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Breaking Boner: How a dick-pic receiver got her revenge

The fine art of conversation.
The fine art of conversation.

So that’s the beginning to what has to be my favorite creepy convo I’ve seen posted to the Reddit CreepyPMs subreddit yet. I don’t want to SPOIL anything, but let’s just say that the pink lady in this conversation comes up with a rather unique way to send this dick-pic-posting male correspondent packing.

See here for the rest, and here for the Reddit thread. Oh, and don’t worry, you won’t have to look at his c*ck, or any other horrifying thing, and nothing else will be spoiled if you scroll down through all the pics. (You’ll get what I’m talking about in a second.)

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cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Well, the thread where he told us about Uncle Monty was quite funny.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Thank you, David!

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
7 years ago

LBT

Interesting fact about bellybutton lint:

If you shave a 2 inch diameter circle around your navel, you wont get any.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

So what you’re saying is that it’s impossible to clean an unshaven bellybutton?

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

XD perfect!

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
7 years ago

Hellkell, where do I send the bill for my new monitor? This one’s covered with tea.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
7 years ago

Someone did a PhD(?) dissertation on the contents on bellybutton fluff. Apparently it’s mainly clothing fibres. YMMV.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Kiwi girl: that puts “navel gazing” in a whole new light.

katz
7 years ago

Kiwi girl: I’m fascinated by what leads one to do a dissertation about bellybutton lint.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Diogenes

Interesting fact about bellybutton lint:

If you shave a 2 inch diameter circle around your navel, you wont get any.

Hell no! Death first! *cradles tummy protectively* Do you know what I had to GO THROUGH to get this belly fuzz?

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@Diogenes

LBT

Interesting fact about bellybutton lint:

If you shave a 2 inch diameter circle around your navel, you wont get any.

1) that would look really silly.

2) I’m pretty sure this is factually wrong, because I barely have any hair around my belly button, and I still get lint in it.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Neither interesting nor much of a fact, typical Diogenes.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Not all of us have so much hair on our stomachs that it would be possible to shave a hole in the middle of it, you know. Is this the new version of “women don’t poop”? We don’t get bellybutton lint either?

Once again, everything Diogenes knows about women’s bodies could fit on a post-it note. One of the tiny ones people use to mark their place in files.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Once again, everything Diogenes knows about women’s bodies could fit on a post-it note. One of the tiny ones people use to mark their place in files.

I was thinking more a five-cent postage stamp.

Why would one shave one’s stomach anyway? Is cleaning the lint out when one showers so difficult?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Hey, at least now if you ever see some dumbass with a circle shaved in the middle of his stomach at the beach you know who it is.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Why would one shave one’s stomach anyway? Is cleaning the lint out when one showers so difficult?

It’s not difficult at all. But look at the source–a person who seems to have great difficulty with the simplest things.

kittehserf
7 years ago

hellkell – yup, that was my thinking. Also Diogenes the Dumbass seems to have a bit of an ewww thing about body hair in general, iirc. Which is fine in itself, it’s his stupid prescriptions (and wannabe proscriptions) about everything related to it that’s laughable.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Hey, if he wants to wax his own ass (with random crop circles? oh please let it be true!) then that’s fine, but I’m not sure why he expects the rest of us to care.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

I am now wondering whether a hairy person has ever shaved various patterns or pictures into their body hair. Come on, someone somewhere must have!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

They could be a human version of one of those complicated topiary gardens with deer and bunnies and stuff like that.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Hey, if he wants to wax his own ass (with random crop circles? oh please let it be true!) then that’s fine, but I’m not sure why he expects the rest of us to care.

This made me guffaw. Cats were scared.

sparky
sparky
7 years ago

I am now wondering whether a hairy person has ever shaved various patterns or pictures into their body hair. Come on, someone somewhere must have!

Why yes, that has been done. By lots of people, from the looks of it:


http://www.looneypalace.com/hilariously-shaved-body-hair/

I wish the site had a better name.

kittehserf
7 years ago

I liked the Superman logo. The others, meh.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

I’m not at all surprised to see that someone shaved a damn longhorn on their chest. I’m only surprised it’s taken me this long.

sparky
sparky
7 years ago

I’m not sure how I’d react if my husband shaved my name into his chest hair.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Wow. If I weren’t against shaving on principle, I would be tempted to attempt some of that.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Sparky – I can top that; I’ve got my husband’s signature tattooed on me.

gillyrosebee
7 years ago

Thank you, auggziliary, for posting that clear example of over the top feminininazi misandry. That was SOOOO incredibly uncalled for, rude and unnecesary. After all, he did say “pls”. Are femininininazis against simple courtesy now? The horror (the horror)!

I’ve never been so delighted to be wating on a repair – it means that instead of working, I can come out and play for a while. I’ve been reading along here and there, but I’ve missed having an office job that allowed me to come kick trolls in my off hours!

kittehserf
7 years ago

Good to see you on site again, gillyrosebee!

gillyrosebee
7 years ago

*mwah*, kittehs. love the new pix, by the way!

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Well, dang. This thread blowed up, and I missed Sam getting the shit-can. I wonder if he’ll be back wearing fresh socks…the old ones were gettin’ kinda smelly.

kittehserf
7 years ago

*mwah*, kittehs. love the new pix, by the way!

*mwah* back, and thank ‘ee! Someone (naming no names) suggested a calendar of Sir pics would have at least one buyer. 😉

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

You know, I think it would be quite rude of me to go hang out at AVfM, where I would not be terribly popular, and start spouting off random, off-topic, probably untrue things.

gillyrosebee
7 years ago

You know, I think it would be quite rude of me to go hang out at AVfM, where I would not be terribly popular, and start spouting off random, off-topic, probably untrue things.

YOU MUST DO THIS!

And then post the results for all of us to chuckle over.

This site gets enough drive by trollings that it seems only fair to return the favor once in a while…

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

Ha! No, their ban hammer falls much more heavily than Dave’s; and anyway, I really would consider it rude. When Diogenes goes all “here’s a little known fact!” It suggests a friendliness that simply doesn’t exist. I feel like he does it so that he can say nasty things and then when called out on it, he can point to this and say “look how pleasant I am compared to all of you!”

kittehserf
7 years ago

Yeah, Diogenes is one of those trolls that leaves a trail of slime all over the place. Thinks he’s so smart and really a regular here, or he would be, if he wasn’t so busy translating important manuscripts and if we weren’t so unreasonable.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

Like, if he wants be a friend and be awesome and share interesting (true) things, that’s fantastic. But if he wants to come here and say gross stuff that nobody likes and upset people, he should have the decency to be honest about that.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

The sucking up is grotesque. I think he’s wanting to have it both ways–be a regular who says gross stuff. We’ve had that already and it never works.

kittehserf
7 years ago

::snicker:: I don’t think Diogenes could say interesting or true things if he tried.

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
7 years ago
titianblue
titianblue
7 years ago

Yes, Dog-genes, we already know about the Voynich manuscript. But thanks for the proof that you don’t read anyone else’s comments.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

Shaving a belly isn’t (that) visceral.

Are you being willfully obtuse, or do you really not get it? Maybe I was unclear.

“Shave your belly button lolol” is not the gross, upsetting thing I was referring to. What is gross and upsetting is everything else you say. You are singularly unpleasant to everyone when you come here. I consider it two-faced and dishonest that you then turn around and say something innocuous (like the belly button thing) as if you were everybody’s pal.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Way to miss the point and illustrate why you’re not wanted here, Diogenes.

Howard Bannister
7 years ago

Yeah, the most offensive part is the sneaking in sideways and pretending that the offensiveness never happened.

But this is still my favorite thing he ever said.

Diogenes The Cynic | February 24, 2013 at 2:04 pm

emily,

Why read condescending sexism into that phrase when condensation itself would suffice? Occams razor.

Hee! He said condensation! Oh, lord, what a dumb-ass.

Also, his condescension has ALWAYS been loaded with sexism that he pretends isn’t there.

Howard Bannister
7 years ago

Are you being willfully obtuse, or do you really not get it?

…it’s like a Poe. As the amount of time a person spends in the area where they could be either of those increases, the more it doesn’t really make a difference.

Did I ban Diogenes.or just put him on moderation?

I don’t think he ever got outright banned. I think it was the Steubenville thread where he decided to quibble the difference between rape and molestation.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

I think he’s just been on moderation.

Howard Bannister
7 years ago

Other fabulous hits by Diogenes:

This place has more than its share of bitterness. It smells like a million failed diets, and thousands of childhood rejections.

From the same thread.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Howard: if that’s what he thinks, I have no idea why he’s oozing around here.

Maybe he just needs his yearly negative attention fix.