Open Thread for Personal Stuff: February 2014 Edition

i haven’t dropped by in a while, but since i like the socializing with awesome people aspect of manboobz most, and less like the misogyny (even tho it’s being mocked) i need to get a break from, here seemed like a good place to start.

@pineapplecookie.

Depression sucks. I hope you manage to cope okay; I remember when my depression acts up the worst part is is feeling like it’s no big deal or your just making things up. I second (whoever said it? sorry, can’t remember :() that just thinking of it as an illness (which it is) helps me; idk if it would help you. another thing i try to do is imagine what i’d say to someone else w/ the same problem, because some people (me at least) are harder on themselves than everyone else, and can recognize other people need space or need to not feel bad for their own medical problems but are harder on themselves.

/idk if advice is what you wanted so just tell me if i overstepped a line

*sends positive thoughts your way*

@ally

i’m glad to hear you’re getting out on your own. I hope everything goes okay, and you’re safe.

and on a slightly different (less serious? idk) note, tawny (are they your cat or just the cat of whoever your with?) is super cute. are you enjoying hanging around them (as in the cat)?

@Falconer

I hope your beloved’s grandmother is okay

re: the kid conversation:

lol, i would totally be an auntie I love hanging out with kids, and my step siblings are the best (age 10, 6, and 3).

But I would never have the spoons (illness term denoting levels of energy/non pain for chronically ill people, in case no one knows) to raise kids, not to mention i can hardly imagine myself not messing them up for life, tho that might be me projecting my own parent issues on them (I’m marie’s sister, so we have pretty similar parent issues).

also i have a plan for my life and i feel like kids would disrupt it, or get in the way of what i want to do. and obviously it be kind of shitty to have a kid and then act like “No you’re in the way” so i don’t wanna do that.

/long kid rambles. i have lots of explanations for while i’ll probably never want kids.

oh, and in my personal life, (i mean, personal thread?) I’ve been continuing in college and having a decent time learning things, tho my schedule is packed full thanks to limited transportation options (limited further by disability). 🙁 twelve hour school days twice a week + chronic pain condition = mega ow.

And actually, if you’re interested in book recs, try and get your hands on a library copy of Toxic Parents by Susan Forward. I don’t agree with any of it, but when you’re lost and confused and can’t tell which way is down, it can help get your feet on the ground.

Be careful with that one. I think it’s the same one that we had. It simply sat on the shelves for months, possibly years (we had a lot of books then – about 7000), and then one day mrmagnificent decided to read it. If any family anywhere was toxic, it was his. (He took a long time to accept that I really meant it when I said I had a happy childhood. He didn’t think such a thing was possible.)

He’d read barely more than a couple of chapters before he had to 1) put the book aside, 2) ring up for an appointment with his psychiatrist. It was devastating for quite a while. He did finish it in the end but only with support from therapy. I should point out that he was over 40 at this stage, so you might do better with it being younger and having family members who aren’t shitty. There was no one in his life like that. (All the nice aunties, uncles and dozens of cousins lived in other states.)

My brother has now bought me a plane ticket (with my consent) for the 15th to Colorado. I wish I could stay here much longer as katz and co are wonderful and very supportive, but I must ease the family tensions by going to Colorado. Granted, I will face the risk of being tracked down very easily, but I have friends in Colorado who could help me out as well.

The Double Post Demon has attacked X_X

@Ally

Hope things go well for you in colorado. Free internet hugs from me, too, if you want them. :3

@kittehs

Nice pictures 😀

Ally, also sending best wishes for things going well in Colorado.

Marie, I think I’m fairly neurotypical, and I hope I’m not an un-understanding jerk! (Or that if I am, you’ll all tell me.)

Sorry about your mom, Marie. My mate is neurotypical, and probably one of the most understanding people I know, hence the relationship. 🙂

Have fun with your brother, Ally; be safe, and good luck avoiding your dad. I support the plan for a toxic parent island, but only if we can chuck a few of the more scream-y sexist/homophobic USA-ian political types there with them.

Marie – I think I’m neurotypical, though when it comes down to it, what’s the definition or dividing line? Anyways ditto what cloudiah said. (But I know I’m not a jerk ‘cos you already told me I’m perfect awesome.) 😉

Ta about the pics!

I wonder how many people think “I’m neurotypical” or “I’m not neurotypical” and those who know them would wonder why on earth they thought that? I mean, I really don’t know the definitions or whether it’s just a matter of having something going on – some condition – that stuffs your life around. I wonder, too, if some neurotypical people use the term in far too narrow a way – I mean in labelling people they think are too different or eccentric or odd or whatever. What’s the bet “neurotypical” or “normal” or just “functioning” covers a hell of a broader territory than we’re led to believe?

/thinking out loud aka stream of consciousness if you want to be fancy

RE: mildlymagnificent

I just realized that I said I didn’t agree with ANY of the book, rather than that I didn’t agree with ALL of it. *shame* But I’m sure Ally knew what I meant.

Be careful with that one. He’d read barely more than a couple of chapters before he had to 1) put the book aside, 2) ring up for an appointment with his psychiatrist. It was devastating for quite a while.

Enh, honestly, I don’t think there’s a way to soften the blow when your brain finally realizes your parents are toxic to you. *shrug* I don’t consider it ideal, but seeing as Ally’s trying to detach from someone who’s threatened physical violence on her multiple times and is now trying to stalk her, I figure physical distance trumps sanity. I have more faith in Ally surviving a mental breakdown than I do in her surviving HIM.

…God, I hate that these are decisions I’m accustomed to making on a daily basis.

RE: Ally

Good luck in Colorado!

“What is it called when someone’s gender swaps often?”

That’s sorta my pharm student’s deal, and ze ID’s as genderfluid. Me? I more hang out in the middle, cuz gender is weird!