Ally – you have nothing to be ashamed of. Like cloudiah said, he’s very good at invading spaces. He’s an abuser and that can’t be said often enough. Think of the advice you’d give someone else being stalked and abused; think how you’d want to help them draw boundaries, and then think you are that someone else.
Are you using a different phone, yet? If so, how did he get your number? Does shitface know you’re at your mother’s place?
I think that looks like quite a charming young man.
Kiwi girl
10 years ago
Who would be improved if he was a cat. 🙂
Ally, you could also white-lie to your dad. If/when he rings again, you could say that you’ve only got 5 minutes because you’re in the middle of [make something up] or about to go out [if time means this won’t get called out]. Then, at the end of 5 minutes you can say, sorry go to go, and hang up.
This is one way of stopping the calls getting too long. It’s unfortunately not a way of stopping getting them at all. But it does give you the “excuse” to hang up fast without appearing rude, if you’re worried about that.
Ally, I’m sorry your dad got a hold of you 🙁 it sounds like he will probably be trying his best to get a hold of you and that is going to be really difficult!
In better news, I have been looking up housing in cities in Washington, and it’s surprisingly cheap for Olympia and Tacoma. I’m thinking about moving there some day. It would be good for me to live by myself on my own for a while.
I feel like the more I talk to my dad about trans issues, the more he gets into my head and into my world. Maybe I’m just whiny, but I almost feel as if he’s invading the safe place in my head. I just want him to accept me and leave me alone.
Per katz’s suggestions I’m probably not going to Olympia, although Tacoma and a few other cities are still worth consideration, I think.
Also, my dad just sent me an email telling me to meet my own bigoted conservative religious teachers again and ask them about the status of transgender people in Islam. He also expressed his “concern” about me having sex with a man because homosexuality is forbidden in Islam according to him.
In brighter news, my nice aunt just texted me asking how I’m doing and if there’s anything she can do to help me. She apparently knows nothing about what has happened over the past two weeks. I’ll probably come out to her shortly because she is literally the only family member who has expressed support for LGBT people.
You have my hair sympathies. Our system has a general policy of only cutting hair about twice a year, so that it goes from buzzcut to Luke Skywalker to awkward David Bowie wannabe. I’m not above stealing my little sister’s headband to keep bangs out of my eyes during work.
Kiwi girl
10 years ago
@kitteh, what a cool hat, and the colour is really pretty. Goes nicely with your dark hair too. 🙂
@Ally, yep, that looks like the awkward phase many of us have been through. The beanie looks cool. You take really cool selfies (I assume it’s a selfie). Great news about your aunt! 🙂
Ally, does your hair grow fast? It looks like you’ll be out of the awkward phase pretty soon. Your hair will be grand when it’s grown out. It’s looking good now, with the beanie shaping the bangs.
Sam-I-Was?
10 years ago
For full disclosure I’m sick as hell so this post is a combination of alcohol & NyQuil.
Uncle lapsed into a coma today. His hospice nurses have switched up their schedules so that someone is with him and father in law at all time as they don’t think he will make it much longer. They upped his morphine and he seems to not be in pain.
I’m tired, I’m sick and I don’t know what to do. They are 5 hours away and he doesn’t want us to come out & disrupt our life for him. Cancer sucks ass.
It doesn’t sound like getting there is at all possible, or a good idea, if you’re sick. But would this be any good – putting through a phone call to tell him you love him? Yes, he’s in a coma, but he might hear it, and at least you’ll have passed on a message.
@Sam-I-Was, More internet hugs if they’re wanted. Seconding kitteh’s idea, especially if you feel like there is anything you’ve left unsaid. If you feel like you’ve already said anything that needed saying, just be glad that he’s not alone and he’s not in pain, and he knows you love and care about him.
gillyrosebee
10 years ago
There have been multiple studies which tested brain waves and physical reactions to demonstrate with a reasonable degree of certainty (beyond people self reporting for themselves or loved ones) that people even in deep comas respond to the voices of people they know and love. If you are as sick as you say, they might not let you in, so I’d say call and ask someone to hold the phone for him.
Above all, you have my sympathies and my condolences.
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago
Sam-I-Was?, so sorry. The phone call idea seems good to me.
We Hunted The Mammoth
I thought it was going to be a cat, too. XD
A cat or a puppy, at least.
Ally – you have nothing to be ashamed of. Like cloudiah said, he’s very good at invading spaces. He’s an abuser and that can’t be said often enough. Think of the advice you’d give someone else being stalked and abused; think how you’d want to help them draw boundaries, and then think you are that someone else.
Are you using a different phone, yet? If so, how did he get your number? Does shitface know you’re at your mother’s place?
I think that looks like quite a charming young man.
Who would be improved if he was a cat. 🙂
Ally, you could also white-lie to your dad. If/when he rings again, you could say that you’ve only got 5 minutes because you’re in the middle of [make something up] or about to go out [if time means this won’t get called out]. Then, at the end of 5 minutes you can say, sorry go to go, and hang up.
This is one way of stopping the calls getting too long. It’s unfortunately not a way of stopping getting them at all. But it does give you the “excuse” to hang up fast without appearing rude, if you’re worried about that.
I knew you would all assume he was a cat. (I know my audience!)
He’s pretty darn cute, even if not a cat. SO smiley. Did I mention that? Also incredibly wriggly and squirmy.
While I have no desire to have a baby, I am very much enjoying hanging out with one that I can hand off for diaper changing and nursing.
Ally, I’m sorry your dad got a hold of you 🙁 it sounds like he will probably be trying his best to get a hold of you and that is going to be really difficult!
Seriously, Ally, get a new phone. Turn that one off and don’t turn it on again.
I expected a human, because the sister could talk. But up to that point I expected a dog.
In better news, I have been looking up housing in cities in Washington, and it’s surprisingly cheap for Olympia and Tacoma. I’m thinking about moving there some day. It would be good for me to live by myself on my own for a while.
I finished my cotton cable-knit cap at last!
@Ally
Don’t worry, you aren’t being whiny.
And good luck with your housing :3
Per katz’s suggestions I’m probably not going to Olympia, although Tacoma and a few other cities are still worth consideration, I think.
Also, my dad just sent me an email telling me to meet my own bigoted conservative religious teachers again and ask them about the status of transgender people in Islam. He also expressed his “concern” about me having sex with a man because homosexuality is forbidden in Islam according to him.
In brighter news, my nice aunt just texted me asking how I’m doing and if there’s anything she can do to help me. She apparently knows nothing about what has happened over the past two weeks. I’ll probably come out to her shortly because she is literally the only family member who has expressed support for LGBT people.
Ally, is there something you can do to distract yourself and just get him out of your head?
Ninjaed by the happier news. That’s cool!
You know how you guys were talking about my hair reaching the awkward phase soon? Well, it’s already here apparently: http://i.imgur.com/RAS274L.jpg
X_X At least it looks okay with the beanie.
I’m glad to hear that your aunt texted you 🙂
RE: Ally
You have my hair sympathies. Our system has a general policy of only cutting hair about twice a year, so that it goes from buzzcut to Luke Skywalker to awkward David Bowie wannabe. I’m not above stealing my little sister’s headband to keep bangs out of my eyes during work.
@kitteh, what a cool hat, and the colour is really pretty. Goes nicely with your dark hair too. 🙂
@Ally, yep, that looks like the awkward phase many of us have been through. The beanie looks cool. You take really cool selfies (I assume it’s a selfie). Great news about your aunt! 🙂
Kiwi girl, thanks! 🙂
Ally, does your hair grow fast? It looks like you’ll be out of the awkward phase pretty soon. Your hair will be grand when it’s grown out. It’s looking good now, with the beanie shaping the bangs.
For full disclosure I’m sick as hell so this post is a combination of alcohol & NyQuil.
Uncle lapsed into a coma today. His hospice nurses have switched up their schedules so that someone is with him and father in law at all time as they don’t think he will make it much longer. They upped his morphine and he seems to not be in pain.
I’m tired, I’m sick and I don’t know what to do. They are 5 hours away and he doesn’t want us to come out & disrupt our life for him. Cancer sucks ass.
Sam-I-Was?, all the hugs.
It doesn’t sound like getting there is at all possible, or a good idea, if you’re sick. But would this be any good – putting through a phone call to tell him you love him? Yes, he’s in a coma, but he might hear it, and at least you’ll have passed on a message.
@Sam-I-Was, More internet hugs if they’re wanted. Seconding kitteh’s idea, especially if you feel like there is anything you’ve left unsaid. If you feel like you’ve already said anything that needed saying, just be glad that he’s not alone and he’s not in pain, and he knows you love and care about him.
There have been multiple studies which tested brain waves and physical reactions to demonstrate with a reasonable degree of certainty (beyond people self reporting for themselves or loved ones) that people even in deep comas respond to the voices of people they know and love. If you are as sick as you say, they might not let you in, so I’d say call and ask someone to hold the phone for him.
Above all, you have my sympathies and my condolences.
Sam-I-Was?, so sorry. The phone call idea seems good to me.