shares his “honest opinions that are entirely merit-based, about women.” (Spoiler alert: They actually aren’t.)

This picture has nothing whatsoever to to with the post. I just like it.
This picture has nothing whatsoever to to with the post. I just like it.

It’s Friday. Why not welcome in the upcoming weekend with a picture of an anarchist cat and a completely unrelated,  completely unhinged manifesto from the MensRants subreddit, the Men’s Rights subreddit’s unruly younger brother.

In a post with the somewhat roundabout title “Just posting this publicly gives me an ulcer. But I won’t let it stop me,” an angry fella who calls himself sizzletron set forth his opinions about, well, a lot of things having to do with women. It’s a piece that’s pretty much impossible to summarize, since sizzletron apparently finds it difficult to keep the thread of an argument going from one sentence to the next.

Let’s dig in:

I think most women are very unfamiliar with being challenged to be better adults. I also think I have a lot of honest opinions that are entirely merit-based, about women.

We’re off to a good start with two sentences that have no logical connection to one another aside from the fact that their author is really, really mad at women.

I think that collectively most women, in the West especially, don’t have an understanding of ANY motivation that doesn’t support women blindly.

Uh, what? Motivation? I’m beginning to get the impression that sizzletron chooses a lot of his words by flipping through books and pointing at random selections.

For example, chivalry should dead and gone by now. I know it. Most guys who aren’t trying to get laid dishonestly know it. So why do women persist with claiming some sort of implicit right to it? Because it obviously benefits them to have men do shit for them, protect them (often from themselves, which would be hilarious were the net result so often fatal, or judicial, again for men), provide for them, admire them, pedestalize them. Feminism isn’t helping women. It’s putting baby in a very stupid, very un-respectable corner.

What does this even mean? How is chivalry the same as “putting baby in the corner.” Also, since when are feminists the ones promoting chivalry/

But sizzletron quickly moves on to a new topic: women’s intelligence.

Women are getting stupider by the day. Not hyperbole. Intelligence isn’t getting book smart. Intelligence is problem solving on your own without the agency of a mob apparatus.

What? What agency? What mob? What apparatus? WHAT IS GOING ON?

Ask me how much I actually respect the advances, societally, of a mob of hairshirts-for-men feminists? Not even a bit.

Wait, feminists are making men wear hairshirts? Even as a weird metaphorical accusation that makes no sense. People in certain religious traditions wore hairshirts as a way to show repentance; they didn’t force other people to wear them.

Now how many of those same organizations and feminists are alluded to lamely in a debate-by-the-numbers exercise that regularly passes for a discourse on gender relations?

Ok, I give up. I have no idea what the hell he’s even trying to say here.

You know what I do everyday?

Smoke weed? Read the “Ziggy” cartoon in the newspaper? Have a bowel movement?

I read the fashion mags my GF’s sister bequeaths us. My respect for women has absolutely PLUMMETED since I started doing so. Vacuous, vagina-centric, vapid, vicarious, venereal-in-waiting. All the ‘V’ words.

Uh, vicarious? “Venereal-in-waiting?” If you were going for something that was even vaguely coherent, you probably should have stopped with “vapid.”

But Mike, what about the good women, they aren’t all self-interested limelight addicts expecting money for nothing and sex for free. No, you’re very correct about that.

Ooh, a Dire Straits reference. It doesn’t actually make much sense, but way to show you’re up to the minute with what the cool kids are listening to these days.

But they aren’t calling out the chickenshit manipulations of the modern feminist message, either: You can be a strong respectable female AND a major victim when it bloody well suits you to do so. You can identify with abused women even if you’ve never been abused.

Yeah, I think that’s called “empathy.”

Blindly protect women without ever asking how much of the modern women’s plight is due to or contributed to by stupid women. Let’s start IQ testing all the victims of abuse and see what the median average is.

You’re going to blame the victims of domestic violence because you think they’re “stupid?” Really?

Really. Let’s do it! We’ll never know if I’m right until we do.

You’re an even bigger asshole than I thought. And I already thought you were a huge asshole.

Let’s start statistically plotting women’s propensity for violence, for ignorance, for mindless sorority.

Yeah, I’d love to see THAT chart.

Let’s start calling women out for being shallow appearance-concerned adults with a blind eye to the very pretense of such. No one really cares about your fucking furniture, or your sense of style.

Wait. Now you’re mad at women for having nice furniture?

No one of ANY value gives a shit about that stuff. Blowhards do. Frauds do. People who can’t DO, do.

Backing away now.

It is high time women grew the fucking pair they keep insisting they have, or STFU about it already. You’re starting to look like fools. I can’t ignore it any longer.

STFU about what? What is “it?”

And to all the white knights out there, stow it. <===This last line is for the benefit of my FB ‘friends’.

What a treat it must be to have Mike/Sizzletron here in your Facebook feed.

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Luzbelitx
6 years ago

Ah, I see, he’s just an abuse apologist. A woman gets beaten and abused because she’s stupid; not because the one doing the beating and abuse is an asshole.

Also, there is no reason whatsoever to test the abuser’s IQ, because we all know abusers are *brilliant*, as all abuse apologists in the manosphere have repeatedly proven. WITH SCIENCE.

Robert
Robert
6 years ago

Nobody cares about your fucking furniture? What about Ogdred Wearys’s Curious Sofa?

LBT
LBT
6 years ago

RE: Kiwi Girl

I’m a little uncomfortable about IQ being used as though it is the gold standard measure for intelligence.

Yup. It’s a crock, especially since IQ was ORIGINALLY designed to just decide which kids needed extra help in school. It was never intended to measure intelligence, and yes, like pretty much every other science on earth, was used to beat the status quo drum of superiority of the people in power.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Nobody cares about your fucking furniture

Oh, awesome, another one who thinks he speaks for every man in the world.

(Women of course don’t count, not being people at all.)

LBT
LBT
6 years ago

I’m sure these guys just live entirely on planks and cinderblocks, like Real Men (TM) do.

They are sure welcome to, but I will happily take the purple bookshelf decoupaged with superheroes and robots my kid sibling made for me.

kittehserf
6 years ago

He feels like he’s getting an ulcer from putting this out?

::channels Grumpy Cat::

GOOD

This nit should read Cliff Pervocracy’s Cosmocking posts. How typical that a misogynist would take misogynistic magazines as being feminist, simply because they’re aimed at women and written by women.

As for the rest, he’s so incoherent that he’s more laughable than anything else. He’s like Fidelbogen’s failed apprentice.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Men don’t care about furniture? I guess that’s why Mr. HK sat on the last floor model of the couch we bought so no one else could get it–he hated it.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Forgot to add, great to see the Etsy page, LBT! ::applauds::

kittehserf
6 years ago

hellkell – I guess it’s why Kevin McCloud is omnipresent on the telly with his Grand Designs series and variations, because style and architecture and furnishing and stuff is of no interest to men at all.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

This explains why Mr C cares far more about furniture than I do. As long as it’s comfy, not ugly, and goes well with the other furniture, I’m happy, but he rearranges things for fun.

I may be the woman, but I’m not the one who collects furniture porn (AKA design magazines).

LBT
LBT
6 years ago

RE: Kittehs and Kiwi Girl

Thank you! I’m really delighted to finally have a stupid shopfront that isn’t so much a tin-cans-on-strings mess I had before. (Though I still have to have different places for online wares and paper ones. *sigh* Oh well…) And hopefully this will make selling my wares a little less dependent on cons, which are exhausting and often expensive.

Now to work on churning out ebooks and changing my blog URL to LB-Lee like all the rest of our stuff…

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
6 years ago

@cassandra, I collect crochet and knitting porn. And sometimes cooking porn. I really do like looking at the pictures.

House Mouse Queen
6 years ago

@LBT, congrats on your new Venture! That’s a good ‘V’ word!

Some of these manospherians sound like they swallow letter-sections of the dictionary. I picture that scene in the movie ‘Ali’ where the dude playing Don King said about 5 ‘D’ words in a row and Ali (Will Smith) turns to him and says:
“Don, you sound like you swallowed the whole D-section of the dictionary!”

Sofas=Misandraaaay!!!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

My main collecting issue is books. It’s probably a good thing that I don’t have infinite space, because if I did, I’d fill it (with even more books).

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

Same here, cassandrakitty. There are not enough bookshelves in the workd.

What in the Sam Hill is “venereal-in-waiting”? Does he mean genital warts hovering solicitously around royalty?

contrapangloss
6 years ago

Totally not enough bookshelves. My bed turns into one by default… I can sleep in a chair if I want to! Chairs (which are apparently misandry) can be really, really comfy.

Side-note: Google spell-check hates misandry, too; is its angry refusal to accept ‘misandry’ as a word misandry?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

We’ve already established that Google is a tool of the feminazi overlords after the candy hearts graphic for Valentine’s Day.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Of course it’s misandry. After all Google were the ones saying CRUSH MR RIGHT for Valentine’s.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Aaaaahhhh ninjaed!

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
6 years ago

We all need to find a room where we can put all the books we can get our hands on, after all, enough books in once place begins to deform the physical world with L-space, leading one ultimately to be able to move through every library in existence by going in through that one room.

Of course, most normal building materials won’t support enough books to achieve the critical mass necessary for an L-space field to form, so those boobzers who live anywhere but a basement are putting their fellow occupants in some jeopardy in the attempt.

My life goal is to live in a space with enough shelving for me to empty all of my book boxes.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

I still can’t decide which is worse to move, vinyl or books. Both are a pretty huge pain in the ass.

I’m about to have a pretty big culling of the book herd soon. Some I’ll take down the street, a neighbor has one of those Little Lending Libraries.

Melissia (@MelissiaKuromoi)

Wait, how are sofas misandry? Aren’t they associated with manly things like that strange activity of sports-watching and… vidjamagaming?

Lili Fugit
Lili Fugit
6 years ago

I seriously couldn’t stop laughing throughout this entire read! Also I couldn’t help but wonder if he veered wildly towards the evils of home decor because it somehow occured to his poor addled mind that if he suggested women stop shaving legs/plucking brows/wearing makeup he wouldn’t at all approve, so– SOFAS ARE MISANDRY, which is totally what I get too, after reading Vogue.

kittehserf
6 years ago

I wish I could access L-space! I cringe at what it’ll be like when we have to move to a smaller place (a retirement village if we can get in somewhere), because there will be so. many. books. to get rid of. And I’ll be doing it all myself, ‘cos Mum’s not exactly up to it anymore.

Eliza
Eliza
6 years ago

As someone who is generally a strong woman but was a major victim a few years back, I heartily say “F**k you!” to the author of this horrific prose. I thought I was having trouble following because of the martini I had at dinner but after reading it through twice, I realize that it’s just damn near impossible to follow. Now I have a headache. Perhaps I need another martini.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Sometimes, another martini is the answer.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Which are more misandric? Scented candles or sofas? I have a scented candle on the end table next to my sofa, so double misandry ftw!

Lkeke
Lkeke
6 years ago

Longtime Lurker here- so please forgive if I step on any toes.

See,what we have here is a brain that has read words and individually understands words but lacks the ability to form cogent thoughts with the words.

As a public service worker,I deal with the (to be kind) “mentally inert ” on a daily basis and I STILL manage to be astonished by this website. Right now this is the dumbest, most inarticulate thing I’ve ever read here, but I’m also pretty sure I”ll be just as astonished by some new level of stupidry that will be posted tomorrow.

How do these people even know what a keyboard is for,let alone how to use said keyboard to send messages and I wonder if they wonder where their typings go?

(Now would probably be a good time for some brain bleach.)

katz
6 years ago

Is another martini ever NOT the answer?

kittehserf
6 years ago

If you’re with Bond, probably.

Argenti Aertheri
6 years ago

Or already Really Fucking Drunk. In which case water is a better answer.

Lkeke — welcome! I’m sure you’ll get your welcome package shortly, but in the mean time I’m going to pop in over here to say that they often have a case of “I know what each of those words mean, but not when they’re strung together like that”.

2-D Man
2-D Man
6 years ago

Tassels are contributing to the downfall of western civilization, and that’s real.

I had a cat (cleverly named “Kitty”) who was terrified of the tassels on our welcome mat. He would always jump over the mat when entering or exiting the house and occasionally tepidly approach the mat, poke the tassels and run the fuck away with all haste.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Is another martini ever NOT the answer?

If you’re on your second, the third is probably a bad idea. Or so I’ve heard.

kittehserf
6 years ago

As a public service worker,I deal with the (to be kind) “mentally inert ” on a daily basis and I STILL manage to be astonished by this website.

Mentally inert, AKA upper management. (I spent years in the public service too.)

AL3H
AL3H
6 years ago

To add to the conversation, as a woman who is pretty good at maths I have had people be spectacularly nasty to me BECAUSE I was better at maths than they were (and they didn’t like it), so I don’t think the IQ argument works any way you look at it.

Re martini’s, can we agree that martinis are sometimes a good answer depending on the problem?

Re: Tassels/sofas. I have a scarf with tassels … do you think that would deter MRAs? If so, I shall wear it every day. 🙂

saintnick86
saintnick86
6 years ago

I dealt with an antifeminist by the name of Mike today along with a buddy of his.

Apparently pointing out that a photo they shared – a baking sale flyer with that cartoon cupcake MRAs use and indicating that (OH NOES!!!1!!!1!) guys paid $0.25 more than women – was probably photoshopped makes me an asshole. I didn’t call them names or anything, just said that it might be photoshopped because I’ve seen similar before elsewhere. Nothing hostile…which is why I must’ve gotten such a hostile and dismissive response.

Their argument for believing it isn’t fake? Reasons. I just say “reasons” because they’re all excuses and they don’t have evidence it’s real – they simply believe it is based on “gut instinct” (’cause that’s never steered anyone wrong…right?). I suppose I’d be less upset were they not people I friended on Facebook who also pride themselves on being “skeptics” except when it’s really inconvenient. It just causes me to be absolutely fucking frustrated at myself for associating with these people and at them for believing themselves to be oh-so-more-objective than everyone else, when it is clear they are incredibly bias and unaware of it.

I really get sick of dealing with people sometimes…

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

It depends which martinis we’re talking about. Another lavender martini is always a good idea.

(She says, as she falls asleep on her friend’s shoulder at the bar.)

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
6 years ago

The one I heard about was a bunch of College Republicans charging women and minorities different prices to “highlight racism”

http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/27/us/california-racial-bake-sale/

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

@ David,

The stories I’ve heard about bake sales charging men more are usually put on by conservative groups to protest (what they consider) affirmative action. I’ve never heard of feminist groups doing so.

That reminds me–it is almost time for girl scout cookies. I live in apartment building, so I think I’ll put up a sign on my door saying I’m looking for someone to buy cookies from. Maybe that will spare me having to wander around all the grocery stores in town before I find where they are selling them during open cookie season.

Mmmmm…. Thin Mints.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

And Ninja’ed.

Though I think there have been several college groups that did it, because it so clearly isn’t a ragingly offensive and insensitive means of getting their points across.

saintnick86
saintnick86
6 years ago

I think I vaguely remember that some feminist group did a bake sale once where they charged men more to make a point about the wage gap, but the idea that this is something that happens in the real world is a tad silly.

They pointed that out too, to “back up” their argument – nevermind that may’ve just been one incident and not common practice. They were too caught up on all their antifeminist hate to consider that possibility. Or even how many pranks and hoaxes using photos exist on the internet – which are legion.

A big point of contention of theirs was that the flyer used the term “equality” and, like a lot of people who don’t get the concept, found the pricing to “prove” how hypocritical feminism is. Y’know, the absurd notion that “true” equality is men and women being treated exactly alike? ‘Cause it isn’t like there’s a uneven playing field that mostly benefits one group (white, heterosexual/cis-gendered men) that needs to be leveled out for less advantaged groups or anything.

This just further proves to me that privilege causes severe tunnel-vision and false equivalency fallacy is way too wide-spread. So much for all that “skepticism” they value…

The one I heard about was a bunch of College Republicans charging women and minorities different prices to “highlight racism”

http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/27/us/california-racial-bake-sale/

Ah yes, I remember that. Obviously someone doesn’t understand what Affirmative Action is – especially since it has nothing to do with the pricing of baked good…

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
6 years ago

You know, wordsp1nner, you can make some pretty darn good thin mints at home. I’ve tried this recipe and it’s a bit messy when it comes time to coat the cookies with chocolate, they are delicious!

http://www.instructables.com/id/Homemade-Thin-Mint-Cookies/

AL3H
AL3H
6 years ago

I should have also said that I was delurking – Hi! I am delurking.

Re: Corners
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha I didn’t see that. 😀
I think we should. And put the testing procedure on youtube so that it is standardised. Although I would personally rather the corners were tested for e.g. kindness.

Re: Cupcakes
Feminist subtext aside, if someone charged me 25 cents extra for cupcakes, I think I would be torn between paying the 25 cents (as cupcakes were right there and are awesome) or going home and making my own cupcakes (as cupcakes are fun to make, and awesome, and this way I get to pick the topping and sprinkles hehehe). Mmmmm cupcakes … 😀

AL3H
AL3H
6 years ago

@katz
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. 😀

Lurkerina
Lurkerina
6 years ago

@wordsp1nner

Find the locations and times of cookie sales near you!
http://www.girlscouts.org/program/gs_cookies/find_cookies.asp

I have most definitely used this for several years. Except for last year when I was driving with someone in downtown SF and we passed by some girl scouts selling cookies and demanded the driver pull over immediately so I could buy some. Not a small request in downtown SF. I believe I even squealed…

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

From th article gillyrosebee linked to:

“The biggest thing is that no violence broke out. There was no physical situation, which is really great,” Berkeley College Republicans President Shawn Lewis said Tuesday afternoon, as the bake sale was nearing an end.

If you’re worried about physical violence at your bake sale, you’re probably doing it wrong.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

Lurkerina–Squee! There are cookies to be had just about two minutes from my apartment! I just have to wait a month!

When my sister did girl scouts, my dad was the cookie-sale coordinator. He said he was just about the only man in the room when he went to the informational meetings, which I think is just sad. The first year, he used pre-sales data to weight the purchases for open selling, but even then they had a hard time selling some of the… less popular options. The year after that it was thin mints, samoas, tagalongs, and trefoils–I think in that order, too. If you wanted anything else, you better hope that some girl scout came to your neighborhood.

That works for me–I love thin mints and tagalongs, and like samoas and trefoils, but all the others range from meh to ew to me.

Though I can see why maybe they don’t want to–going door to door is nerve wracking. Also, when I was a baby, a girl scout came to sell my mother cookies, and my mother asked her to hold me while she filled out the order form, and I threw up all over the girl scout. Apparently, when she came back with the cookies, she brought her father along to protect her from any more baby-related trauma.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

On the affirmative action bake sales, it seems like they are a thing. A quick google finds that they have happened (or at least been attempted–I’m not reading all these articles to be sure) at:

UCLA
University of Texas
University of Illinois-Champaign Urbana
UC Berkeley
University of Colorado-Boulder
Bucknell University

That is just the first three Google pages.

I also vaguely remember PZ Myers discussing a group doing it at his college, but I can’t find the link, and I’m too lazy to do more work.

So the TL,DR on this is: bad ideas in college protesting spread like the goddamn swine flu in a freshman dorm. (Yes, I was a freshman the year of the swine flu outbreak.)