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Breaking Boner: How a dick-pic receiver got her revenge

The fine art of conversation.
The fine art of conversation.

So that’s the beginning to what has to be my favorite creepy convo I’ve seen posted to the Reddit CreepyPMs subreddit yet. I don’t want to SPOIL anything, but let’s just say that the pink lady in this conversation comes up with a rather unique way to send this dick-pic-posting male correspondent packing.

See here for the rest, and here for the Reddit thread. Oh, and don’t worry, you won’t have to look at his c*ck, or any other horrifying thing, and nothing else will be spoiled if you scroll down through all the pics. (You’ll get what I’m talking about in a second.)

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Ally S
7 years ago

Glorious.

Octo
Octo
7 years ago

Heh. Nice.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Well played!

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Excellent!

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Roses are red,
Violets are blue —
I wanna take pics
of my dick next to you!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

1. This doesn’t really happen! Women are just making it up!
2. This is a compliment and women should be pleased when it happens.
3. OK, so this happens, but it’s not that big a deal compared to the soul-crushing awfulness of having women not respond to your messages. Have some sympathy for the guys, it’s your constant rejection that’s making them act like this.

Just though I’d summarize the responses that our usual trolls were about to post and save them some time.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
7 years ago

I am consumed with envy.

That woman is brilliant!

leatapp
leatapp
7 years ago

Muhahahaha!

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Svelinya is my kind of person. German, and baaaaad. 😈

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

I love that she warned him, and then gave him an out, and he just kept talking about his dick anyway. Dude. Seriously.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Wow, this reminds me of a similar story back when I was at Harvard!

Okay, so Harvard has tourists traipsing around it all the damn time, especially in summer, which was when I was studying there. A great story (the veracity of which I have no way of knowing) that went around, friend-of-a-friend style, was of some poor bozo whose dorm room was on the first floor. Now, one weekend morning, dude was awoken by a rapping upon his window. He rose to find a family of painfully earnest tourists standing outside.

Dude, groggy and quite annoyed, goes to ask what the hell they could possibly want from him on a weekend morning.

Their response? They want to tour his dorm room.

Dude notes that the family has brand-new copies of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince under their arms. (It came out during that summer.) He shouts at them, “DUMBLEDORE DIES!” shuts his window, shuts the blinds, and goes back to sleep.

kittehserf
7 years ago

LOL love it, LBT!

Morrigan
7 years ago

Wow, the misandry is palpable. Even past his true courage to display himself before such a judgmental woman, he innocently sent a picture of his genitalia, which, ignoring that she didn’t want it, she probably wanted. And what does he get in return? A modest “thank you”? No! He has his man-show-experience forever tainted by a woman. A man-driven show. Man-hating woman. People who say misandry doesn’t exist are wearing glasses.

Misandry-not-seeing glasses.

Misandry.

cloudiah
7 years ago

I would like to buy that young woman the beverage of her choice.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
7 years ago

If a man takes a photo of his penis and the photo is ignored, does his penis really exist?

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Dicks are the axis that the world revolves around, don’tcha know?

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
7 years ago

No amount of brain bleach gifs is gonna remove that now! Argh!

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
7 years ago

LBT, you attended Harvard?

La Strega
7 years ago

That was so much fun! Thanks for sharing this David.

cloudiah
7 years ago

If a man takes a photo of his penis and the photo is ignored, does his penis really exist?

LOL

Also, this GIF made me think of guys like this.

kittehserf
7 years ago

If his dick is the first thing he thinks to present, has he anything else at all?

fromafar2013
fromafar2013
7 years ago

I love how the ‘derail’ proves that the ‘I don’t know how else to talk to women’ argument for dick pics is BS. Take out the beginning and end and what you have is a perfectly acceptable interaction between two people with a common interest; Breaking Bad.

Pro tip for potential dick pic senders: How about asking about a popular TV show you also like to break the ice instead?

kittehserf
7 years ago

It also has me wondering why he’s wanking during his supposed fave show, never mind taking pics. It’s not an encouraging setup.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Dude must have boners for drug dealers, I guess.

Cthulhu's Intern
7 years ago

LOL. Reminds me how in EVE Online, there are some people who name their spaceships and space stations Game of Thrones spoilers so that those who haven’t read the books don’t want to attack them. Except this is cooler.

Cthulhu's Intern
7 years ago

It also has me wondering why he’s wanking during his supposed fave show, never mind taking pics. It’s not an encouraging setup.

Bryan Cranston in his tighty whities. Obviously.

sparky
sparky
7 years ago

That was awesome.

Creepy dude got what he deserved.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Bryan Cranston in his tighty whities. Obviously.

::looks up Bryan Cranston::

I was right. Definitely not encouraging.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Cthulu’s Intern

Reminds me how in EVE Online, there are some people who name their spaceships and space stations Game of Thrones spoilers so that those who haven’t read the books don’t want to attack them.

That’s fuckin’ hilarious. Smart grunts!

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
7 years ago

@Cloudiah

Depends. If the black kid is rich, and the white killer is poor, I could see jail time.

Robert
Robert
7 years ago

Now, if anyone had put this detail into a SF story circa 1955 or so, the editor would have flagged it for implausibility.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

If his dick is the first thing he thinks to present, has he anything else at all?

Certainly not on his mind.

StarStorm
7 years ago

Okay, I have to give props to Svelinya. That was devious and mean.

Brooked
Brooked
7 years ago

@cloudiah

Fucking Florida and “Stand Your Ground” legal murder yet again. This goes way beyond the Martin shooting and this case, the law is an absolute travesty. Fucking Florida.

katz
7 years ago

Also reminiscent of this tweet.

kittehserf
7 years ago

katz – good on her! 😀

Bina – nope, no mind worth knowing about there, which pretty much excludes the rest of him.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

Ha! That was brilliant. One unwanted intrusion deserves another.

I was once waiting in line to see the second showing of “No Way Out” with my then-boyfriend, when some JERKFACE came out from the first showing and yelled out the surprise ending. I was amazed he got out of the lobby alive.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
7 years ago

How is having the thought to grab a gun and then going outside and firing 10 rounds at a specific target that he knew contained people not evidence of intent to kill?

“Dunn testified earlier this week that he began shooting in a state of panic after he thought he saw the barrel of a gun in the back window as Davis started to get out of the car.”
Because all reasonable people imagine guns in back windows of cars? Bloody hell.

HeatherN
7 years ago

This reminds me of a story making the rounds awhile back about a woman at a coffee shop with a Bioshock Infinite t-shirt (or some such)…and the barista says something to the effect of “I bet you didn’t even play the game.” So she responded by spoiling the end.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
7 years ago

This is why allowing any person to carry a gun is not a good idea:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/threat-management/201001/adrenaline-rushes-can-they-help-us-deal-real-crisis

That’s why in New Zealand, for example, during a police pursuit the comms centre is in charge of the pursuit and makes all the decisions around continuing it/abandoning it. The adrenaline puts people into a brain fog, where they don’t make good decisions – not because they’re bad people, but because of what adrenaline and the rest of the fight-or-flight reflex does on processing information.

One ends up with a really bad “confirmation bias” situation, where signals are interpreted consistent with the “this situation is really bad” mindset. Disconfirming signals are ignored. This should be an extremely strong reason to prevent the general population wandering around with loaded guns.

So even in the situation where the person shooting the gun isn’t an arsehole, a bad outcome can still be obtained, sadly. 🙁

kittehserf
7 years ago

That goes to the core of why I wouldn’t want to carry a gun even if it were legal. I hadn’t connected it to the flight-or-fight response, but I know if I had one, sooner or later I’d use it.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

Florida strikes again! I think I’d be afraid to go there and I’m white as could be. How could his guilt be any more clear cut. Didn’t he leave the scene of the crime, go home and casually order a pizza like nothing was even wrong? Somebody needs to lock him and George Zimmerman in a room with no food and wait for one to cannibalize the other.

sparky
sparky
7 years ago

I heard about the Dunn case awhile back on the news. I am sickened, but not completely surprised, by the verdict. Not after the Trayvon Martin case. Shooting ten rounds at a car full of kids, 3 shots while they are driving away; that seems like a pretty clear-cut case of murder to me. But the victims were black, and playing loud rap music. So of course, the white man can’t possibly be guilty of murder. After all, he’s a white man.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

delphi_ote
delphi_ote
7 years ago

Just make sure to tell the jury that the tank magically disappeared before the police arrived, David.

Of course, we’re being silly with the tank example. That obviously wouldn’t work. If you really want to get away with murder, just make sure you’re white and they’re black.

markb
markb
7 years ago

Not sure how you can be found guilty of attempted murder, and not guilty of actual murder. Regardless, the murder charge is going to be re-tried due to the hung jury, and the attempted murder charges are enough to put him away for life. Plus, you only need one dissenting juror for a hung jury. So if the hung jury was, in fact, due to one of the jurors being racist, saying “I can’t believe they didn’t find him guilty of murder” is like saying “I can’t believe there is one racist person in Florida who happened to be on that jury.”

Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
7 years ago

There are still people claiming that Davis got out of the car when there is clear evidence to the contrary through the autopsy report. He was seated in the vehicle, and the door was closed. Not to mention the fact that THERE ARE THREE WITNESSES TO THE SHOOTING. For fuck’s sake, the word of this piece of garbage murderer was given more weight than the word of the three other kids he was shooting at!!

I’m furious this morning. I just knew they wouldn’t convict him of murder, but I’m still furious at people in this country right now. Unarmed 17 year old kids just going about their business, and some piece of shit dude with anger problems murders them, and a jury thinks that response isn’t criminal.

And convicted of shooting AT the other kids, but not convicted of murdering the one who died? WHAT THE HELL.

Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
7 years ago

And this sociopath who was “in fear for his life” didn’t call the police to report that he was in an altercation like a normal person would. He calmly went back to his hotel and ordered a pizza, went to bed, then got up the next morning and drove home. Fucker was driving drunk at the time, too.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
7 years ago

And I just found this link in a comment at ThinkProgress. I haven’t watched more than a few seconds (I’m in the same room as mr who is watching a doco on maths and cosmology – on SBS for any Oz types here) and interruptions would not be appreciated.

It turns out that this bloke is not a very nice person – and has shown his ugly side on a regular basis for a long time. .
http://members.jacksonville.com/opinion/blog/403169/gary-mills/2014-02-13/watch-michael-dunn-neighbor-speaks-out

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